Jolly Rogers and the Seagulls of Justice
by Rose 'ire Trinity
Summary: Tavvy wants to be the greatest Marine. Sammy wants to be the greatest pirate. Join these two friends as they follow their dreams on separate paths, yet side by side to the end.
1. Tavvy and Sammy

No, my name is not Eiichiro Oda and I do not own One Piece

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><p><em>It has been thirty years since the Marines executed Monkey D. Luffy, second King of the Pirates, in his home town. The Marines thought it would all be over with his death. They could not have been any more wrong. You see, right before they cut off his head, Luffy uttered his last words, grinning all the while. "I found One Piece! If you want it, try and find it!" And so began the second Great Age of Pirates. The Marines found themselves with an even bigger problem. Many of the new pirates were those who thought, "Hey, some crazy teenager could find One Piece, so why can't I?" A massive recruiting campaign began. The Marines swelled in size, as did the number of pirates. Battles raged. Many islands throughout the world were hit by the crossfire between these two conflicting sides. Now, let us take a look at one of those islands...<em>

~East Blue: Beedle City, Starwash Island~

A crowd had gathered in the center of town. Another fight. Locked in battle were two teenage boys. One had short, floppy, bleached white hair that hung over his eyes in thin bangs. The boy wore a blue and white flannel shirt, unbuttoned to reveal a white tank top underneath. His sleeves were rolled up past his elbows, exposing lean, yet muscular arms. His shorts, stopping just above his knees, were a dark gray. A red bandana was tied around his right upper arm. Around his neck hung a necklace of three animal claws stung on a leather cord.

The other boy had spiky, jet black hair with a streak of red tearing through the left. He wore a sleeveless black shirt with a large, grinning white skull in the middle. His shorts were a light tan color and sported many pockets. Underneath his left eye, a small scar gleamed silver in the midday sunlight. Just like the white-haired boy, he had a bright red bandana tied on his upper arm and a similar necklace of claws.

"Give up, Tavvy!" growled the boy with the skull shirt. He swung his arm, catching the other on the side of the head. The other boy, Tavvy, staggered backwards.

"Yeah, right! As if I'd ever give up to you, Sammy!" shouted Tavvy, retaliating with a devastating punch to the jaw. The blow was so strong that Sammy rose into the air before crashing down back to the ground. He got up, spitting out a mixture of saliva, blood, and dirt.

Sammy wiped his mouth, then rushed towards his opponent. "Davy died because of those rotten Marines!" he shrieked, slamming into Tavvy with a huge force. Both of them toppled to the ground, Sammy on top.

Tavvy kicked the boy off him. "No, it was those stupid pirates!" He punched Sammy in the shoulder.

Ignoring the blow, Sammy tackled Tavvy. Again, they fell to the ground. "It's all because of the Marines!"

Tavvy managed to roll on top of Sammy. "It's the pirates' fault!"

"Marines!"

"Pirates!"

"MARINES!"

"PIRATES!"

The two boys separated, rising and backing away from each other. Then they charged, arms drawn back and ready to deliver the final blow.

"Damn pirates!"

"Damn Marines!"

Jumping into the air, they punched each other at the same time. Both fists slammed into the opposition's cheek. Both heads jerked back. Both collided with the ground and lay there, unable to move.

After a considerable amount of time spent just lying there, Tavvy spoke. "Another tie," he muttered from the ground, his lips curling into a small smile. The smile turned into a large grin. He lifted his head to look at Sammy.

"Geez. What was that? Fifty-seven? I guess it's fifty-eight now," said Sammy, propping himself up onto his elbows. "Darn. I've never won."

Tavvy let out a short bark of laughter. "Hey! I haven't either!"

No one spoke for a few moments. The crowd dispersed. This match was over. People walked away, realizing they had better things to do. Soon, only the two teens were left.

Breaking the uneasy silence, Sammy spoke. "Tavvy…are you really going to enlist with the Marines?"

Tavvy looked him in the eye. "Well, are you really going to become a pirate?"

Neither felt inclined to answer the other's question. They just stared at each other, unblinking.

Then, a single voice penetrated through the silence. "Damnit! Why is it always you two?" asked a female voice, tired and weary. It belonged to a woman, probably in her early thirties, with wavy blond hair pulled back in a ponytail. She wore a pair of dirty overalls over a white blouse with the sleeves rolled up right above her elbows. Heavy boots covered her feet. They made a loud thump every time she took a step. Her face displayed an annoyed expression. Obviously, this situation was fairly common.

"S-Sorry, Maria-san," both Tavvy and Sammy mumbled, rising and brushing themselves off. When Maria reached them, they bowed their heads, refusing to meet her gaze.

Maria shook her head in a disapproving manner. "Why? You two were on such good terms until a few weeks ago. What happened?"

The boys pointed to each other, rage glittering clearly in both pairs of eyes.

"Sammy's gonna become a pirate!" yelled Tavvy accusingly.

"Well, Tavvy's gonna become a Marine!" countered Sammy.

They glared at each other with an unwavering malice. Their eyes were both a clear blue, perfect reflections of a calm ocean, which neither of them displayed with their body language.

Maria sighed, her calm gray eyes filled with sadness. "No one is responsible for Davy's death. You two know that, so why are you fighting?"

"If those pirates hadn't come to the island, then Davy would still be alive!" Tavvy snapped, his eyes flashing. He was trembling with fury, his hands balled into tight fists.

Sammy whirled around to face his friend, his face beet red. "So? If the Marines hadn't told everyone to go inside, Davy would've had somewhere to run!"

"But it was the pirates who blew up Davy's house!"

"No, it was the Marines!"

"Enough! You are both staying right here on this island! Is that clear?" shouted Maria. The boys were about to argue when they became aware of the assortment of knives sticking out from the pockets in Maria's overalls. They also saw her hand move slightly to one with a terribly jagged edge.

"But, Maria-san—" began Sammy tentatively.

"Is that clear?" repeated Maria, cutting Sammy off with a withering glare. She fingered the knife with her finger.

The boys gulped. "Yes, Maria-san," they said in unison, their knees knocking together in terror. They could fight each other, but neither dared to compete with Maria. Her strength and ferocity was inhuman.

Maria smirked, jerking her thumb towards a low building. A single word had been painted over its door: orphanage. "Dinner's ready if you want it. It's Ivan's evening specialty, though if you two want to stay here and fight…"

Nothing mattered to the boys anymore. "FOOD!" they shouted in perfect unison. Tavvy and Sammy rushed straight past Maria, tongues lolling out and drool dribbling down their chins. They forgot about everything in just an instant. Food was far more important.

Maria smiled, slowly shaking her head. "Poor Ivan."

~three hours later~

"They both turn seventeen tomorrow," Maria murmured, propping her feet on the small table in front of her. She leaned backwards in her chair, the front legs rising above the floor. Across from her sat a middle-aged man. His graying hair had been slicked back with gel. A pair of reading glasses rested on his nose. He wore a stained apron over a dark gray, pinstripe suit. Now, he removed the apron, flinging it away carelessly. A blood red carnation had been tucked inside his front pocket.

"Let them do what they want," said the man in a deep, mellow voice. He took a cigar from an inside pocket. Striking a match, he lit the cigar and took a long draft before removing it from his mouth. Smoke drifted out from between his slightly parted lips.

"They'll get killed! How can you be so relaxed about this, Ivan?"

After raising the cigar to his mouth again, Ivan blew out a steady stream of smoke. He smiled. "Really now, Maria. Can you predict their fates? Those two are destined for something great. Someday, they'll return from whatever great adventure they set off on and teach us a thing or two about the world."

Maria frowned. "But look what happened to Davy. Not even this island is safe from conflict. Think about how much worse the outside world is. Tavvy and Sammy are not ready. They never will be!"

Her words made Ivan laugh. It was a deep sound, yet surprisingly gentle. He pointed at Maria with his cigar, causing her to shift uncomfortably. "Maria, just because you're afraid of what's out there, doesn't mean Tavvy and Sammy will be afraid as well. Have a little faith, would you?" he said, a tendril of smoke escaping from the corner of his mouth. "They'll surprise you."

"But..." Maria trailed off. She turned her gaze to a photograph hanging on a wall. It showed a boy, about ten, laughing his head off. He had glittering, clear blue eyes. His sandy blond hair was coated with thick mud, as was his face. In his hands, he held a humongous frog. Obviously, he had chased the poor amphibian into the pond, making himself incredibly filthy in the process.

Maria scowled, enveloped in the memory. The ungrateful little rascal. It had taken a whole week to get the stains out of his shirt.

"You miss him, don't you?" asked Ivan, glancing at the photograph. His words snapped Maria back to the present with a jolt.

The only reply she could think of was, "Who would miss all that extra laundry work?"

Ivan laughed again. "I miss him too." He paused. "I'm going to prepare some supplies. Would you like to help?"

Maria hesitated for a bit too long. "Supplies?"

"For Sammy and Tavvy. They'll both need boats, some money...a lot of food, of course—"

"You're not really going to let them go, are you?"

Ivan looked Maria in the eye, his gaze hard, yet kind. "Maria, they're not kids anymore. You can't keep them here against their will," he said, sticking the cigar back into his mouth. "It's their life to live, you know."

Maria closed her eyes. "I know, I know. I'm just such a worrier," she said. Ivan heard a sharp clack as Maria lowered her chair and swung her legs off the table. "Alright, let's surprise them."

~morning the next day~

Tavvy glanced around the hallway, searching for any signs of movement. He had just emerged from his room. Doors lined the corridor, name plates bolted beside each one. A window at the end of the hallway revealed a barely light morning. The first rays of sunshine just began to creep over the horizon. Seeing no threat, Tavvy took a step forward.

"The coast is clear," he whispered to someone behind him. After a series of shuffling sounds, Sammy poked his head out the door.

"Is Maria-san still asleep?" Sammy asked, scanning his surroundings. He stepped forward and a soft creak escaped from the floorboard. The boys froze.

After a minute or so of standing stock still, they relaxed. It would be disastrous if Maria or Ivan caught them. They would ground them for life. No more evening specials from Ivan. No more fishing trips or hikes into the mountain. Maybe it didn't matter, since they were leaving the island anyways.

"Come on. Let's go."

They moved quietly, testing the floor before taking a cautious step. Soon, they arrived at the end of the hall where a curtain of beads shielded a doorway to the right. Sammy slipped through first, cringing at the sound of rattling beads. Tavvy followed, casting one last glance behind him.

Once they emerged outside, the boys weren't so wary. They grinned at each other, a gleam of victory in their eyes. Finally, they were free!

"To the harbor!"

~at the harbor~

Maria awoke by the sound of two very familiar voices. She tried to rise and almost flipped the rowboat she was laying in, water splashing onto her face. Salty and fairly disgusting. Groaning, she managed to sit up.

"MARIA-SAN?" Sammy shrieked, jumping backwards.

"IVAN-SAMA?"

Ivan also sat up and rubbed his eyes drowsily. He took out a cigar, lit it, and stuck it in his mouth. He then smiled at the two bewildered boys. "Surprised?"

The two could only nod dumbly.

"There's just about everything you need. You two both know how to row a boat, right?"

Again, the boys just nodded.

"Good! Get going then."

They didn't move. Tavvy looked at Sammy. Sammy looked at Tavvy. Then they looked at Ivan and Maria.

"But—" Sammy broke off, unable to continue.

"Maria-san, you said—" tried Tavvy.

Maria smiled sadly. "You two are seventeen already." She looked at Ivan and he gave her a reassuring nod. "You guys should make your own decisions.

Ivan nodded. "Seventeen's a great age to set sail. You two shouldn't waste your life here at an old, rundown orphanage." He chuckled. "Even if it _is_ run by me."

Maria walked over to Sammy and Tavvy and hugged them. "Go ahead. Make us proud," she whispered, tears welling in the corner of her eyes. The early morning sunlight made them look like a trickle of diamonds. She let go. Tavvy and Sammy were, to be frank, shocked. Not only had Maria hugged them, she was crying as well! A rare sight indeed.

Still quite blown, they took a moment for it all to sink in. When it finally did, they looked at each other, eyes gleaming.

"Alright!" they shouted, grasping the other's hand in a firm grip.

Tavvy jokingly punched Sammy in the shoulder. "You'd better become the greatest pirate in the world! Don't you dare slack off!"

"Yeah? You'd better become the greatest Marine! I'm not gonna wait for you!"

"It's on!"

Maria watched the interaction, smiling all the while. Those two were always arguing, but somehow they were always friends. Even through Davy's death...

"You know, I think both sides killed Davy," said Tavvy quietly, subconsciously tugging on his necklace.

After a moment's hesitation, Sammy concurred. "Yeah, I think so too. Marines aren't bad—"

"Neither are pirates."

They stood there in silence. Then, the two exchanged the bandanas on their arm. Embroidered in gold thread in the center of each were three letters. JDT on Tavvy's, JDS on Sammy's. They boarded their boats.

"Thank you Maria-san! Ivan-sama!" they called, waving cheerfully. Sammy rummaged around and found a sandwich. He stuffed it in his mouth. Tavvy took the oars and began rowing.

Maria waved back. Ivan contented himself to just standing, smiling, his cigar pinched between two fingers. "So long, you two!"

"Bye!" Tavvy rowed very fast. Soon he became just a small speck on the horizon. Sammy, though a bit slower, also faded and eventually disappeared as he rowed farther and farther away.

Once the two had completely vanished from sight, Maria turned to Ivan. "Did I truly just let the two most precious things in my life sail off to become whatever they want in a world full of danger and death?"

Ivan chuckled patted her on the head, much to Maria's annoyance. "Yes, you did."

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><p>So begin the adventures of Sammy and Tavvy! Their quest: to become the greatest of the seas! Will they reach their goals, or will they sink to the bottom of the sea? Read on and find out!<p>

**Reviews are appreciated, but not necessary for the enjoyment of this story. Feel free to leave your thoughts in the text box below**

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	2. Tavvy beats up people in kilts

~Tavvy~

Night had fallen before Tavvy saw the lights. They twinkled in the distance, beckoning to him. He rowed harder. Land was near. Land meant a nice soft bed. Land meant a possible Marine recruitment area. But most of all, land meant food. Tavvy had already exhausted the supply of food that Ivan had prepared for him. In fact, he had eaten all of it quite a while ago and felt very hollow inside at the moment. He desperately needed to refuel.

"Food!" Tavvy shouted, just to keep his own spirits up. Too bad Sammy wasn't here to help him row. Then, he could dock at the island in much less time.

Feeling bored, Tavvy started to whistle. Maria had taught him the tune when he was young. There were words, but Tavvy wasn't much of a singer. The lyrics floated through his head, sung by his imagination.

Once there was a brave young boy

Who left his home for the big blue sea

The ocean was his second home

Where he could be what he wanted to be

As he drew closer to the shore, Tavvy could see people moving around. There were parties all over the place. People were drunk, dancing, doubled over with laughter. Brightly colored paper lanterns hung everywhere. Everyone looked happy and merry. The best thing: tables heaped with mountains of food. What a perfect place!

"Alright! Food!" yelled Tavvy upon arriving at the docks. He hopped off his boat after he had secured it to a wooden post in the harbor and gazed at the city with satisfaction. This was his kind of town.

"Hey, you there. Got any food?" asked a shabbily dressed person sitting on a dock. Pulled low over his eyes was a checkered cap, fraying at the edges. He seemed very cold with his bare feet dangling just above the freezing dark water.

Not at all suspicious of this mysterious figure, Tavvy nodded. "Yeah." He looked at the person. "I can get you something to eat, if you like."

At these words, the stranger jumped up, a delightful gleam in his eyes. "Really? You're not pulling my leg, are you?"

Confused, Tavvy looked at the person's leg. "No, I'm definitely not pulling your leg. I'd know if I was pulling your leg."

The stranger grinned, punching Tavvy playfully in the arm. "So you're the comical type, eh? Oh well, doesn't matter as long as I get my belly full! What's your name?"

"Tavvy."

The stranger thought for a moment. "Tavvy, huh? Nice name. Mine's Bailey. Trafalgar Bailey."

"Trafalgar? Isn't that a pirate?"

Bailey scratched the back of his head nervously. "Well, yeah. Trafalgar Law was my granddaddy. But I'm not a pirate! I swear! In fact, I've always wanted to be in the Marines."

Now that Tavvy could see Bailey's face, he realized he was about his age. He had mischievous green eyes that told anyone not to trust him. A splash of freckles dotted his rosy cheeks. There were two eyebrow piercings above his right eye and an assortment of rings fit snuggly on his long, spindly fingers.

"Let's be friends!" said Tavvy, sticking out his hand. "We can sign up for the Marines together!"

At this, Bailey shook his head and backed away. "It's all because of my darned granddad, you know. Them Marines wouldn't even let me past the front gate."

Tavvy pouted. "Aw, come on. I can tell you're a good guy. Plus, I bet they'd like someone with a bit of pirate insight," he said, drooling a little. Tavvy could barely control the urge to run off and find something to eat. But he wanted a friend with him. Sammy was off on his pirate adventure, so Bailey would have to do.

"Well..." Bailey hesitated. "Oh, I guess it's worth a try. I guess."

"Alright! Let's go find food!" Tavvy sped off towards town, leaving Bailey in the dust. It was a while before Bailey registered what had happened.

"Wait. Did you even care about my answer? Hey! Wait for me, Tavvy!"

"Too slow, Bailey!"

"I said WAIT, damnit!"

When Bailey finally caught up to Tavvy, they were already deep in town. Tavvy had stopped at a small ramen stand and was currently ordering a large bowl of steaming noodles. Bailey joined him and ordered something as well.

"Sammy likes onigiri, but I prefer ramen. Everyone knows ramen is the best! Don't you think so?" Tavvy asked, slurping up the noodles noisily as he talked.

Bailey nodded enthusiastically, raising the bowl to his mouth. "Of course! Onigiri is fine, but it can't compare to ramen."

They continued to eat. They both finished quickly. Bailey let out a satisfied belch while Tavvy ordered another bowl and consumed that within half a minute. He was about to order yet another, when he noticed a commotion at a nearby shop.

"This is far too overpriced!" shouted a short man holding up a box of sushi. The voice of the man was so extremely high pitched that Tavvy wasn't sure if the guy was really human. He was also very overweight, the many folds of fat gathered under his chin flopping around with every movement he made. Surrounding the man were six, big and beefy bodyguards who cracked their necks and knuckles every once in a while. They were all dressed in black muscle shirts and plaid kilts. A tiny red cap sat atop each of their shiny, bald heads.

The shopkeeper shifted nervously. "That's the price, sir. I can't change that," he said timidly. As soon as those words left his mouth, one of the short man's bodyguards grabbed the shopkeeper and held him in a headlock.

The short man snickered. "That is too bad. I wouldn't even pay two beli for this trash you call food!" He threw down the box of sushi on the ground, the contents spilling out across the pavement. He continued to kick at the ruined food, laughing as he did so.

Tavvy couldn't take it anymore. "Hey! Apologize to that guy right now!" he shouted, storming over to the man angrily. "He worked hard on making that food for you!"

The short man glanced at the incoming stranger, incredibly annoyed. He signaled to one of his bodyguards. "Get rid of him, Goose," he squeaked, pointing at Tavvy.

"Whoa!" Tavvy yelled as the huge guard, Goose, swung at him. Tavvy sidestepped it easily and gawked at the man. "Your name is Goose?"

"Got a problem with that?" Goose grunted, swinging again. Tavvy dodged the attack, but didn't retaliate. Goose continued to attack, kicking, punching, and even biting. He never got close to Tavvy and the bodyguard's boss was getting impatient.

"Just stand still and accept your fate!" squealed the man. His face had turned very red. Tavvy noticed a small square of hair just below the man's nose. It look him a while to realize that it was his mustache.

Tavvy, completely distracted by the mustache, forgot to avoid Goose's punch. The large man sent Tavvy sprawling into the wall of an inn, the flimsy, plaster wall collapsing on top of him.

"Finally," the short man sniffed, crossing his stubby little arms. "What a persistent fellow." He was profoundly shocked when Tavvy burst out of the rubble, a flame of fury flaring brightly in his eyes.

"RAWR!" roared Tavvy. He rubbed his neck, wincing, and cursed himself. "I really can't believe I got hit by a man wearing a skirt!"

Goose tensed. He was an experienced bodyguard. He knew when he was up against a tough opponent.

Tavvy scowled and rolled his shoulders. "Gosh, I don't like fighting people weaker than me, especially people in skirts. Real men don't wear skirts, you know that?"

"It's a kilt," Goose said flatly.

"Whatever." Tavvy slowly extended his hand. Just as slowly, he clenched his hand into a fist. "I'll give you a warning. Either you pay for your food, or I beat you up and then use your money to pay for your food for you."

"Kill him, Goose! Kill him!" shouted the short man. He had gotten even redder and looked as if he were about to explode with anger. His remaining bodyguards chuckled and placed bets on who would win. They were sure the kid wouldn't stand a chance against Goose. Goose was the strongest of the six. He was unbeatable.

Goose dropped into a fighting stance. "Bring it, kid."

Tavvy grinned. "Last chance, Goosey. Tell your fat little boss to pay up."

"KILL HIM!"

Goose charged at Tavvy. His fist hit Tavvy square in the chest. "Sorry, kid."

"I'm the one who should be sorry," Goose heard. He realized Tavvy still had his hand clenched. "**Kizuato: Level 1**."

An invisible blast propelled Goose backwards. Tavvy had unfurled his hand so quickly, it had sent a ripple of energy through the air. The attack contained so much power that it cut Goose's skin. The heavily built man crash-landed on a nearby food stand. Everyone in the street stared at Tavvy, the kid who had defeated the undefeatable bodyguard.

"**Takigawa**." Tavvy thrust both his hands forward towards the shocked short guy and his even more shocked bodyguards. They tumbled across the street like tumbleweed to join Goose beside the food stand. Amazingly, the shopkeeper emerged unharmed from the attack. His eyes wide, the shopkeeper stared at Tavvy with a sense of awe.

Tavvy growled, still angry. He spun around once, twice, then slammed his fist into the ground. It seemed like a miniature earthquake to the people on the street. Cracks spread quickly from where Tavvy's arm was buried in the ground. Tavvy withdrew his hand, shaking off the dust. He finally seemed to notice everyone's gazes focused on him.

"Whoa. Sorry about all the damages. I'll pay for everything," said Tavvy, realizing the mess he had made. He then reconsidered. "Well, not _everything_."

Silence. Tavvy scratched his head, confused. If they were angry, why didn't they just shout at him or something?

"That…was…freaking awesome!" Bailey shouted. He had watched the whole ordeal without interfering. Who knew this guy was this good? No wonder he was going to join the Marines.

Bailey's words were met with a roar of approval. Everyone cheered. The shopkeeper gave Tavvy ten boxes of sushi for free. The short guy, whose name was Timily Rocce, was in fact an evil business man whose company had collapsed after a rivaling business crushed him. He had unleashed his spite on the innocent citizens of the city, never paying for anything and ordering his bodyguards to destroy anyone who said anything about it. Everyone was glad Tavvy had defeated him.

"If there's anything we can do for you, just say it," the mayor of the town said to Tavvy.

Tavvy considered. "Well, there is one thing. Do you know where the nearest recruitment area for the Marines is?"

The mayor nodded. "Oh, yes. One of their bases is located at the other side of this island. It's about a three day's journey on foot."

"That's great. Thanks a ton!" Tavvy shouted. He waved a cheerful good-bye to the mayor and hurried to the inn where he knew Bailey was waiting. "Guess what, Bailey? Three days till we're Marines!" But Bailey wasn't there.

* * *

><p>Tavvy meets Trafalgar Bailey, the grandson of Supernova Trafalgar Law, and rids a small town of a big menace! But Bailey has disappeared? Oh no! Bailey is the creation of my friend, who I shall call Michelle. Btw, Michelle is in love with Law. Bailey's the dream child she wants with him. That is not weird at all.<p>

Sorry it took so long for me to upload. I have no excuses. Chapters will alternate between Tavvy and Sammy's adventures. I'll try to fall into a regular release schedule, but don't bet on it. Well, thanks for reading and have a great day!


	3. Sammy scares a giant bug

~Sammy~

"I'M HUNGRY!" Sammy shouted to the sky. If only he hadn't eaten all of that food Ivan had packed...but it had just been too delicious! He could never resist Ivan's cooking.

A bird flew overhead and circled his boat. That was a sign of land, right? Before Sammy could think it through, he suddenly found his face covered in bird poop.

"Ew! That was not what I was hungry for!" He bent of the side of the boat and washed his face with the salty water. Stupid bird. But still, birds meant land. Maria had taught him that a long time ago, he remembered. When Davy was still alive.

Sammy shook his head, spraying water everywhere. He wasn't going to think of Davy. That would just make him depressed. Instead, he should think about land. And food.

The light from the moon was just enough so that Sammy could see the silhouette of a jagged mountain line, rising above the sea. Sammy rowed harder. Yes, it was quite a large island. He was surprised that he hadn't spotted it sooner.

"It doesn't look like anybody lives there," Sammy muttered to himself as he drew nearer. What he could see of the island was completely covered in a dense forest of trees. An eerie mist prevented him from seeing much more.

About an hour later, Sammy's boat ground ashore. He was greeted by pure, untamed wilderness. Gleaming eyes watched the boy closely from the shadows of the forest as he hopped out of the rowboat and stretched his limbs. Then, he paced around on the narrow beach. Any witness to this action might have thought that the boy was deep in thought, pondering his next moves in detailed precision. In reality, all Sammy could think of was where he could get food in this place.

Sammy's stomach growled. He patted his belly. "So hungry," he murmured. He turned to the jungle. It was dark and scary. Perfect. There must be tons of food in there.

Sammy heaved his boat farther inland and took out a backpack. Inside it, Ivan had packed some traveling necessities. Of course, there was not even a single crumb of food left, but there was a rope, some money, two towels, matches, other stuff, and a cigar. Hold on. Why was there a cigar in his bag? Did Ivan really expect him to start smoking? He chucked the cigar into the ocean.

"ANYONE IN THERE?" Sammy shouted, turning to the forest. No one answered. "Geez. What a lonely place. I wish Tavvy was here."

Immediately, Sammy punched himself. He didn't need Tavvy. Tavvy was off on his own little Marine thing. Sammy was a pirate. Pirates didn't need Marines!

"O-o-ow," Sammy moaned. He had punched himself way too hard. Still wincing in pain, he shouldered his bag and headed into the jungle. As soon as he entered, the atmosphere completely changed. It was terribly humid, the air heavy with moisture. The mere act of breathing became a difficult task. Sammy decided to turn back, but found no exit. He had only traveled perhaps a few yards into the forest, yet he was already lost.

Sammy swore and continued deeper into the jungle. There were no distinguishing landmarks or anything of the sort. Just a mass a green. And Sammy had never had any sense of direction in the first place.

A loud, buzzing sound caught Sammy's attention. It continued to get louder and louder until it was a deafening roar.

"Shut up!" Sammy shouted, but to no avail. He realized the source of all the noise was a gigantic flying insect, hovering behind him on four pairs of fluorescent wings. Its pincers snapped at him hungrily, ready to devour its next meal. Sammy stared into large, shiny compound eyes. He more he stared, the more annoyed he became. "I said, SHUT UP!"

The giant bug ignored him and began to circle Sammy, all the while making that insufferable noise. Sammy tried to keep the insect within his sight, but soon got dizzy. His head was spinning and he thought he might let go of all the food that Ivan had so painstakingly prepared for him. And that horrible noise!

Finally, Sammy couldn't take it anymore. "**SHINRINKASAI**!" he shouted. He crossed his arms over his chest, then snapped them straight, unleashing a tremendous burst of energy. The surrounding foliage was completely flattened. Trees with trunks more than ten feet in diameter had been blown to a 45 degree angle. The insect was battered by the strange force and instantly stopped circling Sammy, though it continued to beat its wings, persistently creating that nasty buzzing sound.

Once again, Sammy looked the insect in the eye. "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU SHITTY BUG!" His words were far more powerful than his attack. The insect immediately sped off, too afraid to pursue its prey any further. Or perhaps it would have turned into the prey if it had stayed for much longer

Sammy shook his head, dispelling any traces of dizziness, then trudged on through the forest. He looked up after a few minutes. The trees were so closely packed together that there wasn't any sign of the night sky overhead. Sammy sighed.

"I'M HUNGRY!" he yelled to the trees. Birds chirped at him in annoyance. Sammy fell to his knees as his stomach growled louder than ever. It was too much to bear! How would he ever survive?

That's when his nose picked up a strange scent, so out of place in the middle of a jungle. A very, very welcoming smell.

"Someone's cooking food!"

Sammy sniffed. It was close. With renewed energy, he followed the wonderful aroma through the forest with his nose raised high in the air. He soon came upon a small clearing where a fire burned brightly. Someone sat near the fire with their back to Sammy.

"Hello!" Sammy said. The stranger jumped up and whirled around, a pair of kitchen knives in her hands. She was around Sammy's age, her long silver hair tied in a thick braid that was slung over her left shoulder. Sammy found himself gazing into vivid red eyes that flashed as the fire flickered. The stranger wore a sleeveless shirt and a pair of shorts, which exposed much of her tan skin. She was actually very short and seemed to be trying to make up for it with a pair of high heels, though it didn't make much of a difference anyways.

The girl relaxed when she realized it was only some teenage boy. "Who are you?" she asked, lowering her knives.

Sammy bowed politely. "My name is Sammy! I'm a pirate! I'm on a quest to defeat my best friend in an ultimate duel once I become the next pirate king! Nice to meet you!"

The girl paused, then bust into laughter. "Become the pirate king? Oh, please! Do you know how many people have said that and died? What makes you think you can do it?"

"Hey, it's rude to laugh at other people's dreams!" Sammy shouted angrily. Then, his expression changed. "Oh, by the way, can I have some food?"

The girl blinked. This boy was really dumb. Really, really dumb. "No. This is my food. Go get your own."

"Meanie-face! I'll just rob you then!" Sammy tried to move around the girl from the right, but she blocked his path. He tried again, this time from the left, but the girl had already anticipated this. Frustrated and without any other option, Sammy jumped and sailed right over the girl's head, landing right beside the fire. There was a large pot filled with bubbling liquid hanging over the fire. It smelled so good!

Sammy barely dodged the knife that the girl had thrown. He grabbed the pot with his bare hands and used that to block the other knife that came hurtling towards him. The impact made a deep, ringing sound.

"Put that back! It's not done!" the girl shouted.

Sammy took a deep breath, inhaling the delicious aroma of the soup. "What do you mean? It smells like it's already done."

"Idiot!" the girl hissed. "You don't know the first thing about preparing delicious food! Put it back!"

"No way! I'm hungry!" Sammy ran off with the pot in his hands, the soup inside sloshing around and threatening to spill. The girl pursued closely. And she was gaining. Sammy, who was being dragged down by his backpack as well as the pot of scalding hot soup, could not keep a fast pace while navigating through the treacherous terrain of the rainforest.

Sammy tripped on a protruding root. He fell flat on his face, looking up in time to see the pot sailing through the air. All of a sudden, the girl leapt up from a fallen log, propelling herself up and catching the pot before it hit the ground.

"Ouch! Hot!" she cried, almost dropping pot. She grasped the handles and grinned at Sammy, who was still on the ground. After a moment's hesitation, she reached down and plucked the bandana off Sammy's arm. Sammy didn't even have a chance to react as the girl jumped back instantly.

"Give it back!" Sammy called, but the girl ran off. How she could run so fast in those high heels, Sammy would have liked to know. He tried to get up, but his ankle wouldn't support his weight. "Come back, you meanie-face!"

"That's what you get!" shouted the girl over her shoulder. She waved the bandana over her head. "And the name's Noelle. See ya later, sucker!"

"Damn it! Give it back!"

Noelle was far out of sight before Sammy managed to sit up and wrap his ankle in the bandages that he had found in his backpack. He heaved himself to his feet and limped off in the general direction Noelle had gone. Emphasis on 'general'.

It was late in the morning before Sammy emerged on the other side of the jungle. On the other side of the jungle lay a densely populated town. Everyone was bustling around, minding their own business. Sammy groaned. If only he had rowed around to the opposite side of the island, he definitely wouldn't have run into that crazy Noelle girl and he definitely would have found some good food in town.

"Why am I so dumb?" Sammy muttered to himself. He hobbled into the crowds, wincing every time someone bumped into him and jolted his ankle. His first priority: find that Noelle girl and get back that bandana. Second: food. Third: well, he hadn't thought that far ahead.

"Excuse me! You in the skull shirt!" called a cloaked person from the shadows of a shop selling paper fans. The hood was pulled low over his face and his back was hunched over like an old person's.

Sammy stopped. "Yeah. Do you need something?" he asked.

The cloaked figure nodded. "I'm looking for a crewmate of mine. His name is Tauris. He has a lot of spiky brown hair and is really…er…beefy. He gets lost fairly easily. Have you by any chance seen him? We can't go on without him."

"No. Sorry," Sammy said, shaking his head. "Have you seen a girl with a long silver braid and scary red eyes? She's also really short."

"As a matter of fact, I have. She went down this street and then turned right two intersections down. But that was a couple hours ago. Is she someone important?"

Sammy crossed his arms in a frustrated manner. "You could say that, I guess. She stole my friend's bandana!" he shouted. "That bandana is really important!"

The cloaked person shrugged. He probably didn't care at all. "Oh well. Good luck." And with that, he stepped back and melded into the shadows, but not before giving Sammy a big thumbs up. Maybe it was supposed to make him feel better.

Sammy sighed and trudged along, stubbing his toe on a loose pebble and causing a wave of pain to travel up his leg. "Ow." This really wasn't his day.

A food stand caught his attention on the street where the strange cloaked person had told Sammy that Noelle had turned to. There was a familiar figure standing behind the stall. It was the girl that stole Tavvy's bandana!

Noelle's eyes widened as she saw Sammy. She quickly pulled out a 'closed' sign and ducked behind the neighboring stall, disappearing into the crowds. Sammy growled and put up chase, pushing people aside as he pursued his target.

It wasn't long before he spotted Noelle. She was backing away from something. Or someone.

"Hey, I'm really sorry for bumping into you," she was saying. "I…I'm really clumsy and…and I'm an orphan and all…"

"Kanser doesn't care for excuses! You made Kanser spill his special spicy ginger milk with diced strawberries! Kanser will make you PAY!"

Sammy almost cried. The stranger confronting Noelle had snatched the bandana from her and had it crumpled in his clenched fist. Sammy decided to turn this chase into a rescue mission.

"GIVE BACK THAT BANDANA, YOU…uh…crab?"

* * *

><p>Sammy has a chance encounter with a bug! Yay! He also meets Noelle Tears, who is the creation of Arashi-Storm-Guardian! Who is this Kanser fellow? And he's a...crab? Yeah, believe it.<p>

Next chapter: Tavvy goes in search for his new friend, Trafalgar Bailey! What will he discover about Bailey's past? Keep reading and find out! And stay cool, y'all! :D


	4. Tavvy wants his jacket customized

~Tavvy~

"Hey, have you seen a guy named Bailey around here? He's wearing some really dirty clothes and has a whole ton of rings on his fingers."

"Nope. Sorry."

Tavvy tugged at his hair. "Argh! Where's Bailey?" he shouted in frustration. He had searched everywhere since the crack of dawn! The inn, the shops, town hall, even the jail. But Bailey wasn't anywhere to be found. Maybe he was kidnapped. Oh, no! Bailey was kidnapped!

Tavvy spotted a shady-looking person near the docks. He looked like the type who would kidnap innocent people. Tavvy ran towards him.

"Where's Bailey, you bastard?" Tavvy demanded, raising his fist in a threatening manner.

The man, who really had nothing to do with Bailey's disappearance, was quite shocked. "B-Bailey? Who's Bailey?"

"Don't act dumb! Spit it out! Where is he?"

"What are you talking about? I don't know who Bailey is! Go play with your friends somewhere."

"Bailey is my friend! Give him back!"

"I don't know who Bailey is! Leave me alone, kid!"

Tavvy glared. This person was too suspicious! He was definitely the one who kidnapped Bailey. And he wouldn't even admit it! He should be ashamed.

Just when Tavvy was about to continue his shouting, a figure leaning against the hull of a large ship spoke up. "Leave him alone, kid. Your friend wasn't abducted."

Tavvy whirled around. The stranger was a tall man in his late twenties to early thirties. He had silvery white hair, flecked with black, which stuck up in jagged spikes from his head. But the first thing that Tavvy noticed about the stranger was his eyes. They were like frozen pools of clear water, piercing through the early morning.

"How do you know?" Tavvy growled. He then noticed the jacket of the stranger. White with dark blue, fur trimming and a very familiar symbol on the left side, chest pocket. The symbol of the Marines.

The stranger pointed in the direction of some sparse trees. "Your friend went that way by his own free will. Now leave that poor man alone."

But Tavvy was now more interested in the jacket than Bailey at the moment. "Whoa. Are you a Marine, mister?"

"Yeah."

Tavvy stared in awe at the stranger. "That's so cool! What rank do you need to get to before you can get a jacket like that?" he asked. He really wanted that jacket. Then, it occurred to him to ask a very important question. A question that would determine if he really did want to join the Marines. A question that would determine his entire destiny. "Is it warm?"

The Marine looked down at what he was wearing. Sure enough, he was wearing his Marines jacket. He hadn't meant to put it on. You see, he had woken up far too early and had been immediately assigned to thwart the evildoings of Timily Rocce and his henchmen, so he hadn't paid much attention to his attire. It took him almost two days, without resting, to reach the other side of the island. But when he had arrived, lo and behold, Timily Rocce was already behind bars as well as his bodyguards. The locals claimed that it was a boy who had done them in. A boy with white hair and a red bandana tied around his arm.

"Yeah. It's warm," answered the stranger, rather awkwardly.

"Can I have it?"

"Hell no."

Tavvy pouted, but then remembered that he would have to earn such a wonderful prize. If he wasn't good enough, then he didn't deserve that jacket. The stranger noticed Tavvy standing a little straighter.

"Weren't you looking for your friend?" the Marine prompted. All he had been trying to do was prevent the teenager from beating up an innocent man (who had already fled the scene) and disturbing the peace. Now, the boy seemed to be immersed in a daydream.

"Haha! I will become the ultimate Marine! And I will have my jacket CUSTOMIZED!"

The Marine sighed. Not many people were crazy enough to join the Marines for a jacket, even if it was _extremely_ comfortable. He knew only one other person like that. Maybe they were related.

"Your friend," the Marine tried again. This time, Tavvy snapped back to reality with a jolt. He blinked a few times at the Marine, then seemed to finally comprehend his words.

"Oh, yeah. Thanks mister!" Tavvy pranced away in the opposite direction of where the Marine was pointing. The Marine sighed as Tavvy came back around, laughed sheepishly, then sped off in the correct direction.

"What an idiot," the Marine muttered. But this Marine had excellent observation skills. That boy had an incredible aura around him that only those with the right experience could recognize as amazing. What's more, he had white hair and a red bandana securely tied to his upper arm…

~with Bailey~

Bailey felt a bit guilty. As well as that bowl of ramen, he had bought a pack of six popsicles, a small bag of hard candy, and some dried apricots, all with Tavvy's money. He doubted Tavvy would really care, but that didn't prevent his guilty conscience from nagging at his mind. Also, he couldn't forgive himself for leaving Tavvy all alone. That guy was probably looking for him right now. But it would be pointless.

"BAILEY! BAILEY, ARE YOU THERE?"

Bailey chuckled. Wow. He was even imagining Tavvy's voice. Then, he heard footsteps. Tavvy jumped in front of him with his hands on his hips.

"There you are!"

Shocked, Bailey spit out the apricot he had been snacking on.

"I've been looking everywhere for you! I even thought you might be in jail!" shouted Tavvy. When Bailey made no inclination to move, Tavvy scowled and grabbed his companion's hand. "Come on! You've already wasted the whole morning!"

But Bailey pulled free of Tavvy's grasp. "Not so fast there."

Tavvy looked at him, confused. "What? We're gonna go to the other side of the island and sign up for the Marines there…right?"

The coldness in Bailey's emerald green eyes took Tavvy by surprise. They were still glinting with mischief, but in a more malicious way.

"Man, you really are a gullible idiot," said Bailey. He began twisting the rings on his fingers, one by one. A small smile played on his lips. "I only said I'd go with you 'cause of the food. It's not like I was seriously going to sign up with the Marines."

"But…" began Tavvy, though he stopped without any momentum to continue. There was no real reason for Bailey to join the Marines, was there?

Bailey tugged off all of the rings on his left hand fingers. "Well, it was nice meeting you, Tavvy. Bye." He turned and walked away. Tavvy held still for one second, two seconds, three seconds. On the fourth second, Tavvy leapt towards Bailey, slamming his fists downwards. Bailey barely dodged.

There was a giant hole in the ground where Tavvy had hit. A pillar of dirt had shot up, falling back to the earth with a dull thud. "You're a horrible friend!" Tavvy shouted furiously, a fine layer of dirt dusting his entire person. "Sammy wouldn't just leave me all alone like that!"

Bailey spit out a mouthful of dirt. He remembered Tavvy mentioning Sammy before. They were best friends, but had split to go on opposite destinies. "I'm not your friend. I'm just Trafalgar Bailey, a Supernova's grandson."

Tavvy stood. "Don't say that! You're not _just_ Trafalgar Bailey," he said. "You…you're…"

Bailey was quite surprised by the sincerity in Tavvy's voice. He had thought that he might have underestimated Tavvy. Maybe he wasn't some huge idiot after all. It was quite touching. Well, that was until Tavvy finished his sentence.

"You…YOU'RE ALSO A GODDAMMED CROOK!" Tavvy finally managed. "I COULD'VE BOUGHT A WHOLE BUNCH OF STUFF WITH THE MONEY YOU SPENT!"

Let's just say that Bailey was taken aback.

"I MEAN, IVAN-SAMA WORKED SO HARD TO GET THAT MONEY SO THAT I COULD BUY SOME REALLY COOL STUFF AND YOU JUST HAD TO GO AND SPEND IT!"

*Bailey in state of shock*

"AND MARIA-SAN TAUGHT ME TO NEVER SPEND MONEY RECKLESSLY, SO OBVIOUSLY YOU NEVER HAD A MARIA-SAN IN YOUR LIFE!"

*Bailey still in state of shock*

"MONEY IS A PRECIOUS THING!"

Bailey finally snapped out of his trance. "I-I thought you had a bit more of a brain than that!" he spluttered.

Tavvy sniffed, offended. "Well I'm not a genius, you know!" he said indignantly, shaking the dirt from his hair.

"That's an understatement," Bailey muttered under his breath.

"Anyways," continued Tavvy, "I'm still going to be taking you with me. You owe me three hundred and sixty seven beli!" He looked ready to fight. The air seemed to ripple around him. "Ivan-sama said that it's never good to be in debt."

Bailey growled in frustration. Why did Tavvy have to be so dumb? This was beyond irritating. "How many times do I have to tell you? I'm not going to join the Marines!" he shouted.

"Why not?" Tavvy challenged. "The Marines are the keepers of Justice! Plus, I hear the pay isn't that bad either."

Bailey sighed exasperatedly. "It's not about money. I already told you. The Marines won't even allow me past the front gate. I have pirate blood!"

Tavvy's eyes widened in surprise. "Whoa! You mean, you need a certain type of blood to become a pirate?" he asked. "I didn't know that!"

At first, Bailey wanted to punch him in the face for being so stupid, but then, he found it rather funny. Really funny. He laughed. And of course, Tavvy was utterly confused. Wasn't Bailey supposed to be mad? Maybe it was something he said.

Bailey grinned. "Man, you're hilarious!"

"Does that mean you're going to sign up for the Marines with me?"

"No."

Tavvy pouted. "What's going to convince you to come with me?" he asked, crossing his arms stubbornly.

Bailey thought for a moment. "Maybe if you can beat me in a fight, I'll go with you," he said, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards. "Maybe." He unfurled his hand in which he held his rings and they fell down on by one. What was intriguing was that the rings were all connected by two thin wires that were visible only when they caught the sun's morning rays. Bailey spun his string of rings around experimentally.

Tavvy smiled. He loved a good fight. He placed his arm straight in front of him, then bent it by the elbow so it was parallel to his chest. "Bring it!"

Bailey made no inclination to attack first, but neither did Tavvy. Finally, after an unbearable amount of time, Bailey made his move. He swung his line of rings at Tavvy. The ring at the end was quite heavy and slammed into the side of his head. But the most painful part was the electric shock that came with the impact. Tavvy wasn't very compatible with electricity. He yelled out in pain.

"What the heck is that?" he shouted, stepping back to avoid another swing.

"My weapon," Bailey answered. Stepping forwards, he swung again. It wrapped around Tavvy's arm, sending a constant electrical shock through his body. Tavvy tried to unwind it, but just ended up badly hurting his hand.

Bailey yanked on the wire. It unraveled, slicing through Tavvy's skin as it did. Tavvy bit back from crying out and jumped backwards, out of the range of Tavvy's weapon.

Tavvy pushed his uninjured hand in Bailey's direction. The movement was slow, as if he were pushing something very heavy. "**Manchou**."

At first, it didn't seem like anything happened. Then, Bailey felt a huge force creeping towards him. It was probably the same kind of attack Tavvy had used to defeat those bodyguards in kilts. But how could it be stopped?

Without any other option, Bailey put up his arms just as the force was about to hit him. He heard a crackling sound and realized that while he was unharmed, Tavvy was sent tumbling backwards, electricity arcing around him.

"How did you do that?" Tavvy demanded, jumping back to his feet painfully. "Not even Sammy can avoid that one!"

Bailey thought for a moment. He still couldn't quite figure out how Tavvy fought. Tavvy didn't use any weapons. Maybe he used a Devil Fruit. That would make a whole lot of sense.

"I'll tell you if you tell me your fighting style," said Bailey.

"Huh? That's it?" Tavvy scratched his head and thought. "Let's see. Well, me, Sammy, and another friend met this weird, old guy who told us that we were all gifted with something called Reikonshoku Haki and he taught us how to control it and all. That's it. Now, spill it out! How did you block my attack and shock me at the same time?"

Bailey had never heard of Reikonshoku Haki before. As far as he knew, there were only three types of Haki. "I have no idea why your attack didn't work. Maybe your Haki's not working today."

"But it always works!" hissed Tavvy. Then, he had a sudden spark of genius. "Oh! That's why!" Tavvy rounded on Bailey. He charged straight at him. Bailey whipped his weapon at him, but it just glanced harmlessly off Tavvy's shoulder with a small spark.

Tavvy swung his fist into Bailey's face, hitting him in the jaw. Bailey stumbled backwards, but Tavvy grabbed his shirt, yanking him forwards. He then punched Bailey right in the gut, sending him flying through the air. Bailey crashed into a small tree. He managed to get up and wiped a trickle of blood from the corner of his mouth.

"I figured it out!" Tavvy exclaimed, beaming. "The wire conducts electricity which comes from that battery in your hand and the rings act as outlets! Wow, I had no idea Ivan-sama's lecture on physics would be so useful in life."

Bailey spit. "But it should have shocked you. That time, you didn't even flinch!"

Tavvy grinned from ear to ear. "That's the best part! I changed my fighting spirit! Before, I used the soul of water. Just then, I used the soul of the ground. That's what Reikonshoku Haki is all about…or at least, that's what the old man said." He held out his hand to Bailey. "I win, so you have to sign up for the Marines."

"I refuse!" Bailey shouted. "You don't understand anything!"

-=Flashback=-

A ten-year-old Bailey sits on a swing set all alone. He looks up to see some kids come over and confront him.

"Hey, Trafalgar!" one shouts. "I hear someone stole ten of the cook's finest pies yesterday! It was you, wasn't it?"

Bailey shakes his head. "No. I wasn't anywhere near the bakery yesterday."

The kids start to murmur to each other. Bailey can pick out a few words. Liar. Thief. Pirate.

Bailey tries to ignore them, but another kid calls out. "We know you stole them, pirate kid! Pirate kid! Pirate kid!" Soon all the kids are shouting 'pirate kid!' at the tops of their lungs. Bailey's fists clench. He starts to tremble with fury.

"I'M NOT A PIRATE!" he roars, punching a kid in the face. Someone screams. The group of children surrounds Bailey, but Bailey punches and kicks his way out. A nearby adult calls for some Marines. In moments, Bailey is handcuffed and taken to the local prison.

His father comes to get him later that day. He has a sad look in his eyes. All he will say is, "I'm sorry, Bailey." He hugs Bailey close, but only for a few seconds.

As the two walk through town, the locals cast menacing looks their way. They whisper amongst themselves.

"Look, it's Trafalgar Law's son and grandson."

"I can't believe we're letting them stay at this village."

"They disturb the peace."

"They have to go."

As promised, that night, an angry mob attacks the Trafalgars' home. One tries to hurt Bailey. His father comes between them and someone shoots him in the chest.

"DAD!" Bailey screams. He falls to his knees, crying. But his father is already dead. Next, they kill Bailey's mother, who tried to protect Bailey as well. He was the only child. And now, he was alone. Alone with a hoard of people who wanted to kill him. All Bailey can do is hide in a cupboard and hope they don't find him.

And then, he hears something out of place amidst the chaos. A whistle. Strong voices. They command the crowd to disperse. Bailey peeks out of the cupboard. It's the Marines. They have many of the villagers in handcuffs. They cover Bailey's parents with black cloth and carry them outside. Keepers of Justice who carry the sign of the flying seagull as their flag. They save Bailey's life.

Bailey wants to thank them. He wants to be held in someone's arms. He catches the eye of a Marine. The man walks over…and slaps Bailey across the face.

"It's because of your stupid pirate blood," he says, then walks away. "Run away, kid."

And Bailey runs, fresh tears in his eyes. He looks back to see the Marines burning the cloth-covered bodies of his parents. He vows to become a keeper of Justice, the knight of the people, all people. But then he realizes it is impossible. He has pirate blood. There's no way he can be a Marine. It really is impossible…

-=Present=-

"You know, you're just big idiot," Tavvy said bluntly, completely ruining the atmosphere. He ignored Bailey's look of disbelief and placed his hands on his hips. "It don't matter who the keeper of Justice is, as long as the keeper of Justice does his or her job so that the world is balanced."

"Just try telling that to the world!" Bailey shouted. "_You're_ the idiot here!"

Tavvy dismissed the comment with a wave of his hand. "I'll prove it to you. You come with me to the Marine Base. If they don't let you in after I do some talking, then you can go and do whatever you want. But if they let you in, you have to become an awesome Marine and my sidekick."

"Sidekick?" Bailey said quizzically. He thought for a moment. "It's a deal if you cut the sidekick part."

Tavvy grinned. "Alright! Geez, that took a long time. I'm hungry. Let's get some good grub before we head off."

Bailey couldn't help but chuckle as the two of them sauntered off into the city, spending the rest of Tavvy's money on food.

* * *

><p>Enough of my complaining. In this chapter, we discovered the secret behind Tavvy's attacks: a new type of Haki! Reikon is romaji for soul, or spirit. So Reikonshoku Haki would be Haki of the Color of the Soul. Something like that. Also, we found out about Bailey's horrible past and how Tavvy isn't good at reading the mood of situations.<p>

Next chapter, Sammy battles a crab(?)! And he's hungry! _And_, Tavvy's bandana's well being is on the line! WHAT WILL SAMMY DO? Stay tuned to find out!


	5. Sammy meets another rival

~Sammy~

"GIVE BACK THAT BANDANA, YOU…uh…crab?"

Well, it wasn't really a crab. The person just had the overall look of a crab. Bulging eyes, flat head, and greenish brown-tinged skin. That was enough for Sammy.

"Who are you?" asked the crab-person, his voice low and raspy. To Sammy, it seemed that the crab-person was having an awfully hard time breathing. His hair was just a dense fuzz on top of his head. And he obviously had acne problems. There was a pimple for every square centimeter of his skin. Sammy stared. He had never seen someone like this before.

But Sammy knew his manners. He bowed and introduced himself. "My name is Sammy! I'm gonna become the next pirate king! Nice to meet you!" he said, sticking out his hand. "Oh, and I'd really appreciate it if you gave me back that bandana. It's _really_ important."

The crab-person blinked a few times. His eyes were shiny and pure black, so it was hard to tell what he was thinking. "Did you just say you were going to become the pirate king?" he asked.

"Yes, that's what I said," said Sammy, rather impatiently. "Now, can you please give me that bandana?"

"No."

"WHY?"

The crab-person cleared his throat noisily. "Number one, Kanser is still angry about that girl spilling his spicy ginger milk with diced strawberries," he said, pointing to Noelle, who had been trying to sneak away. She froze. "And number two, only one person is going to become the next pirate king, and that will be _Kanser's_ captain!"

Sammy couldn't have cared less about the spicy ginger milk with diced strawberries, but someone denying his dream? Unacceptable.

"I don't care who your freakin' captain is, but the one who will become pirate king is ME!" shouted Sammy. "You know what? Just for that, I'm gonna beat you up!"

"Kanser would like to see you try!"

Sammy leapt into the air, his leg outstretched. He brought it down onto Kanser's head with all his might. Two problems: (1) Sammy's ankle still hurt and (2) the crab-person's head was harder than rock. Kanser didn't feel a thing, but Sammy cried out in pain.

"YOWZA!" shouted Sammy, managing to land correctly despite his ankle. He wasn't sure how he came up with that word, but his foot hurt like hell. "You must be really dumb to have a skull that thick!"

That did it. "Kanser isn't dumb! For insulting Kanser, you will PAY!"

Kanser lunged at Sammy with pure killing intent. Sammy jumped away just as Kanser plunged his hands, somehow now crab claws, into the ground where he had been standing moments before. The claws punched right through the asphalt as though it were packing foam.

"That's freaky!" Sammy exclaimed. "You look even more like a crab now!"

A vein popped on Kanser's forehead. "Of course Kanser looks more like a crab! Kanser ate the Kani Kani no Mi! That's normal for people like him!" he shouted.

Sammy scratched his head. Then, realization dawned in his eyes. "I think I get it. You ate something and you got so sick that you changed into a crab!" Sammy shook his head in disappointment. "You really shouldn't eat strange things. See? You've gone and turned yourself into a crab. This is a good lesson for you."

*Crickets chirp*

"KANSER IS FURIOUS! HOW CAN SOMEONE MAKE FUN OF KANSER LIKE THAT?" Once again, Kanser charged at Sammy. This time, Sammy was ready.

He licked his lips hungrily. Drool trickled from the corner of his mouth. "Did you know? Since seafood rots so fast, they cook crabs…ALIVE?" Sammy reached out and seemed to turn an invisible knob. "**Futtou**!"

An unbelievable pressure fell upon the attacker. A tremendous heat wave. Even Noelle felt it, though she was quite the distance away now. Kanser collapsed.

Sammy sighed. "The soul of heat is sometime really hard to control. I might accidentally kill someone like this." He thought for a moment. "But then again, you denied my dream." Sammy's eyes flared and the heat intensified. People on the other side of town began to fall from heat stroke.

And then, a soothing wind rippled through the crowded city. Sammy's heat was pushed back until it all compressed upon him. Sammy dismissed the heat with a single wave of his hand. He enjoyed it, but he actually had limits.

"I didn't really think I'd meet another Reikonshoku Haki user in such an ordinary place," said a voice.

Sammy slowly turned around. There was a boy, at his same age, walking towards him. He had a mop of messy, auburn hair that fell over his eyes. He dressed in a light blue kimono with pink and green flowers. With every step he took, the pair of red-strapped geta on his feet clacked noisily on the ground.

Sammy smiled, his eyes glittering. "Wow. You're good. I was wondering when you'd show up."

The auburn-haired boy laughed. He had his arms within the sleeves of his kimono, but Sammy noticed a slight shifting within. He jumped aside to avoid a flying projectile of sorts. Though Sammy hadn't seen the boy actually throw something, he was sure it had come from his direction.

"Nice dodge," the stranger commented. He cast his gaze over to Kanser, who had been knocked unconscious. He lay on the ground, much like a crab. "Ah, there he is. Oh my, the crew keeps running off and getting lost. First Pysces, then Tauris, and now Kanser." He tut-tutted, shaking his head.

"You're his captain, right?" Sammy asked, pointing to the unconscious crab-person. He limped over and took back Tavvy's bandana. "Ha! No wonder you think you can be the pirate king."

The stranger nodded. "You are also strong, though you need to pay more attention to your anger levels." He chuckled. "Someone might have died."

"I got careless," said Sammy, grinning. "What's your name? That's what I want to know."

"Sasoriza D. Skorpio. Yours?"

"Sammy."

Skorpio wasn't satisfied. "Come now. I told you my full name, so how about yours?"

Sammy hesitated. "Fine. It's…Joker D. Samuel."

Skorpio's mouth fell open. It looked weird, since you couldn't see his eyes, but he was obviously shocked. "Joker…you can't possibly be _his_ son, can you?"

Sammy shrugged. "I don't care. I'm gonna become pirate king. It doesn't matter who my dad is."

Skorpio kept his mouth open for some time before closing it. He gave a small, but knowing smile. "I see. Well then, I expect I'll see you soon. With the same middle initial, I'm sure it won't be too long." With that, he waved his hand and a strong breeze lifted Kanser's limp body into the air. Skorpio walked off, whistling, with the crab's floating body close behind.

When the odd pair disappeared from sight, Sammy growled in frustration. "Goddamnit! I'M HUNGRY! WHY COULDN'T THAT SKORPIO GUY BRING ANY FOOD IF HE WAS GOING TO HAVE A CONVERSATION LIKE THAT?" He then noticed Noelle staring at him as if she was about to call in the psych ward. "What? It's not like you would share either!"

"You call that a conversation?" screeched Noelle. "I couldn't tell if you guys were going to rip each other apart or hug each other!"

"HUG? WHY WOULD WE HUG?"

"HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?"

~three hours later~

"Why am I treating you to lunch again?" asked Noelle. She seemed to have one of those realization moments people often get when they ask themselves what they are doing.

"Because I'm hungry," answered Sammy. "This is really good, by the way."

"Thanks. I made it myself."

Sammy reconsidered. "Never mind. It isn't good."

"Why?"

"Because you made it."

"THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!"

They were sitting at Noelle's little food stand. Sammy had somehow lost all of his money. That didn't make a certain someone happy at all.

"You are really annoying," growled Noelle.

Sammy swallowed before speaking. "Is that supposed to be an insult?"

"Yes. Obviously."

Sammy took a bite of meat. "Well, it's kinda hard to tell since Maria-san always called me and Tavvy a whole bunch weird of stuff, so I'm not sure if anything is an insult or a compliment."

"I'd love to meet her," Noelle said sarcastically.

Sammy choked on something. He coughed a few times, managing to wheeze out, "No! She will…slice you up with…one of her knives…and cook you over…hellfire! She's…the worst she-demon…that ever existed! You can't meet her!"

Noelle couldn't think of anything to say to that. In fact, she was sure no one could.

Sammy continued to eat. Noelle's thoughts wandered to the battle she had witnessed. This idiotic and gluttonous boy had some amazing powers. And that other boy with the kimono…that conversation between the two was very strange. Reikonshoku Haki? Joker? What did it all mean?

"Hey, uh, Sammy. Back then with the guy in the kimono, it was almost as if you were expecting him."

Sammy looked up from his food. "Yup. I could 'see' him ever since I entered the city. He has a very unique presence."

"What do you mean, you could 'see' him?" Noelle asked.

"Well, normal humans have _really_ bad eyesight. Animals are a lot better, but they're still not good enough. In order to get the perfect 'sight', you gotta have the 'soul' of 'sight'. You have to have that sorta sight in order to see things that you can't see with human sight," Sammy explained through his stuffed mouth. "There is a 'soul' for each of the five senses, but they're really hard to control, so you've gotta be really focused to master one…at least, that's what that old man said. I think. Well, he talked so much that I fell asleep while he was explaining things, so I'm not sure."

While Noelle tried to make some sense of his words, Sammy had eaten more and more. Once he was finished, he looked around. "Hey. Where did that midget girl go?"

Noelle was, in fact, hidden behind the stack of bowls that had contained Sammy's lunch. Upon hearing the word 'midget', she snapped out of her thoughts and punched through the barrier of bowls, fury burning in her scarlet eyes.

"What did you just call me?" she demanded furiously, grabbing Sammy by his shirt.

Sammy paused. "Uh…midget?"

"THAT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION!"

"Uh...sorry?"

"SORRY DOESN'T CUT IT!"

"HELP! SOME CRAZY, MIDGET GIRL IS TRYING TO KILL ME WITH A KITCHEN KNIFE!"

"STOP CALLING ME THAT!"

"HEEEELP!"

~at the city's harbor~

Skorpio walked onto the dock. There was no ship there. There was no ship anywhere. He blinked.

"WHERE IS MY SHIP?" he howled, looking around frantically. To the left: nothing. To the right: a seagull, but no ship. Skorpio hated seagulls. They pooped everywhere and stole your food.

"Huh? Kanser's head hurts," muttered Kanser, regaining his consciousness.

But Skorpio had more pressing matters to attend to. Sure, he was worried about Kanser's condition, but his ship was more important. Why? Because on that ship was all of the candy one could buy with ten million beli. TEN MILLION BELI.

"My ship!" moaned Skorpio, falling to his hands and knees and pounding on the dock with his fists. "My candy!"

Kanser patted his captain on the back with as much sympathy as he could muster. "It's okay, Skorp. Kanser will find the ship."

"Thank you Kanser," Skorpio murmured, sniffling. "You…you truly are a kind person." A tear rolled down the side of his cheek. "But…ALL THAT CANDY!" He burst into sobbing mess.

Kanser looked away, rolling his eyes. There was only so much respect he could give to a captain of this nature.

A large, burly man walked over to the dock. His clothing was all black and he wore a skullcap. "Say, are you the owner of the ship that was moored here earlier?" he asked in a gruff voice.

Skorpio was in no mood to reply, so Kanser answered. "Yes."

The man smiled. "I know where it is."

"REALLY?" Skorpio asked, looking up.

"Yes," said the man, "But you'll have to pay for the information."

Skorpio's gaze darkened. "Ah, I see. You stole my ship…took it to a nearby island…hnn, the rest of the crew was fast asleep…" Skorpio's fists clenched. "You even ate some of my candy."

The stranger was quite taken aback. "H-how did you figure that out?" he asked, his eyes wide.

"I could feel it in your words. My sense of touch can feel anything as long as I focus hard enough," was Skorpio's reply. His mouth twisted into a grotesque smile. "I can't forgive you…I'll make you suffer for eating my candy."

Before the man could react to his words, he suddenly felt himself go numb. All he could feel was a freezing sensation that seemed to spread from his chest. He fell down, gasping for air. The last thing he saw before slipping into unconsciousness were the eyes of the teenager. They were a clear and beautiful blue that was colder than ice.

Skorpio laughed. "Come, Kanser! We must retrieve our ship." He noticed another incoming ship. It was large and filled with passengers, so it was probably a party ship. He stepped back, took a few running strides, then jumped, sailing through the air and landing gracefully on the deck. Kanser followed, though not as elegantly.

People screamed and aimed weapons at the two, but all Skorpio did was smile. "This ship is under attack!" he shouted gleefully. "Remember me well, citizens of this glorious world! I am Sasoriza D. Skorpio, captain of the Constellar Pirates!"

* * *

><p>Righto. Sammy meets a fellow pirate who is also a Reikonshoku Haki user! And a new branch Reikonshoku Haki is explained. Just for clarification, the 'souls' of the senses require an extreme amount of power to use, so in Sammy's case, he isn't strong enough to use his soul of sight often, though when he arrives in a new place, he can focus and scan his surroundings for good restaurants.<p>

Skorpio is all mine, as is Kanser and anyone new mentioned in this chapter and yes, they are named after constellations. Skorpio and his crew won't be appearing again until the next arc or the one after,

In the next chapter, Tavvy and Bailey arrive at the Marines' 17th branch! But they somehow make someone angry, land in debt, and well, things don't go too smoothly. Good luck to them. Thanks for reading and enjoy the cooler weather!


	6. Tavvy and Bailey land in debt

~Tavvy~

Tavvy and Bailey were scaling a large sand dune. Thankfully, it was the last one they'd have to climb for a very long time. They slipped and slid, but finally made it to the top. Their reward was a grand view of the Marine Base and the surrounding city, though still many miles away. But after the treacherous journey, neither of them thought much of it. You see, when Tavvy had asked the mayor of the previous town about the Marine Base, the mayor had neglected to tell Tavvy that the distance between the two cities was a huge expanse of desert.

Now, an ordinary desert would have been bad enough, but this was no ordinary desert. During the day, it was extremely hot and all exposed water would evaporate. However, during the night, the desert would change drastically and all it would do was rain and rain and rain, transforming the sand into thick mud and completely dropping the definition of desert. Then, when morning came around again, the mud would dry and crumble into sand.

Bailey and Tavvy weren't too happy through the journey, as you can very well imagine.

"We *huff* finally *huff* made it!" gasped Bailey, panting heavily. Tavvy came up beside him, coughing. Both of them were covered in a thick layer of sand. It had managed to get into every nook and cranny. No need to get into details here.

"Why didn't someone tell us that we had to cross a freaking desert to get to the other side!" shouted Tavvy. He shook his head, flinging sand everywhere. Unfortunately for Bailey, most of that sand found its way into his eyes.

"Stop that! You're blinding me!" shrieked Bailey, blinking ferociously to get the sand out of his eyes. He took an involuntary step forwards, tripped on a rock, and fell flat on his face. "I'm okay," he said in a muffled groan.

Tavvy laughed, tripped on the same rock, and fell down, landing right next to Bailey. "Ow."

They both tried to get up at the same time, but managed to bump into each other and sent themselves both rolling down the sand dune, coming to a stop only when they reached the very bottom. Neither of them made to get up this time. They were too exhausted.

"Okay, I have a plan," began Bailey, his face still in the ground. "First, you get up to your knees. Then, help me to my knees. After that, you use me as support to get to your feet, and then help me to my feet, got it?"

"No," was Tavvy's irritated reply. "I got lost somewhere with your knees…or were they my knees? Urgh, I forgot."

Bailey explained his plan again. They tried initiating it, but Tavvy got confused as to whether he was supposed to get Bailey to his knees or hands. After a good half an hour, they were still on the ground.

"This dirt is starting to taste really bad," muttered Bailey. "I seem to be getting a lot of this stuff in my mouth lately."

All Tavvy could says was, "Food," but even that was just a pathetic whimper.

They spent another half an hour just lying there. Finally, with an amazing burst of strength, Tavvy rose to his feet. Bailey cheered, only to sigh as Tavvy fell back down. There didn't seem to be any chance of getting up until they heard the quiet whirring of an engine. Bailey managed to lift his head just enough to see a nearing cloud of dust. Within that cloud was a solitary man riding on a motorcycle of sorts. He couldn't be sure, but Bailey thought that maybe the man was wearing a Marines jacket. His face was obscured by the whirling sand and a pair of mirrored goggles.

Bailey would have waved to the stranger, but alas, he was nearly paralyzed. His finger twitched, though. That was good…right?

The motorcycle sped right past where the two were stranded. They both coughed and choked on the dust.

"Great," murmured Bailey. "He's gone."

But miraculously, the driver had managed to see the two teens in his mirror or something, for he turned around and came back.

"You two need a lift?" came his voice. Tavvy had heard that voice before. The same kind of feeling that he had gotten when he had heard it the first time came rolling back. Power. Kindness. Those were only two amongst the many good qualities he could hear in that voice.

The stranger lifted the goggles from his eyes. Once he saw Tavvy, he couldn't help but chuckle. "Oh, it's you. You weren't joking about becoming a Marine. Even went through that desert when you could've just used the river." The last sentence was uttered quietly to himself.

"Whoa! Fancy meeting you here, Mr. Marine from that time!" exclaimed Tavvy, life returning to his limbs as he sat up. "And what do you mean? What river?"

The Marine jerked his thumb backwards. "There's a river that cuts through the desert at a diagonal. They let people onto a ship for free to get to the other side of the island, though a prefer my bike." He dismounted said bike. "The name is Tundra by the way," he added.

"Damn it, Tavvy! You never told me there was a river!" Bailey hissed furiously.

"I didn't know there was a river! The mayor guy said that it was, like, three days on foot, so I thought that was the only way!"

"You're a huge idiot!"

"Well, you're-" Tavvy broke off when both he and Bailey were suddenly hoisted up into the air by the Marine.

"Settle down you two," he said, trying to sound stern, though the amusement in his voice bled through. He set them down on the back of his motorcycle, jumped into his seat, adjusted his goggles over his eyes, then started the engine.

"HOLD ON!" screamed Bailey, but they were already off, accelerating to over ninety miles (about 144 kilometers) per hour in just four seconds.

"THAT'S A GOOD IDEA!" Tundra shouted back over the whipping wind. His hair flipped around wildly and he was clearly enjoying the speed. His two passengers, however, were completely and utterly terrified, hanging onto the back of the bike for dear life. Bailey screamed, but then shut his mouth when the sand started to clog his throat. Tavvy looked oddly pale and sickly, but he held on tight nevertheless. They both had their eyes screwed shut.

It must have looked very strange indeed: a motorcycle zooming across the sand with two teenagers flapping behind like flags in the wind (no doubt in our world, the video would have been uploaded to YouTube and Facebook in three seconds flat).

The all too kind Marine was somewhat absent-minded and carefree, though not in a truly dumb kind of way. He would frequently glance into one of his side mirrors, wonder why there were two kids hanging onto the back of his bike, remember why with a slight smile, and then return his attention to what was in front of him. Apparently, the locals of the city were quite used to strange things such as Tundra, for when he entered through the grand gates, the guards merely nodded at the Marine, his bike, and the two other passengers, and they were allowed through.

Once they were in the city, their speed was dramatically restricted, allowing Tavvy and Bailey to scramble into a sitting position on the ledge built into the back of the motorbike. They sighed with relief as they were able to rest their burning arms and dust the sand off of themselves. Tundra had also lifted his goggles and seemed to searching for something, scanning his eyes across the endless line of buildings.

"Where are we going?" Bailey asked the Marine.

Tundra shrugged as he parked the bike near an abandoned shop. He turned to them. "IDK. I guess I could drop you guys off at a hotel or something. There's this one place I'm familiar with, but I kinda forgot…" he trailed off, squinting at something. "Well, I'm sure guys can find it (not really), but it's called Fairwood Castle. Just tell the lady in charge that I sent you."

Tavvy hopped off and stretched. "Thanks Mr. T-T-Tun…something. For the ride and all!" He sprinted off into the crowd.

"That idiot! He's going to get lost!" Bailey spat, furiously running after his friend.

Tundra just cast a vacant look after them and started his bike, steering it towards the center of the city where the 17th Branch Marine Base sat in all its glory.

"WAIT, YOU DAMNED IDIOT!" howled Bailey, running as fast as he could after Tavvy. He couldn't believe it! Just a while ago, Tavvy had been nearly dead and now, he was running around like he had just been born yesterday!

He cursed Tavvy silently. Why had he agreed to that stupid deal? It wasn't that he didn't want to join the Marines. The problem was that he didn't want to join the Marines with some huge dumbass like Tavvy. Powerful, but dumber than a rock.

Bailey jerked out of his thoughts as he heard loud voices up ahead. There was a slight uneasiness in his stomach. He had a really bad feeling about this.

"It's bad enough that you bumped into me!" roared a loud, whiney voice. "But you also didn't apologize! How despicable!"

A crowd had begun to gather around two figures. One was, of course, Tavvy. He stood there with a slightly confused expression and blinked a few times at the person opposing him. That man sneered at Tavvy, exposing his look of utmost contempt. A strand of his oily black hair fell into his eyes and he brushed it away graciously, which produced a few sighs from random women in the crowd.

"I did say sorry," said Tavvy."Maria-san said to always apologize for the simplest things you do wrong, otherwise extremely arrogant people will try and make a huge deal out of it, like right now."

It took a while for his words to sink in, but when they did, the crowd laughed. It was certainly a very witty thing to say, even though it might not have been intentional for Tavvy, but it was definitely not a good thing to say.

The stranger laughed haughtily. He was quite handsome, his murky green eyes matching with his moss green suit. His tie was bright red and hung loose around his neck. The man looked to be around thirty, though some over-enthusiasts would say he looked more to be twenty five.

"Well, look who thinks he's brave!" he spat. "And not from around here, I see. If you knew who I was, then you wouldn't be saying things like that to my face!"

Tavvy stifled a yawn. He wasn't bored or anything, just tired from the journey across the desert, but the man seemed to interpret it differently. His face flushed as he pointed to Tavvy, enraged.

"I am Lieutenant Greneland of the Marines! You are under arrest for disturbing my_—_er_—_the public's peace!" he screeched. "Get him!" he shouted to some people behind him.

Bailey finally reached Tavvy and stepped up to his side. "Hey, dude, look behind you," he told his friend.

Tavvy yawned again and turned his head. At once, his eyes lit up. There was a nice looking building with a sign hanging right above the door. In large, fancy letters were the words Fairwood Castle. "Whoa! That says…Fa…Fair…Fairfood! It's Fairfood Castle!" he shouted.

Bailey slapped himself in the face. "No, it says Fair_wood_! Fairwood Castle!"

"Yeah, that's what I said."

"No, you—never mind."

The two would have just gone straight in, but there were some Marines after them. Greneland smiled in satisfaction as his gang surrounded Tavvy and Bailey. Neither of them looked worried at all, which wiped the confident smirk off the Marine's face.

"I will execute you in front of the entire town!" he shouted at Tavvy. It sounded as if he was trying to impress him. But Tavvy was Tavvy, and he began to pick his nose with his pinky finger.

Greneland's face was now beet red. If possible, it continued to grow redder as Tavvy withdrew his finger, looked at it, and flicked off a booger. He then wiped his hand on his shirt. Then, as if noticing Greneland for the first time, he looked up and waved.

"Hi! Who are you again?"

The lieutenant grit his teeth. "Capture him!"

Tavvy just scratched his head as the group of Marines began to close in. He turned to Bailey. "Why does everyone want to kill me?" he asked, genuinely confused.

Bailey gave an incredulous look. "I have no clue," he said, voice dripping with sarcasm.

Tavvy shrugged and yawned yet again. "Let's go into that Fairfood Castle place now. I'm tired."

"It's Fairwood! Fair-WOOD!"

"Same thing, right?"

"No, it's not the same thing!" Bailey tugged at his hair in frustration. He too, didn't pay any heed to the advancing Marines, but felt his stomach growl loudly. A truly hollow feeling overcame him. "Okay, yeah. Doesn't matter what it's called…because I'm starving!"

Tavvy grinned. "Alright!" He moved towards Fairwood Castle's doors, but was blocked by a large man with bulging muscles. Tavvy tried maneuvering around him, but was blocked by yet another person. He eventually decided to just jump over his adversaries, which actually worked. He sailed over their heads and landed in front of the dark, wooden door.

Someone threw a hammer at him. Tavvy dodged, of course, but it smashed through the wood easily. Another something came flying towards him. He dodged, and it smashed through the door, making another hole. A minute passed, as did several other objects, which reduced the door to a pile of splinters. Tavvy backed up through the doorway, dragging Bailey along. They quickly moved to the side.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY DOOR?" shouted an awfully familiar voice. At least, it was familiar to Tavvy. But how…how was _she_ here?

A lady stepped into the doorway which once contained a door. She was seething, stormy gray eyes boring into whoever made eye contact with her. Her gaze drifted to Lieutenant Greneland. "YOU! I told you not to come here anymore you fucking bastard! I am not going to marry some dumb, sonofabitch like you!" People stared at her, including Greneland. "Well? SCRAM!"

Everyone seemed to disappear like magic. Amazing.

Tavvy and Bailey were cowering over in a corner, hoping to go undetected. Tavvy was very pale. His lips moved, though no words came out. Bailey looked at him curiously.

"What is it, mate?" he asked quietly as the lady came back inside.

Tavvy pointed at the woman, his hand shaking. "M-M-Maria-san," he whimpered. "It's Maria-san."

Indeed, she looked very much like Maria. Same blond hair, same piercing gray eyes. Tavvy was terrified. And then she spoke.

"And don't think I can't see you two," she growled. Bailey stood immediately and bowed his head. Tavvy followed suit. It couldn't really be Maria, could it?

"We're terribly sorry, ma'am," muttered Bailey. "But it was those guys who attacked us! We didn't mean for them to break your door."

"I know that," said the Maria lookalike. She paid no special attention to Tavvy, which probably meant that she didn't recognize him. That being said, she probably wasn't Maria.

Bailey looked up. "Uh, you do?"

"Of course!" exclaimed the Maria lookalike. And then a wicked gleam entered her eyes. "But that doesn't mean you can avoid paying for my door! That's one million beli, please."

Bailey choked, as did Tavvy. "It really is Maria-san," gasped the white-haired boy, trying to thump himself on the back.

"We're broke," Bailey wheezed. "How are we supposed to get that much money? And there's no way a door can cost that much anyways!"

The Maria lookalike sneered. "Well, then. I guess you'll just have to work it off. But since you're broke, you won't be able to pay for your rooms, so you'll have to work for that as well as your meals."

"It really is Maria-san," Tavvy repeated, fainting.

The Maria lookalike watched him fall with barely any expression. "What's wrong with him?"

Bailey shook his head both as an answer and in disbelief. The devil. That was it. This woman was the devil.

"Oh, well. Get him upstairs," she said, pointing lazily to a flight of stairs. "Third and fourth rooms down on the left. After you get settled, I'll put you straight to work."

Just then, Bailey remembered something. "Wait!" he blurted. "We…we were told about this place by a Marine!"

The Maria lookalike shrugged. "So?"

"Well…he said his name was, uh…Tundra! That's it!"

Immediately after hearing the name, the Maria lookalike's cheeks turned a bright red. "T-Tundra?" she looked away, still blushing furiously. "He recommended me, Marie?"

"Uh…" was all Bailey could really say. The name Marie sounded a whole lot like Maria.

Marie tried to hide a smile. "Well, if you're friends of Tundra-san, then you don't need to pay for the regular hotel things," she said, "but you still owe me the door, okay?"

Bailey just nodded and dragged the unconscious Tavvy up the stairs. He looked back and saw Marie gazing at a photograph and giggling to herself. In the end, she was just another girl madly in love with some guy with a bike. So cliché.

* * *

><p>Chapter 6...<p>

I'm too tired to write my usual, incredibly horrid a/n...*yawn*

Well, thanks for reading y'all! And don't stay up too late or else you'll turn into a fanfiction-writing zombie like me! Yeah, try fitting in eating someone's brains into your schedule. It's bad enough with all the yodeling lessons I have to take, not to mention all the time I have to spend hacking into the Pentagon's database...


	7. Sammy and Noelle steal a ship

~Sammy~

"Let me get this straight. _You_ want _me_ to join your _pirate_ crew?"

Sammy gulped down a glass of juice. "Yup," he said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He looked at Noelle expectantly.

Noelle paused a second before bursting. "Are you insane? One, I'm not going to become a pirate! Two, I have other things to do! And three, you're a friggin' idiot!" Noelle shouted, looking around for something to throw at Sammy. Finding nothing loose, she took off one of her high heels and flung it at him. It hit him in the forehead and he stumbled backwards, just managing to keep his grip on the glass in his hand.

"OW!" exclaimed Sammy, rubbing the violent red mark that had formed between his eyes. "Aw, come on, umm, N-N-Noelle? Yeah, Noelle. I can't find One Piece without nakama!"

At the mention of One Piece, a passerby, who was in the process of ordering lunch, struck up conversation. "One Piece? Are you really going after the legendary treasure?" he asked, genuinely interested.

"Hell, yeah!" shouted Sammy, pumping his fist into the air. "I'm gonna be pirate king!" Noelle rolled her eyes at him.

The stranger just laughed. "Well, good luck with that. Are you after something specific?"

At this, both Noelle and Sammy gave the stranger a quizzical look. "Huh?"

"One Piece isn't just gold and diamonds, you know. Rumors say that the pirate crew who found it, the Straw Hat Pirates, re-hid it along with some of their personal stuff."

"Like what?" asked Noelle.

The stranger shrugged. "Well, I heard something about the secrets to making the Rumble Ball, which was invented by a talking reindeer. Don't know what that does though," he replied. Then, a light bulb lit up above his head (not literally). "Of course! Black Leg Sanji's Amazing Ultimate Cookbook!"

"Black Leg Sanji's Amazing Ultimate Cookbook?" both Sammy and Noelle repeated dubiously. They glanced at each other and they silently agreed that this guy was crazy.

The stranger nodded vigorously. "Legend says that within the pages of that book, Black Leg Sanji of the Straw Hat Pirates wrote down every recipe he knows! I also heard that if you eat a full meal from that cookbook, you'll have enough strength and energy to run around the world five times and lift up mountains!"

"I already do that stuff," sniffed Sammy, totally unimpressed. Noelle, however, was absolutely hooked, her eyes sparkling.

"If I got my hands on that cookbook," she murmured to herself, a devilish glint in her eyes, "then that obaasan would definitely have to be impressed."

This time, it was the stranger and Sammy who silently agreed that something was up.

"You're trying to impress your…grandma?" asked the stranger, raising an eyebrow. "Wow. She must have high standards."

An irritated Noelle was about to respond, but Sammy cut her off with a question of his own. "You impress old ladies by getting cookbooks?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "Wow. You are one strange person."

Noelle punched Sammy in the face. Sammy went flying down into a dark alleyway. The stranger stared in amazement, then, seeing Noelle's angry face, took off running with his lunch in his arms. Noelle watched him disappear into the crowd with a smug satisfaction. No one would understand how much she owed her teacher…

The stranger ducked behind a sign and breathed a sigh of relief. He had been quite sure that that girl would've punched him if he had stayed any longer. He smiled and rubbed his cheek. Glancing both ways to see if anybody was looking, he quickly ripped off his face. Well, he ripped off the rubbery mask on his face. It was tossed aside along with a wig and a pair of contact lenses. He then turned his jacket inside out and walked back onto the street, relishing his sweet victory. Mission accomplished. Sammy would definitely not be alone on his journey now.

~an hour later~

"So…why did you decide to go with me again?" Sammy asked uncertainly, shifting his weight from foot to foot. His cheek was severely swollen where Noelle had punched him.

"Because I'm going to get that cookbook," replied Noelle.

"What? Black Leg Sanji's Amazing Ultimate Cookbook?"

Noelle glared and Sammy flinched, remembering his throbbing cheek.

"You got a problem with that?" hissed Noelle, daring Sammy to say something stupid.

Sammy laughed nervously. "Nope. No problem at all." He then thought for a moment. "Hey, you seem like you really like to cook stuff. So what were you doing in that forest?"

Noelle glanced around lazily. "Looking for ingredients."

"Huh? Can't you just buy that kind of stuff?"

Noelle looked at Sammy incredulously. "Sure, I could, but fresh ingredients are always the best. You can't just buy anything and expect anything good out of it!" she said, shaking her head in disappointment. "You really don't know the first thing about making delicious food."

Sammy gave an exasperated sigh, but didn't want to take his chances with a rude remark. Noelle's company could be a good thing since she had a certain scary aura around her. He couldn't quite believe that the meeting with that stranger who told them about the cookbook was pure coincidence, though. Something was wrong with the whole picture. He just couldn't figure out what.

"So, do you have a ship?" Noelle asked, noticing Sammy's rare silence.

Sammy grinned at this. He had already explored the harbor and had found a few nice ships moored there. "Not really," he replied, turning towards the opposite direction of the harbor (which he thought was the direction of the harbor). "But I know where we can get one!"

He made to walk off, looked back and saw the tips of the ships' masts, then cursed himself silently and turned back around. Noelle rolled her eyes as Sammy ran off to the harbor.

"What am I doing?" she asked herself as she followed Sammy through the still crowded streets of the city. She joined Sammy at the docks, staring at the ship that he was staring at.

It was of moderate size. The wood was a very light color and evenly polished. There were some provisions on board and the words on the side of the hull read: _King Dan's Payback_. The figurehead resembled some kind of dragon with two long horns. In some places, the sails were patched up, but all in all, it was a good ship.

After a while of staring, Sammy spoke. "I'll take this one," he decided, setting his hands on his hips.

"Wait. You're going to steal it?" asked Noelle, slightly worried. "You should try to buy it."

Sammy shrugged. "I don't have enough money. Besides, why buy stuff when I can just steal it?" he replied innocently.

Noelle couldn't come up with an answer to that one. Sammy wouldn't have listened anyways. He was already on the ship, having a good look around. After a while, Noelle joined him, though cautiously.

Sammy sighed in pleasure. The sea was beckoning to him. A warm, salty breeze brushed past him, ruffling the plain black flag that stood atop the main mast. The flag really bugged Sammy. It was wrong.

Sammy started to climb the mast. Noelle watched curiously, but didn't do much else. When Sammy reached the top, he took down the flag and jumped to the deck landing in a cat-like manner. He spread the flag onto the deck and began to look around for something.

"Come on, come on!" he hissed to himself furiously. "There's gotta be something here!"

He finally found it. A bucket of white paint and a paintbrush. He returned to the flag and began to paint. After around fifteen minutes of intense concentration, he set down his paintbrush and crossed his arms in triumph.

"Wow. That's actually really nice," Noelle remarked, genuinely impressed. Sammy had painted a Jolly Roger. The skull was a normal skull wearing a jester's hat and instead of crossbones, two short scepters were crossed underneath. On either side of the skull was an image of a joker card.

"Alright!" Sammy announced, holding up the flag. "This is the official creation of the Joker Pirates!"

Noelle rolled her eyes. "Awesome flag, lame name. Oh, well." She watched Sammy climb back up the main mast and fasten their new flag to the flag pole. It flapped in the wind proudly.

Almost immediately, there were panicked cries coming from the crowd as people saw the flag. Sammy giggled uncontrollably as a few people began to run towards the ship, guns in hand. He let the sails drop and lifted the anchor. After untying the rope securing the ship to the dock, the _King Dan's Payback_ began to move.

"Catch me if ya can!" Sammy shouted, sticking out his tongue and flicking off some Marines who had begun to aim their pistols at him. A few other Marines scrambled into speedboats and started the engines. If only they knew who they were up against.

The _King Dan's Payback_ was now a good thirty yards away from shore. Sammy pointed to the gap between his stolen ship and the advancing Marine speedboats. His eyes lit up as the wind began to pick up. Soon, a small waterspout had formed, whirling around and moving towards the speedboats. Then, Sammy pointed to the sky overhead the ship and the wind filled the sails, propelling the boat forward.

"Okay…what just happened?" muttered Noelle, thoroughly confused.

Sammy continued to grin. "It's all got to do with science! You heat up the air long enough and it goes up, then it cools and goes down, and then you heat it up again and it goes up again!" he shouted, making dramatic hand gestures. "And then you get a tornado!" Sammy spun his hand around and around, making himself dizzy. He stumbled backwards.

Noelle sighed. "That's not even a fail. That's a fail of a fail." Just then, Sammy backed into the railing and flipped over, falling into the ocean. Noelle ambled to the spot where he fell and looked down in time to see Sammy's head pop out of the water.

"It tastes so SALTY!" shouted Sammy, furiously spitting to get the salt out of his mouth while trying to keep his head above water. "Ew!"

Noelle sighed again. She found a convenient rope and tossed it over the side of the ship. Sammy used it to climb back up. When he plopped onto the deck, he shook his head vigorously, spraying water everywhere and drenching Noelle.

"That was fun!" he exclaimed, pumping a fist into the air. Then he noticed the soaked Noelle glaring at him murderously. "Oops…"

It was a good thing that Ivan had remembered to pack towels for Sammy. Two towels in fact. Otherwise, our teenage hero would have been minced by his companion, and that would've been the end of this story. But don't worry, because Sammy has insurance. Ivan can predict things like this.

Noelle had dozed off in one of the cabins, leaving Sammy alone on the deck. He moved to the figurehead and hopped in between the horns of the dragon, crossing his legs underneath him. The air was cool and crisp. The only sound that could be heard was the gentle lapping of water against the hull.

"_Once there was a brave young boy_," Sammy sang softly, staring into the open water, "_who left his home for the big blue sea. The ocean was his second home…_" He trailed off and looked at the now night sky. The sprawl of stars soon made him dizzy and he quickly looked back to the water.

Sammy sighed, remembering the first time he had heard that song, so long ago. "When Davy was still alive," he muttered bitterly. Those Marines had forced Davy inside. They had said it was safer.

But it had been the pirates who had blown up the building. So really, it was both the Marines and pirates' fault that Davy was dead. Sammy could accept that. What he couldn't accept was the World Government. He hated the World Government. He hated that stupid flag. It was that flag which had caused the fight in the first place. It was that flag which had caused Davy's death. Even through his own death, Sammy knew that he would never, ever forgive that flag.

* * *

><p>I have to stop putting mysterious strangers into this story. But this person who knows so much about One Piece will return with a (kinda) major role! Yes, the <em>King Dan's Payback<em> is a spoof off of the _Queen Anne's Revenge_, the real Blackbeard's ship. It's also the name of my grandpa's boat.

Next chapter, Tavvy and Bailey enter the Marine Base! But they have to pass the entrance exam! Good luck to them. I probably won't be able to get the next chapter out until a long time from now because of all my homework, so y'all will just hafta wait! Thanks for reading


	8. Tavvy gets one step closer

~Tavvy~

"Thank you, whatever heavenly deity that may exist up there. Thank you for letting us escape from that freaky lady."

"Yeah. She was really scary and mean and made us do a whole lot of awful stuff, so we're super glad we didn't have to stay any longer than that."

"Yup. What he said. Thanks again." Bailey closed his eyes. "Phew."

They were standing near the Marine Base's entrance. All through the night, they had been washing clothes, dishes, dogs, and whatever else that could get dirty in the world. Every time they attempted to take a break, Marie would threaten them with more debt. Then, at the crack of dawn the next day, they had fled Fairwood Castle (though Tavvy still couldn't understand why Bailey hit his head against a wall every time he said 'Fairfood Castle'). Now, they walked side by side to the grand double doors leading to the base.

There was a single guard sitting next to the wicket built into the wooden gates. He sat in a colorful lawn chair, reading the newspaper. He wore beach shorts and a Hawaiian t-shirt. The man looked up as the two teenagers approached.

"Hello boys. What can I do for you?" he asked, folding up his newspaper.

Tavvy stepped forward. "We're signing up for the Marines."

The guard looked at them up and down dubiously. "Really?"

Tavvy crossed his arms. "Yeah!" Bailey stepped up to join him, trying to look bold.

The guard continued to give them a doubting look, but opened the wicket, signaling to the two teens. As Bailey and Tavvy walked through, he handed them each a card with a number on it. "Well, you two aren't the first. Just step in line and wait your turn for the examinations."

What Tavvy and Bailey saw on the other side of the gate made them both pale. It was a line of people. A really, really long line of people.

"That's a long line," remarked Tavvy.

"Thanks a lot for stating the obvious," Bailey muttered darkly. He stared hopelessly at the line. "How long does this thing go?"

The gatekeeper shrugged. "Dunno. About a mile, I guess." Then he chuckled and returned back to his post, calling over his shoulder, "But I'd be impressed if even one of you gets past the first test!" He closed the wicket behind him, his laughter heard even through the thick wood.

So Tavvy and Bailey waited…and waited…and waited. Finally, after two hours of barely moving, the line shrunk all of a sudden. Many people walked past and out the wicket, shaking their heads and nursing their wounds. Bailey turned his head to look at Tavvy, who was watching the departing people curiously.

"Hey!" Bailey called out to a passerby with a bad haircut. "Is the first part of the examination really hard?" he asked.

The man just shivered and said, "You have to get past _that _person in order to pass. All you have to do is get past the demon."

Bailey blinked uncertainly. "Okay…?"

"You'll have to face the devil!" added another person. "Run while you still can!"

Tavvy's eyes lit up. "Wow! This guy must be really strong!"

A lot of people shook their heads and walked away. There was an uneasy feeling creeping into Bailey's mind. These people acted truly scared. Even the big, burly ones looked as if they were about to cry. Who on Earth could make grown men cry? Whether he liked it or not, Bailey would get his answer.

They continued to move forward in the line. Then, they met the examiner.

"WHY?" screamed Tavvy. He instinctively dashed for the only cover around, which just happened to be Bailey.

Bailey himself was completely terrified. "Heavenly deities have a twisted sense of humor," he muttered under his breath.

The first examiner was no other than Marie. She wore her Marine's jacket over her shoulders like a cape and wore a bright red t-shirt underneath. Tattooed down her left arm was the word _Marine_ in all capitals with the N crossed out. Magically, the remaining letters spelled out _MARIE_.

"Oh, it's you two," she said in a bored tone. She cracked her knuckles, her hands covered in blood, no doubt from punching people in the face. "I'm totally fed up with this job. Why don't you two just go along to the next exam?"

They both heartily agreed to this, but Marie just had to add, "And that'll cost you a full ten million beli." Tavvy nearly fainted again as Bailey ran for dear life. They stumbled through a grand archway, Marie smirking at their distress.

"I should have known!" Tavvy wailed, tears streaming from his eyes. "Maria-san will haunt me for the rest of my life!"

Bailey yanked him forwards, bursting through another set of double doors. They were greeted by a spectacular array of gym equipment arranged into a large obstacle course.

"_Welcome_!" said a voice through a speaker. "_Wow. You guys actually got past Marie. You know, for the past month we've been recruiting, you two are only the second and third to get through her_."

"So that means someone else got through?" asked Tavvy, thoroughly impressed. He scratched his head nervously. "He must be even stronger than an army of Sea Kings!"

The voice on the speaker laughed. "_You got that right! Anyways, your second task is to get through this obstacle course without dying. One at a time. Good luck_!" And with that, the speaker went dead.

Since Tavvy was still recovering from the encounter with Marie, Bailey went first. The first obstacle was one of agility. An assortment of dangerous objects swung on thick chains like pendulums over the only path through a sea of jagged spikes. Bailey moved quickly, ducking under the anvil and barely dodging the huge battleaxe.

Next was a long stretch of murky water. At first, Bailey didn't see the piranhas, so he almost jumped in and swam. One happened to jump out of the water, snapping its jaws at him and causing Bailey to reconsider his plan. He took off the rings on his right hand, dropping the string into the water. Instantly, the nearby fish were electrocuted. Bailey managed to scoop one out of the water and cut it open. He then tossed it in front of him.

It took less than a second for all the other piranhas to smell the blood. They converged on the general location of the dead fish, eating each other to the bone. Bailey dipped his line of rings into the middle of the group of piranhas and most of them were killed. He then repeated the process until all the piranhas were dead. Then, he swam to the other side, trying to ignore all the fish corpses.

After the piranha pool was a tall, rock-climbing wall. Bailey groaned, then started to climb. There were quite a few times where he almost fell to his death, but he managed to at last scramble onto horizontal ground. He lay there, covering in sweat and panting heavily, for a long time before rising to his feet and walking down a small corridor.

The fourth obstacle was a huge slab of metal with some writing engraved onto it. Squinting, Bailey was able to make out the words.

"What walks on four legs in the morning, two during day, and three in the evening?" Bailey almost laughed. This was too easy. "A man. Duh!"

The metal slab split in two and swung inwards. Bailey walked through and was greeted by some nice air conditioning…

~back with Tavvy~

"**Takigawa**!" shouted Tavvy, pushing both arms forwards. Everything was blasted off their chains, allowing Tavvy to walk down the path of the first obstacle without having to dodge anything.

He came to the water, where they had restocked the piranha population. Tavvy jumped in and waded through the water. The piranhas gathered around him, but they did not attack. No, they kept a good two yards away from him, yet they still watched him hungrily as he lifted himself out of the pool.

Tavvy shook his head, dispelling the water droplets everywhere, then continued forwards to the rock-climbing wall. He scaled it easily, moving from one foothold to the nest like a monkey. Soon, he was at the top. He pranced down the hallway leading to the metal slab/door and read the words.

"What walks on four legs in the morning, two during day, and three in the evening?" Tavvy scratched his head, confused. "Is this a trick question?"

He received no answer.

"Is it a peacock?" Tavvy tried. Nothing happened. "A dog." Again, nothing happened. "Oh, I know! It's a moose!" Yet again, nothing happened.

Tavvy began to pace. He would shout out something random, wait for a reaction of sorts, not get one, then continue to pacing. Finally, his patience wore out.

"**Takigawa**!" Tavvy yelled for the second time that day. He thrust his hands towards the metal slab…and nothing happened. "What the hell?"

He tried again. "**Takigawa**!" Nothing happened. "**TAKIGAWA**!" Nothing.

Tavvy was sweating fiercely. He sat down and thought for a moment. Was there anything he could do? Would he be stuck here for the rest of his life?

Failure was not an option, but another attack might do the trick. Tavvy stood up and lifted his hand, slowly curling his fingers into a tight fist.

"**Kizuato: Level 1**!" screamed Tavvy, opening his hand with tremendous speed. A ripple of energy surged into the metal slab, denting it severely. Now, Tavvy could see that there were actually two slabs that were placed side by side. But they were still too close together to get through.

Tavvy grimaced. He would have to do something even more powerful. "**Kizuato: Level 2**!" He placed palm on the small crack between the two slabs. Suddenly, they were blown apart. Tavvy calmly walked through to a large arena where an amazed Marine was standing in the center.

"Y-you just b-broke the door," said the Marine, gaping at the teenage boy.

Tavvy looked behind him and blinked in surprise. "Whoa! I guess I did!" He turned to the Marine. "So what do I have to do now?"

The Marine shifted uncomfortably. He was a rather small man of average build and wore the standard Marine uniform. Hastily, he saluted. "Uh, my name is_—_"

"No one important!" shouted a vaguely familiar voice. Tavvy looked past the Marine in front of him. Standing in a Roman archway was no other than Lieutenant Greneland.

"L-Lieutenant," stammered the Marine, turning his salute towards the newcomer. Greneland ignored the man and marched straight up to Tavvy.

"Well," said Greneland, wrinkling his nose at the teenager. "You passed part two, but don't you get cocky! Your third test is to last three minutes against me, Lieutenant Greneland!"

Tavvy scowled. He was fairly irritated. It mostly had to do with his large consumption of energy. Now, he was grumpy and tired and he needed some food.

"I'm not cocky! I don't even know what cocky means!" Tavvy snapped, fire burning in his eyes. "But I bet I could beat your guts out in just three seconds!" The moment Tavvy said that, he took it further by adding, with a blank look, "Wait. Who are you again?"

Greneland flushed with anger. He was about to throw a temper tantrum when the voice over the speaker spoke up.

"_Lieutenant Greneland. Please do not interfere with the examination. If you do, it will mean a two rank demotion_."

Greneland bit his lip. "Fine," he said, after thinking for a while. He spun around on his heel, then left through the archway, leaving Tavvy and the terrified Marine.

Tavvy looked the Marine up and down. "All I have to do is beat the shit out of you, right?" He didn't wait for an answer. Rather, he punched the poor man in the face, making for an instant KO. Then, he made to follow Greneland through the archway.

"_Hold on_," said the voice on the speaker. "_That was way too easy_."

Tavvy stopped and sighed. "What? I beat him, so now someone gets to treat me to lunch!"

"_Yeah, you've passed, but there are some people here who want to challenge you to a match_."

"Huh? You mean that lieutenant person?"

The voice over the speaker chuckled. "_He's too weak. The only reason he can even get to Lieutenant rank is because of his father, Saint Nero_." Distant laughter could be heard through the speakers. "_But he thinks he actually earned his rank. So do most of the Marines in this division. They're scared stiff just because his father bribed the Rear Admiral to promote him five ranks in two days._" More laughter.

Tavvy wasn't interested in this at all. "He's a wannabe! So, what? Now, can I get some food?"

"_After you beat this guy._"

A figure was barely visible, lurking in the shadows of the archway. He spoke. "Hello, new recruit. What might your name be?"

Tavvy froze. That voice was so weird. He couldn't hear anything besides the pure sound of that voice. There was nothing behind the sound. Nothing at all.

"T-Tavvy," he stuttered, shivering. Had it gotten cold all of a sudden?

"Tavvy?" The voice was clearly amused. "Is that some kind of a joke?"

Tavvy took a step back. "My name is Tavvy. You got a problem with that?" He was trying to sound confident, but the quiver in his voice was worsening.

"I do have a problem with that," said the figure stepping from the shadows. "Because Tavvy…is the name of a pirate!"

* * *

><p>I'm really surprised to see this chapter out. Lucky for me, that English paper was easier than it seemed...<p>

Back to the story. Yep, another mysterious stranger. *Bangs head against wall in frustration* I have to stop doing that!

Whatever, next chapter we start the Curse of the Mari Gold Arc (CMG Arc) with Sammy and Noelle! I will let on that there will be a new crew member before the arc is over, but I can't promise that it will be one of the submitted OCs due to my having planned out the storyline before I even began writing this story.

Well, everyone stay healthy, don't turn into a zombie, be sure to read/watch your favorite manga/anime, and everything else to do with life. Thanks for reading, y'all! :)


	9. CMG Arc: The Doors

~Sammy~

"NO!"

"Why, Sammy? How could you?"

"I…I'm sorry, Noelle. I tried. I really did. Sorry."

They were fishing.

"That was a gigantic fish! How could you just let it go?"

Sammy looked hurt. "It was really strong!" Then he felt another tug on his line. "Oh! Another one!" He tried to reel it in, but his fishing rod was being bent into an unbelievable U shape.

Noelle abandoned her rod and moved to help Sammy. With one mighty heave, they managed fling the fish onto the deck without snapping the rod. It was a trout.

"Hold on," said Noelle, eyeing the fish dubiously. "Trout are freshwater fish."

Sammy's stomach grumbled loudly. "Who cares? I'm hungry and this fish is HUGE!"

So twenty minutes later, the two were dining on grilled, saltwater trout. It was delicious. So delicious, in fact, that they didn't notice the birds circling the boat and the island drawing nearer and nearer. They only realized that they had reached land until their ship ran aground, flinging its two passengers onto the soft sand of the beach.

"OW!" they both shouted through a mouthful of sand.

Noelle got up, dusting the sand off herself. "We need seat belts on that ship," she muttered.

Sammy pulled his head out of the sand. "That's a really good idea."

Then, they both turned their gaze to what was in front of them. The island was very small, about a mile in diameter (let's see…that would be about 1.6 kilometers I'm guessing). There was no greenery at all. Only snow white sand and a very large house right in the middle.

"What's with the random house in the middle of nowhere?" Noelle wondered out loud. It was a very dark building. The wood was clearly rotting and the paint, probably once bright yellow, was a muddy, mustard color. The front door stood ajar, inviting the curious passerby to come in. But they'd have to be able to climb the steps of the front porch first, which were just as rotten as the rest of the house.

"Let's go in!" Sammy shouted, springing up and dashing towards the house. Noelle rolled her eyes, but didn't follow.

"It looks disgusting, so I'm staying outside!" she called, heading back to the ship.

"OKAY! I GUESS I'LL BE HAVING FUN ALL BY MYSELF!"

Noelle sighed. "Whatever."

Sammy sprinted across the sand, the grains flying everywhere. He jumped and sailed right through the front door, somersaulting to ease his landing. He straightened and breathed in the stuffy air.

"Mommy. A strange boy just came into the house." The voice was faint, but sure. It sounded like it belonged to a small child. Sammy tried to find the source, but he couldn't see anyone. He began to climb a flight of stairs to his right.

"Whoa! Does someone live here?" Sammy asked. He reached the second floor.

"Mommy. A strange boy just came into the house."

Sammy looked around. "Hey! Anyone in here?"

"Mommy. A strange boy just came into the house."

"WHO THE HELL IS TALKING TO THEIR MOMMY?"

Sammy had flung open every door he could find. Every room, closet, and bathroom was empty, say for a few pieces of furniture. He couldn't find the voice's owner. Frustrated, he stomped his foot, breaking through the rotten floorboards. Sammy barely had any time to react before the floor gave in underneath him. Through the second and first floors he fell, landing with a sickening thud in the basement.

"Uh oh. Mommy, the boy just crashed through two floors. The house is damaged. What are we going to do now?"

From his position on the ground, Sammy would have shouted something extremely rude at the disembodied voice, but instead, he hollered, "MY ANKLE HURTS! AND IT JUST GOT BETTER, DAMNIT!"

Silence. Nothing stirred except for Sammy, who was trying to get to his feet. His foot was most definitely broken and he yelped when he tried to put weight on it.

"Mommy. The boy is really noisy. We should get rid of him before he finds the entrance."

Sammy sighed. He found that if he just ignored the voice, he could think much clearer. Unfortunately for Sammy, the only thing on his mind was food and his ankle.

"Want more fish!" he moaned. He groped around. It was completely dark. Whether his eyes were open or closed, Sammy couldn't see a thing. Finally, his hands found a door handle. He yanked hard.

The sudden light stung his eyes, even though it was only a dull firelight. The faint light illuminated a flight of stairs descending into darkness. A torch burned low from the place where it was secured to the stone wall.

Sammy scowled and slammed the door shut, enveloping himself in darkness. Who cared about mysterious passageways? Sammy wanted more fish!

Sammy folded his arms across his chest."**Shinrinkasai**!" he shouted, flinging his arms up above him.

~with Noelle~

Noelle knew something was up when the old house exploded. Splinters rained down from the sky and she was pretty sure that she saw a toilet flying through the air as well. A large section of the roof splashed into the water right beside the _King Dan's Payback_, almost toppling over the ship and soaking Noelle.

Noelle hissed furiously and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around her shoulders. She made a silent note to herself to kill Sammy when he returned.

"LOOK OUT BELOW!" Noelle heard someone shout. The last syllable was dragged out and Noelle soon realized that the voice was getting nearer. She looked up just in time to see Sammy crash onto the deck next to her. "I'M OKAY!"

Noelle hit him over the head with a frying pan. "You almost sunk the ship!"

Sammy sat up, a large bump forming on the top of his head. He crossed his arms. "Yeah, well, I was hungry! There was this stupid voice that kept talking to its mommy and it made me hungry! Then there were these stupid stairs that I couldn't see the bottom of and it made me hungry! And then I blew up the stupid house and it made me hungry!"

"YOU JUST ATE!"

"I'M STILL HUNGRY!"

So fifteen minutes later, Sammy caught a whole bunch of fish and the unlikely partners dined on smoked fish yet again (actually, Sammy ate all of it, but we're trying to experience some good nakamaship here, so that tiny detail was tweaked).

Noelle plugged her ears with her fingers as Sammy belched loudly.

"ALRIGHT! Let's go explore those freaky stairs now!" shouted Sammy, hoping off the boat. He landed on the beach with a big poof of sand. Miraculously, his ankle had healed from the fish and he could prance around as much as he wished.

"Freaky stairs?" inquired Noelle.

"Yeah! Come on, I'll show you!"

Noelle shook her head, but followed the enthusiastic Sammy to the ruins of the rotting house. While Sammy just jumped right down into the gaping cavity, Noelle hopped from beam, to bathtub, to broken cabinet in order to get to the basement. Sammy waited impatiently.

"Look, look! The door and the freaky stairs!" he cried, yanking open the door to reveal the descending staircase.

Noelle shrugged. "So? It probably goes down to some cellar."

"But I bet there's something really cool at the bottom!" shouted Sammy, grabbing the torch. He placed his foot on the first step. "Come on! Where's your sense of adventeree?"

"It's adventure!" Noelle snapped. Sammy looked at her with watery, pleading eyes. She relented. "Oh fine. If we get shredded to bits and pieces by some scary monster, I'm blaming you."

Sammy pumped his fist in the air in victory. "Alright! Let's go!" And with that he sprinted down the steps. Noelle rushed to catch up since the torch was the only source of light once the heavy wooden door closed behind.

"Mommy, Mommy! They're coming! The strange people are using the entrance! What'll we do?" came the child's voice that Sammy had heard earlier.

Both Noelle and Sammy wanted to stop and listen more closely to the words, but their momentum was so great that stopping would actually mean falling down the steps and breaking all the bones that could possibly break. They continued to stumble down the seemingly never-ending stairs.

"CAN YOU SEE THE END?" hollered Noelle to Sammy.

"NO! OH, WAIT! THERE'S A—*SPLAT*…door."

It took all of Noelle's strength to not share Sammy's fate. She skidded to a halt at the base of the stairs, just before she could slam into a set of huge double doors. They were made out of solid steel. Even Sammy's impact had only made a very slight dent in the metal.

"My face hurts," Sammy moaned, peeling himself from the surface of the door. He landed on his back. Amazingly, nothing was broken. "I'm hungry."

"You just ate."

"Yeah, well running into a door just drained all my energy."

"Lame excuse."

Noelle took the torch from Sammy's hand and inspected the door. The metal was engraved with intricate designs. Studying it more closely, Noelle could see that it was actually a wood grain pattern. Someone had gone to great lengths in order to make a metal door look like actual wood. It was just too bad that wood was more of a brownish color while metal was gray.

"Hey, Sammy. Can you use your sight thing to look through the doors?" asked Noelle, searching for a way to open the doors.

Sammy hopped to his feet. He placed his palms on the door and grinned. "I can do better than that!" He narrowed his eyes and stared intently at the space between his palms. "One foot. Wow, these are thick doors!" (er…that would be around 30.5 cm. Darn you, America! Why can't we use the metric system?)

Noelle stumbled back as the doors began to heat up. She watched as Sammy pressed his hands into the now pliable metal. He continued to push until his hands broke through to the other side. Sammy withdrew his hands and the steel cooled.

Sammy peered through one of his handprints. He was greeted by the muzzle of a gun.

"Yikes!" yelped Sammy, jumping back just as a bullet whizzed out of the gun. The metal pellet glanced harmlessly off a step and clattered to the ground. "What the hell was that for?" he demanded through the handprint-hole.

BANG! Again, Sammy leapt backwards, narrowly avoiding another bullet. How rude! Sammy gave the doors a good kick. They didn't budge.

A low and muffled voice from the other side said, "That's useless. They only open from the inside."

Sammy snorted, clearly irritated. "Oh, yeah? We'll see about that!" He closed his eyes and took a deep, slow breath. Then, his eyes opened. Every possible weakness in the great double doors was revealed to Sammy. Some places were thinner than others and there was a small, but clear crack through one. Of course, there was also where he had melted through the metal. Sammy tensed.

"**Sanhidama**!" he shouted, aiming a sharp blow with two locked fingers to a thin spot near the handprints. He struck the doors again at the small crack. Yet again, he hit the doors, this time at a higher point between the two previously places, forming a triangle.

Cracks spread like wildfire from each point where Sammy had hit, glowing with supernatural heat. Eventually, a rough, triangular chunk toppled from the doors, landing with a gigantic thud on the other side. Sammy wrenched open what was left of the entrance and gestured for Noelle to go first.

"Ladies first is what Ivan-sama always said!" he said, grinning. He chuckled. "And Maria-san said my manners were bad!"

Noelle, not too impressed with Sammy's "manners", cuffed him on the back of the head. "You just ruined a set of perfectly fine doors."

Sammy sniffed indignantly. "Well, he shot at me! I had every right!" he cried, gesturing madly to the demolished doors.

"Think of the cost of repairs! You really have to be more considerate of others, even if they're a bunch of cowards who hide behind thick, metal doors decorated to look like wood."

Sammy considered Noelle's words seriously. I sense of guilt overcame him. "Oh…umm, sorry for killing your doors, cowards who hide behind thick, metal doors decorated to look like wood! I'll pay for it once I find One Piece and become the pirate king!"

"Pirate king?" It was the child's voice from before. The kid sounded scared. "No…Mommy, they found us! Mommy, I don't want to die!"

A sudden gust of wind blew out the torch in Noelle's hand, plunging everything into darkness. Sammy remembered trying to use his Soul of Sight before being slugged over the head by something hard and slipping into unconsciousness.

* * *

><p>Let's just get this over with. WHY THE HELL ARE THERE EVEN MORE MYSTERIOUS STRANGERS IN THIS FREAKING STORY? *goes HULK and demolishes city* Now that that's out of the way…<p>

What a weird chapter to write…a lot of questions to be answered with the beginning to this arc, right? What's with these weird doors and just what is on the other side? Cue the creepy music! Also, I'd like to apologize to Arashi-Storm-Guardian just in case...I really feel like I'm killing your character...

Next chapter! Tavvy faces off against not one, but TWO opponents! Will he make it? Well, you'll just have to wait for the next chapter in order to find out.


	10. Tavvy likes them brownies

~Tavvy~

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" Tavvy shouted furiously. "WHY WOULD I HAVE THE SAME NAME AS A DAMN PIRATE?"

The stranger took a step back, slightly surprised by the sudden outburst. Judging from his appearance, he looked to be about ten years older than Tavvy was, perhaps a bit younger. He had wavy locks of chocolate brown hair that barely brushed his upper eyelids. Interestingly, the tips of his hair were a fair, golden color that deeply contrasted with the rest of his hair. His eyes were a piercing hazel that seemed to shift every now and then within the irises.

"I'm not lying," said the stranger, who did not wear the standard Marine uniform. His attire consisted of an un-tucked, white button-down shirt with a black, pinstripe vest, and matching black pants. He wore a pair of white gloves and in one hand, held a black, flat-rimmed hat accented by a strip of vibrant orange cloth.

Tavvy's rage didn't subside. "What? And you think I'm a pirate?" He crossed his arms. "Just 'cause we have the same name, doesn't mean we're the same person!"

The stranger sighed exasperatedly. "I never said you were a pirate! I just thought you were using a pirate's name to make fun of the Marines." His eyes widened for some reason and he began to breathe heavily. He whipped out the white handkerchief that had been tucked into the pocket of his vest and sneezed.

Tavvy blinked as the stranger continued to sneeze in rapid succession.

"I can't do this, Nautilus! My allergies *ACHOO* are out of *ACHOO* control!" shouted the stranger between loud sneezes. He fell to the ground, still sneezing.

The voice over the speaker sighed. "_Honestly, Tantalus. I told you to go see a doctor! Now look at you!_"

Tantalus sneezed again before speaking. "You _so_ did not tell me to go see a doctor! *ACHOO* You told me to act tough *ACHOO* and brave it out! You filthy liar!" he spat. He then proceeded to sneezing some more.

The owner of the voice, Nautilus, howled in rage. "_I am not a liar! You're the liar! You said that Genesis had already broken up with Gloria! THEY'RE FREAKING _ENGAGED _NOW!_"

"I never said *ACHOO* anything of the sort! Oya probably said that! If it wasn't him, then it was *ACHOO* definitely Kokie! She's been dying to get back at you for the whole moldy *ACHOO* cheese prank!"

"_Liar! It was _you_!_"

"EXCUSE ME!" Tavvy yelled, even more enraged.

Tantalus, who was now sitting upright on the ground, turned his hazel eyes to the teen. "Ah, sorry about that." He rose to his feet, stuffing the handkerchief back into his vest pocket. "My name is Tantalus. *ACHOO* Lieutenant Junior Grade Tantalus, that is."

"_And I am Lieutenant Nautilus, Tantalus's immediate superior_," said Nautilus with a sneering tone.

Tantalus huffed. "Not for long, Lieutenant. We'll be *ACHOO* equals in a week, remember?"

"_Yeah, but until then, you're still my underling_."

"Don't you get cocky, Naut *ACHOO*!"

"_You're the—_" began Nautilus.

"EXCUSE ME!" Tavvy's eyes flickered with internal flames. "How about I beat up T-person, then go to where N-person is and beat him up, and then get both to get me some FOOD!"

An awkward silence persisted from both Tantalus and Nautilus's voice. Finally, Tantalus smiled, revealing eerily long canines. "Tavvy, huh? You resemble the pirate in more than *ACHOO* just your physical appearance."

The real voice of Nautilus traveled to Tavvy's ears. Strange. This too didn't have anything besides sound. "No kidding. The guys at the Grand Line have been trying to hunt down that pirate for a long time. White hair, blue eyes, freaky temper…" Captain Nautilus appeared in the archway behind Tantalus.

Nautilus was about the same age as Tantalus. He had hair that highly resembled greenish-blue seaweed. It hung low over his eyes, partially obscuring eyes that looked to be the same hazel as Tantalus's eyes. Tavvy stared.

"Maybe you would like to *ACHOO* face the two of us at the same time?" suggested Tantalus, still smiling his pointy smile. "Though I should warn *ACHOO* you: my brother and I are not very coordinated, even though we are considered twins. We might accidentally chop off your head."

Nautilus chuckled. He twirled some of his seaweed hair around his finger. "That's why we have different ranks. My level is far greater than Tant's." He wore the exact opposite color scheme of his twin. Black dress shirt, white vest and pants, and black gloves. His white hat fit snugly on top of his hair and the blue cloth glittered in the light like deep ocean water.

"You must have forgotten yet *ACHOO* again, brother," Tantalus growled, swiping the hat off his brother's head, much to Nautilus's dismay. "You were just extremely lucky *ACHOO*."

Nautilus retrieved his hat from the ground and dusted it off. "Do I have to remind you that I'm being promoted within a month?" he snarled.

Tantalus stuck out his longer-than-ordinary tongue. "*ACHOO* I'm the one who has a better reputation with Rear Admiral Marie! We'll just *ACHOO* see who gets the last laugh."

"EXCUSE ME!" Tavvy yelled, and not for the first time that day. The bickering brothers stopped arguing and both turned to face Tavvy.

"How long do you suppose, Tant?" Nautilus asked with a bored expression. He carefully peeled his gloves from his hands. Next to him, Tantalus was doing the same.

"Oh, about ten minutes," was Tantalus's reply. He sneezed. "On second thought, let's make it *ACHOO* quick and do five."

"Finally something we can agree on. Afterwards, I'll be nice and take you to the doctor's. I hear he's giving out free brownies today."

Tavvy braced himself for an attack as his mouth began to water. There was no telling how powerful these two blockheads were. He didn't even stop to consider how many people would think he was the true blockhead out of all three. In actuality, he cared more about the free brownies.

Nautilus moved first. He held up a drooping hand, rushing at Tavvy with a frightening speed. Tavvy barely had time to notice the water droplet dangling from the Captain's fingertips before he was struck by said water droplet in the shoulder. It broke through his skin and caught Tavvy thoroughly off guard.

"Inexperienced rookies," Tavvy heard someone mutter from behind him. He whirled around just in time to see Tantalus slam his palm into his chest. It wasn't a hard push and yet, Tavvy was blown backwards by some huge force. He smacked into a wall.

"That wasn't even five minutes!" exclaimed Nautilus. "You can't even follow your own guidelines!"

"**Manchou**!" Tavvy yelled, jumping into the air while pressing down hard with the palm of his hand. A large amount of pressure began to build under his hand. Tantalus took a step back, while Nautilus took a step forwards.

"**Yarinami**!" shouted Nautilus. He seemed to grab the actual air in his hand. The pressure that had descended on the room dissolved and the only real power could be felt coming from Nautilus' hand. He looked like he was holding a spear of sorts.

Tavvy felt like someone had just stabbed him in the gut. Nautilus had just thrown whatever he had been holding and Tavvy, still in the air and unable to see what exactly the Lieutenant had thrown, couldn't dodge.

"Ow," Tavvy said plainly, landing unsteadily on his feet. Whatever Nautilus had thrown, it had felt suspiciously like water. But then, where was the water?

Tavvy felt his stomach. Looking at his hand, he realized it was covered in blood. And he felt angry. Oh so angry. Not even Sammy could injure him that badly. He was being completely humiliated on his entrance into the Marines. They'd pay for this.

Nautilus and Tantalus watched as Tavvy curled his hand into a tight fist. Then, he suddenly relaxed and swayed to the side, grinning. He crouched low, his knuckles scraping the cold tiles of the floor. "**Gekido no Tsunami**!" he shouted, punching the ground hard with both his fists.

"What?" exclaimed Nautilus, almost falling backwards. The ground was shaking violently. Rumble rained down from the tall ceiling. A huge surge of power was building from the epicenter: Tavvy.

"It's an *ACHOO* earthquake!" yelled Tantalus, losing his balance and falling down on his butt. He looked up dumbly and for a split second, thought he saw a huge wave of water about to crash down upon him. He closed his eyes, knowing that his brother would cover for him, yet still dreading the feeling of cold water.

Someone stepped in front of Tantalus. Tavvy blinked with recognition.

"Oh, it's Mr. Tun…Tun…aw, Tun-something," he said, straightening. He seemed to have forgotten that he had been in the middle of a battle.

Tundra scratched his head with a puzzled expression. He ignored Tavvy and looked down at Tantalus. "Hey, Tant. I forgot where the coffee room is."

Tantalus still had his eyes closed, but then opened them sharply. "The coffee room?" he said, staring blankly at the fellow Marine.

Tundra sighed. "Dumbass," he muttered. "Fine. I'll just find it myself." He took out a map and began turning it this way and that.

"WE DON'T HAVE A COFFEE ROOM!" Nautilus shouted from a fighting stance, his face going red. "I thought we cleared that up yesterday!"

"No coffee room?" Tundra sounded disappointed. "That's too bad." Then he strode off, still scratching his head as if he were trying to remember something.

Tavvy realized the brothers were arguing again.

"What do you mean, you don't like decaf?"

"Decaf is nasty!"

"You're nasty!"

"Your face is nasty!"

"Well, your mom is_—_" Nautilus broke off, realizing what he had been about to say. "Uh…really awesome because she's also my mom!"

"Well, your…wait. What?"

"I said—"

"EXCUSE ME."

Tavvy was sick of these two. He was sore. He was tired. Most of all, he was hungry.

"EXCUSE YOU!" Tavvy wasn't expecting the reply. He almost fell down from the anger in the words.

Tantalus sneezed, then rubbed his nose. "We are having a brotherly conversation here! Don't interrupt us!"

Nautilus nodded in agreement. "Honestly, show a little more respect to your elders!" He glared at his brother.

The two continued to argue:

"Don't just stop in the middle of your sentences!"

"Don't criticize me! I'm your twin!"

"I don't care if you're my twin or my mom! Just don't stop in the middle of your sentences!"

"You're stupid!"

"You're dumb!"

"Your face is dumb!"

"Your mom is…damn, this again?"

Tavvy crossed his arms, waiting impatiently. Maria had told him to never interrupt anybody while they were speaking. It was good manners, but these two were taking way too long. He began to tap his toe on the tiled floor.

"You just changed the subject in the middle of your sentence!"

"I had to!"

"Why?"

"Because then I would have insulted my mother!"

"How dare you insult your mother?"

"I didn't actually say anything!"

"And plus, your mother is my mother, so…HOW COULD YOU INSULT MY MOTHER?"

"I DIDN'T!"

Tavvy wandered off through the arch. Stupid people. They could argue forever for all he cared. He looked down at the stomach wound. It didn't look too bad, but Tavvy decided to go find a doctor, just in case. And there were those free brownies to consider…

Tavvy whistled quietly. The halls of the Marine Base were startlingly white and seemed to glitter from the light cast by the many chandeliers that hung from the ceiling at regular intervals. Gold-plated doors lined each wall. Some potted plants were unevenly spaced out between the doors. The carpet was a rich, dark red and very thick. Every time Tavvy took a step, he felt like he was sinking. The place was very beautiful.

At the end of the corridor, there were two doors of marble, one white and one black. A golden plaque labeled each. The plate on the white-marble door read: _ENTER IF YOU DARE_ and the one on the black-marble door said: _ENTER IF YOU HAVE ISSUES_.

Tavvy couldn't decide on which one to open. He certainly dared to go through the white-marble door, but then again, he did have some issues, so should he go through the black-marble door instead? This was far too confusing.

"I'll pick it randomly," he reasoned, closing his eyes and waving his hand around wildly. His arm stopped moving and he pointed with his index finger. Slowly, Tavvy opened his eyes. He was pointing to the door that said: _ENTER IF YOU HAVE ISSUES_.

Tavvy grasped the bronze handle of the door and slowly pushed. The slab of stone sung inwards easily. Tavvy stared.

"Hey, Tavvy! Want a brownie?" said Bailey, holding up a large brownie with chocolate icing. He shoved another into his mouth, closing his eyes with pleasure. "Aw, man! These are delicious!"

The brownie was down Tavvy's throat faster than Bailey could say, "Don't bite my hand!"

Bailey was sitting at a large, round table made of an almost black wood. Silvery markings were engraved into the polished and gleaming surface. A huge, platinum platter sat in the center, heaped with brownies.

Tavvy looked at the plate. He sat down in a nearby chair. "Alright!" he announced to no one in particular, leaning back onto the back legs of the chair. "This is my first decree as a Marine! I own this room and the brownies and whatever makes the brownies!"

Bailey choked on his brownie. "Decree?" he shouted. "You know what a decree is?"

Tavvy just smiled a chocolaty smile, which left Bailey deeply troubled.

"Oya makes the brownies," came a small voice from under the table. Both Bailey and Tavvy fell back in their chairs.

"There's a little kid trapped under the table!" Tavvy exclaimed, peering into the darkness under said table. There was a little squeak from the boy hiding under there. Tavvy found himself staring into neon blue eyes.

"Ah! I don't want to be eaten!" cried the boy, shrinking back from the two unfamiliar and upside-down faces. A pair of square-rimmed glasses with orange tinted lenses rested on the bridge of his nose.

"Who would want to eat you? You'll need to get fatter if I'm going to eat you," said Tavvy, causing the boy to shriek in fright.

Bailey's jaw dropped as best a jaw could drop while hanging upside down. "You can't eat people, Tavvy! Urgh, that's disgusting!" he shouted.

Tavvy gave a small pout. "Geez, can't you take a joke? And what's a little kid doing inside of this place anyways?"

The small boy murmured something incomprehensible.

"What was that?"

The boy spoke a bit louder. "I…I work here."

Bailey turned to Tavvy. "That's child labor! If I had known the Marines were like this, I wouldn't have joined!"

Again, the boy mumbled something.

"Talk louder!"

The boy cringed. "I…I'm fifteen."

Awkward silence. Tavvy blinked, not sure of how to react. Bailey blinked, also not sure of how to react. The two sat up straight in their chairs and both brought a brownie to their mouth.

"I get how little kids like to think they're a lot older, but this guy is a really horrible liar," said Bailey, licking the chocolate off his lips.

"Yeah," agreed Tavvy. "I mean, I always pretended that I was twenty something when I was really little. Then, I saw a real twenty-year-old person and realized that I didn't look anywhere near twenty. This guy probably hasn't even seen a fifteen-year-old person."

"I'm fifteen!" cried the boy from under the table. Neither Tavvy nor Bailey paid any heed.

Bailey shook his head. "Poor kid. Someone needs to give him a reality check. Then, someone has to get him out of here. Child labor should be against the law."

"I'm fifteen!"

"They're thinking of actually passing that as law. A lot of people are in favor of it."

"I'm fifteen!"

"But there are still some people who think they can make children work without paying them."

"I'm fifteen!"

Just then, the door opened again and someone said, "Damnit. And I thought for sure this was the coffee room…"

* * *

><p>Chapter number ten... so I'm already in the double digits. And no more mysterious strangers! Tantalus and Nautilus are my creations. They're meant to model the relationship between my brother and I. As you can probably tell, the 17th Branch is not your ordinary Marine Base. It's actually a rather special place, as I will reveal later on.<p>

Also, I'd like to apologize to those people who like reading fight scenes (if there are any who read this story). All the fights have been short and interrupted. As I get more into the story, they'll be longer and more serious.

Finally, I'd like to thank those of you who review each chapter! You're comments make me smile! Thanks for reading, peoples! And why is it getting so cold? Brrr...


	11. CMG Arc: The Boss and his sister

~Sammy~

Sammy half-heartedly rammed his shoulder into the iron door. He bounced off with a loud thump.

"Fail," muttered Noelle, brushing aside a stray strand of her silvery hair. She looked around lazily.

They were locked inside a stone room with no windows and one small and heavy metal door. Sammy was too exhausted to do anything with Haki. He lay on the ground, panting. He got up painfully and laid a hand on the door. Nothing happened.

"What's with the stupid door?" Sammy demanded. "Let me out!"

"'What's with the stupid door?'" Noelle mimicked. She rolled her eyes. "Obviously, they don't want us going out!"

"B-but," stammered Sammy, "I don't like this place!"

Again, Noelle rolled her eyes, but she didn't say anything. She didn't like the room either, but Sammy was a bit too slow to realize that.

"Stupid door!" he shouted, making to kick it with all his might. To his great surprise, the door opened and his foot followed through to slam into someone's crotch. A loud, anguished wail followed. Sammy stared at the sandy-haired man doubled over in pain.

"OW!" he howled, his hands clasped defensively between his legs. He hopped up and down, muttering curses.

A man in dark shades popped his head into the room. "You okay, Boss?" he asked, his voice low and mysterious. A bunch of stringy black hair dangled in thin locks over his glasses and a small, bushy beard sprouted from his chin.

"Yep, yep," said the person whom Sammy had kicked. He grimaced. "I'm fine, yeah?"

"Yeah," said the dark-haired man dubiously. His head disappeared back behind the doorframe. Noelle found herself wondering why the man wore sunglasses when there was obviously no sunlight down there.

The sandy-haired person turned to Sammy. "Hey, hey! What was that for, yeah?" he asked without removing his hands from his crotch. He had dark brown eyes that were slightly slanted. His pale skin was dotted with orangey freckles. He looked to be about twenty or so.

"I was trying to get out," Sammy said bluntly.

The stranger wore a regular gray shirt under a brown leather jacket. His pant legs were rolled up to his knees, revealing white stockings that climbed up his calves. A pair of shiny black shoes protected his rather small feet.

Noelle had a terrible feeling about the guy. She was developing a way for detecting people like him.

"Okay, okay. I understand, yeah? My little underlings got really scared when you melted the doors, yeah? Gave you a little bump on the head, yeah, yeah?"

Noelle sighed. Yes, it was another idiot.

"Yeah!" shouted Sammy, catching on to the stranger's style of speech. "Why the hell did you do that?" He glared.

The stranger looked hurt. "Look, look. I didn't do anything, yeah? It's human instinct, yeah, to go jump someone who scares you, yeah?" he said, moving his hands in order to gesture madly. Sammy had, unfortunately, followed the hand gestures and was now quite dizzy. His eyes were spinning as he teetered backwards. At the last second, he flapped his arms with all his strength, yet still landed on his back with a loud thud. Noelle rolled her eyes again and the stranger blinked uncomprehendingly.

"Well, well. That was…unexpected, yeah?"

"I'm hungry!" Sammy moaned from the ground.

The stranger's eyes lit up. "Hey, hey! We got food, yeah? Lots of it, since my big sis decided not to come over today, yeah? We always have a feast when sis comes, yeah?" He beckoned to Sammy and Noelle. "Come on, come on! You're hungry, yeah?" With that, he sprinted out the door.

Sammy sprang to his feet and followed. Noelle, thinking it odd that they had been locked up and then released without any hesitation, trailed behind, glancing at the guard standing stock still beside the door. He waved and Noelle waved back awkwardly.

"Hello, hello! Everyone, get the feast ready, yeah? We got guests, yeah? You know, the ones you attacked, yeah?" shouted the stranger when the trio emerged into a large, open space. They had been walking down corridor after corridor, all carved entirely from stone.

The cavern now before them had also been carved out of rock. The walls were a dull gray without any decoration. A long, stone table stretched from one end of the room to the other. Torches were set into the wall to provide light. Sitting in stone chairs were an assortment of people, all with very pale skin. They were mostly playing board games, reading oversized books, or sleeping. Upon hearing the sandy-haired guy's voice, they all stood to attention.

"Yeah!" they chorused. "Right away, Boss!"

"Hold on, hold on!" shouted the sandy-haired person before anyone could move. "Don't say 'yeah' after me anymore, yeah? It gets annoying, yeah?"

Many people were about to say "yeah" but closed their mouths just in time. One rather small man confidently yelled a loud, "Yeah!" and then clamped his hands firmly over his mouth and shrank back into the crowd, his face beet red. Everyone left through a large and sturdy stone door leaving just the sandy-haired person, Sammy, and Noelle.

Sammy wandered off to the table and was now fascinated with a chess piece. He examined it and tossed it around in his hands. It was made out of stone and very heavy, yet the detail was extreme.

"Yo, yo! Let's play a game of chess while we wait, yeah?" suggested the host. He sat down across from Sammy and began to arrange the pieces on the stone board.

Noelle also sat down. She doubted either one of them could actually play well.

"Alright, alright! I go first, yeah? Then you go, yeah?"

"Yeah!"

The sandy-haired guy moved his knight forward. Sammy moved his pawn. The sandy-haired person moved one of his pawns. Sammy countered with another pawn. The sandy-haired person then slid his knight closer to Sammy's side. Sammy again moved a pawn.

After a few minutes or so, the game ended in checkmate from six different pieces. The victor, to Noelle's utter astonishment, was Sammy.

"Ivan-sama was a chess champion," Sammy explained, leaning back on his chair. "He wouldn't feed us if we didn't do our chess drills."

"Whoa, whoa! You're really good, yeah?" exclaimed the sandy-haired guy. He stared at Sammy with a sense of admiration. "Dang, dang. What's your name, yeah? You're the first one to beat me in chess, yeah?"

Sammy pumped his fist into the air, grinning. "Yeah! My name is Sammy! What's yours?"

"Cool, cool! Yeah! The name's Hammer, yeah? But everyone just calls me Boss around here, yeah, yeah?"

"Wow!" exclaimed Sammy, so excited that he wiped all the chess pieces off the board. "Hammer's a cool name! Why do they call you Boss?"

Boss pounded on his chest proudly. "I know, I know! It's 'cause I am their boss, yeah? That's why they say Boss and not Hammer, yeah?"

Noelle tried to ignore the excessive use of "yeah"s in Boss's speech, but it was pretty hard to tune out since the guy's voice was so loud. She picked up a book and began to read a story about a guy who used too many "yeah"s. Then, after a few sentences saturated with "yeah"s, she closed the book sharply and plugged her ears. At least she wasn't completely bored.

"Whoa! That's awesome! I wish I was the boss of all those people. I'm only a captain of a really small crew right now, but I'm gonna get a whole bunch of people to join me so I can find One Piece and become Pirate King!" shouted Sammy all in one breath. The vigor drained from his face as he saw Boss's dark expression.

"So, so. You really are a pirate, yeah?" Boss stated plainly. He shook his head, saddened. "And I was really starting to like you, yeah?"

Sammy could only let out a confused, "Huh?" before being grabbed from behind by the guard from the previous room. Noelle had been so silent the whole entire time that she was promptly ignored. She decided it was best if it stayed that way.

"Let me go!" howled Sammy, struggling in vain to wrench free of the man's strong grasp. "What's it to you if I'm a pirate?"

Boss frowned. "See, see. Pirates are awful people, yeah? All they do is destroy and kill, yeah? That's why we all live underground, yeah, yeah? They can't get us down here, yeah?" he said, his dark eyes flashing.

Sammy kicked the man behind him in the private parts. He was getting good at it. The man let out a moan, releasing Sammy as he did so. Sammy straightened and tried to remain dignified. He looked Boss in the eye.

"Well, that's just too bad for you!" said Sammy, placing his hands on his hips. "I don't wanna hurt anyone if I don't have to, but you guys are really ridiculous and all. You even got some weird kid who's always talking to his mommy. It's no wonder people want to kill you!"

Boss's cheeks flushed with color. "Hey, hey! That kid went through a lot, yeah? Don't go insulting us, yeah?" he shouted.

Sammy stomped his foot angrily. "I'll insult you if I want! Besides, you're the one who said all pirates just kill and destroy! I haven't killed anyone and I'm still a pirate," he puffed out his chest, "and I don't ever plan on killing anyone, EVER!"

Boss was about to shout something back when someone grabbed him by his collar and flung him aside.

"Get out of the way," said the lady, checking her fingernails with a bored flick of her eyes. "You're blocking me."

Sammy obediently moved aside and the lady walked past without saying anything else. Her sandy-blonde hair swished side to side with every step.

"Awkward moment?" suggested Noelle after the lady had disappeared down a stone corridor.

"What, what? What's Sis doing here, yeah?" Boss asked, rubbing his bottom where he had landed. He grimaced and got to his feet. The guy that Sammy had recently kicked helped him up, apologizing quietly.

Moments later, a few terrified squeals were heard from the other side of the stone door. It burst open and people rushed out with frightened expressions. They hid under tables, chairs and anything that could provide any sort of cover. The source of all of their distress became apparent as Boss's sister emerged in the doorway, a small lollipop in her mouth.

"This place still smells as awful as ever," she remarked. She lifted her sunglasses until they rested on her forehead, revealing frightening, sea green eyes.

"H-hey, hey!" said Boss, trying to sound cheerful. "We weren't expecting you to show up today, Sis, yeah?" He shrank back as a murderous glare was cast in his direction.

"Shut up, Hammer. You annoy me," said Boss's sister, temporarily removing her lollipop. Seeing no reason to continue speaking, she stuck it back in her mouth and shoved her hands into the pockets of her blue jeans. Then, she turned and slowly walked back into the room behind her. The door closed quietly.

"Another awkward moment?" Noelle smiled. This was quite entertaining.

An anguished wail escaped Boss's throat. "Why, why? Why does Sis hate me, yeah?" he shouted, pounding the ground with his fists. Some people ran over to comfort him. They gave him a glass of water and some pineapple, along with a piece of cake. He sniffled, then gulped down the water. The pineapple and cake soon followed.

Chewing mournfully, Boss wiped a tear from his cheek. "Alright, alright," he said after swallowing hard. "We're going to have to hide, yeah? Sis is in a really bad mood today, yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Geez, geez. Guys, I said not to say yeah after me, yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"No, no! Don't say yeah, yeah?"

"YEAH!"

"SHUDDAP, YEAH?"

"YEAH, BOSS!"

Sammy and Noelle looked at each other. "These people are really stupid," they said at the same time. Boss was so busy yelling at everyone to notice Sammy and Noelle slip away. They quietly opened the stone door and snuck through, both relieved to find the other side much quieter.

"I was hoping there would be some kind of intelligent life form here," Noelle said with a sigh. She shook her head, wondering just how many idiots she would come across in her lifetime.

Sammy looked hurt. "W-what about me?" he asked, his voice wavering.

Noelle rolled her eyes. But then she considered the question seriously. "Well, I guess you're not as bad as the dunces out there."

A wild grin split Sammy's face. "Yay!" He paused. "Uh…what's a dunce?"

Again, Noelle had to roll her eyes. She didn't answer, but someone else did for her.

"A dunce is an ignorant person who is extremely slow at learning," said Boss's sister, throwing a wooden dart into a dartboard. It hit right in the center. "Haven't seen you two before. How'd you get down here?"

Sammy's hand shot into the air. "I wanted to do something fun!" he shouted in complete sincerity.

Noelle jerked her thumb at Sammy. "I followed him for some stupid reason."

Boss's sister tossed another dart. It stuck to the very end of the previous dart. "Impressive. Some people can't get down here even if they tried."

"Who would want to come down here?" Noelle muttered while sighing in exasperation as a loud "Yeah!" was heard from the other side of the door.

Boss's sister blinked in surprise. "For the Mari Gold, of course."

At the mention of gold, Sammy's ears perked up. A delighted gleam entered his light blue eyes. "Gold? Where? I want gold!" He began to jump up and down in excitement.

"That's really annoying," said Boss's sister icily. "I think you should stop before I split your head open."

Sammy froze in mid-jump, subconsciously covered his head and shrank away behind Noelle, his enthusiasm draining away as soon as it had come. He was in no hurry to get his head split open and something told him Boss's sister would do exactly that.

"So…" began Noelle, edging away from the frightened Sammy, "what exactly is the Mari Gold?" She walked around, twisting and turning with Sammy following and making sure she was in between him and Boss's sister. An irritated Noelle finally just stood still, glaring at the boy behind her.

Boss's sister, slightly amused, threw yet another dart which impaled the previous one, creating a line of three. "Well, according to legend, there was an ancient race of people who lived underground—"

"Really? Did they live here?" asked Sammy, his fear forgotten. That fear came back when Boss's sister gave him a frightening glare. Sammy decided it was best if he stayed behind Noelle.

"You know what? Just read the book. That'll tell you everything." Boss's sister took out a small knife a hurled it at the dartboard. It cleanly cut each dart in half and embedded itself into the board. As the halves of the darts fell to the ground, the dartboard cracked and split in two, leaving just the knife protruding from the stone wall.

Sammy gulped. He was very glad the board was not his head. Noelle, however, was unfazed. "What book?"

Boss's sister was busy taking out another dartboard from a black leather suitcase. "Oh, it's called Curse of the Mari Gold. It's back at the long table. You can't miss it." With that, she began throwing darts again. Sammy didn't hesitate to rush out the door.

"Cursed gold," mused Noelle, closing the stone door behind her. "Interesting."

Boss and his crew were nowhere to be seen. Noelle found her eyes drawn to a very large book sitting in the center of the stone table. It was leather-bound with silver gilding. On the cover in large letters were the words _Curse __of__ the__ Mari__ Gold_. How she had completely missed this humongous detail, Noelle had no idea.

"Cool! It's a huge book!" exclaimed Sammy, heaving the cover up. The binding creaked. The first few pages were blank, but then…

"Oh, god," muttered Noelle, performing a facepalm that even Captain Jean-Luc Picard would have admired. "It's a picture book."

* * *

><p>That was a really long time. Just so y'all know, I was incredibly sleep-deprived when I wrote this... yeah, not my best work. Boss speech style is practically how I was talking throughout these four weeks. So in my zombie state, this chapter actually seemed funny. I'm just too lazy to go back and edit stuff.<p>

Next chapter probably won't come until Thanksgiving (The US is awesome for having this holiday where we get loads of turkey) because of all the school work. I write a whole lot better if I have a stomach full of turkey. Why? I think it has something to do with enzymes reacting with turkey molecules. Yes, I failed biology.

Also, now that Tavvy and Sammy have had 5 chapters each, I'd like to hear from my audience. Favorite characters, anyone? Worst characters?At least there are no more mysterious strangers (unless you count Boss's sister, since i haven't named her yet) And I just realized how long my A/Ns are.


	12. Tavvy falls off a cliff, etc

~Tavvy~

"Tundra!" exclaimed the kid from under the table. He rushed out and hugged the Marine. "They want to eat me!"

Tundra patted the boy on the head in a reassuring manner, slightly startled by the sudden welcome. "Don't worry, Cilo. They won't eat you. You're too skinny."

After a few seconds of shocked silence, the boy, Cilo, ran out of the room screaming. A confused Tundra watched him go with a puzzled stare. Was it something he had said?

"Whoa! That was a really loud scream!" shouted Tavvy, removing his fingers from his ears. He looked at Bailey, who hadn't plugged his ears and really couldn't hear anything at the moment.

"Did you say something?" asked Bailey, pounding on the side of his head. He saw Tavvy's mouth moving, but the only thing he could hear were his own thoughts and a loud ringing noise. "Hello?"

"I said," said Tavvy, putting his mouth up to Bailey's ear, "CAN YOU HEAR ME?"

Bailey was blown off his seat, landing on his butt with a sickening thud. His ear was ringing harder than ever and his bottom was seriously hurting. "What was that for? Ow..."

Tundra chuckled. Kids. He smiled at the scene, trying to remember if he had been like this when he was younger.

"Well, you couldn't hear me so I said it louder!" said Tavvy, huffing indignantly.

Bailey gave him a blank look. "Huh? Sorry, didn't catch that."

Tavvy took a deep breath before shouting, "YOU COULDN'T HEAR ME SO I SAID IT LOUDER."

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO SCREAM, YOU IDIOT!"

"OF COURSE I HAVE TO SCREAM! YOU CAN'T HEAR ME!"

"WHAT WAS THAT?"

Before Tavvy could yell his reply, an unfamiliar voice cut into the conversation. It carried a distinct yowl which really bled through during the vowels. "SHUT UP YA NOISY BASTARDS! ALL YER SHOUTIN'S MAKIN' ME HEAD HURT!"

Someone burst through the door, almost squashing Tundra between door and wall. Luckily, the Marine dived aside before meeting such a pathetic end. "Watch it, Oya!" snapped Tundra, gathering himself from the floor. He had had too many surprises for one day and his attitude was beginning to betray the fact.

The newcomer grinned, his extremely long canines partially covered in a brown substance that had to be chocolate. "Whoops! Sorry, me friend!" He then turned an insane, blue gaze towards Tavvy and Bailey. In the blink of an eye, he was beside them, wolfing down a brownie. "New folk, huh? Smells interestin'!" He sniffed the air, his unusually long tongue lolling out.

Oya was about the same age as Tavvy and Bailey. He had a full head of shaggy, black hair. It partially obscured his light blue eyes, which darted around, absorbing every detail. He wore a dark gray jacket with nothing underneath except for his bare torso. Around his neck hung two silver dog tags.

"Whoa! You're the other guy who passed the exam!" exclaimed Tavvy. No one bothered to ask how Tavvy knew this fact.

Oya grinned again. "Yep. Nice ta meet ya! Name's Oyayubinu! Call meeee…Oya!" He made a sweeping bow towards Bailey, then Tavvy. Then he straightened and flung his arms around their shoulders, hugging them close. "Let's hear yers then!"

"Tavvy!" shouted Tavvy, loud and proud. "And I'm not a pirate, just so you know."

"Bailey," mumbled Bailey, trying to breathe while being squashed. Luckily for him, Oya let go. Unluckily for him, Oya decided to ruffle their hair, pushing down on both their heads until they almost fell face flat on the ground.

Oya gave them both a big thumbs up, almost poking their eyes out. "Great! Thumbs are also great, ya know?" A wicked gleam entered his eyes as his mouth opened to speak again.

"Oh, no," groaned Tundra, wrenching open the door. "I am not staying to listen to your stupid lecture about thumbs!" He bolted out, the door closing behind him with a loud click. Oya looked slightly disappointed. But then he remembered his other victims/audience members. The wicked gleam returned.

Bailey didn't want to stick around for a lecture on thumbs. To be honest, this whole Oya character rather freaked him out. Tavvy, on the other hand, was completely unperturbed by the guy. They actually seemed to share a few traits. Those crazy, blue eyes and wild grins, not to mention their incredibly loud voices either. They also had that strange aura around them that Bailey just couldn't put a finger on. And of course, they both liked to eat. Both their mouths were packed with chocolaty goodness.

"Hey," said Tavvy suddenly through his stuffed mouth. He cocked his head to the side. "Do you hear that?"

Bailey shook his head, but Oya tensed. He sniffed and let out a low growl. "Smoke. Somethin's burnin'."

"I don't hear or smell anything," said Bailey. Noticing the serious looks on both of their faces, he began to feel worried. Just what was going on between those two?

"Angry voices," muttered Tavvy.

"Real bad cologne," Oya added.

"Some man screaming his head off."

"Stinky blood. Lots of it."

They turned to each other. A disturbing smile lit their faces. "Fight!" they shouted at the same time. Both sprinted out the door, leaving poor Bailey, completely confused, with only a platter of brownies for company.

"What the hell…?"

~with Tundra, Nautilus, and Tantalus~

"So…what the hell is going on?" Tundra asked, scratching the back of his head in his usual, confused demeanor.

The twins shrugged in unison. "We'd love to tell you, but we have no clue either." Nautilus removed his hat and placed it on a nearby coat rack next to Tantalus's.

Tundra sighed. He scratched his head again. "Where's Kokie?"

"On vacation," answered someone from the door.

The three men abruptly turned to face Marie and saluted as they did so. "Good afternoon, Rear Admiral," they chorused without much enthusiasm. No one would be too happy to greet the scariest Marine in all of East Blue.

Rear Admiral Marie blushed only slightly upon the sight of Tundra, but then was all down to business. "Pirates. The same ones as last week. Seems like they want revenge for their fallen comrades."

Tantalus rolled his eyes, which were still quite puffy from his allergies, though he seemed to have his sneezing under control. "Idiots. They are just begging to be killed." He flexed his gloved fingers. "Though I have been itching for a good fight. That Tavvy kid really had me pumped up."

Nautilus sneered. "You almost got your ass kicked against that kid," he said, jokingly punching his brother in the shoulder. Tantalus gave his twin an icy glare, his hazel eyes flashing. He grabbed Nautilus's arm and threw him onto the floor.

"Oh, great," Tundra murmured, edging away from the brothers.

Nautilus, still quite winded, struggled to his feet. "I will stay calm," he muttered under his breath as he closed his eyes. "I will stay calm. I _will_ stay…damnit! I'll kill you Tant!"

Tantalus was waiting for it. He easily dodged the water droplet thrown at him, then counterattacked with a swift hand motion. A blast of air hit Nautilus so fast that it felt solid. He slammed into the wall, leaving a crumbling, Nautilus-shaped indent in the plaster.

Marie stood there silently. She remained still, yet an overwhelming sense of irritation began to build inside her.

Nautilus barely dodged another air blast. He smashed his fist into a wall and yanked out a rusting metal pipe. Freezing water blasted through the broken piping within the wall, drenching everyone in the room. Tundra muttered something that couldn't have been polite and stared down at his soaked jacket, trying to squeeze out the water in the blue fur lining. Marie continued to stand still, water dripping from her soggy clothes, as Tantalus reached into his back pocket.

"**Gyojin ****Jujutsu: ****Mizugokoro**," said Nautilus. The water flowed in his hands as if it were cloth. He twirled the water cloth around his head and it elongated into more of a rope shape. It lashed around as if it had a mind of its own. Nautilus pointed to Tantalus and the water rope launched itself at its target. Tantalus yelped and dashed aside, removing a small, shell-like object from his pocket. He thrust it in front of him and at the advancing rope. An arc of blue electricity shot out of the center, passing right through the water and straight towards Nautilus's head. It was impossible to dodge, but fortunately, or maybe unfortunately, Marie stepped between the two. She extended her hand and the electricity traveled down her arm, fizzling out near her feet.

Marie was, in a mild sense, pissed. "That's it! You two are paying for damages! I've taken far too much out of my own paycheck to fix up the damage you do to this place!" Then a malicious glint entered her stormy gray eyes as she smiled cruelly. "And why don't you also pay me back…with interest of course."

The twins paled. Their pay was just enough to manage through the day, having already been restricted by many of Marie's crazy fees (a fee for breathing without permission, a fee for being able to walk on the ground, a fee involving the right to wear clothes, etc.). She had been surprisingly relaxed about their random fights, but perhaps she had just been waiting for the right time to utterly crush their souls.

Tundra gave the two a pitying glance. For some odd reason, he had never been subjected to Marie's money traps. In fact, the Rear Admiral often gave him pay raises, and for strange reasons as well. Who gave a 50,000 beli raise for "being charming"?

The twins were left to their misery as Marie turned her attention to a series of loud booms. They sounded from the northern part of the base, the cargo bay, which faced the ocean and housed many ships. It was also where many other vehicles were stored, including Tundra's bike. Realization dawned on the Marine.

"NO!" he shouted, rushing out of the room. He slammed the door behind him so hard that it shattered.

Marie pointed at the pile of splinters near the door frame. "What's with all this door breaking?" She shook her head. "Okay. You two have to pay for that too."

The twins were about to protest, but the coldness in the Rear Admiral's eyes made them reconsider. The coldness changed into a peculiar curiousity as Marie set off through the empty doorway. The two brothers looked at each other and shrugged. After all, there was a battle to attend.

~with Tavvy and Oya~

"I hear explosions from the north!" Tavvy exclaimed to his new friend, the infamous Collis D. Oyayubinu of Ire Island, the seventeen-year-old who had managed to match the even more infamous Rear Admiral Marie in hand-to-hand combat, and the only known survivor of a dreadful massacre. He somewhat reminded Tavvy of Davy. He had the same crazy grin as his old friend, as well as a hyper attitude and horrible sense of humor. Tavvy didn't realize that those same traits applied to him, but that was to be expected. This was Tavvy after all.

"Yah, there's a really strong smell of gunpowder from that direction," Oya confirmed, sniffing the air as he ran. They sped down the halls of the base with excitement running through their veins. Tavvy's skin tingled with anticipation.

"_Attention__ all __pirates_," came a voice over the speaker system. It wasn't Nautilus. This voice sounded feminine and disturbingly cheerful. "_Hey!__ You__ know,__ it__'__s __kind__ of __mean __to __destroy__ all__ the__ ships __in__ the__ cargo __bay.__ People__ worked__ hard__ in __making __those,__ so __could__ you __please__ attack__ some where __else? __And __also,__ someone__'__s __beloved__ bike__ is __also __there __and__ he__ really __wouldn__'__t __like __it __to __get __damaged.__ Thank __you __for __shopping __at __Walmart!__ This __has __been __a__ special __message __from__ yours __truly.__ Genesis, __signing __out!_"

Tavvy recalled something about that name. "Isn't Genesis a guy?" he asked Oya, pausing to think it over (yes, Tavvy cannot think and run at the same time).

Oya skidded to a halt a few yards ahead. He considered a moment before saying, "Yah! Genesis is a real man!" To emphasize his point, Oya flexed his arms in a manly fashion. He then began to run again.

"But he sounds like a girl," Tavvy stated bluntly. He also began to run.

Oya looked back and shrugged. "Not my problem."

They continued to make their way to the northern part of the base. The halls were empty and betrayed no signs of life. After ten long minutes of running, the two came upon a large, mahogany door. Tavvy stopped as soon as he saw it, but Oya, who hadn't been paying much attention to his surroundings, slammed into the wooden barrier. Luckily, the door remained unharmed.

"Me face…" croaked Oya as he peeled himself from the surface of the door.

Tavvy trotted over and opened the door. He looked down at the raging sea below. He looked up to see blue skies. He looked back and saw Oya sprawled on the carpeted floor of the corridor. Tavvy realized he was standing on a cliff.

"Hey, did we take a wrong turn somewhere?" Tavvy asked. He could still hear a battle somewhere near, but it was mostly masked by the sound of crashing waves.

Oya jumped to his feet and brushed himself off. "Maybe…I was just followin' me nose." He glanced past Tavvy's shoulder. "Is that the ocean? Cool!"

"Damnit!" hissed Tavvy, stomping his foot angrily and glaring at Oya's nose. "We're lost!"

~with Tundra~

For once, Tundra remembered the way to the cargo bay. Maybe the need to protect a loved one/bike had spurred his brain into working correctly. He flung open a door and raced down another hallway. Taking a sudden left turn and quickly jabbing in a security code, he rode an elevator down to the basement. The doors opened to reveal a scene of destruction. Tundra emerged into a large, dimly lit space filled with ships of all shapes and sizes. Or at least, what was left of the ships of all shapes and sizes. The worst part was the blood. It covered the ground and made it quite slippery.

The pirates didn't notice Tundra. They were too busy laughing their heads off. There was definitely something wrong with them.

One of them, an incredibly beefy dude who looked to be the captain, spoke while laughter continued to gurgle out of his crewmates. "Hahahaha! Those Marine bastards didn't even see it coming!" He reached into his pocket and produced a few red pills. They seemed to glow in the scarce light. "It's all thanks to that swan bastard! If he hadn't given us these energy steroids…well, we'd still be stuck in that piece of junk we used to call a ship!" His crewmates laughed in agreement.

Tundra coughed. The pirates turned to face him.

"Looky here!" exclaimed another pirate with an extremely low voice. "Reinforcements?" They began to advance.

Tundra gave them a cold stare. His clear blue eyes were disturbingly bright. They glistened with rage. "You killed many of my friends," Tundra said.

The pirates chortled and slapped their thighs. "Ahahahahaha! Well, now we're even! We used to be fifty-strong! Now look at us. Seven!"

Tundra continued to glare at them and something began to change. His eyes shifted into a light green color, then turned pure gold. He raised a hand and stuck his middle finger at the lead pirate. Nothing happened.

"What's that gonna do?" shouted the pirates, still laughing. Their laughter was unnaturally loud, almost as if it was being forced out of their lungs. They didn't notice the strange feeling in their chests, as if there were strings attached to their torsos and someone was tugging on them.

The elevator doors opened again and Marie burst out. She immediately registered what was going on and took out a pistol. "Stop it, Tundra."

Tundra turned his head towards her and smiled. "We both know that isn't my name," he said, slightly wary of the gun in Marie's hands. The pirates continued to laugh their disgusting laughs. They still advanced towards the Marine.

"I'll have to shoot you," Marie warned, grimacing at the thought. She narrowed her eyes, aiming for a non-vital spot to shoot if she actually needed to pull the trigger.

Tundra (or maybe not Tundra) let out a nervous chuckle. "Alright, alright. Don't shoot. I like this host." Then, he lowered his hand. His eyes began to return to their normal blue. "Just remember, Rear Admiral. No matter how hard you try to stop me, I will claim what is rightfully mine."

Marie gritted her teeth. Tundra blinked at her and scratched his head. "Why…why are you pointing a gun at me?"

"Sorry. Thought you were someone else," Marie muttered, turning her attention to the laughing pirates. Tundra shrugged and also became aware of the pirates. They laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed.

Suddenly, one charged towards Tundra. The Marine barely dodged. He dodged again as the pirate came back around, fists flying. "**Five-Story**** Throne**!" the pirate shouted. Tundra had just enough time to widen his eyes in surprise before the pirate punched him in the jaw from below, raising him off the ground by half a foot. Immediately afterwards, another punch followed, then three more, each launching Tundra even higher into the air. He landed on the ground with a dull thud.

"Ow!" exclaimed Tundra, rubbing his chin. "That hurt worse then chewing on a jawbreaker."

The pirate made to continue attacking, but Marie shot him in the shoulder. The pirate turned, eyes glazed. He grinned crookedly and advanced towards Marie, not even the least bit concerned about his bleeding shoulder.

Marie watched him calmly. "Use of ESC's (energy steroid capsules) is illegal according to Amendment Number Forty-six," she stated. "You're under arrest."

Not that the pirate cared. He would have attacked, but just then, the cargo bay began to tremble and someone from high above shouted, "**TAKIGAWA**!"

~with Tavvy~

Tavvy hadn't planned on falling. In fact, he wouldn't have done so if Oya hadn't fallen first. The idiot had grabbed onto Tavvy's legs when he slipped, so they both fell off the cliff. How Oya had slipped, Tavvy would have liked to know. There hadn't been anything to slip on!

"AIEEEEE!" Oya screamed into the wind.

"AIEEEEE!" Tavvy screamed into the wind.

"AIEEEEE!" they screamed in unison into the wind.

There was nothing to break their fall, besides the ocean beneath. As they drew nearer to the ground, Tavvy and Oya realized they would actually be crashing into the huge rock platform that jutted out near the base of the cliff. They looked at each other as realization dawned. "AIEEEEE!"

"We're gonna dieeeee!" Oya howled, throwing a tantrum in midair.

Tavvy considered the situation. "But what if we attack that rock? I learned from Ivan-sama's physics class that if you hit something, it will return all the force you hit it with! Maybe it'll slow us down!"

Oya stopped his tantrum and thought about it for a whole, half second. "Okay! Better than nothin'!"

Tavvy grinned. "**TAKIGAWA**!" he shouted, shoving his arms towards the slab of rock below him. Energy rippled through the air. It hit the rock and sent an equally strong blast of force back at the two fallers. They were lifted for a moment and hung in the air, but then continued the downwards descent at an even faster rate. Tavvy, not knowing what else to do, attacked the rock again. "**TAKIGAWA**!"

"No, stupid! Stop attackin'!" Oya shouted.

"You have any better ideas?"

"No, but yer makin' it worse!"

"**TAKIGAWA**!"

They were now frighteningly close to the rock.

"**Takigawa**, **Takigawa**, **TAKIGAWA**!"

And the rock shattered from Tavvy's attacks.

"Tak—oh, it's hollow!" exclaimed Tavvy.

Oya stared. "That's the cargo bay! Ya destroyed the cargo bay!"

"Oops…"

The ruins of the cargo bay rushed up to meet them almost as if in revenge.

~with Bailey~

Bailey had heard the announcement made by Genesis. He had assumed Tavvy and Oya had sped off to the cargo bay, where the fighting was going on. Fearing the destruction those two would cause, Bailey had rushed to find directions to the cargo bay. When he stumbled out of the elevator, he was greeted by the sight of Tavvy and Oya, still several hundreds of feet up, falling from the sky and screaming their heads off.

Bailey worked quickly. He noticed a pile of unused sails in the corner that had somehow escaped the carnage of the battle. Tying one end of a sail to a large, broken mast, he ran over to another and tied the corner there. Tavvy and Oya were now only about thirty yards from the ground. Bailey spread out the sail and pulled it taught, closing his eyes just in case the two didn't make it.

Tavvy bounced off the sail and landed on his butt. The impact jarred his entire body. Oya bounced a few times before plopping onto the ground on all fours. Bailey let out a sigh of relief and released the sail from his grasp. It was only after wiping his brow and sitting down on a chunk of rock that he noticed the rubble, the pirates, and the two other Marines.

"Hey! It's T-Tun…Tun," Tavvy stuttered. "Aw, man! Tun-something!"

Marie glared with her stormy gray eyes. "You. Completely. Destroyed. The. Cargo. Bay. You. Will. Pay. You. Insolent. Child."

Tavvy gulped. He tugged on his collar nervously. "Uh…sorry?"

"SORRY DOESN'T CUT IT!"

"WE'RE SORRY!" shrieked Tantalus and Nautilus, who had just arrived at the scene. When they realized Marie hadn't been talking to them, they relaxed and glared daggers for hugging each other in fright.

Oya was enjoying himself. "It's just a huge partaaay!" he exclaimed, holding up a brownie. He shoved it down his throat and licked his lips, tongue lolling out. After swallowing, he let out a long, wolf-like howl. This act seemed to drive the pirates into attacking.

"Whoa!" exclaimed Tavvy, counting the pirates and Marines on his fingers. "There's seven pirates and seven of us! Seven plus seven is fourteen!"

"WE ALL KNOW THAT!" both pirates and Marines shouted at the white-haired boy.

Tavvy blushed. "I just thought it was cool how everyone can fight one-on-one."

He was ignored and shoved aside by the twins, who removed their gloves in perfect unison, flinging them to the side. Oya was transforming, fur growing all over his body and claws elongating from his fingernails. Marie had tossed aside her pistol and held up her fists, punching the air experimentally. Even Bailey was ready for battle, spinning his string of rings above his head. Tundra scratched his head, then almost burst into tears upon discovering his bike, completely unharmed, behind the ravaged hull of a large ship.

Seeing everyone so invigorated, Tavvy grinned and extended an arm. Energy pulsated from his outstretched hand. "Alright! Let's do this!"

* * *

><p>Wow. Did I say Thanksgiving? This is actually a fairly long chapter for me. 3800+ words! I'm so proud of myself!<p>

Can anyone guess what DF Oya has? The clue is mainly in his name. Oh, and "oyayubi" means thumb and "inu" means dog, so "oyayubinu" is thumb dog! I just found it kind of funny since my dog has always wanted thumbs. And dogs can't have chocolate, so it's also kind of funny to me how Oya makes chocolate brownies.

The big battle between Marines and the crazy pirates on drugs will unfold in the next Tavvy chapter! Meanwhile, Sammy sits down and reads a book. This is the point where we see the differences between these two.


	13. CMG Arc: The Dynamite

~Sammy~

Sammy wasn't much of a reader. That is why he loved this book. He could figure out everything by looking at the pictures. It was a brilliant concept and Sammy wanted to know just who had invented picture books. They were so much easier to read than those fat books Ivan had made him read back at home.

Noelle, on the other hand, did not share Sammy's love of simplicity. Sure, the artwork wasn't bad, but she just couldn't take it seriously, especially since it was such a serious story.

_Once __upon __a __time, __there __lived __a __race __of __people __called __the __Mari __who__ fled __underground__ to __escape __the __wrath __of __the __world._ _The __Mari __built __a __huge __city __made __of__ stone__ and__ for __a__ long__ time,__ the__ Mari__ lived__ peacefully __in__ their__ underground__ home_. Drawings of a large city decorated the pages. Every person smiled. Some danced around happily, while others worked on construction.

_But __one __day, __pirates __found __the __entrance __to__ the __underground __city __and __raided __the __Mari__'__s __home_. The drawings showed a stereotypical looking pirate with a wooden peg for a leg leading a band of other pirates into the city. The Mari people ran away from the pirates, screaming. Many buildings were demolished and people were killed.

_The __pirates __stole __the__ Mari__'__s__ most__ precious__ treasure:__ the__ Mari__ Gold!__ But__ they __didn__'__t __know__ about__ the__ curse.__ Once __away __from__ its __people, __the__ gold__ makes __strange__ things__ happen __in__ order__ to __return __home_. A bunch of pirates carried a large, golden flower on their backs. The scene changed to a ship out at sea. It was struck by lightning, caught in a tempest, and many more terrible things that could happen to a ship happened. A single pirate floated to a nearby island on a piece of driftwood, somehow managing to hold onto the golden flower. The pirate built a large mansion on the island and lived happily for quite some time. The drawings showed the mansion rotting and the sea rising until only the mansion was left above water. The pirate, under some sort of hypnosis, dug through the ground and constructed an extremely long staircase leading to the main gates of the Mari people's city.

"Hey!" exclaimed Sammy. "Isn't that the staircase we went down?"

Noelle rolled her eyes for the third time that day. "I don't know. Is it?"

Sammy pondered for a bit. "Uh, maybe?"

Noelle decided to ignore her companion and continued to read.

_The __Mari __Gold __had__ finally__ reunited__ with __its __people,__but __things__ were__ very __different_…The stone city of the Mari had been rebuilt, but it was dull compared to the previous version. Everyone frowned as they walked and there were no bright colors. The next few pages had obviously been drawn in more recently since the artwork was of very poor quality and the writing style didn't quite match:

_Things __were__ calm __for__ a __long__ time,__ yeah, __but __more __pirates __discovered __the __underground __city __and __invaded, __yeah.__ The __leader __of __these __pirates,__ yeah, __was __no __other __than __Redbeard, __the __Pirate__ King, __yeah, __yeah_.

"WHAT THE HELL?" shrieked Sammy, turning away from the book in disgust. "THERE WAS NO FREAKING PIRATE KING NAMED REDBEARD."

"WHAT THE HELL?" shouted Noelle, slamming the book shut and rubbing her eyes. "THESE YEAHS ARE SO ANNOYING."

The two stood there, seething. They were so furious that neither of them noticed the slender figure behind them until he said, "I know, right?"

Sammy's hair stood on end. Noelle's hair was too long to stand on end, but it did its best.

"Sorry!" the person apologized, slipping into their view. "I didn't mean to spook you."

Sammy recovered immediately, his hair returning to its previous state. "Spooked? Me? Haha, you're funny!" His cheeks reddened as the man stared at him, eyebrows raised. "Uh, I was acting."

The tall and lanky figure nodded slowly, his face displaying a dubious expression. He was about thirty years old with short, curly black hair and deep tan skin. He wore a black, hooded cloak embroidered with gold thread. Underneath his cloak, he dressed in a stained white shirt and shabby brown pants. A sheathed saber was slung through the maroon sash wrapped around his waist.

"Who are you?" Noelle asked, rather impolitely. She tried to remain dignified, even though her some of her shorter hairs still stuck up.

The man cautiously looked around him. Feeling safe, he spoke. "My real name is rather stupid, so I'd like it if you'd just call me—"

Boss's sister interrupted him. "NOAH!" The stone door flew open and she stormed out, an air of extreme ferocity surrounding her. "I will kill you if you don't give me back my glasses, _right __now_!"

Everyone jumped about five feet into the air and Sammy's hair stood up again. He didn't like how this lady scared him more than Ivan's calculus worksheets.

Noah turned, slightly irritated. "You don't even need glasses!" he yelled back. He didn't even flinch as Boss's sister glared and tensed her muscles.

"They're mine!" she growled. Swiftly, Boss's sister threw one of her darts. Noah barely dodged it as it sped only millimeters from his forehead.

Noah smiled pleasantly and spread his arms in peaceful manner. "Really, Caprilla. Let's try to be sensible!" At his words, Boss's sister, Caprilla, promptly punched him in the face. As Noah fell to the ground, she snatched a pair of glasses from his pocket.

At that moment, Boss decided to reappear along with about twenty other people. They stopped when they saw Caprilla's raised fist, poised to strike again, and Noah sprawled on the ground. One of Boss's followers pointed at the man. "Hey! It's the magpie!"

Sammy blinked. "What's a magpie?" he asked Noelle.

"A type of bird that collects a bunch of random things."

"But he's not a bird!"

"Yes, Sammy. I can see that."

Noah, his cheek swollen, stood up and brushed himself off. "I'm not a magpie. My name is Noah. If you had any memory capacity, you would have remembered that from last month!" he spat, glaring at the group of people in front of him. His bright green eyes seemed to carry a special hatred towards Boss, since they glittered dangerously when their eyes met.

Boss stepped up. "Well, well. The magpie had the nerve to come back again, yeah?" He sneered, baring his teeth.

"Must I repeat myself?" groaned Noah. He pointed at Boss with a long, spindly finger. "I am _not_ a magpie, you stupid, arrogant, simple-minded caveman!"

Boss's face turned a bright prink. "Now, now. What did you just call me, yeah?" he growled.

The air hummed with tension, but two people in the gathering sighed exasperatedly. Both Sammy and Noelle were fairly annoyed. This really wasn't any of their business, yet they were stuck underground with some crazy people and a huge, ridiculous book. Most of all, Sammy was hungry. His stomach growled intensely, breaking the tension in the air. Everyone turned to stare at him.

"Sorry," he mumbled self-consciously. He placed a protective hand over his still rumbling belly. "I'm just super hungry!"

Noelle rolled her eyes yet again. She was quite surprised when something zoomed past her and hit Sammy on the side of the head. A chess piece clattered to the floor.

Sammy felt a warm liquid trickle into his ear. It was a very uncomfortable feeling. Only after he had moved to wipe it away did he realize it was blood. He stared at the red on his hand, then wiped it off on a nearby chair and wondered who had thrown the queen at him. If anything, it should have been the bishop since it had a pointier end.

Boss's arm whipped around from its outstretched position and struck Noah in the chin, sending him stumbling backwards. Noah barely regained his balance before Boss lashed out again.

"Honestly, Hammer!" exclaimed Noah. He caught Boss's incoming fist with a single hand and threw him to the ground. Blowing a stray strand of hair from his face, Noah set his hands on his hips. "At least try to act civilized!"

Boss grunted in response and aimed another punch at Noah's head. Noah dodged and kicked Boss's legs out from under him. One of Boss's followers launched himself at Noah, only to be punched squarely in the jaw and sent flying right back to his comrades. They managed to catch the flailing man, but not without all of them toppling over. After recovering for a few moments, they all charged.

Caprilla tried to stifle a laugh as Noah merely stepped backwards, causing Boss and his friends to crash into each other. Noah sighed and stepped away from the mess of people on the ground. He turned to Caprilla and shrugged. "That was interesting." And then the ground began to rumble.

~aboveground~

A burst of dirt and smashed rock exploded into the air. Two people watched the destruction from afar.

"This is absolutely ridiculous," said Glossy, a man of average height with bulging arm muscles and short, fair hair. He, along with the other, leaned against the railing of a large ship. The man turned to his friend. "A city? Underground? Crikey, mate. Do you really believe that?"

The person beside him sighed. "Just shut up, Glossy. Gargon isn't stupid, you know." Glossy's companion sighed again and picked up a stick of dynamite. Stamped in black letters was the word "danger" in all capitols. Quite an appropriate label.

Glossy frowned and scratched his beardless chin. "I don't know. He's always struck me as a kind of stupid person." He started as a huge paw of a hand landed heavily on his shoulder.

"I heard that, Glossy," growled a deep, rumbling voice. Glossy slowly turned and found himself staring upwards at a giant man with beady, brown eyes. His glistening bald head reflected the high noon sunlight, turning itself into a shining beacon. Gargon sneered and jabbed a chubby finger into Glossy's face. The fingernail was chipped and a tinted a nasty shade of yellow. "I'll pound you next time I overhear you bullshitting about me."

Glossy was about to reply with a witty remark, probably provoking a fight, but his friend cut him off with a wave of the dynamite stick. "Stop arguing, you two. Gargon, I'm putting my trust on your judgment. Are you certain there's a city underground…with _gold_?"

"I'm most certainly, certain! If I weren't so certain, I wouldn't have requested this from you, Commander Gala!" Gargon replied with all earnestly.

Commander Gala smiled. Her coal black eyes, two seemingly bottomless pits of darkness, turned to the large man behind her. "Gargon…"

"Yes, Commander?"

Gala straightened to her full height, rubbing her eyes. "Get a hat. Your head is blinding me."

~underground~

The shaking soon stopped.

"Earthquake?" suggested Noelle.

Noah and Caprilla both shook their heads.

"Stampeding dinosaurs!" exclaimed Sammy.

Noah and Caprilla raised an eyebrow in unison.

"There are no dinosaurs in East Blue," said Caprilla.

"Besides," Noah began, "it was an explosion. The vibrations were fairly brief and from above."

Sammy's eyes moistened. "But I like dinosaurs." He seemed to be on the verge of crying and let out a small sniffle.

Noah hurriedly groped around in his pockets. After a while, he withdrew a small figurine of a stegosaurus. "Here you go! This is a stegosaurus. It—"

"Stegosaurus!" Sammy exclaimed, snatching the figurine from the hands of a startled Noah and staring at it in awe. He hugged it and rubbed it against his cheek. "I'm gonna name you Steggy!"

Caprilla cleared her throat rather noisily and shuffled away from the still transfixed Sammy. "Anyways, I'm going to head up to the surface to check out what's going on."

This caught the attention of both Sammy and Noelle. "Surface?"

"Aboveground," Noah added with the intent of being helpful.

Noelle slammed her fist into his face. "I know what she means! I'm not stupid, unlike—" she paused and glanced at Sammy, who had a confused expression on his face and scratched his head as he tried to decipher Caprilla's words, "—other people." She then quietly apologized to Noah, who now had two swollen cheeks. "How do you even get to the surface without taking those stairs?"

Noah was about to explain, but another explosion rattled everyone's bones. It seemed much stronger than the last. Noah and Caprilla exchanged concerned glances.

"It's almost right above us," noted Caprilla, unfolding her glasses and sliding them onto her face. "All that's up there is an island covered in unmapped jungle. Why would someone want to blow it up?" Although she had posed a rhetorical question, she received three answers.

"Maybe they're clearing land for commercial use," said Noah.

"Or someone's just really mad," grumbled Noelle.

"Dinosaurs!" This was from Sammy.

Caprilla would have shouted something rude at the three for being so dense, but an even stronger tremor shook the place. After the vibrating stopped, she crossed her arms and gritted her teeth.

"That's it! These explosions are so annoying!" She stormed off down a stone hallway. "Once I find out who's doing this, I'll tie them to a block of dynamite and blow them up! Let's see how they like it!"

Noah hurried after her. "No! Killing people is unethical, Caprilla. What about your guilty conscience?"

"TO HELL WITH MY GUILTY CONSCIENCE!"

"Oh, don't say that! Wait…where'd you get that dynamite?"

After a small explosion originating from the corridor Caprilla and Noah had disappeared into, Sammy decided to follow and find what all the fuss was about. Noelle soon found herself alone in the room with a bunch of guys laying on the floor, unconscious. Then Boss began to stir. "Ow, ow. My head hurts a lot, yeah?"

Clutching her ears, Noelle ran to catch up to everyone else, all the while shouting, "I hate that word! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!"

~aboveground~

Gargon readjusted his new red and black cap before planting another stick of dynamite into the ground. He huffed and wiped his sweat-beaded brow with the back of his hand. Beside him, Glossy did the same. They caught each other's eyes and glared for a moment, then resumed with their work.

Gala twirled a dynamite stick around her fingers, watching the two with a bored expression. "Can't you two move any faster? My favorite DDMV (den den mushi vision) show is starting in fifteen minutes."

Glossy sighed and set down his load of dynamite. "Ya know, Gala. Things would go a lot faster if you helped out," he said, straightening. Gargon glanced between the two and decided not to get involved.

"I'll get my clothes dirty. Besides," Gala said, pausing to smile pleasantly, "I'm your commander. All the dirty work is up to my underlings."

Scowling, Glossy rolled up the sleeves of his denim jacket another centimeter. He shoved a stick of dynamite into the ground and viciously stomped on it with his steel-bottomed boots. And the dynamite promptly exploded, sending Glossy flying through the air. Any normal man would have been blown to pieces, but then again, Glossy wasn't such an ordinary man.

"I meant to do that!" Glossy shouted indignantly from a clump of bushes. His foot stuck up in the air, the boot deformed and smoldering.

Gala yawned. She shook her head in exasperation and hopped down from the rock she had been sitting on. Her landing was graceful; not even the slightest noise could be heard as her feet came into contact with the ground.

"Well, I might as well assist you slowpokes. One of you is injured and the other works at the pace of a two-legged turtle." She glanced meaningfully at Gargon, who had made little progress while watching Glossy almost kill himself. The large man smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry, Commander," he mumbled, hurriedly stuffing a few sticks into the soil.

A smile persisted on Gala's lips as she waltzed around merrily, throwing sticks of dynamite into the soft ground with such force that they instantly sank deep beneath the surface. She soon reached the mouth of a large cave. It would have seemed like just another natural rock formation if not for the small torch which burned brightly beside a stone door in the back of the cave. Curious, Gala approached the door, examining the smooth surface with her dusky eyes. After a few seconds, she heard the sound of shouting voices behind the door. Just in time, she jumped back as the stone slab burst outwards.

"SHUT UP, NOAH. YOU ANNOY ME!"

Gala hid behind the thick trunk of a tree as a procession of four people passed by.

"Let's just calm down, Caprilla," said a tall, skinny man with curly hair. His voice was soft and soothing, though the woman he was trying to calm didn't bother to listen.

"I don't WANT to calm down!"

Two teenagers trailed behind, listening to the argument in amusement. One was a boy with black hair and a skull t-shirt, while the other was a short girl with a long, silver braid down her back. Gala, initially startled by the interruption of her relatively peaceful day, began to smile once again. "How exciting!" she whispered to herself, anticipation lighting her dark eyes. She fingered the handles of what looked to be extremely large scissors slung through her leather belt on either side, then followed the foursome to where Gargon stood.

Upon seeing the giant hunched over with over a dozen sticks of dynamite in his arms, Caprilla finally snapped. She laughed and pointed at the man. "So! You're the one who's been annoying me with those annoying explosions!" Gargon looked up and accidentally dropped his load of dynamite onto the ground.

"Who are you?" he asked, before barely dodging a dart aimed straight for his head. In the process, his hat slipped off, reflecting the sunlight into Caprilla's eyes. They stumbled back in opposite directions.

Noah stepped between the two. "Now, Caprilla. It's always best to hear both sides of the story before doing anything rash. You should apologize to this man for—" He was interrupted by a fist in the jaw. "OW!"

Caprilla's glasses were now tinted from exposure to the sun. She looked directly at Gargon's bald head and grinned. "Your tricks won't work anymore, BALDY."

Upon hearing that word, a growl escaped from Gargon's throat. "WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?" he roared.

Caprilla sneered. "Hehe. Baldy!"

Enraged, Gargon charged, only to be stopped by Gala's cool voice. "No, Gargon. That won't do."

Everyone turned. Sammy immediately tensed, sensing a strong opponent. Noah laid a hand on the hilt of his saber and drew out the blade by half a centimeter.

Gala smiled, her perfectly lined teeth clearly visible. She looked to be in her early thirties, her long, wavy hair a vivid red. In her right hand, she twirled a pair of gigantic scissors around her pinky finger. Her other pair hung on her wrist through one hoop.

"You!" exclaimed Noah, taking a large step forward. "You're the one who stole my favorite coat!" He indicated the large, black trench coat Gala wore.

"And you stole my stegosaurus figurine. I'd say we're even," replied Gala, her eyes flashing. She stopped spinning her scissors and pointed them at Noah. "Return Steggy at once!"

Noah frowned. "That's all you want? I'm sorry. I didn't know it was your figurine." He turned to Caprilla with a satisfied air about him. "See? That's how you apologize to someone." That earned him a smack in the face.

Sammy clenched the stegosaurus figurine to his chest, backing away from his adversary. "No! You can't have him!" he shouted at the red-haired woman. "Steggy is mine now. All mine!"

Noelle almost gasped at her companion's selfishness. Then she realized it wasn't so surprising and she might as well get used to it.

Gala's eyes flashed dangerously. She snipped her scissors in a threatening demeanor. "Oh, really? You'll hand it over…because I'm a commander in the Marine Corps, and I will send the entire army after you!"

Sammy waved the threat away. "No way! You're not in the Marines! You're a pirate, just like me and Noelle!"

For a moment, all that could be heard was the chirping of a lone cricket. Gargon cast an alarmed look at his commander. He received an equally alarmed look in return.

"How do you know that?"

Sammy placed Steggy on the palm of his hand and studied the large plates on its back before answering. "You just look like a pirate. So does Big Dude and that guy with his leg in the air over there." He gestured to Gargon and Glossy.

Gala turned at stared at Glossy's foot in realization. "Oh! I forgot about his existence! Gargon, would you kindly help Glossy get to his feet?"

"About time!" snapped the irritated Glossy. "Hurry up! My leg's losing blood circulation!"

Gargon didn't move since Caprilla stood between him and his goal. A fiendish glint still danced around in her eyes, which highly agitated him. Glossy groaned and the bush he currently resided in began to shake. "Blimey, mate! Just get me out of this damned shrub!"

Gala sighed and directed her attention back towards Sammy. "Alright. You got me there. I'm not a Marine," she admitted, another smile playing on her lips. Again, she started spinning her scissors. "But I'll still butcher you into a thousand pieces if you don't hand over my stegosaurus!"

Sammy pouted. "B-b-but..."

Completely fed up with being the voice of reason, Noah snatched the figurine from Sammy's palm and tossed it to Gala, who caught it with one hand. "Here! Take it. And would you please stop with the explosions?"

Sammy turned and drove his fist into Noah's face, jumping in the air in order to do so, due to Noah's height. The tall figure stumbled backwards and drew his sword.

"You dino-napped Steggy!" screamed Sammy, charging at Noah with his fist raised.

"WHAT THE HELL?" shrieked Noah as he sidestepped another incoming blow. "Children these days!"

Gargon took this opportunity to attack the distracted Caprilla. "**Stone**** Shredder**!" He slashed downwards with all his might. Caprilla jumped aside, but her hand met Gargon's and his fingers tore through her skin.

"Shit!" Caprilla hissed, looking down at her injured hand. "There's something wrong with his fingers."

Gargon grinned evilly at her reaction and cracked his knuckles.

Meanwhile, Sammy continued to attack Noah. "You bastard! What did Steggy ever do to you?"

Noah leapt backwards and skidded across the ground to Glossy's bush. "It's not yours, though!"

Sammy howled in rage. "Of course he's mine! You're just jealous that Steggy likes me more than you!"

"It's not alive. Plus, I don't even have the figurine anymore!" shouted Noah. He pointed to Gala, who was busy cleaning her fingernails. "She has it!"

Noah's words managed to reach Sammy's brain. He turned to Gala and saw his inanimate stegosaurus friend on her shoulder.

Noah sighed with relief as Sammy rushed at Gala. He then heard the quiet but sure click of a gun and slowly rotated 180 degrees. Glossy bared his teeth and gestured wildly with his pistol. "Oi, lowlife! Help me up before I shoot you!"

Sammy yelled, "GIVE BACK STEGGY!" before pounding both his fists into the ground just in front of Gala. Unperturbed, the red-haired pirate examined her nails once more. Sammy swung his legs, hoping to swipe Gala's legs out from under her.

Gala merely hopped back as his legs came around. "It's just a figurine. No need to get so upset, kid."

Sammy straightened and held up a clenched fist towards his opponent. "**Kizuato:**** Level**** 1**!" Suddenly, he opened his hand, sending a wave of energy slamming into Gala. She flew backwards, breaking through a few small trees before hitting a larger one. She rose unsteadily from the indent she had made in the trunk and glared at Sammy with obvious venom.

"You just made a really big mistake, kid," she growled. "Don't underestimate pirates of the strongest pirate crew of the entire world."

"Huh?"

"Lead by the Yonkou, 'Grave Digger' Obsidius, you dunce!" shouted Gala, spinning both pairs of scissors at a frightening speed. "The Gravestone Pirates!"

* * *

><p>Hey there! Long time no see! Life is complicated, so long story short: I finally wrote the chapter. To make up for being so late, it's a bit longer than usual.<p>

The picture book is supposed to be super fake-sounding and incredibly cheesy. I came up with the idea while watching my dog bury marigolds underground, then dig them up again and then bury them again (he's not the most intelligent canine, as you can very well see).

And don't get me started on the names in this chapter. Caprilla? Gala? GLOSSY? What was I thinking about when I wrote this thing? At least Gargon's name was based off of gorgon because his head is blinding if you look directly at it and Noah (like Noah's ark) collects random things, hence his nickname "magpie"

Alright, folks. College students out there, whenever your finals are, I wish you all good luck! Break a leg y'all!


	14. Tavvy threatens to take off his pants

~Tavvy~

"HOLY SHIT!" exclaimed Tavvy as a pirate dove at him. "WHAT'S WITH YOUR EAR?" Indeed, the pirate had a strange right ear. It stuck out at a right angle and looked roughly like a triangle. Even stranger was the fact that his other ear was perfectly normal. Having been so distracted, Tavvy found his face millimeters from a jagged steel blade. He jerked backwards.

The pirate laughed, his giggles high-pitched and squeaky. "Teehee! Go ahead and scream, boy!" He lunged again his sword a flash of silver against the darkness of the ruined cargo bay.

Tavvy jumped straight up, gaining much more air than he had intended. The strange-eared pirate waited as he looked desperately for a safe landing spot.

Milliseconds from reaching the expecting sword of the pirate, Tavvy shouted, "**Manchou**!" He thrust his spread hand towards the pirate, pressure mounting underneath his palm, but either the pirate didn't feel it or he didn't care.

"WATCH OUT, TAVVY!" shouted a familiar voice. Tavvy let out a small squeak as he saw Bailey come hurtling towards him from being flung to the side by one of the pirates. Bailey crashed into Tavvy and they both collided into the triangle-eared pirate. Seconds later, a strong arm heaved all three into the air and threw them at a smashed ship.

"**Gyojin ****Jujutsu:**** Mizugokoro**." A sheet of water wrapped around both Tavvy and Bailey and stopped them from smashing into the ship. The weird-eared pirate was not so lucky and a terrible crack echoed across the cargo bay as he slammed into the ragged planks.

Nautilus laughed. "Right! One down and six more to go!" He then cursed as two pirates launched themselves at him. The water around him materialized into a large broadsword. Nautilus grasped the hilt with both hands and swung the blade in an arc. The pirates barely dodged the water blade by just stopping outside its reach. They snarled and crept closer to the Marine, this time much more carefully. Occupied with this new problem, Nautilus forgot all about Tavvy and Bailey. The water released the two and they fell to the ground with a loud thump.

"**Strongman ****Barrage**!" shouted the pirate who had thrown them in the first place. A very buff man, the pirate charged at them, fists flying. Two shocks of bleached white hair stuck out from his head roughly shaped like moose antlers.

Tavvy dodged easily, but Bailey was not as fast. He howled in pain as several blows landed on his head and chest.

"Leave Bailey alone, you moose!" Tavvy yelled. He lunged at the large man, his arm raised and prepared to strike. "**Kobushi**** no**** Shio**!"

The moose man, who had heard Tavvy's yelling, turned and as quick as lightning, grasped Tavvy's wrist with a pudgy hand. He squeezed and Tavvy yelped. The moose man then proceeded to fling the white-haired boy at Tantalus, who was currently engaged with a scrawny man sporting a gigantic walrus mustache. Tantalus didn't even have time to shout as Tavvy tackled him to the ground. The two rolled head over heels until they came to a rest near someone's feet.

"What's the big idea?" growled Tantalus, shoving Tavvy off him. He probably saved Tavvy's life. Marie, who had just been about to punch her adversary in the face, tripped over Tantalus's outstretched leg and landed face first onto the ground.

"TANTALUS!" she roared, propping herself onto her elbows and turning her head to glare ferociously at the commander. "I WON'T PAY YOU FOR FIVE WHOLE MONTHS!" She then kicked the poor fellow into the air and he landed right on top of his twin. The two then began to bicker.

Tavvy didn't have time to sit and gawk. The moose pirate had begun his charge and Tavvy sat directly on his path. Huffing, he leapt aside, skidding to a halt about ten yards away. This didn't stop the moose man however, since the pirate, though large, was actually very quick. He swung his large fist at Tavvy and the teen only barely managed to block the crushing blow with his arms. The impact pushed him a few inches, painfully reminding him of the stomach wound he had received from Nautilus earlier that day.

"**Kizuato**!" Tavvy growled as the moose pirate continued to force him backwards. He placed his palm on the man's chest. "**Level**** 2**!" A sound resembling an explosion of flour could be heard before the moose man stumbled backwards, completely stunned. Then he began to laugh.

"AHAHAHAHAHA! That was nothing!"

Tavvy averted his eyes. The last time he had used this attack on a person, the results had not been pretty. All of a sudden, the pirate choked. Foam gathered near the edges of his mouth and his eyes rolled back in his head. He shuddered just once, then toppled onto the cracked stone floor. Tavvy closed his eyes and concentrated. It was faint, but he could here the man's heartbeat. Sighing in relief, he rushed back to the battle.

~with Tundra and his beloved bike (and another pirate)~

"Hey, Lima Ferdmore," Tundra called to the captain of the Goat Hoof Pirates. "Where'd you get the ESC's?"

Ferdmore grinned, revealing his slightly green teeth. "That's none of your business, 'Cavalry' Tundra," he sneered. A short burst of laughter escaped from his throat and he doubled over, clutching his belly.

Tundra looked at the pirate with disgust. "It is entirely my business," he snapped. "You're endangering the lives of many people."

Ferdmore must not have heard. Drool dribbled down his chin as he continued to laugh uncontrollably.

Tundra extended his hand towards his bike and unclasped a long, cloth-wrapped stick of sorts. He removed the cloth, revealing a bare, four-foot long blade. The hilt was made of a white metal wrapped with green leather. It bore no crosspiece and thin tendrils of the metal seemed to climb up the blade like ivy. The blade itself was black and embossed with thousands of tiny circles. Tundra tucked the cloth into his pocket and brought his sword to his eyes. He gently blew away a small speck of dust that had landed on the blade.

Seeing his opponent's actions, Ferdmore paused in his laughter to draw his own weapon, a crude and ugly sword covered in filth with many nicks along its edges. Someone hadn't bothered to keep it in good condition.

With a small sigh of admiration, Tundra reluctantly turned his gaze from his blade to the pirate. The sudden change took him quite aback. This pirate captain was genuinely ugly. He had a serious balding problem and his mouth was far too small for his dinner plate-shaped face. The worst feature of his was probably his pointy nose, which stuck out like a miniature ice cream cone.

"I can't cut him with Yukitsuta!" Tundra realized with a jolt. He plucked the cloth from his pocket and began to wrap his sword. "He's way too ugly. What was I thinking?" He shook his head in wonderment. He couldn't be so careless in the future. "Yukitsuta would've gotten stained."

Ferdmore didn't wait for Tundra to finish packaging his weapon. He lunged towards the Marine, a low chuckle forming in his throat. Tundra, who forgot completely about the pirate, jumped back as the captain sped past. Ferdmore couldn't stop his forward momentum. Time seemed to slow as he neared Tundra's bike. A flash of worry, then searing pain shot through Tundra's head and he stumbled forward, letting out a small cry. The next thing he knew, he was standing beside his bike, arm outstretched with his bloodied sword in hand. Ferdmore was surely dead, lying in a puddle of his own blood. At first, Tundra blinked in surprise. Then, he smiled slightly and twirled his blade with such speed that the blood flew off, not a single drop remaining on the dark metal.

Tundra found the cloth back in his pocket. As he again wrapped the cloth around his weapon, he caught his own eye in his reflection in the blade. It was faint, but sure. Tundra stared at his reflection, devoid of emotion, as he watched his eyes turn back to blue.

~with Tavvy and the twins~

"I almost got killed by Rear Admiral Marie! Can't you pity me for once?"

"I'll pity you once you're dead! In fact, I'll help you gain my pity if you want!"

"No, I don't want to die, you son of a—no, wait. If your mom is a female dog, then my mom is a female dog!"

"Your mom is a female dog?" Nautilus paused to think. "But if your mom is a female dog, and your mom is my mom, then my mom is a female dog! How dare you call our mother a female dog?"

Tavvy scratched his head, utterly confused. He really hated it when these two argued.

"I never called Mommy a female dog! I mean, I was about to, but…"

"Tant, someday you're going to go home and thoroughly apologize to Mother. You are such a bad child. Santa will give you dirty coal for Christmas."

"YOU'RE A WHOLE LOT WORSE THAN ME."

"YEAH? YOU WANNA BET?"

The two stood back-to-back, yelling over their shoulders while they fought three pirates, one of which was the triangle-eared pirate who had somehow survived his encounter with the ship. Nautilus wielded his water sword while Tantalus held a shell-like object in each hand, one spewing blue flames, the other unleashing bursts of sand. The twins were so furious with each other that they paid little heed to their adversaries, occasionally blocking a thrust from one pirate and wildly attacking another in rage. Tavvy wasn't needed here, but whenever he tried to leave the general area to help Bailey, who was in a really tight situation at the moment, one of the pirates would block his path and laugh in his face, blowing stinky air up his nose.

"Five beli!"

"FIVE? That's not even enough to feed a fruit fly!"

"I only have five beli in my bank account and I doubt you have any more than me!"

"That is where you're wrong, dear brother of mine. I have ELEVEN beli!"

"That…that's impossible! How did you manage to salvage so much money?"

"I sold that wristwatch you gave me for Christmas. It was damn ugly anyways."

Tavvy watched as Bailey fell to one knee, a pirate with long, blond hair advancing on him. He had to help! Rushing at the pirate currently blocking him, he jumped a few yards away from the scrawny man and swung his legs around to kick him in the face. "**Shippuu ****Kunkai**!" he shouted as his foot collided with jaw. Tavvy landed on his feet, flipped backwards onto his hands, and kicked the pirate several more times just for good measure, knocking the pirate unconscious.

"Bailey! Watch out!"

Bailey turned at the sound of Tavvy's voice just as the blond pirate began slamming his fists downwards. Bailey was doomed!

"Incomin' Oya!" shouted a presently half dog, half-human Oya. He had grown claws and his canines were much longer now. Fur covered every patch of his skin in black and white splotches. "**Yamarashi**!" Oya flew at the pirate, his claws just flickers of movement. The pirate soon found himself enveloped in a whirlwind of hurt, the torture finally ending with a slash across the throat. Oya grinned as his claws shrank back to fingernails and his fur retreated into his hair follicles.

Tavvy gasped. "Y-you killed him," he stuttered, gaping at the bloody mess beside a completely bewildered Bailey.

Oya glanced at the crimson on his fingers. He shrugged. "Whoops."

Shaking, Tavvy turned in a circle. All the fights had ended. Nautilus had stuck his water sword down the weird-eared pirate's throat while Tantalus stood next to a pile of sand and ashes. The skull of Marie's opponent had been smashed into many fragments. Something similar to the blond-haired pirate lay near a large pile of rubble where Oya had finished him off. Tundra emerged from behind the hull of a damaged ship, blood splattered on his boots and pant legs. Tavvy could only stare at this scene of destruction with horror.

Bailey was also quite shaken. He had found the pirates unbelievably fast and strong. He hadn't even had the time to attack anyone, and yet, everyone else had slain the pirates with leisurely ease. He couldn't help but shiver at the sight of the once-alive-and-laughing pirates.

"I can't believe you sold my Christmas present! That thing cost all of a month's allowance!"

"Present? I thought it was a declaration of war!"

"Well, now it is!"

"I don't even have it anymore. You'll have to find something else to declare war with!"

"WOULD YOU TWO JUST SHUT UP AND CLEAN THIS MESS BEFORE I DEMOTE YOU?"

The twins paled and hastily saluted Marie.

"Of course, ma'am!" they squeaked in unison. They began to rush about, trying to find a mop.

Marie scowled and spat on the ground. "Where the hell did these pirates get those weird ESC's? I've never seen effects like these before."

Tundra, who carried a cloth-wrapped stick of sorts, came up beside her and scratched his head. "Dunno. It looks like something created by Owl, but I'm not sure. The pirates did mention something about a swan bastard…I think."

Marie jumped, quite startled by Tundra silent arrival, and blushed ferociously before finally calming herself. She pondered for a moment. "You don't think they meant—" And then the elevator doors opened.

"Paper…or plastic?" asked a merry, feminine voice.

Everyone besides Tavvy and Bailey grimaced. They all turned towards the source of the voice.

Genesis smiled sweetly, dimples appearing in his cheeks. He had neatly combed, strawberry blond hair cut just above his shoulders. He squinted the entire time, his eyes seemingly permanently closed. Over a blue polo and khakis, he wore a blue apron with a few stains. To Bailey and Tavvy, he looked like a cashier at a supermarket.

"My, my!" Genesis exclaimed, raising a hand to his mouth. "You all had far too much fun in here!"

"FUN?" shrieked Marie. She glared. "This day has been anything but fun! First, I had to punch people in the face all morning! Then, the cargo bay gets destroyed! And now, I have to investigate a case of illegal drugs and clean up this freaking mess!" Marie, breathing heavily, forced herself to cross her arms and stomp into the elevator without hurting anyone. "That's it, Genesis! You're cleaning, and I'll dock another five hundred beli from your pay check."

Genesis continued to smile. "Oh, boy!" he shouted gleefully. "That's just swell!" He gave Marie a huge, flashy grin.

Marie suddenly found herself crowded into the back of the elevator as everyone tried to enter. No one wanted to be left alone with only the creepily cheerful Genesis for company.

~one day later~

Marie sat at her desk, shuffling through papers. Today, she needed to make plans for the ceremony welcoming Tavvy and Bailey to the force. It was a tiring task. Plus, the two had never submitted any paperwork. She didn't know their history, their age, not even their full names. She groaned and rubbed her temples, trying to focus on the text in front of her. The door opened and she looked up.

"Tundra, are you lost again?" she murmured. It was only after a few seconds did she realize his eyes were golden. She sat bolt upright in her chair. "You!"

Not-Tundra smiled. "What's up, Rear Admiral?" He took the seat across from her and propped his feet onto her desk.

"What do you think you're doing?" growled Marie. She stood, anger flashing in her eyes.

Not-Tundra yawned. He swung his legs off the desk and also rose to his feet. He stood two full inches higher than Marie, so the Rear Admiral found herself looking up into golden irises. "I'm just warning you," he finally said after a long staring contest. "Those ESC's are the start of something very bad. The plan has already been launched, and there's nothing anyone can do to stop it, unless…" he trailed off, a mischievous glint entering his eyes.

Marie decided to play along. "Unless what?"

"Unless Owl can be caught right now. You already know who gave the ESC's to those pirates and Owl is the key to everything." He leaned in very closely to Marie's face and grinned. "I'll help you if you like."

Wrinkling her nose, Marie pushed the not-Tundra away. "I'm not going to become involved in this situation, especially if it requires working with you. _He _is coming in a few weeks, so you should be prepared to get killed."

Not-Tundra chuckled, then sat back down, plopping his feet onto the desk again. "It's just so sad that _he_ can't do anything about me. Surely, you both must know that already!" Seeing Marie's stubborn gaze, he sighed exasperatedly. "Look now, Rear Admiral. It's only a matter of time before I completely take over Tundra's body and kill all of you. Why not let me help you stop Owl's evil plans with the time you have left? I'm sure the world would appreciate it."

This time, Marie was the one to lean over to the not-Tundra. "No! _You_ look now, Mellark!" she hissed furiously, her gray eyes boring into his golden ones. "Why don't you get out of Tundra right now before I beat your fucking soul into a fucking, bloody pulp?"

Not-Tundra/Mellark only smiled. "Now, now. We've gone over this before, Rear Admiral. It's not something easy to do. That's the problem with this whole Reikonshoku Haki business. Besides, this was your superior's plan in the first place."

Just then, the door opened again. "Oh! Am I interrupting something?" In the doorway stood a man of average height with dark gray hair cropped close to his scalp. He had large, brown eyes and wore a long, wool jacket over a gray dress shirt. Curiously, his shoes were bright orange with neon blue laces.

Mellark fell backwards in his chair as Marie sat down abruptly.

"Piggy?" Mellark exclaimed, unsteadily picking himself off the floor. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Piggy snickered. He was missing his front two teeth. "Found yourself a girlfriend, Mellark?"

"Shut up."

There was a quiet click as Marie pointed her pistol at the newcomer. "Great. I have two pirates in my office now. Go away before I shoot you."

Piggy raised his hands above his head. "Whoa! Calm down, Rear Admiral. I'm just here to deliver some confidential news to my crewmate."

"Whatever you say to him has to be said to me."

Piggy laughed nervously. "Yeah. I get it, I get it. I'm just the delivery guy, don't blame me." He gulped as Marie waved her gun impatiently. "Right, so one of the Yonkou died just yesterday."

Again, Mellark fell out of his chair. Marie promptly dropped her pistol.

"The Marines are trying to cover it up for some reason, but there's no denying that he was assassinated."

"Was it Sorus?" Marie inquired. "I mean, he's the oldest of the four, so he would be an easier target."

Piggy shook his head. "Eustass Kid. A bullet through the heart. No witnesses. The other Yonkou deny having anything to do with it. The captain is sure it was Nazca's doing, though. They've been too quiet for too long." His eyes widened excitedly as he turned to Mellark. "Or maybe it was you, 'Lazy Lark'. Broken Wing also had suspicions about your whereabouts that day."

"_Tundra_," began Marie, stressing the name, "was here the entire day. So no, it was not him."

Piggy looked slightly disappointed, but then resumed his speech. "Captain wants to know when you'll be done here, Mellark. He has a feeling that there's gonna be war among the Yonkou. The Kid Pirates can't trust anyone right now and they're randomly attacking any sailor on the seas 'cause of their rage. The Gravestone Pirates are getting real angry 'cause of the attacks and I can't say Sorus and his crew are feeling any less threatened. They're all really suspicious of each other, so Broken Wing wants your help to calm things down."

Mellark frowned. "Since when do I owe Kenwin any favors? Tell him I'll be back on the Grand Line when I feel like it," he said, running a hand through his hair. "Geez. That guy is so impatient."

Marie slammed her fist onto the table, causing Mellark to fall from his seat once again. "Why is this happening? If the Marines focus all our forces on the Grand Line, do you know what will happen?" Both Mellark and Piggy shook their heads. Neither knew her intentions until she shouted, "Less pay for ME!"

"Figured," the two pirates mumbled, cringing at the Rear Admiral's fury.

Mellark rubbed his back, winced as he sat down, only to tip over yet again as the door burst open. Tavvy and Bailey entered the office, fairly surprised to find it quite crowded. Piggy stared at Tavvy and his large eyes grew even larger. "Tavvy! You got younger…and you turned into a guy!"

Tavvy turned angrily towards the pirate messenger. "Hey! I've always been a guy! If you want proof, I'll take off my pants!"

"It's okay, Tavvy," Bailey mumbled into the awkward silence. "We all believe you."

Piggy looked helplessly towards Marie and Mellark. "This…this boy looks exactly like Tavvy!" He chewed on a fingernail. "He can't be…no, that's impossible…"

"What? Tavvy's son?" suggested Mellark. He eyed Tavvy with his golden gaze. "He has to be. Kid, what's your full name?"

Tavvy narrowed his eyes slightly at the pirate-occupied Marine. "Who are you? You look like Tun-something, but you sound nothing like him," he said, cocking his head to the side.

Marie nervously coughed. "Just answer the question, Tavvy. It's for paperwork."

Shrugging away his doubts, Tavvy answered. "Jolly D. Tavvicks. Why?"

Marie managed to choke on her own spit. Mellark fell out of his chair…_again_. Piggy yelped and found a book to hide his face. Even Bailey took a step back from his friend. They all stared at him in a mixture of shock and fear.

"See? I told Ivan-sama I should have changed it to Tommy or something a lot cooler! He just wouldn't listen."

* * *

><p>Cliffhanger! Cue the dramatic music! Lots of plot in this chapter. We now have a slight introduction to the four Yonkou: the assassinated Eustass "Captain" Kid, "Burning Emperor" Sorus (courtesy of Orrahn), "Grave Digger" Obsidius, and "Broken Wing" Kenwin! There will be little mention of the Shichibukai until the main characters migrate into the Grand Line.<p>

Who is this Mellark fellow? What does he know about Reikonshoku Haki? After next chapter, he won't appear again for quite a while, but he does play an important role. And what about Owl and this whole evil plan business?

Also, what's the big deal with Tavvy's name? Well, you'll find out in the next Tavvy chapter. Don't worry, Tavvy! Being the author and your creator, I think your name is cool!

So...happy holidays, y'all! Happy thoughts make happy people!


	15. CMG Arc: The Elevator

~Sammy~

Sammy shrugged. "Gravestone Pirates? Never heard of them. Is there really a pirate crew named after gravestones? That's just depressing."

Gala cocked her head to the side. "Really? You've never heard of us?" When Sammy shook his head, she stopped spinning her two scissors. "Well, that just sucks the fun out of everything. Thanks a lot, kid."

Sammy looked at the pirate, utterly confused. "What do you mean?"

Gala sighed, then found a rock to sit on. "Usually when we raid cities, the residents get really scared and scream a lot. When people don't even know who we are, it's so boring to have to explain everything. They're so blown with the info, they don't even panic!" she whined. The red-haired pirate pouted, seemingly immersed in a bad memory.

Sammy lowered his fist, seeing no more threat in his adversary. He realized Steggy still stood precariously on the woman's shoulder. Very, very carefully, he crept over and snatched it away. Gala didn't even notice. She fiddled with her hair, still pouting.

Sammy glanced towards Noah, the dino-napper, and ducked just in time. A bullet whistled over his head, brushing the tops of a few strands of his hair.

"Bastard! I'll rip off your head and feed it to the crocs!" howled Glossy, madly shooting at Noah, while Noah madly dodged the shots, hiding behind trees, boulders, and whatever else could block a bullet.

"I helped you! Why are you shooting at me?" Noah shrieked, his voice terribly shrill.

Glossy shrugged. "You just seem like a good person to shoot at." He unleashed another round of bullets.

"Honestly!" Noah exclaimed, poking his head out from behind a shrub. "Is there any rational person here who I can associate with?" As if in answer, Glossy fired ten more shots towards Noah's general direction. The curly-haired man dashed away from his location and headed straight towards the rock Gala currently sat on. Still enraged, Glossy followed him with a trail of gunshots. Gala didn't realize what was going on until she looked up and locked her eyes on an incoming projectile.

From Sammy's angle, it looked as if the bullet went straight into Gala's face. Gala fell backwards and landed on her back.

"Oh, shoot," Glossy muttered. "I killed a commander! Damn, Gavin's gonna fry me like a fish!"

"I'm not dead!" yelled Gala, struggling to stand. Her coat snagged on a root and she fell back down with a loud thud. Cursing violently, she tore off the coat and finally stood up, brushing the dirt from her clothes. The bullet had sliced a straight, bleeding line across her cheek.

Glossy stomped his foot. "Damnit! You had me all worried for nothing!" he spat, placing a hand on his hip. "If only I had aimed a little more to the right."

Gala glared. "Glossy, you over-sized, peacock brain of a stegosaurus!" she yelled, stomping her foot angrily. "You dare flaw my flawless face!" She flung a pair of scissors towards her scowling companion. Glossy easily dodged, then found himself faced with the blades of the other pair. He jumped back, but not before Gala scored a long gash down each of his forearms.

Before anything else could happen, Gargon fell from the sky and landed on Glossy, completely crushing the smaller man. Gala skidded to a halt in the middle of her charge, almost slamming into the two.

"What an annoying person! He even put up a decent fight," Caprilla remarked, shaking the blood off her hand. She sighed and adjusted her glasses.

"Get off of me, you huge, chunky bastard!" Glossy screamed at Gargon. He desperately tried to wriggle out from under the hulking figure, but to no avail. His breaths began to shorten. "I can't breathe! Gala, I'll forgive you for not dying if you get him off!"

Gala bent down to Glossy's head and stuck out her tongue, pulling down her lower eyelid at the same time. "Die a horrible death! Like I care about you, Glossy!" She straightened and laughed maniacally.

"Damn you, Gala! I'll tell Gavin! He'll fry you, I say! FRY YOU!"

Gala continued to laugh, despite Glossy's odd warning. She finally calmed and turned, only to be faced with a still annoyed Caprilla, a very ruffled and cross Noah, and Sammy, who cuddled a stegosaurus figurine and glared at her with malice. For once, Gala felt uneasy. The blonde lady had proved to be a proficient fighter, managing to beat Gargon into unconsciousness in a matter of minutes, seemingly with only her bare hands. Noah, although he looked feeble and flimsy, actually possessed great agility, able to dodge even Glossy's sharp shooting abilities. And Sammy was a Reikonshoku Haki user, perhaps the most dangerous of the three. Wait. Hadn't there been four earlier on? Gala whipped around just in time to see the blade of a kitchen knife slice off a few of her red hairs.

Noelle cursed. "So much for a sneak attack," she muttered under her breath. She pressed forward, swinging the knife with sharp precision.

Sammy also decided to attack, dashing towards the pirate, the air flickering around his fists.

"This…isn't good," Gala murmured to herself. She sighed and mourned the loss of those few strands of hair Noelle had cut off, before she fell backwards, yanked down by her hair. "OW! WHAT THE HELL?"

Sammy and Noelle almost crashed into each other, Noelle's knife half and inch from Sammy's face and Sammy's fist half an inch from Noelle's face. They both turned angrily towards Gala. However, their opponent seemed far too worried about something, or rather, someone else.

"I'll cut you open!" Gala screamed at the blond-haired man of average height wearing sunglasses, who had just pulled on her hair. "Bastard! I told you to never, ever touch my hair!"

Ignoring Gala much like Gala had ignored Glossy, the man slid a pair of headphones from around his neck so that they rested around his ears. The arching strip of metal flattened some of his unruly, bed-head hair. He bore no expression on his face as he casually waited for Gala's anger to subside.

Finally Gala seemed to calm. Still breathing heavily, she asked, "And what are you even doing here, Gavin?"

Gavin rubbed the light stubble on his chin before reaching into the pocket of his thick jacket. He withdrew a folded piece of paper and began to read. "Attention to all division commanders," he said in a perfectly dull monotone. "This is an indirect message from your captain, the wonderful and glorious Sid, brought to you by the second in command of division one, he-who-must-not-be-named Voldemort. Sorry, that was lame. It's Greech speaking. Sorry again. Please, you do not know how sorry I am. I'm so sorry that—"

"Please skip the stupid parts."

Gavin coughed slightly and refolded the paper. He then retrieved several other papers from his pockets and finally picked one. "So, in conclusion: sorry again. Anyways, Sid is calling off the treasure hunt. Some of you may already know, but one of the Yonkou, 'Captain' Kid, was assassinated. His crew is going wild and Uncle Sam wants YOUR help. Okay, that was even lamer. Sorry, sorry. Please excuse my horrible humor. I'm really sorry. If I could express my sorry-ness in a thousand-page-long poem, it would go something like—"

"Skip it."

Again, Gavin rummaged around and found even more papers. He began to pile them up beside him until finding what he was looking for. "I would like to finish the other seven hundred and fifty six pages, but someone else needs to use the den den mushi. So, I will simply say sorry.

"Back to more pressing matters. Sid needs all the help he can get for controlling the huge number of pirates who have sprung up trying to claim Kid's land. Already, one of our ships has been sunk by a combination of lesser pirates and bad-tempered Sea Kings. Commanders, you are to report back to the Grand Line as soon as you can. If any treasure you have found will slow you down, trash it NOW! Sid no longer cares about the treasure hunt. He is more worried about the safety of his crew! So again, please head back to the Grand Line with your division ASAP. Okay, Growlie. I'm done, so you can go call your mother now. Oops, is this thing still on? I'm sorry Growlie! Really, really sorry. In fact, I'm as sorry as a—" Gavin cut off with a series of violent noises including screaming, thumping, and hearty laughter. He fell silent after the unmistakable sound of breaking bones.

Gala frowned. "So in other words, we have to go back to the Grand Line," she summarized after a few moments of awkward silence. "Stupid Greech. He just wasted ten minutes of my life." She crossed her arms angrily and looked around. Much to her surprise, she found no one present except for herself, Gavin, and the disgruntled heap of Glossy and Gargon.

Gavin allowed himself a small smile before pulling a PSP (PlaySnail Portable) from his seemingly bottomless pockets. "Don't worry about those four, Gala. I accidentally scared them away," he said in his monotone, thumbs flying over the controls. "But we really should join up with the rest of the division."

"Fine, but you're commander now."

Gavin nearly dropped his gaming device, but did not show any other signs of surprise. "I thought you wanted to be commander. That's why I had you take over my position in the first place."

"The job is really boring, Gavin. Too much responsibility," Gala whined, sitting back down on a boulder.

"Then I'll just make you commander again."

Gala snickered. "No, you won't. My last orders as commander are as follows: Gavin will replace me as commander, Gavin will remain commander for another year, and Gavin will treat me to a week's worth of gourmet food!" She grinned triumphantly and hooked her arm through Gavin's. "Ah, I feel so refreshed now! Let's go eat something."

Gavin sighed and reluctantly stowed away his PSP. He then pointed to Glossy and Gargon. Right on cue, Glossy began shout bursts of profanity. "Gavin! Gavin! Gala won't get this fucking meatloaf off of me! Fry her! FRY HER." Due to lack of breath, his face had turned blue, but it began to change into a curious shade of purple as he yelled.

Gala sniffed and turned away from the sight of the enraged Glossy and still unconscious Gargon. "Just leave those two. No one will miss them anyways!" She smiled again and hugged Gavin tightly, causing the reinstated commander to choke. "Yay! Back to the Grand Line!" She wouldn't realize Sammy had kept her stegosaurus figurine until she reached Sabaody Archipelago.

~on the way underground~

"Why did we run away?" Noelle asked as the elevator behind the stone door descended.

Noah grunted with effort as he turned the crank which lowered the tall metal box (otherwise known as the elevator) back underground. "Because," he began, his face beaded with sweat, "we didn't stand a chance against that person with the headphones."

Caprilla hit him over the head with her shoe, causing Noah to yelp in pain. "Can't you work more quietly? Your voice is annoying."

Noah scowled and rubbed his head, but continued to operate the elevator without a reply.

Sammy leaned against the wall of the elevator, unusually silent. He finally spoke after fingering the spikes on Steggy's back. "That guy was really creepy! I couldn't see his eyes!"

"He was wearing sunglasses," stated Noelle bluntly.

"But I should have been able to 'see' him! Who was that guy anyways?"

This time, Noah answered, much to the annoyance of Caprilla. "The commander of the Tenth Division of the Gravestone Pirates."

Again Caprilla whacked him with her shoe. After threatening the curly-haired man, she glowered at the empty space in front of her. "The Tenth Division is the weakest division of the Gravestone Pirates, filled with troublemakers and annoying idiots. Their commander is 'Game Lord' Gavin, an annoying thing who can only talk in a monotone! The last time I fought him, he recited a whole book by some unknown and I fell asleep!" She hissed and punched the metal wall behind her, causing the elevator to shake violently. "That bastard really pisses me off!"

Noah toppled onto his back and his head hit the floor. Sitting up, he exclaimed, "Honestly, Caprilla! You must calm yourself. We are traveling with two adolescents in here!" As soon as the words left his mouth, Caprilla awarded him with another slap across the head.

"You fought with the weakest strongest pirates in the world?" Sammy asked incredulously. He gazed at the awkward duo with renewed admiration. "Wow! You two have gotta be really strong!"

Caprilla scowled and Noah merely scratched his head before resuming the turning of the crank. After a few moments of silence, Noah spoke. "We're not strong, just a bit desperate for action, so we try to find some excitement. Unfortunately, sometimes it means engaging in unruly battles."

"The Mari City is boring," Caprilla added with a slight yawn. "Nothing but stone, rocks, and minerals. Try to imagine living underground for your whole life. We couldn't stand the thought, so we found a way to the surface. Noah and I decided to become treasure hunters and explore the world. Of course, people like my little brother couldn't understand why we would throw caution to the wind just for fun."

"Bastard," Noah concurred with a curt nod.

Caprilla blinked as if realizing something, and gave Noah a kick in the shin. "Didn't I tell you to shut up a while ago?"

"According to the law, I have every right to speak!" was Noah's instant retort.

The two then began to argue venomously.

"I don't get it. Are they friends or not?" Noelle asked of no one in particular.

For the most part, Caprilla spoke the dirtiest, since Noah's speech tended to be more refined, but even the 'civilized' curly-haired man felt the need to utter an expletive now and then. Sammy covered Steggy's non-existent ears, fearing the lifeless stegosaurus would be overwhelmed with the exposure to the explosive language. Many times, he had overheard arguments from his childhood which he would have very much liked to miss out on. He didn't want Steggy to share the same fate.

For some reason, Noah had maintained the lowering of the elevator while absorbed in his argument, so all four were extremely startled when the downward momentum ceased, accompanied by the sound of metal banging against rock. All four landed on their butts and cursed like true sailors.

"It's all your fault, Noah," Caprilla muttered as she wrenched open the elevator doors.

"_My_ fault? I can teach you a good deal about faults! You're _impossible_! You think you're so great? If I had eaten that accursed Devil Fruit, then I could do anything you can now, except five times better!"

"You're just jealous because I ate the fucking Devil Fruit and you didn't! I'm not going to stand here and listen to the shitty excuses you come up with for being weaker than me!"

"If you had any sense of logic, you'd apologize in a civilized manner for being so stuck up and sensitive!" The foursome emerged into a large cavern. "Honestly, Caprilla! What do I have to do to get you to—" Noah stopped abruptly in the middle of his vicious shouting and stared, mouth agape, at the scene before him.

Caprilla also stared for quite a long time before asking, "And just what the hell did you get yourself into this time, Hammer?"

Boss and many other people were sprawled on the floor, beat up and bloody. Boss seemed to be the only one conscious. He reached out with a shaking hand. "It's _them_, Sis…and they caught Rummy!"

* * *

><p>Who is "them" and what kind of mother would name her child "Rummy"? Geez, don't ask me. I'm just the author of this story.<p>

I must apologize for the massive chunks of dialogue in the middle of this chapter. Greech is a talkative person and we'll meet him some time later along with more Gravestone Pirate members.

Well, Happy New Years people! My new years resolution is to not fall down the stairs for the next twelve months. I'll need a whole lot of luck with that...


	16. Tavvy explodes some sinks

~Tavvy~

"Those two had an affair?" Piggy shrieked with barely contained delight. "I can't believe it. Oh, if only Klein knew about this! He was totally in love with Tavvy! He's gonna freak!"

Paying no heed to the ecstatic pirate, Marie leaned over her desk and looked Tavvy in the eye. "No one has told you anything about your parents?" she asked.

Tavvy thought for a moment. "Well, I asked Ivan-sama about it once…"

-=Flashback=-

"Ivan-sama," says Tavvy as he watches Ivan cook. "Do you know who my parents are?"

Ivan smiles kindly and minces some celery. "Yes," he answers plainly.

Tavvy frowns. "Are they still alive?"

"Both of them are very much alive and healthy," Ivan says, brushing the chopped celery into a metal pot. He takes a few extremely long carrots out of a canvas bag and begins to slice them.

Tavvy lets out a loud sigh and leans against a cabinet. "I bet my parents were rich and lazy and didn't want a kid to bother them in their happy, perfect life."

Ivan reaches for another carrot and places it on the cutting board. "No, no. Your parents aren't those type of people. Well, they _are_ fairly rich, but far from lazy." He gently scrapes the carrot slices into the pot, then removes a few potatoes from the bag. "Both of them are very likable characters."

"Yeah? Then why did they leave me here, if they're such good people?"

"Your mother and father are busy, busy people. Their so busy that your father doesn't even know you exist. Your mother left you in my care because she wanted to protect you," Ivan explains while carving out the eyes of a potato with his knife. "Since both of them do very dangerous things."

This captures Tavvy's attention. "Ooh! What kind of dangerous things?"

Ivan chuckles and shakes his head as he proceeds to skinning the potato. "You're just like your father, Tavvy. His curiosity is what gets him into trouble all the time. All he ever wants to do is know more and more, like a curious crow."

"But what kind of dangerous things does he do?"

Ivan ignores the question. "And don't get me started on your mother. She always smiles, no matter what the situation. In fact, you could even call her the queen of smiles. It's amazing how she can remain positive, especially through that awful—" Ivan stops himself, but already, Tavvy catches wind of some possibly important information.

"Awful what?" the white-haired boy asks, anticipation welling up inside of him. "Come on, Ivan-sama! Please, can you tell me?"

Just then, Maria storms into the kitchen. "TAVVY! Would you care to explain why your room is still a mess, even though I told you to clean it two hours ago?"

Tavvy pouts. "It's because of Sammy! He's the one who tore down the curtains!"

"And I suppose he also left all _your_ books on _your_ bed and put _your_ favorite ramen bowl on top of _your_ dirty laundry." Maria grabs Tavvy's hand and leads him out of the room. "I don't think so, young man!"

"But Maria-san!"

-=Present=-

"And then she made me scrub all the dirt off all the windows at the orphanage!" Tavvy finished, stomping his foot angrily. "Maria-san is too cruel!"

"YOU REALLY ARE THE SON OF THOSE TWO," Piggy squealed. "OH MY GOD. I FINALLY HAVE BLACKMAIL MATERIAL."

Marie hid her face in her hands. "So much paperwork, so little pay," she moaned.

Bailey's words were more blunt than what anyone else had uttered. "Tavvy, your parents are both super dangerous and highly wanted PIRATES?"

An uneasy silence settled over the room. Tavvy's eyes widened as he realized what Bailey had said. He pointed to himself. "My parents are pirates," he said quietly. He then grinned. "Whoa! My parents are pirates! I have pirate blood, just like you, Bailey!"

Bailey smacked himself in the forehead. He grimaced and looked up at the others. "Yeah. Uh, my grandfather was Trafalgar Law."

"What I want to know," Tavvy said loudly before anyone could react to Bailey's pirate lineage, "is what their names are! I mean, Ivan-sama just wouldn't tell me!"

Mellark let out a bark of laughter, then quickly covered his mouth as Piggy and Marie stared at him incredulously. "Your father is Jolly Crowley, otherwise known as the Curious Crow. He's the first division commander of the Broken Wing Pirates. Just so you know, you look nothing like him."

Tavvy gasped.

"Mellark!" Marie hissed, but Tundra's possessor continued to speak, smirking while staring intently at Tavvy's reaction.

"And then there's your mother, the Queen of Smiles, Juna D. Tavvicka. She's a solo pirate and doesn't give a damn for men, but apparently that sly Crowley—"

"CROWLEY!"

Mellark fell out of his chair once again and when he rose, his eyes were blue. "What…?"

Bailey backed up against the wall, away from the seething Tavvy. The teen was furious. No, beyond furious. His eyes burned with such intensity, the air around them shimmered.

Marie found herself clenching her fists in anticipation for possibly having to defend from an attack. What on Earth was going on with the boy?

Luckily for Piggy, he had fled the scene as soon as he had seen the first flare of anger ignite in the white-haired boy's eyes. He had experienced much as a messenger, and he knew when things were about to take a dangerous turn.

"Crowley," Tavvy repeated under his breath. A tremor racked his body. "You're joking, right?" He lashed out with his arm, reducing a tall bookshelf to woodchips. He nearly toppled a second one, when all of a sudden, a cooling sensation entered his mind and he felt all his anger wash away.

Tundra sighed with relief as he removed his index finger from Tavvy's forehead. "Don't ever do that again if I'm anywhere near…'cause it scared the shit out of me!" He scratched his head. "How did I even get here in the first place?"

"Long story," Marie muttered. She gestured towards Tavvy and the still shocked Bailey. "Get out of my office before I cut your pay."

The two happily obliged, since they knew Marie was not one to be defied, and scuttled out of the room as fast as they could. The door clicked shut behind them, leaving only Tundra and Marie in the room once again.

Marie narrowed her eyes at her crush/subordinate, who was currently engaged in trying to remove a splinter from his thumb. "Just how much do you know, Tundra?"

Tundra looked up from his hand and raised his eyebrows. "I have no idea what you're talking about," he stated, not even trying to sound convincing. With that, he also left the room. Moments later, he opened the door and popped his head back in. "Marie, do you know where the coffee room is?"

~with Tavvy and Bailey~

"What was that?" Bailey asked after the two had traveled some distance down the hallway. He stared at his friend with a mixture of emotions. Confusion, surprise, maybe even slight anger.

"What was what?" Tavvy replied with a question of his own.

"The whole Crowley thing."

"Oh." Tavvy's expression darkened from its already dark state.

To Bailey, it seemed Tavvy's anger had been replaced by something else, though he couldn't quite tell what it was.

"I don't want to talk about it," Tavvy said at last. He pushed open a door. Bailey almost followed, but then realized it was the bathroom. He continued onwards down the corridor, whistling half-heartedly.

Inside the bathroom, Tavvy turned on the faucet and watched as the water gushed out of the tap. He continued to stare at the water until someone flushed the toilet, causing the entire sink to explode.

"THE HELL?" Tavvy shrieked, trying to dodge the bits of debris flying towards him.

"My, my. Didn't anyone tell you that you can't have the tap running while flushing the toilet?" said Genesis in his creepily feminine voice. He flashed Tavvy a grin, his dimples appearing. Tavvy would never admit it to anyone, but Genesis scared him. The squinty-eyed man scared him more than Marie, Maria, and Ivan's twenty-pound textbooks combined. What made this encounter worse was the fact that the two were alone in the bathroom with water steadily flooding the floor. Then Tavvy noticed the bloodstains on Genesis's apron.

"Umm, there's blood on your clothes," Tavvy said.

Genesis continued to smile without looking down. "I know." He walked past Tavvy, not caring if he stepped on anything sharp, and washed his hands at another sink.

"What's it from?" Tavvy asked cautiously.

Genesis dried his hands on a paper towel and tossed the dampened material into a trashcan. "It seems two pirates were still alive from yesterday. They became very angry when I tried to clean them up." He made to exit and his smile changed into something malicious. Tavvy stood completely still as Genesis brushed by him and whispered, "Don't worry, Jolly D. Tavvicks. I took care of them."

Too stunned to reply, Tavvy waited until he could no longer hear (with his normal hearing) Genesis's footsteps. He stumbled to a wall and steadied himself. "This day just keeps getting weirder and weirder," he mumbled to himself. Realizing the mess he had made in the restroom, Tavvy found a bar of soap and wrote on the mirrors: _OYA_ _WUZ_ _HERE_. Satisfied with his work, he quickly left and rushed to the barracks.

By amount of manpower, the seventeenth branch was not a very large Marine base, but it had been built to accommodate many soldiers. Therefore, with the current number of operating personnel within the base, everyone could have a room of their own with plenty more to spare. After changing into another set of clothes, for his previous ones had been soaked by the exploding sink, Tavvy exited his room and stumbled across Bailey at the mess hall.

"Food!" Tavvy exclaimed upon sighting his buddy sitting at a bench with a plate of stacked pancakes.

"I feel important," Bailey muttered sarcastically as Tavvy stole his pancakes and finished them within all of thirty seconds.

As Tavvy washed down the pancakes with Bailey's mug of hot chocolate, he noticed the people in the cafeteria were divided into two distinct groups. On one side, there were Marines neatly dressed in their uniforms and politely chatting with each other. On the other side, the people seemed more sinister-looking and dressed sloppily, many not even wearing the standard Marine outfit. Most of them had eyes fixed permanently into glares and didn't demonstrate very good manners.

"Something on your mind?" Bailey asked, concerned at Tavvy's intent expression.

Tavvy continued to observe the scene. "Why are there two different kinds of people? There are the mean-looking people, and then those average folks."

Bailey glanced around. "You're right. I wonder what's going on."

At that moment, Oya decided to break the relative calm in the mess hall. All heads turned to the cafeteria line.

"BUT I WANT _CHOCOLATE_ CAKE!" Oya howled intensely at the cook behind the counter.

The cook was a round-faced man wearing a dingy white apron over a simple white shirt and dark gray slacks. "We only have vanilla cake! I'm not going to make another one just for you!"

People began to mutter amongst themselves. The more refined bunch expressed much annoyance, while the other Marines seemed amused at the commotion.

"I warnin' ya!" shouted Oya, practically steaming with rage. "If I don' get me chocolate cake right now, I'm gonna tear this place apart!"

"I thought he liked brownies," Bailey whispered to Tavvy. He then realized the white-haired boy was munching on an egg and bacon sandwich, not even caring about Oya and his antics.

"Hnn?" Tavvy looked up and wiped some grease from the corner of his mouth.

"Never mind."

Oya continued to yell his lungs out, with the equally stubborn cook retorting in much the same manner. As the argument reached a climax, the whole situation worsened as Tantalus and Nautilus entered the mess hall, bickering in their usual fashion.

"I don't care if you don't like my hat! In fact, I think yours is uglier than sidewalk chalk on a rainy day!"

"Oh, yeah? Yours is uglier than a naked mole rat wearing mascara!"

"Mine is more dignified, you moron!"

"Mine is more stylish…and your face is a moron!"

"Well, mine is awesome…and I'm not going to say your mom is a moron, because your mom is my mom, so then I would be insulting my mom!"

"My hat is the best and…wait, what?"

"I said—"

The twins walked straight into the infuriated Oya, causing the three of them to topple to the ground. Then, they all began a huge argument, somehow managing to include the pudgy cook. The person waiting behind Oya in line let out an angry burst of frustration, earning him a spot in the quarrel. That person's friend then rushed up to defend him, resulting in a few more friends joining. Pretty soon, everyone in the cafeteria was engaged in an all out spat. Everyone, that is, except for Tavvy and Bailey. Tavvy continued to eat, occasionally snatching someone else's uneaten meal from a plate. Bailey had plugged his ears with some napkins and read a comic book to pass the time.

"EVERYONE, SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTHS BEFORE I SPEND YOUR PAY ON USELESS PAPER LANTERNS!" roared Marie's unmistakable voice over the clamor in the mess hall. Almost immediately, everyone fell silent. Then, Tavvy burped so loudly, it put Marie's amazing vocal chords to shame.

"Uh...excuse me?" he said cautiously, using a lace napkin to quickly dab at the corner of his mouth.

Bailey removed the napkins from his ears and seemed to realize the situation. The two stood up in absolute synchronization, then dashed out of the cafeteria before anyone could react, never glancing back at the gawking people behind them.

"Have a nice day, Rear Admiral!" they both shouted as they sprinted past the completely-shocked-and-very-near-to-exploding-with-anger Marie.

Once they reached the barracks, they froze and stared at each other. "We just somehow escaped certain death!" they exclaimed to each other. Shaking their heads in wonderment, they headed towards the arcade to spend some time playing games.

Neither of them noticed Genesis's disturbing smile as the man trailed behind them silently. He probably would have followed the two all the way to the arcade, but a figure yanked him into a shadowy doorway by his collar.

After a long silence, Genesis spoke. "My, my. Tundra, you look agitated," he remarked, a twinge of concern in his voice

Tundra released Genesis and stumbled into the open, his forehead beaded with sweat. "First off, what is wrong with you? If you want to join a group, you ask and don't act like a creep!"

Genesis shrugged, unconcerned. "They interest me. I'm more of a creepy person than a group-y person."

Tundra merely scratched his head, puzzled, then continued with his distressed speech. "Second of all…well, it's still something to do with you. Can't you hurry up with tracking down that thing? This guy is driving me crazy! I can't stand all his horrible ranting about killing everyone!"

The smile slid off Genesis's face. "So, he's started to fill your brain with murderous thoughts. Yes, I can understand why you look so anguished now." The smile reappeared. "How problematic. May I speak with you, Mellark?"

With those words, Tundra's eyes once again shifted colors. Mellark stretched lazily and yawned. "What is there to talk about, Genesis? I just need to know the location as soon as possible."

"My, my. You sure are demanding for someone nicknamed 'Lazy Lark'. It takes time to track down the grave of someone so mysterious." Genesis's smile widened. "I'll also have you know I am doing this only for my dear Tundra's sake. If it were anyone else, I wouldn't even be talking to you at the moment."

Mellark scowled. "You know, your smile is creeping me out." Seeing the other man's smile widen even further, batting his eyelids with false-looking innocence, he shuffled away from the Marine. "How much longer?"

Genesis casually waved his hand. "If I can continue at my current pace," he said, "eleven more weeks at most."

Mellark shrugged and stuffed his hands into his pockets. "I guess that's fine. But if you haven't gotten anything by then, I'll kill everyone in this stinking place," he grumbled.

Genesis's smile reached a new level of creepiness. "Oh, and Mellark?"

"Yes?" Mellark answered warily, slowly backing away.

"You had better leave my sweet Tundra alone. He doesn't like it when you scare him with those nasty thoughts of yours."

Mellark snorted. "What are you, his mother?"

"Oh, of course not!" Genesis exclaimed as if in disbelief. He pivoted 360 degrees on his heel and pressed his grinning face inches away from Mellark's. "I owe my life to my beloved Tundra. I won't just stand here and wait for you to kill him."

"Is that so?" Mellark replied with smirk. He blinked and his eyes changed back to blue. Tundra reeled backwards, yelping with surprise. "What the hell is with that creepy-ass smile of yours?" he screeched.

Genesis giggled. He turned and sauntered off, calling out behind him, "Ah, Tundra. I simply love the expression on your face! It suits you well."

Tundra stood alone in the hallway, scratching his head and wondering if that had been a complement or an insult. "Huh?" he mumbled to himself. Realizing something, he rushed to catch up to the blond-haired man. "Wait, Genesis! Where's the coffee room?"

~at the arcade~

"WHAT?"

Bailey grinned. "It's called skill."

Tavvy stared at the billiard table in despair. Bailey had won and Tavvy had lost. Bailey had won for the sixteenth time and Tavvy had lost for the sixteenth time. If they played another round, Bailey would kick ass again and Tavvy would get his ass kicked again. Based upon these observations, Tavvy decided to admit defeat.

"Okay. You may have skill, but I have…er…mad skill! Just not in pool!"

Bailey smirked and set down his pool stick. "Alright. We'll compete in pinball next. Person with the highest average over three games wins!"

"You're on!"

So the two played. In the end…

"I WIN!" shouted Tavvy, with an approximate average of twenty-seven million points.

Bailey slammed his palm against the pinball machine, entirely dissatisfied with his meager six million-point average. "Damn. Just how much training do you put into pinball?" he asked of his friend.

Tavvy proudly raised his hand. "Five hours a week. Ivan-sama says it's an important ability to have in your skill box. You never know, because some time in your life, you might need to play pinball in order to survive!"

Bailey fixed the white-haired boy with a quizzical stare. "I'd like to know just who this Ivan person is. He teaches you some pretty wacky stuff."

"Ivan-sama is totally awesome and smart!" Tavvy exclaimed, beaming. "He says he used to be involved in a lot of jobs, so he knows how to do a lot of things."

Bailey paused, then shrugged. Only an odd teacher could produce an odd student such as Tavvy. A question occurred to him. "Wait. He taught you about pinball, but not billiards?" Tavvy's playing skill was only that of a beginner's. Surely, if this Ivan character trained little boys in pinball, of all games, then he should have also instructed them in billiards.

At first, Tavvy was all too eager to answer, but he seemed to realize something and didn't speak.

"Something wrong?"

"Davy's favorite game was billiards," Tavvy finally muttered. "He always beat me and Sammy, so we always tried our best to beat him. Ivan-sama was super excited about the game, too. We played at least ten games per day."

Bailey didn't understand. "And?"

"And then Davy died. Sammy destroyed all the equipment and there wasn't enough money to buy new stuff. Ivan-sama didn't feel like teaching us anyways."

Bailey, sensing Tavvy's gloomy mood, didn't press for more information, but Tavvy kept talking.

"Those stupid pirates ruined everything! Me, Sammy, and Davy were happy and they just came and ruined it all. And now…now I know my parents are pirates." Tavvy, seized with an instance of anger, grabbed a billiard ball and threw it against the floor. It shattered. "Crowley! Curious bastard, my ass! He killed my friend! My dad killed my friend!"

This time, Bailey didn't back away from his infuriated friend. Instead, he grabbed Tavvy's wrist as the white-haired boy reached for another ball. "Whoa. Calm down. Billiard balls don't look anything like Crowley and Marie's gonna freak once she finds out you broke all of them."

This stopped Tavvy right in his tracks. "You're right. I already exploded the sink, so I'd better not destroy anything else." He smiled sheepishly. "Thanks for saving my life, Bailey!"

"Hold on. You exploded a sink?" A bad feeling began to well up inside Bailey's stomach.

"Yeah. Want some good advice? Never have the tap running while someone flushes the toilet. Anyways, don't worry about it since I framed Oya."

"I see…you, ah, framed Oya."

"Just don't worry about it."

Moments later, they heard Marie's angry voice yell, "OYA! WHY DO I HAVE FOURTEEN COMPLAINTS ABOUT YOUR VANDALIZING OF BATHROOM UTILITIES?"

"HOW DID YE FIND OUT ABOUT THE FROG I HID IN THE U-TUBE?" Oya shrieked in return.

"I'M TALKING ABOUT THE SINK! THE SINK!" A pause. "_YOU DID WHAT_?"

"AIEEEEE! SINCE WHEN DID YE CARRY AROUND A MACHETE?"

Bailey quickly scooped up the shards of the billiard ball and hid them behind a pinball machine. He then sighed and glared at Tavvy. "What did you say? 'Just don't worry about it'?"

Tavvy just chuckled nervously.

Later that day, Tavvy accidentally exploded another two sinks. He made sure to visit Oya in the hospital and buy chocolates for his friend. But he "forgot" to inform the poor fellow of who actually destroyed those sinks. And he had no intention of remembering either.

* * *

><p>Geez. For some reason, the website wouldn't let me upload any documents until now. Weird.<p>

Anyways, in this chapter, the names of Tavvy's parents are revealed! And what's this? Tavvy's dad killed Davy? Gasp! We also get to know the wonderfully creepy Genesis who does **_not_** have any intentional links to the bible, his name is just cool-sounding. I'm saying this because I don't want to offend anyone and go through the hassle of angry people.

Righto, next chapter, we will find out who Rummy is. Yeah, I know I promised no more mysterious strangers, but guess what? I lied. And remember, machetes are cool!


	17. CMG Arc: The Pirate King?

~Sammy~

"Who's Rummy?" Sammy asked as Caprilla wrenched open a large door. He struggled to keep up with her long strides as she rushed across a stone-enclosed courtyard. Noah followed a step behind, fumbling with something in his pocket.

"Rummy? Oh, he's a cool kid," Caprilla responded distractedly.

"A cool kid? He's demented!" Noah exclaimed, matching Caprilla's speed easily with his long legs. "The only thing he talks about is his invisible 'Mommy' and how horrible pirates are!"

Caprilla halted and grabbed Noah by his hair, yanking his head close to hers. "Noah, shut up."

Noah sneered. He took a small knife from his pocket and sliced off the few curly locks Caprilla had in her grasp. "Well, if you want to save him, you're wasting time." He calmly stepped away.

"Bastard," muttered Caprilla as she flung the strands in her hand to the side.

"You guys are so slow!" Sammy called from several yards away. "Me and Noelle are gonna beat up the people who beat up Boss and kidnapped this Rummy guy for you guys if you don't hurry!"

Caprilla adjusted her glasses and let a grudging smile pass over her lips before resuming the chase. After a few moments, Noah followed suit, but not before casting a glare at the blond-haired woman in front of him.

"Those two are tense," Noelle remarked.

Sammy shrugged. "Yeah. But they argue about the trivial stuff, see? Me and Tavvy…we argued about the most important stuff," he said, nodding approvingly at a memory.

"What important stuff?"

"Whether onigiri is better than ramen or not."

Noelle rolled her eyes. "I thought so."

After about ten minutes or so of opening doors and running down passageways, the foursome entered a large chamber so long that the farther length dissolved into darkness. A row of tall stalagmites divided the cavern into two distinct halves. Loud voices could be heard echoing around the cavern.

"Rummy!" Caprilla hollered into the darkness.

The shouting stopped abruptly. Then, a single voice, sounding as if it belonged to a child, spoke.

"Mommy, Caprilla has come to rescue me. Isn't that great?"

"Hey, it's that guy who talks to his mommy! Hi, kid who talks to his mommy!" Sammy yelled, much to the annoyance of both Caprilla and Noah.

Sammy received a reply as the echoes of his voice died away. "Hello, pirate. How are you doing today? My mother sends her regards."

"I'm actually having a lot of fun!" Sammy said with a small laugh. "I heard you got kidnapped. I hope you're not injured."

"Oh, it's not so bad. A few scratches here and there, but nothing serious."

"That's good to hear. Hey, what do you think is better? Onigiri or ramen? Because I think onigiri is way better than noodles soaked in soup."

"STOP HAVING SUCH A CASUAL CONVERSATION!" Noah, Caprilla, Noelle, and some gruff voices from the other end of the cavern shouted, the combined roar pounding painfully on Sammy's eardrums. The young pirate captain clamped his hands tightly over his ears.

Out of the darkness stepped a group of eight people. At the lead, a heavily muscular man with a bushy, red beard and mustache grasped the arm of a thin, pale-skinned boy. With his other hand, he brandished a large battleaxe. On top of his head sat a small, horned Viking helmet which hardly concealed his balding head.

"Really?" exclaimed Sammy in disbelief. "A Viking helmet? Those things are _so_ outdated, you know."

Sammy's comment, for some odd reason, seemed to make the balding man very angry. "You brat!" he snarled, the grip on his axe tightening. "I already have to deal with this annoying one. Plus, I made a vow not to hurt any more children! I don't want to break another new year's resolution."

Sammy grinned. "Yeah? Well, I made a vow not to beat up anymore fake pirate kings wearing ridiculous Viking helmets!" He raised a threatening fist. "Let's what you're made of, eh?"

"Yeah, _Redbeard_. Let go of the weird kid and we won't bust up that balding head of yours," Noah chimed in.

Redbeard's face grew as red as his beard. "Fools!" he shouted, ready to charge at the group.

"Hold on, Boss," said one of Redbeard's companions. He had greasy, graying hair dangling over his eyes. His mouth was fixed in a permanent sneer. "We have the advantage here. We got a hostage, right?"

Redbeard reluctantly lowered his axe. Another of his crewmates spoke. "Plus, we need to hurry up and find that gold. According to the recent readings on the seismometer, the volcano might explode at any moment."

Sammy's eyes widened. "Volcano?"

Just then, the ground began to tremble.

"Wow, Mommy. The volcano must be really angry with all the pirates down here," Rummy murmured. He smiled dreamily.

Noah snorted. "I told you he's demented."

"Shut up. You're annoying me," Caprilla snapped in reply.

"What does demented mean?" I think you can guess who asked that question.

"This is boring. When is the plot going to pick up?" growled Noelle.

"You're right. This author is beginning to annoy me."

Redbeard and his companions waited patiently for the central characters to calm down. When they showed no signs of doing so, Redbeard yelled, "I REDBEARD, CAPTAIN OF THE REDBEARD PIRATES, DEMAND YOU ALL TO SHUT UP!" The volcano grumbled in agreement.

An angry tick appeared on Caprilla's forehead. "Oh, so this annoying, balding prick wants to fight?" she said, cracking her knuckles.

Redbeard copied the action, the cracking of his knuckles significantly louder than Caprilla's. "I thought you'd never ask!"

"Uh, Boss?" a crewmate murmured uneasily. "Shouldn't we go? Like, seriously, this volcano might explode at, like, right now or something."

Sammy didn't rely on his hearing very much, but he didn't like something about the sound of these pirates. Most of all, he didn't like how they addressed their captain. Not that the captain was any decent himself.

"I suppose you're right," Redbeard said with a sigh. He turned, dragging Rummy along as he made his way deeper into the cavern. Rummy continued to smile, seemingly unconcerned by his predicament. "Frygep and Rupert. You make sure those four don't follow. Lintle, Domer, Lochlan, come with me."

"You actually think you can get away? Let go of Rummy, balding bastard!" Caprilla shouted. She rushed at Redbeard, whipping off her glasses.

The oily-haired man stopped her by barring her path, two thin blades in his hands. Caprilla skidded to a halt and ducked as the man swung at her, his swords whistling through the air where her head had been two seconds ago. Caprilla leapt backwards and glowered at her opponent. The man snickered and ran his tongue along the edge of one of his blades, promptly causing Caprilla to grimace in disgust.

"Hey, they're getting away!" Sammy called as he watched Redbeard's group (minus the two who were left behind) fade into the darkness. He pouted as, when he tried to follow, a large man with a parrot tattoo on his cheek almost punched him into the ground.

"YOU'RE IN MY WAY!" hollered Caprilla as she sprinted towards the greasy-haired swordsman. The man only continued to sneer as he dodged easily and extended both swords. Caprilla jumped over him, the tip of his blade catching her on the arm. The swordsman began an attack, but quickly stopped and dove to the side as the blade of a saber almost sliced his arm off.

"Honestly!" was all Noah could manage before the other swordsman directed a blow to his shoulder. Noah parried the two blades with just a swipe from his own. He counterattacked with a swift slash downwards soon followed by three more, the flashing of the steel forming a star-like afterimage. However, the oily-haired swordsman either dodged or blocked all four strikes. Noah smiled wryly. "Dang it."

The oily-haired swordsman dropped into a fighting stance. "My name is Frygep, the Hope Thrasher! I am the strongest swordsman in the world and first mate of the pirate king!" He pointed a sword at Noah. "Your skills are impressive, but you will not win against me!"

Noah ran a hand through his curly hair and sighed, then suddenly lashed out with his sword. It was not an attack, but a barrier. Noah turned to Caprilla, who had begun to advance during the lull in the fight. "No, Caprilla. This is a duel between swordsmen. You can't use a sword, and you're not a man. Therefore, you don't fit the requirements." This statement earned his a punch in the face.

"You really annoy me, Noah!" Caprilla hissed. She then crossed her arms and relented. "Fine. I'll let you handle this one."

Noah chuckled and raised his saber. Meanwhile, Sammy had encountered a very, very big problem.

"I'll defeat you, Parrot Man! Just you wait!" Sammy cried. "But first I have to find Steggy!"

The man with the parrot tattoo, Rupert, rubbed his eyes in exasperation as Sammy scoured the cavern floor, searching desperately for his stegosaurus figurine. He glanced at the heated exchange of blows between Frygep and the tall, curly-haired man. The two seemed to be equals, slashing and cutting with a terrifying grace. Both showed no signs of tiring as they bit at each other with their swords.

"Noooo! Where are you, Steggy?"

Rupert sighed. Well, kids were kids. No one could change that fact.

"S-Steggy! Where…WHERE ARE YOU?" Sammy, on the verge of tears, fell to his knees. He threw his arms into the air in despair. "Why, cruel world? WHY?"

"Isn't he overreacting?" Rupert muttered to himself. He had never had anything in his childhood so precious that he would have sincerely mourned its loss. The man scratched his chin, wondering what this 'Steggy' could possibly be.

Sammy suddenly sprung to his feet, grinning triumphantly. "Don't worry, everyone!" he shouted with a small chuckle. "I found him! The crisis is over! He was in my pocket!" Standing proudly on the palm of Sammy's hand was a shining stegosaurus figurine in pristine condition.

Rupert gawked. The figurine was truly a thing a beauty. Every tiny detail had been carefully etched and painted. The glaze seemed to glitter in what little light was available in the cavern. Never before had the parrot-tattooed man seen anything so magnificent. No wonder the spiky-haired kid had seemed so anguished when he had lost it.

"Now, we can begin our fight, Parrot Man!" yelled Sammy, pointing his index finger at Rupert in challenge.

"The name's Rupert," said Rupert. "And you're making a big mistake by picking a fight with a Redbeard pirate."

Sammy frowned. "You know, some lady told me the exact same thing earlier today, except it had something to do with gravestones. But guess what happened!"

"You won?"

"Well, we never really had a real fight, but I know I would've won!"

Rupert sighed again. "Look, kid. I can see you're a good person, but children can't go around fighting much stronger people. It goes against the laws of nature."

Sammy carefully placed Steggy in his pocket. After making sure his precious friend/figurine was safe, he turned and clenched his fist. "To hell with the laws of nature!" he howled, lunging at the bigger man.

Rupert, caught off guard, could only stumble to the side as Sammy sailed past, an odd aura surrounding his fist. Sammy bent his knees and slid to a standstill, dust whirling around his feet. He bent down and slammed his palm against the rocky ground. After two seconds, Sammy squealed in pain.

"Ow! The ground is really hard!" he shouted, examining his throbbing hand. "Why did I even do that in the first place?"

Rupert extended a hand, moving his fingers with exaggerated motions. "This is my ability. You're my puppet now, kid."

Sammy's eyes widened as he began to dance the hokey pokey. "No! Stop it!" His pleas fell upon deaf ears as he put his right foot in, then put his right foot out, then put it back in and shook it all about.

This continued for quite a while before Caprilla decided to intervene, though probably not in the best interests of Sammy. "That dance is annoying. I think you should stop, _now_."

"I can't help it!" squeaked Sammy. "The parrot man is controlling me!"

"No excuses!" Caprilla punched Sammy in the jaw, sending the poor boy flying. She then turned her attention to Rupert. "What a ridiculous tattoo. Who are you supposed to be?"

Rupert smiled. "I'm the 'Puppet Master' of Arcania. Call me Rupert."

"The Puppet Master? He's supposed to be dead," Caprilla said. "You're obviously a fake, along with your swordsman friend."

"Would you like to test us?" Rupert challenged, making a beckoning motion towards Caprilla.

Caprilla shook her head with a dismissive wave of her hand. "Nah. Just don't look behind you."

Rupert smirked and rolled up his sleeves. "Reverse psychology won't work on me."

"Oh?"

Rupert cried out in pain as someone slashed him from behind. He collapsed onto the ground. Straining his neck, he looked over his shoulder and stared up into crimson red eyes. Then, the heel of a high heel obscured his vision.

After stomping on the pirate's head, Noelle jerked her thumb towards Noah and Frygep. "Just how long are they going to fight? It's getting really boring," she asked, yawning.

"Hey, someone help?" whined Sammy. He had crashed into stalactite and the rock had pinned him to the ground. He looked at Noelle and Caprilla with pleading eyes.

The two promptly turned their backs.

Meanwhile, Frygep began to falter. The tip of Noah's saber sliced a red line across his cheek. A thin trail of blood streaked across the air. Frygep, caught off guard, stumbled back. Sensing an opening, Noah pressed forward, but Frygep managed to block.

"Ha! You are a worthy opponent!" Frygep exclaimed, lunging while swinging at Noah's head. Noah stepped quickly to the side, but Frygep's blades managed to score two long furrows down his arm.

Noah retreated a few steps and frowned. "Ow. This arm won't work to well now. I didn't want to use this," he muttered. Reaching behind him, he withdrew something from beneath his cloak. It was another saber, identical to the one he currently held.

"You had two?"

Noah flashed a proud grin. "As a treasure hunter, I always carry two of everything," he said. "Just in case."

Frygep could barely react before Noah rushed at him, arms swinging in casual, yet alarmingly fast, arcs. Moments later, Noah dragged an unconscious Frygep to a sitting position against the wall of the cavern.

"Took you long enough," mumbled Caprilla.

"You're just ungrateful," Noah retorted, wrapping his bleeding arm in strips of cloth torn from his cloak.

"Well, you're the one who stopped me from fighting in the first place!"

"I'm more worried about this volcano those people were talking about," said Noelle, interrupting the friendly conversation. "Sounds like it's going to erupt soon."

Caprilla scowled. "The annoying pirates just want to scare you."

And then everything began to rumble and shake with a much greater intensity than it had when the Gravestone Pirates had been exploding dynamite aboveground.

Noah raised an eyebrow at Caprilla, who didn't seem to be taking to the shaking quite well. "You were saying?"

* * *

><p>UN: Whale is best served with Oregano

The above message was brought to you by the ever so helpful Orrahn, who uploaded this chapter when the site wouldn't allow me to do so. You can thank him by reading and reviewing his story, One Piece: Age of the Four Seasons!

And we finally meet the true antagonists of the arc! What do the so-called pirate king and his followers want with Rummy? When will the volcano erupt? Will Sammy and friends survive the EXPLOSION? I will be wrapping up this arc in one or two more chapters. Next chapter: a new arc begins! Tavvy's first mission!


	18. Ravioli Island Arc: Debriefing

~Tavvy~

"Blah blah blah, proud to be here, blah blah blah, code of honor and all that crap, blah blah blah, so it is with the greatest honor that I welcome Tavvy and Bailey to the Branch Seventeen of the Marines. Alright, everyone please remember to pay all your fees by the end of the week. NOW GET LOST BEFORE I DOCK YOUR PAY!"

People quickly dispersed from the gathering place in the southern part of the base. It had perhaps been one of the quickest ceremonies Marie had ever executed. Even Oya's had been elongated due to his insistence on being awarded chocolate at the ceremony. Most of the Marines had found a way to send their congratulations to the two newcomers before the ceremony even began, since word spreads quickly of two youngsters supposedly defeating a rear admiral in hand-to-hand combat. The two had needed three large garbage bags each in order to dispose of the congratulation cards.

"That was fun!" Tavvy exclaimed after exiting the ceremony place. He glanced at Bailey, who didn't seem to share the white-haired boy's opinion.

"Fun? Yeah, sure. Loads of fun."

Oya came up behind the two and slung his arms around their shoulders. "Heeeeey! Let's go eat! It's time ta celebrate!"

Bailey grunted in disapproval as the ecstatic Tavvy and Oya dragged him to the mess hall. That day's special: meatloaf surprise. After eating about three bites, and watching with wide eyes as Tavvy and Oya stuffed about three pounds of food down their throats, Bailey was then forced to participate in a race through the halls of the base, running over some people in the process. Oya and Tavvy tied for first place, leaving Bailey coughing in the (mysteriously appearing) dust.

"Stop right there!" shouted a vaguely familiar voice as the threesome made to rush off to the arcade.

Bailey grimaced. He remembered to whom that voice belonged.

"I am a Lieutenant! Lieutenant Greneland, that is. How dare you run me over? I'll report you!"

Oya let out a low growl. "Shut up, ya noisy bastard. Yer voice makes me head hurt!"

"And your voice makes me angry!"

"You n' me both, Greneland!"

The two snarled at each other. Then Greneland noticed the other two. Or rather, just Tavvy. "YOU!" shouted Greneland.

"ME!" shouted Tavvy.

"YOU!"

"ME!"

"I'm confused," Bailey admitted. "Can this even be considered an argument?"

And then, Genesis's merry voice over the PA system announced something that would change the entire course of the day. "_Attention_ _all those present within the base! Kokie has returned from vacation. I repeat, Kokie has returned from vacation. Please be on your best behavior, since I can't guarantee your_ _safety if you aren't!_"

Greneland and Oya paled significantly.

"I thought she wouldn't come back till a week from tomorrow," Greneland muttered, slightly uneasy.

Oya whimpered. "I need ta go hide in a closet until Kokie decides to go on vacation again," he said, scampering off.

"Who's Kokie?" Bailey asked a Marine who happened to be passing by.

The Marine tugged at his collar, a sweat breaking out on his brow. "Well, uh, you see…let's just put it this way. She…she can rival even Marie's horrible temper. It's best if you stay on her good side." With that, the Marine fled the scene.

"WHAAAAAT?" screamed Tavvy. "ANOTHER KEEPER OF MARIA-SAN'S SCARINESS AND CRUELTY?" He began to run around in circles, arms flailing about.

"Stop this at once!" Greneland commanded. "Such unruly behavior!"

"Mind your own business!"

"I'm not sure you understand. Stop running around or else we'll all be killed!"

"Like I'm listening to you! I don't even know who you are!"

Bailey hid his face in his hands, hoping no one watching would group him together with the two. But that would soon be the least of his worries.

"I just return from vacation, and this is how they greet me?" said a dark-skinned woman wearing purple-tinted sunglasses. "Arguing in the hallways. Unacceptable!"

"K-Kokie!" Greneland squeaked, reeling backwards. He seemed to recover from the shock and pointed at Tavvy. "I-I can explain…he started it!"

"Like I give a damn about who started it!" Kokie lifted her glasses onto her forehead, exposing flashing, brown eyes. Her black hair had been braided into cornrows and was held in place with a tie-dye bandana. She wore a green sports jacket over a dark blue tank top with a long, red and yellow cloth tied around her hips like a skirt. A dark leather satchel was slung over her shoulder. She pointed three fingers at Greneland, then spread them out so that the other two were directed towards Tavvy and Bailey. "To my office. Now!"

So the three had no choice but to follow the scary woman down the twisting corridors of the base, Greneland and Tavvy glaring at each other all the while. Bailey wondered why he was there. He really needed to get his life straightened out. Kokie finally stopped and wrenched open the door, gesturing for everyone to enter. "In!"

"KOKIE?" Marie screamed as four people entered her office.

Tavvy fainted on the spot in fear. Greneland cringed and plugged his ears. Bailey just smacked himself in the face and began to bang his head against the wall.

"I thought I'd bring you some trouble makers," Kokie replied. "Discipline, Marie. Discipline!"

"Shut up!"

Tundra, who had been sipping coffee in the corner of the room, scratched his head and began to debate whether he should intervene or just sit there and wait for the two to exhaust themselves. "I have my coffee," he murmured to himself, nodding slightly and picking up the newspaper. He decided to wait a bit. No one noticed him.

"Get out of my office!"

"Don't be ridiculous, Marie. We're sharing this office. Remember?"

Marie rose to her feet, pistol in hand. "I'll shoot you!"

Kokie drew her own pistol from her satchel. "I'll shoot you first!"

"Why can't we just all be friends?" moaned Bailey in despair. No one listened to him.

A young man with black eyes and messy copper-colored hair dressed in the standard Marine uniform opened the office door to reveal an intense gunfight between two infuriated women. Three others were crouched on the ground, hands covering their heads, while another quietly read a newspaper and drank coffee from a blue mug. "I have a message to deliver!" the man shouted over the clamor of bullets ricocheting off various objects in the office. "Rear Admiral! Hey, Rear Admiral!"

"What do you want?" Marie and Kokie asked at the same time. They glowered at each other, then turned their steely gazes to the young Marine.

The Marine, completely unperturbed at the glares of the infuriated women, raised a piece of paper. "It's me, Warrant Officer Rockwell from the Transmission Unit. We received a message from the group we sent out five days ago to handle the missing persons case on Ravioli Island. Apparently, they're in deep trouble, but their message was cut short due to some tampering, so we don't know what's going on."

Marie grumbled something incoherent.

"What was that, Rear Admiral?" Warrant Officer Rockwell asked.

"I said it's their own problem so we should just let them sort it out themselves."

Rockwell chuckled. "Sorry, Rear Admiral. The people who requested the mission want another team to speed things up." When Marie looked about to refuse, he added, "Oh, yes. They're also willing to pay double for any inconvenience."

Marie responded right after she heard 'pay double'. For a fleeting moment, beli symbols replaced her eyes. "Sounds good to me. Commission approved."

"So easy," Rockwell said under his breath, smirking. "Alright, who are you going to send?"

Marie didn't answer. She looked at Kokie, who just shrugged. Kokie then looked over to the three figures still cowering in fear on the floor. "What about those three?"

Marie was quick to agree. "Two of them are new, so I don't have to pay them as much. I approve."

Rockwell didn't seem so certain. "I can't trust two newbies and that World Noble's son," he spat. "We'll need someone more experienced." His gaze wandered over to where Tundra continued to read his newspaper. Soon, Marie and Kokie were also watching the forgetful Marine.

Tundra realized something was wrong when he heard the three stop talking. Then he felt the pressure of three pairs of eyes upon him. He tried to ignore it, but eventually looked up. "Why are you staring at me?" he asked cautiously, raising the coffee mug to his lips.

"How about a vacation, Tundra?" Kokie suggested, moving over to his side and slinging a slender arm around his shoulders.

"To where?"

Kokie slowly swept her arm across the room. In a dreamy voice, she said, "Ravioli Island!"

Tundra spit out his coffee. "No!" he screamed. "Not there! I'm never going back there!" And then he ran out of the room, mug and paper still in hand.

Kokie seemed slightly disappointed, but then shrugged it off. "After what happened last time, I can't say I expected any other reaction."

"What happened last time?" asked Tavvy, finally managing to lift his head from the ground. "What's so bad about ravioli? Ravioli is delicious!"

"Idiot! Get down before they shoot you!" both Bailey and Greneland whispered furiously while yanking down the white-haired boy by the arms.

Rockwell turned to Kokie and Marie. "This is why we need to send someone reliable on this mission," he said, casting a distrustful glance at the three on the floor.

An awkward silence fell upon the room. The reason? Marie's next words just about summed things up. "There is no reliable person in this accursed base, Rockwell, you idiot." More awkward silence ensued.

"What about me?" came Tavvy's quiet voice.

"WHAT ABOUT YOU?" Kokie, Marie, Bailey, and Greneland shrieked, completely dumbfounded by the sheer nerve of the teenager to speak up in such a situation.

Tavvy raised a proud fist. "Ivan-sama said that if I should ever recklessly charge into danger, I should do so with the true optimism of a brave warrior!"

"You mean a stupid warrior," muttered Bailey.

"Don't insult Ivan-sama's words of pure wisdom!"

"You mean words of pure bullshit," Marie corrected.

"I'm telling on you all!"

"GO AHEAD!"

~two hours later~

Marie and Kokie sat next to each other at the same desk. A semicircle of five chairs had been arranged across from the desk. Rockwell sat vigilantly upright in his seat, waiting for the debriefing to begin. Greneland also maintained an elegant posture, adjusting his collar from time to time. Bailey had his head in his hands and felt as though he was about to die from exhaustion. Next to him, Tavvy pouted with his arms crossed over his chest. And of course, the last seat belonged to Tundra, who had been chased and captured and chained to the chair. Coffee stained his shirt.

"So," Kokie began, choosing a paper from a file. "We're assigning you five to provide assistance to a missing persons case at Ravioli Island."

Hearing this, Tundra tried desperately to free himself from his confinement, but to no avail. He cast a pleading look towards both Kokie and Marie, but neither would meet his gaze. He finally gave up and reflected on how he had gotten himself into this predicament in the first place. The only problem was that now he couldn't even remember what had happened.

"Warrant Officer Rockwell will remain here and offer technical support for the operation," Kokie continued. "Seaman Recruit Tavvy and Bailey, Lieutenant Greneland, and Commodore Tundra will travel to the island and try to locate the previous team. After that is achieved, we will then decide on further actions to take in the mission."

Kokie signaled to Rockwell. The Warrant Officer hefted a heavy metal case onto the desk and unclasped the lid. "These are devices to be kept on your bodies at all times," Rockwell announced. He handed each person an earpiece, a tiny microphone, and a square sheet of paper. The paper twitched constantly.

"Paper?" said Bailey in a quizzical tone.

"It's a vivre card. Hodge's vivre card, to be exact. He's the leader of the other team and a good friend of mine. The paper will point in the direction he's currently at. Also, if the card begins to burn on its own, that means Hodge's life is withering away, so keep a close eye on it."

"Wow! That's so cool!" Tavvy shouted, watching the paper move with fixed fascination. He then thought of something and dug around in his pockets, producing a very similar piece of paper. "Hey, is this a vivre card too?"

Rockwell took the paper and examined it. "Yes, it is, though it seems slightly different than the regular kind. It's not moving at all, but it seems the life it is connected to is perfectly fine."

At first, Tavvy displayed an expression of shock, but it was soon replaced by a wide grin. "Awesome!"

Kokie coughed, though she seemed to be trying to say something. "The mission!"

"Ah, yes." Rockwell smiled and laced his fingers together. "I guess it will be helpful to know what the original mission was intended for." He removed an envelope from the suitcase and retrieved a photograph. It showed a young woman with a heap of curly blonde hair. She wore too much makeup and her smile never reached her eyes. "This is Princess Biscotti. She disappeared a week ago. She comes from a family of nobles and likes to eat…uh, well…biscotti. Her parents originally thought she had gone on a secret leisure trip, but after not returning for two days, they requested our help."

Tundra grimaced. "I. Hate. Bis-cot-ti," he muttered, making a point of annunciating each and every syllable.

"The Princess or the food?" Tavvy asked, unable to restrain himself from inquiring.

"Both!" Tundra once again tried to free himself.

Rockwell sighed. "Look, Tundra. It's not that big of a deal. Just go in, find the princess, then come back."

"Find the princess!" scoffed Tundra. "My name isn't Mario! I don't run around collecting mushrooms! I would never go through the trouble of looking for a princess, especially not _that_ princess."

Marie smiled at this, but quickly hid it as Kokie gave her a look that said, _really?_

"If you'd like, I'll keep a watch over Commodore Tundra during the mission," Greneland volunteered. He glanced disdainfully at the commodore.

Rockwell smiled broadly. "Why not?" He looked to Marie and Kokie for confirmation. Kokie nodded, but Marie frowned.

"Tundra isn't some crazy kid who will run around doing weird stuff," Marie stated, her words seemingly solely directed towards Tavvy. The teen gulped.

"But he might forget about the entire operation…or get lost…or try to find the coffee room," Rockwell pointed out.

"Then why do you even want to send him?"

"Well, in case there is a need for smart, quick decisions only someone experienced in field work can make. You know Tundra's excellent reputation, despite his many…quirks."

Marie scowled. "You have an argument for everything, don't you Rockwell?"

Rockwell gave a small smile, making a dismissive gesture with his hand. "I try."

"Back to the mission," Kokie reminded, completely fed up with the current conversation.

Noticing Kokie's irritation, Rockwell hurriedly passed out an envelope to each of the four who would go on the mission. For Tundra, he just placed it in his lap.

Bailey opened his envelope and paled instantly. "An invitation to a party?"

"Queen Lasagna, Princess Biscotti's mother, is hosting a ball in your honor. All four of you are required to attend. And yes, you must dress appropriately. You are representing the Marines, so you cannot look like a bunch of slobs."

Tavvy's mouth hung open. "WHAAAAT?" he howled. "I can't dance! Ivan-sama never taught me!"

Rockwell let out a small noise of exasperation. "Dancing is optional. You are just there to make the Marines look good. If anyone asks you for a dance, just politely refuse."

Tavvy seemed profoundly relieved. But then another issue came to mind. "I don't have any fancy clothes, though! Can't I just wear the uniform?"

Rockwell looked to Marie for an explanation. Rather reluctantly, she said, "Since this is a high-priority assignment, the branch will pay for all expenses, including tailoring for those who need 'fancy clothes.'" The rear admiral glared as both Tavvy and Bailey sighed in relief.

"And that's it," Rockwell concluded, closing the suitcase and rising to his feet. "Well, I am needed back at the transmission center. We have a brand new ship waiting in the cargo bay. It is rather small, since the voyage will only last for about a day. There will be six other crew members to man the ship. You are expected to depart in four hours." He left the office, the door clicking shut behind him.

"What are you waiting for?" Marie asked the remaining three. "SCRAM!"

Greneland, Bailey, and Tavvy disappeared from the room in half a second. A disgruntled Tundra remained chained to his chair. It took about three minutes for both Marie and Kokie to realize this fact.

"Sorry, Tundra," Marie apologized, standing. She walked behind Tundra and took the padlock in her hand. "Kokie, hand me the key."

"I don't have it," said Kokie rather bluntly.

Once again, the god of awkward silence visited the room.

Marie rubbed her eyes. "Oh, great. Hold on, I'll go get the chainsaw."

~four hours later~

Tavvy adjusted his tie and studied his reflection in the glass pane of a window. "I look classy," he said to himself, grinning. The dress shirt was a bit tight, but besides that, it all fit very well. Everything about his appearance shouted perfection, even though Tavvy thought he looked a bit like a penguin in his black tuxedo. The tailor had gone through the trouble of also tidying up his hair. The finicky man had slicked it back with gel so that it glittered in the light.

As he rode the elevator down to the cargo bay, Tavvy wondered why the tailor had even bothered with his hair. He was a tailor. His specialty was supposed to be in clothing, not hair.

"What happened to you?" Bailey asked as Tavvy approached.

Tavvy neared his friend and almost screamed. "What happened to _you_?"

Bailey's cap was gone, revealing short ginger hair. He also wore a black tuxedo and dress pants. Tavvy, used to seeing the scruffy, mischievous Bailey, was quite taken aback by the sudden transformation.

"Oh, please. Appearing refined is not such a horrid thing," Greneland said with a sneer. He gracefully strode near the ship wearing a dark green cape over his black jacket with silver embroidering. His tie was patterned with checkers of varying shades of green. He took a gold pocket watch from his breast pocket and studied it with annoyance. "Tundra is late."

Just as the words escaped Greneland's mouth, the doors to the elevator opened and a man stepped out. His snow-white hair flecked with black hung in light wisps around his face. A long black coat covered his body, the bottom flapping behind him. In his right hand he carried a cane of dark wood gilded in gold with the image of crawling ivy.

"Don't tell me—" began Bailey.

"It can't be—" Greneland tried to say.

"Wait, who are you?" Tavvy asked, pointing to the newcomer.

Tundra brushed a stray strand of hair behind his ear. Without commenting, he moved past his three companions and boarded the ship.

"How can someone like him appear so…so elegant? He can actually act dignified?" Greneland seemed truly perplexed at the notion.

The three of them stood there, contemplating this new development, though Tavvy still wasn't sure who the person was. After a few minutes, someone from onboard the ship yelled, "Are you slowpokes gonna stand there forever? We'll leave without you if you don't get your asses up here in the next sixty seconds!"

Tavvy rushed to climb the ramp leading to the deck. Bailey followed. After grumbling about the excessive use of expletives in regular speech, Greneland also hurried on board.

"I am Master Chief Petty Officer Dohoman and will be acting as the captain of this vessel!" shouted a large man with a scary, graying beard. "You will address me as 'Captain' or 'Captain Dohoman'! Understood?"

"Understood!"

"Good! Let us set off. Hickory, Shogg, Uperton! Get rowing!"

The three sailors took the oars and rowed the ship to the ocean. The rubble had been cleared from the other day's fight, leaving only the remnants of the structure for the cargo bay. The docks had been completely annihilated.

Once the ship cleared the cliffs blocking and wind and reached the open ocean, Dohoman called for the sails to be raised. The speed picked up and the ship set course for Ravioli Island.

Tavvy stretched leisurely. He could hear the steady lapping of waves against the hull of the ship. The rough, yet heartwarming tune of the sailors' singing as they worked made him want to join in. And he did, much to the annoyance of Greneland.

* * *

><p>And the site is finally working for me! Hope this lasts.<p>

Tavvy's first mission! The objective: find the other team and Princess Biscotti! But first they have to survive the grand ball! This chapter seems a bit centered on Tundra, which wasn't my intention, but I guess it'll do.

P.S. I was really hungry when I wrote this. Italian food just seemed best for the situation.


	19. CMG Arc: The Cameraman

~Sammy~

"Heeeelp," croaked Sammy from under the rock. He was ignored.

"This is bad," said Noah. "There are many of people down here. If this volcano explodes and the tunnels and caverns cave in, then they'll all die."

Caprilla grit her teeth. "And exactly what are you going to do about it?"

Noah glanced at his injured arm. It wasn't bleeding as much as he had expected, but it wouldn't hold out in another battle. He turned his attention away. "Alright. Caprilla, you can go chase that red-bearded moron and rescue Rummy. Take Dino-Lover and Noelle with you. I'll organize everyone else down here and find a way to get to the surface."

"You do realize that everyone down here hates you."

Noah sighed. "Do you have any better ideas?"

"Nope. I'm fine with you dying at the hands of a mob of angry cave dwellers. Such a death would suit you very well." Caprilla smiled smugly as Noah grimaced.

"Nice to know you care." An intense rumble caused Noah to topple over. After the shaking stopped, he stood up unsteadily. "Right. I'll get going. See you later." He waved casually, walking away quickly on his long legs.

Caprilla pushed her glasses onto her face and cracked her knuckles. "Idiot," she muttered. She turned and glared at Sammy. "Here's the plan! If you can't keep up with my speed, then you can die a painful death."

"That's not a plan!" Sammy exclaimed, still struggling to remove the large chunk of rock pinning him to the ground.

"Too bad for you."

Sammy, with an incredible burst of strength, managed to heave the rock off his back. "Fine! I accept your challenge! Bring it, lady!"

Caprilla smirked. "You asked for it." She crouched, tensed her leg muscles, then sprinted off, leaving only a thin trail of whirling dust.

"Holy shit," muttered Sammy. "WAIT FOR ME!" He ran after the rapidly disappearing line of dust, his arms flailing around.

Noelle scowled. Reluctantly, she took off her high heels, losing a few inches to her height in the process. Then she too began the chase, cursing tall people as she ran.

~with Noah~

A tall person sneezed. Noah rubbed his nose. "Allergies?" he wondered aloud. Shaking his head, he continued down the narrow stone hallway he had managed to squeeze into. Noah took a step, bumping his head on the rock above. He cursed short people. Not only was the passage narrow, but it had obviously been made for beings severely lacking in height. Another bump on the head made Noah punch the ceiling in frustration. With bleeding knuckles, he resumed his trek, grumbling to himself under his breath. "Exploding volcano…crazy adolescents…gravestones…" Immersed in his muttering, he didn't notice a small stalactite hanging down from the ceiling until he walked right into it, the impact breaking the skin on his forehead.

Noah stopped and stood there in shock. He then threw his head back and yelled, "WHY DOES EVERYTHING HATE ME?" The stalactite broke off and stabbed Noah in the foot. The curly-haired man wrenched it out and threw it against the wall of the passage with a loud grunt. The cone-shaped stone bounced back and whacked him in the jaw, causing Noah to stumble backwards into the opposing wall. Once again, he banged his head. Noah tried to stand up, but his foot came down upon the stalactite, which rolled out from underneath him. The crash nearly broke a rib.

After several more minutes, a bruised, bleeding, and severely irritated Noah finally forced open a stone door and stepped into a larger corridor. He tripped on an inconsistency in the otherwise smookth stone ground and fell flat on his face. Finding he did not have the strength nor the willpower to even try standing up, Noah just lay there, breathing heavily.

"Well, well! If it isn't the magpie, yeah?"

Noah looked up to see Boss standing a few yards away. "Hammer, please shut up."

Boss, covered head-to-toe in makeshift bandages, frowned deeply. "Yo, yo. You look horrible, yeah? Got beat up by those stupid pirates, yeah, yeah?"

Noah covered his ears. "Shut up."

"What, what? Don't tell me to shut up, yeah?"

"I already did. Twice."

"WHAT, WHAT? You said it TWICE, yeah?" The very idea of it seemed completely shocking.

"Yeah. Now, shut up. Look, that makes it thrice."

"THRICE?" Boss howled. "That's it, magpie, yeah? You're asking for a fight, yeah?"

Noah rolled his eyes. "Defeating you is like defeating a dead fish; you get past the disgustingness only to find that the fish is already dead."

"You, you! You're gonna pay for that, yeah?" Boss began to hobble towards Noah with an awkward gait. "Just you wait, yeah? I'll bust your brains out, yeah, yeah?"

Noah smirked, only to find he couldn't move his legs. "Uh-oh…" He tried to push himself up, but found he couldn't move his arms either. He looked into the camera a smiled cynically. "This is a joke, isn't it?"

The cameraman shook his head.

"Good, God."

And then Boss tripped on another inconsistency in the smookth stone floor. He landed heavily, his head millimeters away from Noah's. He turned towards the camera. "Wait, wait!" he protested. "Is this really in the script, yeah?"

The cameraman just shrugged.

"What's that supposed to mean, yeah?"

Again, the cameraman shrugged.

"Since when was this story filmed?" Noah asked.

Once again, the cameraman shrugged.

"BE MORE USEFUL, YOU FREAKING CAMERAMAN!"

"Hey, hey," Boss began darkly. "This cameraman isn't gonna spill the beans, yeah?" He narrowed his eyes.

Noah let a small smile pass over his lips. "If he's not going to talk on his own, something has to make him." He turned to Boss. "How 'bout it, Hammer? We'll team up…just this once."

Boss grinned. "Now you're talking, yeah?"

The cameraman gulped.

~with Sammy (and Noelle some distance behind)~

"That lady is way too fast!" Sammy wailed, his legs aching. He stopped to catch his breath. "How is that possible?"

"Stop complaining!" Noelle cried, her voice echoing off the cavern walls for quite some time before reaching Sammy's ears. "You're already too fast!"

"Yeah, but it's like she has super powers or something!"

"Well, she technically does," Noelle muttered under her breath.

"Huh? Did you say something?"

Before Noelle could shout an irritated reply, Sammy ran straight into a wall. He recoiled, stumbling about as he made sure his face was still intact. By some odd stroke of horrible luck, he backed into an old wooden cart that had probably been left there from an old excavation project and fell in. The cart began to roll down a set of tracks that lead into a declining dark tunnel. Noelle managed to reach the cart in time for Sammy to grab her arm in desperation before the wheels rolled towards the beginning of a slope. Noelle glared at Sammy, who smiled sheepishly as the cart plummeted down, carrying its two utterly freaked out passengers.

Noelle was far beyond pissed. "YOU *censored for your protection* IDIOT! I'LL *censored for your protection* AND *censored for your protection* AND *censored for your protection*! YOU HEAR ME?"

"I hear you," Sammy replied weakly, his ears ringing. He wasn't sure if he had ever heard language like that before in his whole entire life. That was saying something, considering he had spent most of his life in Maria's presence.

A sudden inclination of the tracks propelled the two into the air. Then gravity pulled them back down and they were rolling along again. Somehow, Sammy ended up under Noelle.

"Nr moog n m mi!" he said.

"What?" Noelle then realized she was stepping on Sammy's face. She recoiled and almost fell out of the cart.

"I said, your foot is on my face!" Sammy shouted, standing up abruptly. He banged his head on the ceiling of the tunnel and fell back down. "Ow."

Noelle was about to yell again, when she felt the cart disappear from underneath her feet. She looked down and yelped…because there wasn't anything under her. They had emerged into a natural gap inside the rock that seemed to extend downwards forever. A bridge had been built for the tracks, but it was rotten and broken.

It was a calm sensation. Just floating in the air for those few half-seconds. Then, the two felt a familiar tug of gravity.

Sammy screamed. He imagined Tavvy standing in front of an army of Marines, grinning proudly and displaying a whole array of shining medals. Then he imagined himself, falling endlessly with a crazy, silver-haired midget. Why was life so cruel?

Noelle screamed. She imagined her teacher, that old, stubborn lady, who had taught her the art of cooking. She was probably laughing her ass off and making delicious sushi. Then she imagined herself, falling endlessly with a crazy, spiky-haired teenage idiot. Why was life so cruel?

Fortunately for both of them, something whizzed out of nowhere and tackled them, rushing them to the other side of the bridge before they slipped to the point of no return. An angry and highly irritated voice snapped them from their crazed state. "You two brats are extremely annoying!"

"HOLY MACKEREL!" Sammy exclaimed. "It's a cheater!"

Caprilla punched Sammy in the face. "You two are so annoying that I had to backtrack and save you instead of doing what I wanted to do."

"Uh…thanks?"

"Don't mention it." Caprilla squinted in front of her. She rubbed her eyes, then put on her glasses. "Well, this is actually a pretty good thing. This tunnel leads directly to the chamber where the Mari Gold supposedly is kept," she said.

"Huh? Why is that a good thing?" Sammy asked.

"Because the pirates are after the Mari Gold," Caprilla explained, trying her best to keep the frustration out of her voice. She was failing miserably. "And if they're after the Mari Gold, wouldn't it make sense to go where the Mari Gold is?"

"Then why do they need a kid who always talks to his mommy?"

Caprilla punched Sammy in the face again. "Stop asking questions, you annoying brat!" She adjusted her glasses. "If you can't fight, then don't follow." With that, she walked down the tunnel, soon disappearing into the darkness.

"How are we supposed to follow if we can't even see?" Noelle muttered. Then reality struck her like a rhino charging a Styrofoam moose. She turned to Sammy. "You have that 'soul of sight' thing, right?"

Sammy grinned, pumping a fist into the air. "You got that right! We're gonna show that lady just how awesome the Joker Pirates are!" But it was hard to take him seriously since his cheek was severely swollen.

~with Noah and Boss~

Noah grimaced. He was such a fool. To think he would start hallucinating about shrugging cameramen. He imagined Caprilla's evil snickering in the back of his mind. Oh, the humiliation. At least the only person who knew of it was Boss, who wouldn't admit to seeing things either. However, this fact was also quite painful to his pride.

"Relying on a caveman," Noah whispered under his breath.

At the same time, Boss seemed to be having a similar idea. "Shoot, shoot. Relying on a magpie, yeah?"

The two hobbled down a stone corridor, side by side, constantly bumping into each other since they were both extremely unsteady. They both had a ghoulish look on their faces, no doubt from the beating that imaginary cameraman had given them. Who knew hallucinations could do roundhouse kicks?

"Hammer," Noah began as they reached a bend in the hallway, "there's a volcano that's just about ready to explode and everyone down here needs to evacuate, _right now_."

Boss stopped. "Hey, hey. Don't be pulling silly pranks on me, you magpie, yeah?" he growled in a threatening tone.

Noah also stopped. "Honestly, Hammer! Why would I joke about the lives of over three hundred people? Once this volcano explodes, anyone trapped down here will die."

"And you want me to believe that, yeah?"

"Yeah!" Noah responded with a mounting frustration. He paused. "Did I say yeah? I meant yes."

Boss pointed an accusing finger at Noah. "It's all 'cause of you that Sis became all mean, yeah? If you hadn't told all those stories of treasure and crap, Sis would still be happy, yeah, yeah?" he shrieked, his face turning bright red.

Noah took a backwards step, shocked by Boss's outburst. "It…it was Caprilla's own choice to go to the surface!" he spluttered in his defense. "You know I have no control over that crazy woman!"

Without responding, Boss lunged forward, a murderous gleam in his eyes. Noah shifted to the side, flinching as he couldn't quite dodge Boss's flying fist. It caught him on the shoulder, pushing it backwards with a weak, but effective force. Noah twisted and, unable to keep his balance, fell to the ground.

"Just listen, Hammer!" Noah shouted, blocking another punch with his hands. "If we don't cooperate, your friends are all going to die!"

"Shut up, shut up! You led the pirates here, yeah? It's all your fault, yeah?"

Noah did his best to stand. He managed a crouching position and tensed in preparation to jump away. "I guess I'll just have to beat some sense into you," he murmured. "Honestly!"

Boss was about to launch another round of blows, when the volcano rumbled with a new intensity. The ceiling cracked and rock fragments began to fall. A particularly large piece of stone descended at an alarmingly fast rate down to where Boss stood. Noah leapt towards him in a desperate attempt to push him out of the way. The stone landed with a sickening crash.

~with Sammy and Noelle~

Sammy closed his eyes, concentrating hard. Then, he opened them and could see a safe path that led through the darkness and into a cavern. Six people were advancing to the chamber from one direction and another lone person followed the safe path to the same destination. They would reach the chamber at approximately the same time.

"Alright!" Sammy said. "I can see the road ahead!" He smiled slightly, an almost unnoticeable movement.

Noelle was about to say something sarcastic, but decided no to do so. She noticed the determination in Sammy's eyes, something she hadn't seen before in the short time she had known him. It was almost reassuring to see his confidence, as if he knew things were going to turn out perfectly fine.

Sammy grabbed Noelle's hand and shouted, "Let's go!" With that, he sprinted into the darkness, once again dragging a reluctant Noelle behind him.

For about five minutes, they continued to run, their footsteps echoing loudly off the rough stone walls. Then, a faint glow appeared before them, growing larger and larger as they neared. All of a sudden, the two emerged from the darkness and ran straight into Caprilla, sending all three of them tumbling down a short flight of steps. Noelle managed to detangle herself from the other two and gasped for air. She scooted backwards as Caprilla practically exploded in rage.

"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING, YOU FUCKING BRAT!"

And then Redbeard appeared with a triumphant roar…and his ridiculous viking helmet. He noticed the others and immediately turned bright red. "You…you defeated Frygep and Rupert?"

Caprilla grinned and cracked her knuckles. "I'm gonna bust your ass, you red bastard!"

Sammy laughed and pulled out Steggy from his pocket. "Come on, Steggy! Let's show that super unfashionable dude some real style!"

Noelle turned to the camera. "Hopefully this arc ends in the next chapter. I'm really tired of being stuck underground." Then she looked at the cameraman in confusion. "Wait, have you been filming this the entire time?"

The cameraman just shrugged and continued his job.

* * *

><p>Geez, that was a long time. Here's a brief summary of the past 5 or 6 weeks: life. It's a complicated thing, ya know? Finals are coming up soon, so you might have to wait quite a while for the next chap as well.<p>

I made two deliberate spelling mistakes on the same word. Imaginary purple elephant plush for the person who can point them out!

So, yes. Hopefully, this underground adventure will end in the next Sammy chapter. If not, then too bad for Noelle. Oh, and long live the fourth wall-breaking cameraman! Those half-hearted jokes keep me sane (somehow). Thanks for reading!


	20. Ravioli Island Arc: Dolls

~Tavvy~

Tavvy tried very hard to figure out the identity of the person with the cane. The man was about six feet tall. He had white hair, but there were also some flecks of black here and there. He also had very clear blue eyes. Tavvy already knew someone else who fitted this description, but that person had spiky hair. This man's hair hung down in straight, wispy locks. What's more, the person Tavvy knew didn't look so grumpy.

"Why are you staring at me?" an irritated Tundra asked, looking up from a notepad he had been scribbling on.

"You look like a guy I know," Tavvy explained. "Except that his hair is spiky. Maybe you're related to him!"

Tundra scratched the back of his head. "Really? That's cool. We might meet someday."

Tavvy nodded enthusiastically. "Oh, yeah! He's a great person, but a bit on the slow side. You see, he keeps forgetting about how we don't have a coffee room at the base."

"You mean there isn't a coffee room?" Tundra shook his head sadly. "That sucks."

"Those two are amazingly dumb," Bailey muttered to himself, hiding his head in his hands.

"Yeah, tell me about it," someone said from behind him.

Bailey swiveled around and came face to face with a person who looked as if he had just stepped out of a shower, meaning he was completely naked except for a towel around his hips.

Bailey jerked backwards. "Get some clothes on before creeping up behind people!" he shrieked, quickly averting his eyes.

The commotion caught Tavvy and Tundra's attention.

"It's a weird guy!" Tavvy cried, pointing as if he were at a theme park attraction.

Tundra blinked. "Uh…who are you?"

The man in the towel suddenly flung off his towel. "Don't worry, people! I have underwear!"

Bailey fell over. The underwear in question was hot pink with bright orange bluebirds perched on purple pine trees (contradictive imagery). Tavvy squealed in pain, his eyes forever scarred. Tundra lifted his notepad, blocking all sight of the figure.

"Such obscene behavior!" yelled Greneland, who had hurried over to what all the fuss was about.

The man chuckled. "No one can defeat the might of my underwear!" he shouted proudly.

The vessel's captain, Dohoman, appeared from his cabin. As soon as he laid eyes on the unfamiliar man and his underwear, he stormed over and punched the man in the left cheek. "What are you doing here, Freed?" he demanded.

Underwear Man raised his hands in defeat, his cheek throbbing painfully. "I just wanted to see the new ship," he said. "But then you guys set sail and I couldn't get off."

Dohoman rubbed his eyes. He turned to Tundra. "What do you say, sir? Should we let Ensign Freed stay on board for the journey, or should we throw him overboard?"

"You're the captain of the ship! Why are you asking me, Dohoman?" Tundra replied, still shielding his eyes.

"That's Cap—I mean, yes sir! I'll have him thrown overboard immediately!" Dohoman signaled to two sailors standing near the central mast of the ship. "Get rid of him!"

"WAIT!" Freed cried in a shrill voice. "There are Sea Kings in this part of the ocean!"

Everyone ignored him. Each of the two sailors grasped one of the fear-stricken ensign's arms and marched him to the starboard side of the ship. Freed struggled, but a sailor's arms are very strong from manning ships all day, so he had little success. In a final act of desperation, he shouted, "Commodore Genesis sent me to sneak onto the ship because he doesn't trust any of you to keep his beloved Commodore Tundra safe! If I don't follow orders, I'll be killed by that creepy bastard!"

Tundra scratched the back of his head. "Who's Commodore Genesis?" After a few moments of consideration, he just shrugged. "Whatever, just throw him out. Besides, your creepy enough as it is, so I don't think it matters whether or not a creepy person kills you."

A loud splash signified the successful dumping of the ensign into the water.

"That was some super scary underwear," Tavvy commented. He blinked furiously, trying to dispel the vivid afterimage of Freed's underwear that seemed to be burned into the inside of his eyelids.

Dohoman coughed loudly. "Let's all forget about this…disturbing event! Everyone, please return to your normal duties! We will be arriving at our destination in approximately seven hours."

The rest of the trip went along smoothly. The shores of Ravioli Island were just visible after eight hours had passed.

"It took us a bit longer than expected," Dohoman explained to Greneland, who had complained loudly about the extra hour. "The wind suddenly changed directions, so we were blown slightly off course."

Greneland sniffed. "Amateurs!"

Dohoman ignored the comment and lit a cigar in the lieutenant's face. He grinned with satisfaction as Greneland gagged on the smoke and began to cough.

"Captain!" shouted one of the sailors, bursting onto the deck. "There's an emergency!"

"What's wrong?" Tavvy asked, genuinely concerned. "Did we run out of food?"

The sailor shook his head. "The radars are picking up something underneath us…something huge!"

"Like what?"

And then the gigantic, blue and pink head of a snarling Sea King rose out of the water right behind a certain forgetful Marine. Its wide-open jaws descended upon Tundra, who was still writing on his notepad, and snapped closed around him. Then, with a satisfied grunt, the Sea King disappeared back into the water.

Shocked silence. Then, "WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?"

"Ah," said Tavvy, raising his eyebrows in surprise. "That Tun-san lookalike just got eaten."

Bailey banged his head against the main mast. "WHY AREN'T YOU CONCERNED?"

Greneland looked completely freaked out. "Who cares about his wellbeing…WE NEED HIM FOR OUR MISSION!" he screamed. "The residents of Ravioli Castle are expecting a well-known commodore! This is royalty we are talking about!"

"Ah," Tavvy said again. "Aren't you royalty, Greenland?"

"It's Greneland!"

"Yeah, whatever. But you're a World Noble, right? Don't they go around with a stupid bubble around their heads?"

Greneland proudly puffed out his chest and forgot all about the current scenario. "I come from a family of World Nobles much great than the rest of those unqualified lineages. We don't need those air cleaners since the air around us is already purified by our very presence," he explained, straightening his tie as he did so.

"Yeah, sure," chorused everyone on board the ship. One sailor burst out laughing. Soon everyone was doubled over, except for Greneland, whose face had gone beet red.

"I am Prince Greneland of the Marvel Family of Rappelar! How dare you laugh at my heritage?"

Everyone kept laughing, possibly even harder.

"AHEM!"

The voice caused the laughter to stop abruptly. No one had realized the ship had already reached the shores of Ravioli Island. A short, stubby man with a monocle stood on the docks, holding a clipboard and pencil. He looked at them expectantly.

The sailors scrambled to lower the anchor and set the ramp. Once the ramp was in place, Dohoman marched down, followed by Greneland, Tavvy, and then Bailey.

"Hello, sir," grunted Dohoman in his rough, sailor voice. He saluted to the man with the monocle. "Captain Dohoman, at your service. I am delivering the Marines' representatives for the queen's grand ball."

The monocle man nodded and checked off something on the clipboard. "May I speak to the leader of the group? Commodore Tundra?"

After a few moments of unease, the captain spoke. "Uh…I don't think Mister Tundra can talk with anyone," was really all Dohoman could say, given the situation.

Tavvy seemed shocked. "Tun-san is here?"

"Yes! He was the guy who got eaten!" Bailey whispered.

"What? How come I never noticed?"

"Please don't ask me that question."

While Tavvy stood there in astonishment, Greneland stepped forward. "Oh, yes! Sadly, the commodore could not come. There was an emergency, you see. An escaped prisoner. A highly dangerous escaped prisoner."

The man with the monocle raised an eyebrow. "So the commodore will not be present at the ball?"

"I'm afraid not," replied Greneland, a cunning glint entering his eyes. "So I will be replacing him as the leader of this group."

Tavvy tried to protest, but Greneland slammed a hand over his mouth. Bailey tried to protest, but Greneland slammed his other hand over his mouth. Tundra tried to protest, but alas, he was inside of a Sea King, which was fortunate for Greneland since the he only had two hands.

The man with the monocle sighed. "And your name is?"

Greneland flashed a radiant smile before speaking. "Greneland. Marvel Greneland."

The jaw of the monocle man raised his other eyebrow. He glanced at his clipboard, then glared at Greneland. "Sir, I have no time for jokes."

Greneland pushed up his sleeve to his elbow, revealing a colorful tattoo of a red shield surrounded with dark green leaves. On the shield, a lion with black fur battled a warrior with golden armor. A bolt of blue lightning split the shield down the middle. On a strip of flowing red ribbon were the words: _CONDITOR NERO MARVEL_.

"There's your proof. My family's crest."

The monocle man removed his monocle and stared in disbelief at Greneland's arm. Then he hurriedly backed away. "I-I'm very sorry for ever questioning your heritage, your highness. Please accept my forgiveness," he said, bowing three times before bowing three more times and kneeling on the ground.

"It's quite alright," said Greneland with a smug smile. As he pulled down his sleeve, he glanced purposefully at Tavvy and Bailey. "As long as you remember it."

~at Queen Lasagna's grand ball~

"But I wanted to see the commodore!" whined a girl who looked like a younger version of the missing Princess Biscotti.

"Shh!" hissed a slightly older Biscotti clone. "They'll hear you!"

An even older Biscotti clone rolled her eyes behind a raised paper fan. "Oh, please. You two are acting so childish."

Tavvy shifted uncomfortably under the gaze of the fifty or so aristocrats of Ravioli Castle. Any face he saw seemed fake and unrealistic. They all looked as if they were wearing masks.

Bailey shivered. This was not his ideal place to be. He felt as though he were surrounded by dolls with stark white porcelain skin and perfectly cut hair. Their gazes seemed empty, lacking almost all emotion. The only thing that proved they were still human was the fact that they were drinking wine and eating itty-bitty appetizers.

"Hey, don't you feel like you're in a dollhouse or something?" Bailey muttered to his white-haired friend.

"No, but I feel hungry. Who can survive off just those tiny sandwiches?"

Bailey sighed. "Not you." He scanned the room and scowled. "Greneland seems to be enjoying himself," he mumbled.

The lieutenant, and also their current team leader, had been signing autographs and kissing ladies' hands from the very start of the ball. He was now engaged in a conversation with the king and queen.

"It is truly an honor to have you here, Prince Greneland," said Queen Lasagna, another doll-faced woman with an impossibly skinny waist.

"We are actually quite glad the commodore could not make it. He caused quite a ruckus the last time he visited," King Ravioli rumbled in a deep baritone voice that contrasted greatly with his appearance. His youthful doll face had a small mustache of two lines of heavily waxed hair, each corresponding to the length of his nostrils.

"I'm sure he did," Greneland said, nodding with sympathy.

Queen Lasagna took a small sip of her wine. "I speculate our dear Biscotti ran away from home. We never approved of it, but she fell in love with the commodore the moment she laid eyes on him. From that day onward, the only thing she could think about was marrying him."

"But the man was so rude!" exclaimed King Ravioli. "Feet on the table, unsophisticated speech, the list goes on and on. It still puzzles me how we managed to survive his stay."

"You are not the only ones," said Greneland reassuringly. "At the Marine base, his manners considerably worsen. What's more, he even stole the heart of the woman I loved. She now resents me for trying to win her back." He wiped away a (fake) tear.

The king and queen shook their heads in disappointment. They seemed to genuinely sympathize with Greneland's grief. "Horrible. Absolutely horrible."

Greneland sniffed and tried to compose himself, straightening his posture and blinking away a few more (fake) tears. "Well, I must move on with my life and not dwell in the past. Eventually, I will find a woman who will love me for who I am and not for my status and dazzling good looks."

Right on cue, the two youngest of the three Biscotti clones walked over, gently fanning themselves. They smiled beguilingly at Greneland, their teeth perfect in every single way. The smallest one wore a light pink dress set with hundreds of small rubies. She giggled and glanced at the second youngest clone, who had a twitchy eye. The eldest sniffed and stayed far away from Greneland, blocking his presence with her fan.

Queen Lasagna noticed the absence of the older daughter. "Cannoli, come greet our most esteemed guest," she called.

Princess Cannoli strode over elegantly and closed her fan with a sharp jerk of her hand. She looked at Greneland with disapproval. "I've seen better."

"Cannoli!" the king exclaimed, more fearful than anything else.

"Oh please, Father. Anyone who has seen that utterly handsome commodore would agree with me. Mother, it's too obvious you wish Father had the same gorgeous face."

"Cannoli!" King Ravioli repeated, his voice taking on a slight edge of anger.

"How can you be so rude?" the queen demanded. The hand that held her wine glass was shaking uncontrollably. She cast a quick glance towards Greneland, who bore no facial expression. She began to sweat, which was very un-doll-like.

Before Princess Cannoli could say something even more offending, everyone's attention turned to a commotion at the other side of the ballroom. And of course, the center of the ruckus was no other than Seaman Recruit Tavvy. The young Marine stood there, frozen, with a small glass of wine raised. It was empty. The person facing him, a tall woman with long, jet-black hair and a mole under her right eye, was drenched in a dark red liquid. It streaked down her face, removing the thick layers of makeup. Bailey also seemed frozen, standing a few paces behind Tavvy. This is what was going on in his mind: _Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit_, etc.

And then the woman screamed and ran out of the room, her face in her hands. Tavvy unfroze and glanced around. "Uh…it was an accident?" he said uncertainly. Receiving no feedback besides shocked stares, he waved his hands in front of him and chuckled nervously. "That didn't sound convincing, did it? Let me try again—"

Bailey landed a heavy hand on Tavvy's shoulder. He grinned to the still unmoving doll-faced nobles. "That's all for today, folks! Hope you enjoyed the show!" And then he hightailed out of there, pushing Tavvy through a set of double doors.

"Such horrible manners!" exclaimed the smallest Biscotti clone.

"What unrefined speech!" exclaimed the slightly older clone.

"Finally! Something interesting happened!" exclaimed Princess Cannoli, opening her fan again and waving it a few times. "Mother, Father, I am retiring to my room."

"No, you are not!"

"Yes I am!"

"As your father, I command you to stay here and apologize to Prince Greneland!"

"I refuse!"

The princess turned on her heel and stomped away angrily. King Ravioli made to follow, but the queen laid a hand on his arm and gently shook her head. She made a small indication towards Greneland's direction and understanding dawned in the king's eyes. He coughed quietly. "Our dear Cannoli is the rebellious type. I apologize for her ridiculous behavior," he said to Greneland.

Greneland forced a small smile. "It is fine. I've been compared to that idio—er, person far too many times to care anymore." He cast a quick glare in the direction of the departing princess.

The king and queen breathed silent sighs of relief. "Well, let us introduce our other daughters," said Queen Lasagna. "Our youngest is Pizzelle. She will be turning sixteen soon."

Princess Pizzelle curtsied. Greneland took her hand and planted a small kiss, causing the princess to blush under her makeup.

"Tiramisu is our second youngest at nineteen."

"And a half," the twitchy-eyed princess added, also accepting a kiss on the hand from Greneland.

"Cannoli is the oldest of the four. She turned twenty-seven just last week. And our runaway, Biscotti, is twenty-five." The queen took another sip of her wine. "I don't mean to be rude, but would you mind if I asked your age, Prince Greneland?"

"Thirty-three."

Both the queen and king took an unnoticeable step backwards and spluttered, trying to find the right words. "You jest! You…you look so…young!"

Greneland smiled smugly. "The trait runs in my family. My father, the current head of the house, looks to be about my current age, though he's almost twice as old," he explained. He waived over a tall butler and scooped up a dainty glass of Champaign with his index and middle fingers.

"How very intriguing."

At this point, the conversation entered a supremely boring phase of proper talk and no excitement whatsoever. Even Greneland grew tired of discussing about his wonderful self. But just when Greneland was about to excuse himself from the presence of the royal family, the double doors burst open and about two dozen people dressed completely in black streamed in, pointing weapons at the aristocrats and ordering them to line up by the punch bowl with their hands on their heads. Greneland found the end of a gun in his face and slowly backed up.

~meanwhile~

Tavvy reclined backwards and loosened his tie, breathing in the cool night air. He accepted a cup from Bailey and they both drank, greedily gulping down the warm mixture of milk and honey. They sat atop a grassy hill near Ravioli Castle. Fireflies danced around, blinking their lights in mysterious unison. A lone cricket chirped from somewhere to their right. Not a single cloud blocked the twinkling pinpoints of light above.

"This is so relaxing," Bailey remarked, gazing up at the stars. He let out a satisfied sigh and smiled widely.

"Yup. Can't get any better!" agreed Tavvy.

They clinked their cups together and laughed merrily.

* * *

><p>I hate this chapter. I really do hate it. Well, this was mainly introducing the royal family and building a bit on Greneland's character (he will become a frequently reoccurring supporting character). And don't worry about Tundra. He's a commodore; he won't be killed that easily... unless he's too busy drinking coffee or forgets to breathe and make his heart beat. But that's irrelevant.<p>

Next chapter: Sammy, Noelle, and Caprilla battle Redbeard and his gang! Will they find the Mari Gold? How will they get out before the volcano erupts? IS STEGGY REALLY THAT PRECIOUS?

This chapter was a week late because of my idiotic twin brother who thought it was wise to throw away my flashdrive. But my chapters are always late, so it doesn't really matter.


	21. CMG Arc: The Volcano

~Sammy~

"And that's why the chicken crossed the road!"

"Sammy."

"What?"

"Shut up."

Sammy frowned at Noelle. "But Steggy wants to hear a joke!"

"Steg—I mean, that figurine can't even hear! Now really isn't the time to be telling a joke to an inanimate object."

And then Redbeard burst into laughter, getting weird stares from his crewmembers. "That…was the best joke I've ever heard!" exclaimed the so-called pirate king. He slapped his leg and continued to laugh so hard that he had trouble breathing.

"Moron," Caprilla muttered.

"Idiot," seconded Noelle.

"Person with a great sense of humor!" Sammy shouted. He raised a fist in approval and smiled broadly. "I want you in my crew!"

"Moron."

"Idiot."

Redbeard continued to howl with laughter to the point where even Sammy had heard enough. A crewmember finally tapped the red-haired pirate on the shoulder. After several taps, Redbeard finally calmed enough to ask, "What?"

"Boss, we're getting weird stares."

Redbeard fought to keep the embarrassment from showing on his face, but he wasn't fooling anyone.

Sammy lowered his arm and quietly stowed Steggy away into his pocket. He pointed at Redbeard. "I know my jokes are funny, but that was just ridiculous. Never mind about joining my crew." He redirected his finger to point at Rummy, who was being carried like a sack of potatoes. The boy smiled back and waved. "Alright, Viking Dude! Hand over the guy who talks to his mommy!"

"His name is Rummy," said Caprilla.

"Yeah, yeah. Just hand over the guy who talks to his mommy!"

"His name is _Rummy_!"

"Well, that's a bit too complicated, alright? Just let me talk, Cheater Lady!"

Sammy found a fist in his face and flew backwards, crashing into a wall. Caprilla calmly blew away the (imaginary) smoke from her hand and pushed her glasses back up the bridge of her nose. "So what will it be, Red-Bastard? Die…or die?"

Redbeard snarled and hefted his axe onto his shoulder. "I remember you and the tall guy," he said, his knuckles turning white as he readied a clenched fist. "You're the two who wouldn't believe that I was the Pirate King!"

"Oh, shut up," Caprilla replied, disappearing in a blur. She reappeared behind Redbeard. "Your voice is annoying." She swung her arm forward, glinting claws emerging from her fingertips.

Redbeard reacted just in time. He positioned his captive between himself and the incoming danger. Caprilla lost her balance in order to keep herself from slicing Rummy across the face.

"You're all so weak against a hostage!" Redbeard said with a triumphant gleam in his eyes.

"**Kizuato: Level 2**." A sharp crack accompanied those words. Redbeard bit back a cry of pain as he felt his right kneecap shatter. He swung his axe at Sammy, but the teen had long anticipated the move and jumped back seconds beforehand.

"You little bastard! I'll kill you!"

Sammy laughed haughtily and set his hands on his hips. "I'd like to see you try!" Again, he raised his fist…and extended his middle finger.

Redbeard's face flushed with rage as he dropped Rummy in order to swing the axe with both hands. Unfortunately, he stepped forward with his right leg. A jolt of pain coursed through his body and his knee gave way. His axe clattered to the ground and he collapsed, gritting his teeth and clutching at his leg.

"Go get that guy who talks to his mommy, Cheater!" Sammy called out. He ducked in order to dodge a rock thrown at him by one of Redbeard's followers.

Caprilla scowled as she grabbed Rummy by the collar of his shirt. "Stop calling me that, you annoying brat!"

"But you're a cheater!"

"SHUT UP, YOU DUMBASS!"

Hoping to catch Caprilla off guard while she was yelling at Sammy, one of the Redbeard Pirates rushed at her with a dagger in hand. Caprilla just kicked him in the stomach and sent him tumbling backwards into his other companions.

Bored and with nothing else to do, Noelle decided to explore the chamber while the crazy people fought and argued. Walking around, she noticed the cavern was roughly hexagonal with a high ceiling that seemed to curve inwards at the center. A few yards away from the entrance where Redbeard and his gang had emerged, a group of extremely tall stalagmites jutted out of the ground, almost touching the roof of the cavern (like I care if any of this is geologically possible). Besides some rocks and pebbles, seemingly nothing else of significance was in the chamber.

"Mari Gold? Yeah, right," Noelle muttered to no one in particular.

Then she heard Sammy say, "Well that was quick. Just one more to go, then!"

Turning her attention back to the fighting people, she realized there was only one Redbeard Pirate left standing. He was fairly thin and had droopy eyes. He had ash-colored hair parted at the side that made him look fairly old.

"Surrender, you fake!" shouted Sammy. "And then tell all the people you know about me, Joker D. Sammy, the next Pirate King!"

The man didn't seem worried about his current predicament. "Joker? What a horrible joke," he said, his voice oddly loud for his small frame. He chuckled deeply, clearly amused by his own wit. "Just how far do you think you can get in piracy with the name of a Marine?"

Sammy blinked. "Huh?" Then he shook his head and stomped his foot. "Whatever! I'll be taking you down. How dare you take the title of Pirate King when you're all obviously a bunch of weak cowards?"

The man chuckled. "Well, we're not all weak," he said. He produced a lighter from the pocket of his trousers. "Let me demonstrate my Devil Fruit ability."

The Redbeard Pirate bent down, but froze when someone (aka Caprilla) gripped his throat in one, clawed hand. "No thanks. You're going down, _now_."

"But that goes against the rules of shounen manga! You're supposed to wait for everyone to explain their powers!"

"To hell with the rules of shounen manga! This is a fanfic! The author does what she wants!"

Noelle turned to the camera. "You know when authors are running out of ideas when they start talking about themselves in their stories."

"That was actually happening a long time ago," said Sammy, crossing his arms as he waited for the sudden lull in action to pass.

~with Boss and Noah~

"Ow…ow…ow…" Noah stopped to catch his breath. His side throbbed painfully with every step he took. It didn't help to have such a heavy burden on his shoulders. Literally.

"What, what? Why are you stopping, yeah?"

Noah cringed at the sound of Boss's voice. He seriously wondered if saving Boss had been the right thing to do. "Because you're too heavy! Honestly, Hammer. What do you eat?"

Before Boss could answer, the ground shuddered and Noah temporarily lost his balance. Like a seasoned circus performer, Noah managed to keep himself and Boss from toppling over by spreading his arms out on either side. After a few tantalizing moments, the trembling stopped and Noah was able to regain his balance.

"I must look ridiculous carrying around this caveman," Noah mumbled to himself.

"Hey, hey! What are muttering about, yeah?"

"Nothing!"

"But you were saying something, yeah? I heard you, yeah, yeah?"

Noah "accidentally" rammed Boss into the wall, causing his passenger to squeal in pain. Noah smiled in satisfaction. There was a limit to how civil one could be when dealing with a loud, handicapped caveman.

"Yo, yo! What was that for, yeah?"

"It was revenge for my ears," Noah replied. He continued down the corridor, which, if Noah remembered correctly, led to the underground living quarters. He really couldn't understand why the people down here called them 'houses'. They were just holes in the stone.

Boss kept trying to pick a fight with Noah. He failed ever time due to his unfavorable position atop Noah's shoulders. Quite frankly, Noah could have just dropped his passenger and gotten on with his life, but he was still a civil man and didn't believe in such irresponsible behavior, even with a caveman. Besides, he owed Caprilla at least as much as getting her brother to safety.

-=Flashback=-

Noah casually walks down a stone passageway, running his long, spindly fingers across the rough stone. His footsteps echo through the otherwise silent corridor. Even at a young age of thirteen, he needs to duck his head slightly so that he doesn't hit his head on the ceiling. He breathes in deeply, taking in the scent of minerals and dank confinement. Out of the corner of his eye, something catches his interest and he crouches to pick it up.

"Well, I can only guess what you found this time, Pie."

Noah turns and rises to glare at a girl with short, sandy-blond hair arranged in an I-don't-give-a-damn fashion.

"Yes, it's a rock. And stop calling me Pie."

The girl holds out a piece of candy. "Whatever." She shrugs when Noah refuses to take the candy and pops it into her own mouth. "I really don't get your fascination with rocks."

Noah rubs the small, blue-tinted pebble in his hand subconsciously. "What do you want, Caprilla?"

"Something you should know about," Caprilla answers.

"You mean rocks?"

"No, you idiot!" Caprilla growls, pounding furiously on Noah's curly-haired head. "You're so annoying!"

"And you're so brutal! Honestly, Caprilla!"

Caprilla almost retorts, but manages to calm herself. "Look, Pie—"

"Stop calling me that!"

"Whatever! The point is, I need your help to find an air vent."

Noah stares at Caprilla for a few moments, then bursts into laughter. "An air vent?" he exclaims incredulously. "Oh, don't do this to me, Caprilla! My stomach hurts already and I really can't breathe!"

Wearing a truly terrifying expression, Caprilla cracks her knuckles, then cocks her head from side to side, cracking her neck. Noah looks up just in time to see a fist zoom into his face. "IF YOU CAN'T BREATHE, THEN STOP TALKING!"

Noah detaches himself from the wall he had just been slammed into and coughs. He stands and shakes his head at his adversary. "Honestly, Caprilla. You're so brash…you're just like your little idiot caveman brother!" He wags his finger scornfully. "And trust me, being likened to that caveman is one of the worst insults to exist in this world."

Another powerful punch later, Noah finds himself leading a very-pissed-off-and-steaming-with-rage Caprilla through some of the least traversed tunnels of the underground city. He can feel her glare on the back of his head and doesn't dare to even glance backwards in fear of being punched again.

"We've been walking for an hour already," growls Caprilla, her voice carrying a large amount of irritation.

Noah dares to look back and receives a withering glare in return. He chuckles nervously. "I really have no idea where any air vents are, so I'm just walking around randomly to see if I can find one." He gulps when Caprilla scowls in annoyance. She jabs a finger into his face, squishing his nose.

"Don't lie to me, Pie. I know you know about the air vent. I heard you bragging about your 'amazing discovery' to Hammer and his pals."

"I made it up, okay?" Noah says dismissively. "Did you really think I could have found something like that? I only like rocks. I keep my eyes towards the ground. You should know that already."

Caprilla squishes Noah's nose even flatter into his face. "It's really annoying when you keep lying."

"I'm not lying!" Noah insists.

After a few moments, Caprilla removes her finger from Noah's nose and seems to give up. She turns and cups her hand around her mouth. "ALRIGHT, HAMMER! YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND DROP PIE'S ROCK COLLECTION INTO THE ABYSS!" she hollers at the top off her lungs.

"NOOOO!" Noah screams, falling to his knees at Caprilla's feet. "W-wait! It's half an hour's walk from this bend. Just turn right when you reach the large cluster of stalactites. Now tell him to stop!"

Caprilla tries to look at him coldly, but just can't hold back a broad smile. "You actually believed that? I mean, you probably hid your rock collection in a place no one has ever even heard of. Whoever finds it deserves a trophy or something."

Noah's cheeks flush. "You tricked me!"

Caprilla shrugs. "Obviously." She walks past the fuming Noah and follows his reluctantly given directions to the air vent. To her surprise, Noah continues to accompany her, shuffling just a few steps behind. The two turn right at the stalactites Noah mentioned. All of a sudden, a crisp draft of air brushes Caprilla's skin, soon mixing with the rank, underground air. Caprilla looks up and sees a small piece of blue sky.

"Happy now?" Noah asks sulkily. He has his arms crossed across his chest and glares at Caprilla as she continues to stare up at what little of the sky she can see.

"No," is Caprilla's simple reply. She walks beneath the air vent's opening and scours the rock walls with her hands. Finding a foothold, she begins to climb upwards.

Noah chokes on his own breath. "Are you _insane_?" he shouts. "It'll take forever to climb all the way up there! Why do you even want to go up to the surface?"

Caprilla ignores her tall companion and continues to pull herself up the wall. The wall is naturally formed and has many outcrops, but more than enough are insecure. As the third unreliable protrusion crumbles underneath her grasp, Caprilla loses her balance for a few tantalizing seconds. Her eyes glance downwards and what she sees almost makes her loose her grip entirely. "Pie? What the hell are you following me for?"

Noah, sweat beading his forehead, grunts with effort as he hoists himself into a more comfortable position. "Let's see…your parents will kill me if they find out I led you to a remote tunnel where you died an unfortunate death from falling off the interior wall of an air vent. At least if I climb with you, we'll both die if anything goes wrong and I won't be alive to receive any blame from our underground society."

At a loss for words, Caprilla just presses onwards, slightly unnerved with the fact that if she were to fall, she would inevitably take Noah, who was directly under her, with her to the grave. Neither of them knows how much time passes by as they steadily draw nearer to darkening patch of blue. After a countless number of slips and near-death experiences, Caprilla's hand reaches the rim of the air vent. Muscles screaming in agony, she clambers out into the cool night air. She lays there on the moist soil, panting heavily. Then she realizes something.

"Pie!" she yells down the stone chute. The air vent looks like a dark, gaping hole in the terrain. She can't see anything within its depths.

It is quite a while before she receives an answer. "So you…made it," gasps Noah's voice. The fatigue in his voice catches Caprilla off guard. He had lost the annoying clicking rhythm of his speech and doesn't even bother to make some smart remark concerning the idiocy of the current situation.

"Are you stuck somewhere?"

Again, several moments pass before Noah answers. "I'm just…too tired to…to keep going."

"Okay. Too bad for you." Caprilla begins to walk away.

Realizing Caprilla actually was about to leave him there alone, Noah panics. "C-C-Caprilla! Don't just leave me here!"

"Why not?"

"Because I'm…uh…your friend?"

Caprilla considers this for a moment. She had never seen Noah as a friend before. He had always been that annoying kid who acted as if he was superior to the others. Not the likable type. But then again, Caprilla wasn't very fond of anyone.

"Caprilla? Are you still there?"

Caprilla lets out a reluctant sigh. She rises to her feet and surveys her surroundings. A jungle. She had heard about these in the old tales passed down from generation to generation. Jungles were filled with horrible, man-eating creatures. They were just another reason to live in the safety of the underground. Caprilla yanks on a thick, green tendril hanging from a branch of a tall, wooden pillar covered with many similar branches. The green rope separates from the wooden pillar with a few more tugs. It is fairly long, though Caprilla does not know how far down Noah had stopped.

She ties one end of the green rope to a wooden pillar near the opening of the air vent. Then she tosses the rest of it down the chute. "Can you feel where the rope is?"

Noah, who had practically given up on being rescued, almost bursts into tears upon hearing the familiar voice. "Yes! It's right next to my left arm."

"Good. Grab onto it and I'll pull you up."

"I can't grab onto it! My arms are barely attached to the rest of my body as it is!"

"Then tie it around your waist or something!"

"I can't!"

Caprilla growls in frustration. "Well, what _can_ you do?"

No answer.

Caprilla sighs again. She draws back the green rope and ties it securely around her own waist. After testing it to make sure it won't break, she lowers herself back into the chute, slowly feeding out the rope as she descends. Soon, she reaches where Noah still clings desperately to the wall. She finds sturdy footholds, then unties the rope and reties it around Noah. Caprilla again climbs to the opening.

"I'm pulling you up," she calls.

"Right," Noah replies in acknowledgment.

Caprilla curses Noah for being so tall. It made him heavier, which made her muscles unhappier. But eventually, Noah's curly-haired head emerges from the dark recesses. He stands, inhaling the sweet air, and hugs Caprilla.

"Let go of me," Caprilla hisses, rigid as a plank.

Noah quickly backs away and spreads his arms. "I didn't mean it! I just needed to hug something and you were the closest thing. Trust me, the last thing I want to do is hug you." That statement earns him the third punch in the face of the day.

Caprilla sits down at the base of a wooden pillar and closes her eyes, forcing herself to ignore Noah's presence. Unfortunately, Noah doesn't plan on letting that happen.

"Alright, we've made it up here, so aren't we going back? They'll be worried if we don't show up."

"Your voice is so annoying!" Caprilla groans, hiding her face in her hands. She holds up a hand in Noah's general direction, raising a finger. "One, nobody will be worried about you, they'll only look for me." She raises another finger. "Two, I have no intention of going back down to that dull and boring underground place." She raises a third finger. "Three…your voice is annoying!"

"WE'RE NOT GOING BACK?" shrieks Noah. He looks around frantically. "B-but how are we supposed to survive? We need food a-and water! And what if some carnivorous beast comes and attacks us? A-and what if—"

"Oh, just shut up!" Caprilla stands and grabs some small sheets of rubbery green paper from the branches of the wooden pillar and stuffs them into Noah's mouth.

Noah tries to talk through the green paper, making wild gestures with his arms. Caprilla finds this much better than hearing his actual voice. Her peace doesn't last. Noah spits out the green paper and glares with spiteful eyes. "Well now what are we going to do?" he asks.

After punching Noah in the face yet again, Caprilla grins. "I don't know about you, but I'm going to go treasure hunting."

"Treasure hunting?" Noah exclaims incredulously. "Why would you want to hunt for treasure?"

"You're the one who's always talking about it," said Caprilla, sitting back down. "Heaps of gold and gems, dodging traps, discovering ancient civilizations. Sounds fun, doesn't it?"

Noah groans and collapses onto the ground. "I'm so stupid. So, so, so, so stupid."

-=12 years later=-

"Been a long time," Noah comments as he tinkers with a golden pocket watch. "Say, Caprilla. Do you think they still remember us?"

Caprilla shrugs. "No one even wants to remember you, Noah. They'll only remember me."

Noah raises an eyebrow, crossing his arms at the same time. "I'll bet my entire rock collection that they don't remember either of us."

"Why would I want your rock collection? Throw in your share of last week's earnings and we'll call it a deal."

"Wait, all of it?"

"Of course."

"Absolutely not!"

"Then no deal."

"Fine! Be that way!"

On the deck of a large sailboat grounded upon an earthy shore, the two sit back-to-back on their respective barrels, both with a scowl on their face.

"You're annoying."

"You're impossible!"

"You're a pain!"

"You're…" Noah trails off as he spotted something out at sea. "Uh, Caprilla?" He points at an approaching ship. Unfortunately, Caprilla doesn't see where he is pointing since she has her back against his.

"Of course I'm Caprilla!" Caprilla snaps, slightly dumbfounded at her companion's lack of creativity.

"No!" shouts a frustrated Noah. "I mean, you are Caprilla, but there's a ship coming towards us."

Caprilla turns and frowns at the elaborately painted barge nearing the jungle-infested island. The figurehead is of an obese mermaid wearing a Viking helmet. "What kind of a figurehead is that? It is supremely ugly and completely inappropriate for a story rated T."

Noah sighs. "Even flashbacks aren't safe from the author's horrible humor."

"Whatever. It's just a ship." Caprilla hops onto land and puts on a pair of glasses. She places her hands on her hips as she waits for Noah to join her. "Come on. We're going."

As the ship draws nearer, Noah becomes a bit uneasy. "That ship seems familiar…" he murmurs quietly. Then, shrugging away his uncertainties, he disembarks and shakes his head disapprovingly at Caprilla. "Honestly, Caprilla! You don't even need glasses!"

"Shut up and I won't punch you."

Noah exhales loudly. "No matter how many times you punch me in the face, it still won't change the fact that you don't need glasses!"

And so, unsurprisingly, Caprilla punches Noah in the face. The victim hurtles through the air and lands butt-first on a thorn bush. Paralyzed with pain, Noah can only croak out a feeble, "Ow," as Caprilla walks by calmly and searches for the air vent from nine years ago.

"Strange. Noah, do you remember seeing that cave there before?" asks Caprilla. Noah gently removes himself from the bush and joins Caprilla's side. They stand before the mouth of a strange cave with a stone door in the back. Beside it, a torch burns with a steady, red flame.

"It's been twelve years," says Noah with a shrug. "Someone could have easily built this place in that amount of time."

Caprilla yanks on the handle of the door and it swings open smoothly. She steps into a metal room with a crank on the side.

Noah whistles quietly. "An elevator. This would have been handy twelve years ago." Ignoring Noah, Caprilla turns the crank and the elevator sinks a few feet. As she begins to turn it continuously, Noah realizes he is about to be left behind and quickly scrambles in. "H-hey! Wait for me!"

After a short while, Caprilla gets tired and commands Noah to work the elevator. Soon, with Noah straining to crank at satisfying pace for Caprilla, they arrive at the bottom. Caprilla slides open a set of doors and exits, followed by an exhausted Noah who had been repeatedly bashed over the head for being 'annoying'. They stop in front of a rope hanging down from a hole in the rocky ceiling. Without any regard to the consequences, Caprilla yanks on it with all her might as Noah begins to say, "Wait! It might be a—"

A bell rings and a dozen or so people run out from some tunnels and surround the two. Noah yelps and reaches for the saber at his side.

And then they all kneel with their heads bowed. "WE'RE SORRY TO KEEP YOU WAITING, PIRATE KING REDBEARD!" the people shout in unison. "WE HAVE PREPARED THE OFFERING, JUST AS YOU ASKED!"

After a few moments of silence, Caprilla kicks one of the people. "And might I ask what the hell you are doing, Hammer?"

Boss looks up in terror, then in shock. "S-Sis?" Then, he jumps up, tears in his eyes. "SIS! You're alive, yeah? You're really alive, yeah?" He hugs Caprilla tightly, effectively cutting off her breathing. Caprilla struggles, but finally manages to separate herself from her sniveling younger brother.

The other people slowly rise to their feet. They murmur amongst each other. "It's Caprilla" "She's alive" "Is that Pie, the orphan?" "They're both grown up."

"Shut up, you cave dwellers!" shouts Caprilla. Everyone immediately falls silent. She turns her attention to Boss. "What's going on here?"

"Oh, it's awful, Sis, yeah?" he sobs. "One day he came down the air vent and demanded us to mine for precious gems, yeah? Said some curly-haired guy told them all about it, yeah? He comes down here every month to collect the gems, yeah? If anyone refuses, he'll kill them, yeah, yeah?"

"Who is doing all this? And stop saying yeah so much. It's annoying!"

"The Pirate King, Redbeard, yeah? He's the Pirate King, yeah? We have to do what he says, yeah?"

Caprilla glances at Noah, who just rolls his eyes. "There is no Pirate King!" he scoffs. "The last one was executed almost three decades ago!"

"Be quiet, Pie!" growls a Mari City resident.

"What do you know?"

"You're just a spoiled child and always will be! We worked hard to feed you, ya know!"

Noah pulls out his saber. A person who was about to speak closes his mouth hurriedly. "I'm not lying! Tell them, Caprilla."

But Caprilla doesn't say anything. Instead, she turns and walks back towards the elevator.

"W-where are you going, Sis, yeah?" asks Boss timidly.

Without looking back, Caprilla answers. "To talk to that Red-Bastard."

Noah sheathes his sword and rushes to catch up. "How do you even know he's here?"

Caprilla sighs in exasperation just as the elevator doors open.

-=Present=-

The unconscious Redbeard Pirates grunted in their unconsciousness. Noelle pitied them. She really did, since the two people who had beaten them up were still shouting their heads off.

"You're annoying me, you annoying brat!"

"Oh yeah? Well you cheated, you cheater lady!"

"Just shut up!"

"You're being mean!"

And then there was the creepy kid who kept talking to his invisible mother.

"Mommy, are all pirates this loud? I wonder…"

But worst of all, the volcano continued to growl in the background. No one else seemed to notice, but small chunks of rubble were falling from the cavern ceiling. A small piece landed on Noelle's head, the impact jarring her skull. Miraculously, no one else seemed to be hit by the stones.

"Hello? I don't know if you've realized, but there's a volcano that's about to explode at any minute," Noelle reminded the rest of the group.

Her words jolted all three back to reality.

"OH SHIT! I'M STUCK DOWN HERE AND THERE'S A VOLCANO THAT'S ABOUT TO EXPLODE AT ANY MINUTE!" yelled Sammy, yanking on his hair with both hands.

Even Caprilla looked a bit worried. "Well, looks like we're in a bit of a situation." She pointed to Sammy. "Hey, annoying kid! Quit freaking out already. You're really annoying me."

"So? You're mean!"

And then Redbeard woke up. "ARGH! I'll get you two! How dare you oppose me, the Pirate King?" Redbeard roared, jumping up from the ground.

Both Sammy and Caprilla just looked at him as if he was crazy. Sammy set his hands on his hips and frowned. Caprilla looked annoyed. The both of them made Redbeard grow even angrier until his face matched the color of his beard. He was so red that Rummy began to stare in a fascinated manner at the pirate's face.

"Wow. Mommy, is it natural for a person's face to be that red?"

Redbeard's face turned a completely undiscovered shade of vivid red. "You. Little. BRAT!"

"Uh oh," Rummy murmured as Redbeard began to chase/limp after him around the cavern. Rummy as terrified as Redbeard was enraged and ran as fast as his skinny legs could carry him. Unfortunately, his speed far surpassed Redbeard's jerking gait and the boy soon found that he was the one chasing Redbeard around in circles. But he soon tired and slowed. Realizing this, Redbeard increased his pace until he came around and become the chaser again. A terrified Rummy had no choice but to run faster and soon caught up with Redbeard. Again and again, the cycle repeated, neither one of the two able to keep their position for long. The other three conscious occupants of the chamber could not bring themselves to interfere with this strange spectacle.

"This is kinda cruel," Sammy pointed out. "Someone should stop them before they hurt each other."

"They'll collapse from exhaustion before that happens," said Noelle.

Caprilla stared as if she had seen the same scene before and couldn't believe it was happening again.

-=Flashback (again)=-

"Hey! Are you retarded, lady? Bow down or be killed!" sneers a heavyset man wearing a jewel-studded eye patch. His mustache merges seamlessly into his long, braided beard. He holds a cattle prod in his right hand. Behind him, Redbeard stands proudly, swinging his axe near his feet. Atop his head sits his Viking helmet, its gleam combining with the sparkle of Redbeard's balding head to create an effective flashlight.

Caprilla studies the two newcomers with doubtful eyes. "Why the hell would I bow down to a one-eyed cattle herder and a balding Viking?" Her words elicit a collection of sharp inhalations from the Mari City citizens, Redbeard and the eye patch man, and Noah.

Redbeard lifts his axe and smashes its blunt end into the wall behind him. The action creates a shallow hole in the rock. "I think you need to address your superiors with more respect!" he growls menacingly.

Unimpressed, Caprilla walks over to a wall and casually punches it. Jaws drop as she removes her fist from a crater the size of two large serving platters put side by side. "That could have been your head."

The eye patch man and Redbeard stumble backwards, almost re-entering the elevator. Boss and the other people of the Mari City gape like retarded goldfish.

"I get punched by that fist all the time," Noah mutters under his breath. "That's nothing."

"Let me get this straight," says Caprilla, shaking the dust off her hand. "You were told about some underground city and decided to explore. You met a whole bunch of cave dwellers and decided to take advantage of their ignorance of the aboveground world, posing as the Pirate King. Now you're filthy rich and customized your figurehead into an obese mermaid wearing a Viking helmet. And to think this story is still rated T."

Redbeard narrows his eyes and tightens the grip on his battleaxe. "I'm the Pirate King! If you don't believe it, I'll have to make you believe it!"

Caprilla raises her eyebrows. "And how are you going to do that?"

Redbeard throws his axe. It sails past Caprilla, Noah, Boss and slams into some random Mari City resident. The poor guy yelps and falls back on his rear end. The eye patch man rushes forward and grabs the unfortunate person by the collar. "Don't move! If you do, he gets it!" With those words, he flourishes his cattle prod in a threatening manner. The nearby people back away hastily, glad that they were not chosen to be the hostage.

Redbeard laughs deeply. "What are you going to do now?" he asks Caprilla.

"Pulverize you. Seriously, your voice is too loud and it's getting really annoying," says Caprilla, cracking her knuckles.

"Don't you care about what happens to that guy?" Redbeard shouts, pointing at his hostage.

Caprilla shrugs. "No, not really."

"Caprilla!" Noah stares at her, mortified. "Letting people die like that is extremely unethical!"

"So?"

Noah draws his saber again. "Honestly, Caprilla. You've gotten so ruthless these past few years." He points it at Caprilla.

"It's been a while since I completely beat you up," Caprilla says, deliberately grinning to expose elongated canines. Her fingers turn into claws and spotted fur sprouts from her skin. "I might accidentally kill you this time, though."

Noah gives a wry smile. "Try."

Redbeard and the other people present can only watch with an is-this-really-the-best-time-for-this attitude as they clash. The sound of steel against claws rings through the corridor. Caprilla leaps backwards from the collision and pounces up into the air, landing directly behind Noah. She slashes, but is blocked by Noah's second sword, which the curly-haired man had just unsheathed. Noah whips around and attempts to strike at Caprilla's head, but Caprilla dodges easily and counterattacks with a kick in the gut.

The fight would have continued for quite some time if not for the small child who had just stumbled into the middle of the scuffle. Caprilla barely manages to redirect her punch into thin air, toppling over and head butting Noah in the head.

"Fighting isn't good, is it, Mommy?" the child murmurs, a sad look in his eyes. His straw-blond hair glitters like gold in the dim light illuminating the stone hallway. "Oh! Some cool rocks are over there."

Taking advantage of the distraction, the eye patch man takes another hostage. "Everyone, FREEZE!" he commands. "Any more riffraff and both these guys lose their lives!"

Noah clasps a hand over Caprilla's mouth before she can say anything. Of course, this greatly annoys Caprilla and she immediately grasps his wrist in an iron-like grip. "What was that for?" she hisses icily.

"Don't say or do anything violent," Noah says in a low voice. "Please, Caprilla. Let's do things my way for once! I'll let you punch me all you want afterwards, alright?"

"Are you _bribing_ me?" Caprilla exclaims incredulously.

Noah hesitates. "Umm…yes?"

"Well, it's working." Caprilla crosses her arms reluctantly, fully turning back into a human. "Fine. Do what you want."

Relieved, Noah turns towards the eye patch man and sheathes both his sabers. He spreads his arms out in a non-threatening manner. "Let's talk this through in a civil manner," he says with a pleasant smile. "We really don't mean any harm."

"She punched a huge hole in the wall," said the eye patch man, gesturing at Caprilla, who smiles smugly.

"She likes to show off," Noah replies, causing Caprilla to glare venomously at the back of his head. She almost punches him, but then remembers her deal. "Now, if you'd release those poor men, we'll go on with our business and you can go on with yours. Doesn't that sound like a good idea?"

The eye patch man glances at Redbeard. "Uh, what do you say, Boss? I mean, you got really pissed."

Redbeard doesn't answer. Instead, he rushes at Caprilla holding a gun aimed at her head. He roars in fury as his finger pulls the trigger three times in rapid succession.

Caught completely off guard, Caprilla barely has time to react. She swerves to the side, her glasses falling off her face as she does so, and swipes downwards with her clawed right hand, causing the bullets to clatter onto the ground. She flips and kicks Redbeard in the chest with both feet. The large man is lifted off the ground and carried back a yard or so before crashing back down, out cold. Caprilla gives him one more kick in the head for good measure and spits on his face.

At the same time, Noah, abandoning his 'civilized' plan, attempts to disarm the eye patch man. He runs out of luck before managing to complete the task, tripping on a random pebble. His knees injured, Noah runs from the eye patch man, who begins to chase him around in circles. But the eye patch man's build is clearly not for running and he tires easily, allowing the gap between him and Noah widen until Noah comes around to become the pursuer. The rest is history.

Caprilla watches with growing irritation as the two relentlessly chase each other around in circles. She walks over and punches the eye patch man in the face, knocking him unconscious and halting the pathetic chase between him and Noah. But Noah's momentum doesn't stop and he slams into Caprilla's outstretched arm. The impact knocks all the air from his lungs and he tumbles to the ground, gasping for breath.

After recovering for quite some time, Noah rises. "What was that for?" he asks, gingerly rubbing his upper abdomen where Caprilla's fist had hit him.

"I didn't do anything. You're the one that ran into me."

"That—" begins Noah. He pauses for a moment to consider. "Well, that's true, but you shouldn't be sticking out your arm in front of a running person! That person could get seriously injured, especially taking into account your ridiculous strength. Honestly, think about the consequences, Caprilla."

"To hell with the consequences!" Caprilla mutters under her breath. Noticing something by her feet, she bends down and lifts Rummy off the ground by his collar. "So, Hammer. What's up with this little guy?"

"His parents died in a mining explosion, yeah?" Boss explains. He looks down, refusing to meet Caprilla's gaze. "Mom and Dad also died in that explosion, yeah?"

Caprilla reacts with a shrug. "They had it coming."

Boss's eyebrows shoot up in surprise at Caprilla's indifferent response. He blinks a few times, then turns to glower at Noah.

Rummy smiles dreamily at Caprilla. He claps two stones together to make a tapping noise while dangling from her grip. Caprilla, not amused by Rummy's odd form of entertainment, violently shakes the child (causing great protest from both Noah and Boss). To Caprilla's great dismay, the boy seems to enjoy it and gleefully shouts out, "Do it again! That was fun!"

"I should just drop you into a hole and forget about you," Caprilla mutters.

Rummy looks her straight in the eye and waves his hands around dramatically. "No, you wouldn't do that! You'll just turn into a big bad monster and eat me alive!" He giggles uncontrollably.

Caprilla drops Rummy with a simple unclenching of her hand. "You've got some nerve—"

"I AM REDBEARD! HOW DARE YOU MESS WITH ME?"

Noah sighs a sigh of exhaustion. "I can't comprehend how this person decides his timing."

Rummy, still giggling, takes Caprilla's hand. "Mommy wants me to show you something!" he says, dragging her down a tunnel.

Caprilla has no choice but to follow, since the straw-haired boy's grip is surprisingly strong. He leads her through a labyrinth of stone hallways with incredible precision, not hesitating at any split or turn. All the while, Redbeard storms after them, brandishing his battleaxe with one hand and holding his gun in the other. And behind Redbeard is Noah, who just couldn't let Caprilla go running off with a little kid and an angry Viking hot on their trail.

At last, they arrive at a large, empty chamber. Rummy lets go of Caprilla's hand and scuttles over to a group of tall stalagmites.

Caprilla crosses her arms, bewildered by the child's strange behavior. "Now what are you doing?"

Rummy crawls to the center of the cluster. His figure disappears behind a particularly fat stalagmite. Moments later, Redbeard barges into the cavern, panting heavily. He musters up the strength to lift his gun and directs it towards Caprilla. His chance to pull the trigger is robbed by Noah, who tackles him to the ground. Redbeard loses his grip on the gun and it skids across the ground to rest at Caprilla's feet.

"Don't get in my way!" Redbeard shouts, hopping to his feet and striking Noah in the face.

"Nice try," says Noah, unfazed by the blow, "but that was probably the weakest punch I've ever received in my entire life."

Redbeard slashes at Noah with his axe. As the blade nears, Noah trips on another pebble, resulting in an accidental dodge. He lurches forward and forces Redbeard to the ground once more.

Rummy emerges from the stalagmites and holds something out to Caprilla. "Look! It's pretty, isn't it?" In his hands is a small marigold seemingly made of pure gold. "Mommy wanted me to show it to you because she says it isn't your fault that you're a big meanie face, but you should still calm down and think things through before doing something reckless like shooting at an angry Viking while he's wrestling with your friend."

Caprilla, who had been about to shoot at an angry Viking while he wrestled with Noah, lowers the gun and glares suspiciously at Rummy, who gives an absentminded smile. "What does a golden flower have to do with that?" she asks.

Rummy's smile persists. After a while, he answers, "I don't know. Mommy won't tell me."

Caprilla rolls her eyes. "Will your mommy tell you the winning lottery numbers?" she says, her voice laced with sarcasm.

"No."

"That was a rhetorical question."

"Mommy won't tell me what rhetorical means."

Caprilla finds herself smiling at the boy's confusion. She quickly changes it into a scowl of irritation. "So you dragged me all the way here to show me a flower made of gold? Be glad I don't have other things to do."

"GOLD?" Redbeard had Noah pinned to the ground with his knee. Being thin and light, Noah hadn't stood a chance against the big and burly Redbeard. The red-haired pirate's eyes lock onto the glittering flower in Rummy's hands and he advances menacingly towards the boy.

Rummy lets out a little squeak before dashing away to hide the golden marigold among the stalagmites. Redbeard lunges, but Caprilla bars his path. Unable to avoid the inevitable, Redbeard can only brace himself as Caprilla's fist slams into the side of his head for another one-hit KO.

"Wow. Caprilla protected me!" Rummy exclaims, trotting to Caprilla's side. "See, Mommy. Caprilla isn't so bad."

Caprilla shuffles away from the sandy-haired boy. "I didn't do it for you. The guy was just annoying me," she replies icily.

Rummy just smiles his dreamy smile and asks for a piggyback ride.

Later on, Caprilla stands in the elevator, tapping her foot impatiently. Noah cranks the metal box upwards, sweating profusely because of the extra weight taking the form of Redbeard and the eye patch man. Both had been bound tightly in vines.

Once they reach the surface, Caprilla drags the two to the beaches. She spots their ship anchored a fair distance from shore, the figurehead still as ugly as ever. With almost no effort at all, she lifts Redbeard and hurls him at his ship. His screams are cut off as he smashes into the obese mermaid wearing a Viking helmet. The eye patch man soon follows. His collision results in the snapping of the main mast. Satisfied, Caprilla turns her back to the scene and wonders why she agreed to give Rummy his piggyback ride.

-=Present=-

"Hammer, how would a little kid be able to use this thing?"

"I don't know, I don't know. He's special, yeah?"

Noah gulped. Behind him, all the Mari City residents were gathered, persuaded by Boss to evacuate. Boss himself had been persuaded by a large rock falling on his head (which is totally the new craze nowadays).

Noah had racked his brain dry of every single method he could use to transport everyone to the surface in time. The elevator was too slow and the stairs were certainly out of the question. And then Boss had told him of a secret passageway that Rummy often used to travel to the old house aboveground. It was extremely dangerous and Noah would have completely rejected the idea if not for the urgency of the situation.

The route used the hot air expelled from three lava pillars. Within each of the hollow rock columns, sturdy cloth had been bound to a metal frame to catch the rising hot air. They were attached to a single steel platform with tall railings topped off with an extremely thick rubber roof. Secured to the bottom of the main platform with thick steel rods was a wider plane of metal spanning about twenty feet in diameter.

The odd contraption was simple to operate. At rest, the vessel sat on the ground and the kites would be positioned so that they would be unable to catch the air. If one wished to go up, he would need to flip the frames so that the cloth could fill with air, which would carry him all the way up to the surface where a room had been set up to stop the carrier from rocketing into space. The frames locked in place by means of a metal rod extending down to snap into a circular dent in the platform. The problem was in these rods.

"Those things are so rusty," Noah exclaimed, examining the metal with unease. "What are we going to do if they snap?"

"Then we crash, yeah?"

"Thank you for stating the obvious. You're a genius caveman, Hammer. A genius caveman!"

Boss puffed out his chest with pride. "Yeah!"

Noah only stared at him dismally. Apparently, cavemen couldn't gauge the danger of hazardous situations.

"Okay, okay! Everyone get on this thing, yeah?" Boss called out, gesturing to the device behind him.

No one moved.

"What's the problem, yeah? The whole place is going to collapse, yeah?"

Someone raised her hand and spoke. "But isn't the surface scary?"

Another person also spoke up. "How will we live up there with so many dangers?"

"If we're going to die up there eventually, I'd rather stay down here and die in my home!"

"I agree!"

"Me too!"

Soon, the tunnels echoed with protest. Noah sighed exasperatedly and ran a hand through his head of curls. "Well, Hammer? Ideas?"

"Yeah," said Boss, clenching his fists with determination. After a brief hesitation, he took in a deep breath and shouted, "SHUT UP YOU CAVE DWELLERS!"

Immediate and utterly shocked silence.

Boss pointed upwards. "The world above us is dangerous! We all know that!" Then he waved his hand across the crowd before resting his palm on his own chest. He moved through the throng of people, looking squarely into their eyes. "But we can do something about that. We just need to get stronger! We can't do anything if we stay down here. We can't stop the volcano from erupting…but we _can_ save ourselves from death! The stupid magpie could survive up there. If he could do it, then so can the rest of us…YEAH?"

"YEAH!" roared the crowd, caught up in Boss's enthusiasm. They cheered as their leader walked back to the vehicle that would take them to the surface.

Noah raised an eyebrow. "Was it really necessary to exaggerate about my survival?"

"No, I didn't have to put that in, yeah?" Boss reasoned. "But everybody already knows you could only do it with Sis's help, so I thought I'd make you sound a little better, yeah?"

"That's not what I was talking about!" Noah snapped.

Boss ignored the comment and stepped into the metal contraption. He hoisted himself to the upper platform where the metal frames were connected to the body of the machine. Noah joined him along with a random guy from Boss's gang. The bottom platform soon filled with people packed closely together.

"Shoot, shoot!" growled Boss. "There's not enough room, yeah?"

Only a little more than half of the Mari City residents could fit on the platform. The rest cast worried glances at the bits of rubble dropping constantly from the ceiling.

Noah bit his lip. "We need to make two trips," he said, wringing his hands nervously. "But how do you get back down?"

"Fall, yeah?"

"Oh, shut up."

Boss leaned out and called to the people who hadn't been able to board. "We're going to take two trips, yeah? Just sit tight and we'll be right back to pick you up, yeah?" He signaled to some of his men, who nodded and began to walk around, reassuring people.

Noah flipped his kite and locked it in place, Boss and the other man following suit. There was no time to prepare as the vehicle shot upwards at an alarming speed. Boss screamed. So did Noah. In fact, everyone riding the high-speed elevator screamed. It was not a smooth ride. Then, almost as soon as it had begun, it stopped with a big SMACK! There were some moments of sheer terror as the rubber roof collided with a concrete ceiling, then everything settled down.

"It's a good thing I haven't eaten since yesterday," Noah murmured, patting his stomach, "or else I'd have lost all of it anyways."

Boss wasn't so lucky. He hurled.

Noah yelped and shuffled away from the putrid mess, pinching his nose. "Dat's dizguzting." He backed into the railing and flipped over, his head colliding with the metal before the rest of his body smacked onto solid cement. He tried to rise, but hit his head on the railing again, causing it to smash back down onto the concrete.

Boss, fully recovered from his nausea, jumped down and conveniently landed right on top of Noah. The curly-haired man howled and threw Boss off of himself, hitting his head on the railing yet again and causing it to smash back down onto the concrete…_again_.

Dazed with pain, Noah, using extreme caution, managed to get to his feet. He looked around and his eyes widened with fascination. He stood upon a concrete stage elevated by two thick columns of stone. A flight of stairs led down to a floor level with the bottom platform of the air-riding vehicle. Another flight of stairs across from the docking place led up to a trapdoor. Noah made his way to the trapdoor and flung it open to reveal the wreckage of an old house. He could see the skies clearly.

"What's that blue stuff?" a child asked her mother, pointing towards the trapdoor.

The mother hesitated. "I think it is something called…the sky."

Boss and his men ushered the people through the door. There were gasps of amazement as the former Mari City residents emerged from the underground.

"Why is the house all smashed up?" Noah wondered aloud, kicking at some loose debris. "It couldn't have been that dino-loving kid, could it?" He accidentally stepped on a plank of wood and it flipped up and smacked him in the face. Noah didn't even want to know how many splinters he would need to remove later.

"Yo, yo! We need to go back for the others, yeah?" Boss said, clambering back to the transportation machine.

Noah boarded and kicked the metal rod out of place, allowing the kite to swing freely. Boss performed the same action. Even without unlocking the third metal frame, the vehicle plummeted down. Boss and Noah held onto whatever seemed sturdiest for dear life. Noah realized the metal support of the third kite was slowly bending with the force of the fall against the air resistance on the cloth. He reached out and yanked on the metal rod holding it in place. It wouldn't budge. Half a second later, a loud metallic groan followed by a sharp snapping sound pierced through the general roar of the wind. The frame was gone.

"Shit," was the only thing that came to Noah's mind.

When the metal transporter hit the bottom, both Boss and Noah lost their hold and were flung against each other. Boss's head slammed into Noah's nose. Noah's elbow found its way into Boss's mouth. Boss's heel collided with Noah's shin. Noah's knee jabbed Boss in the stomach. They finally came to a rest and groaned in unison.

"Ow, ow. That was painful, yeah?"

"Tell me about it."

The clamor of footsteps signified people boarding the carrier. As almost everyone had settled in, an especially intense tremor rattled the vehicle. Many fell, unable to retain balance with the platform beneath them shaking violently. When the trembling finally died down, panic spread like wildfire through the crowd.

"Hey, hey! It's going to be alright, yeah? Don't worry, yeah? I'll get you all to safety, yeah, yeah?" Boss cried over the commotion.

Either people didn't hear him, or just decided to ignore him, but the hubbub did not recede.

"Let's just leave," said Noah. "Is everyone on?" he asked one of Boss's men.

"Yes. Everyone has boarded."

"Good." Noah knocked the rod into place, as did Boss. The vehicle began to ascend, though at a much slower pace than the first time. It was more than two minutes before the ride came to a halt. Everyone disembarked, though Noah had a weird nagging feeling in the back of his mind. Was he forgetting something?

"What, what? Where's Sis, yeah?" asked Boss, scanning the crowds.

Noah blinked a few times. He looked downwards with a growing sensation of dread. "About that…"

~with Sammy and company~

Caprilla punched Redbeard in the face. Sammy kicked him in the crotch. Noelle stabbed him in the back of the head with the heel of her high heel. The triple combo sent Redbeard crashing to the ground and writhing in pain.

"He's weak," noted Sammy.

"He's really weak," Noelle replied.

"Shut up, you annoying brats. You're annoying me," said Caprilla.

"Mommy, help! I can't stop running!" cried Rummy. Everyone watched as he continued to run in circles.

Finally, Caprilla intercepted the boy and hefted him off the ground by his collar. His legs kept moving while she suspended him in the air. Eventually, he was able to come to rest and Caprilla set him down on the ground.

"Caprilla saved me again, Mommy! Yay!"

"I didn't save you. I just beat up an annoying person, that's all."

"Mommy, Caprilla's being mean!"

"H-how was that mean?" Caprilla spluttered. "I just saved you from that annoying guy and you're calling me mean?"

"Ah," murmured Rummy, smiling slyly. "So Caprilla _did_ save me. Caprilla's so nice, isn't she, Mommy?"

At a loss for words, Caprilla simply cuffed the boy on the head.

"Ouchy."

And then another rock fell on Noelle's head. And another. And another. And…well, you get the idea.

"You're getting a lot of rocks," Sammy remarked, bending back to look at the ceiling. "Your head must be a rock magnet or something."

"That's not funny," said Noelle with a grimace. Whichever way she moved, the stream of stones would follow.

"Oh, I know." Sammy grinned. "This is something called bad luck. Ivan-sama told me all about it. Sorry, Noelle, but I think you have it."

Noelle rolled her eyes. "Thanks for telling me," she muttered with obvious sarcasm.

Before anything else could happen, Redbeard got back on his feet and decided to wreak havoc (not really) upon the group. "I AM REDBEARD!"

"WE ALL KNOW THAT ALREADY!" was the reply he received.

"I will have that gold no matter what!" Redbeard shouted, pointy a thick finger at Rummy. "Tell me where you hid it!"

Rummy smiled lazily. "Mommy doesn't want me to."

"I'll find it myself!" And with that, Redbeard rushed to the group of stalagmites, squeezing his way between them and combing the ground with his hands.

"He's…" Sammy trailed off, trying to find the right word. "…determined. Yeah, he's very determined to find some gold. I wonder why."

"Because he's a moron," answered Caprilla.

"Because he's an idiot," answered Noelle.

"BECAUSE I AM REDBEARD!" answered Redbeard.

Rummy plugged his fingers into his ears. "Mommy, why are pirates so loud?" he complained sulkily.

"BECAUSE I AM—"

"SHUT UP!"

Redbeard angrily rose to his feet, but found his foot was stuck. He quickly lost his balance and fell down among the stalagmites, cursing as he did so. His foul language was soon replaced with a roar of triumph. "I found it!"

Everyone fell over. "HE ACTUALLY FOUND IT?"

Redbeard stood, holding up a golden flower. A wide grin was plastered on his face. His teeth were a horror to look at, but that was beside the point.

"Mommy says he can't have the flower no matter what," said Rummy, frowning a little.

"Leave it to me," said Sammy, patting Rummy on the head. He stuck up his thumb. "I'll make sure he doesn't keep it, alright?" He sprinted towards Redbeard, shouting, "Drop the flower, unfashionable person!"

Redbeard managed to step to the side as the spiky-haired adolescent ran towards him, but Sammy's hand managed to whack him in the arm, causing him to lose his grip on his precious find. At the same time, Steggy flew out of Sammy's pocket and sailed through the air, nearing the golden marigold, which was also in the air.

Things seemed to move in slow motion. Sammy turned his head around and cried, "STEEEEGYYYY!" as Redbeard lunged forward and yelled, "GOOOOLD!"

And then a blinding golden flash illuminated the entire cavern. It faded away to reveal a golden flower lying next to a stegosaurus figurine in the dust. Sammy howled in despair as he fell to his knees beside his beloved Steggy. But was it still the same stegosaurus figurine he had grown to know?

Noelle blinked a few times to dispel the uncomfortable afterimage of the golden light. She took a good look at Steggy and blinked a few more times. Steggy's spikes had turned bright red.

Rummy ambled over and picked up the gold flower. "Mommy says she really didn't have a choice. He couldn't have the flower."

"Steggy," whimpered Sammy, tears welling up in his eyes. "You…you turned red! How could this happen to you? You were such a great person!"

"It's a figurine," muttered Noelle.

"We could have been such great friends, Steggy! We could have formed the ultimate pirate crew together!" Sammy wailed, ignoring Noelle's comment.

Noelle rolled her eyes and sighed in defeat. She didn't have much time to dwell on the stupidity of her 'captain' since, at that moment, the chamber finally decided to completely cave in. Noelle barely made it out without being buried under tons of rubble. She looked to her side and ogled at the sight of Sammy carrying the still unconscious Redbeard Pirates while weeping over Steggy's new coloration. The figurine stood proudly in the palm of his hand, unaffected by Sammy's distress.

"Why did you bring those annoying people?" groaned Caprilla in an almost whiney tone. "They're annoying."

"T-They w-w-would've d-died," Sammy stuttered through heavy sobs. He couldn't bear to look at Steggy any longer and tore his gaze away from the horrifying reality, placing the precious figurine back into his pocket.

Caprilla gave him the _whatever_ look and tossed Rummy into the first of two linked mining carts. She gestured impatiently for Noelle and Sammy to get in. Sammy unloaded the Redbeard Pirates into the second cart and joined Rummy and Noelle in the first. With one mighty heave, Caprilla pushed the carts down a slope. She ran alongside the moving cart on all fours for a second or two, then leapt on gracefully, her foot conveniently pounding into Sammy's gut.

The wind wanted to tear the passengers from the carts. The tracks weren't very reliable, so moments of being airborne were frequent. It didn't take long for them to reach their destination, though the exhilaration lasted far beyond that time period. Caprilla hopped out with ease.

"Rummy, take these brats to your weird elevator thing. I have to do something." She then headed off into the labyrinth of tunnels.

Rummy nodded. "Mommy says it should be around here somewhere," he said.

Sammy, his tears dry from the rollercoaster mining cart ride, hefted a Redbeard Pirate over his shoulder and followed the straw-haired boy. Noelle realized the pirates head been tied together by their own coats and sashes so that they lugged behind Sammy in an odd parade.

After minutes of seemingly aimless wandering, the group emerged at the desired destination. There was one little problem.

"Oh? That's strange," Rummy murmured. "Mommy, I don't see the air-catcher."

"What air-catcher?" asked an irritated Noelle. She didn't know what an air-catcher was. She certainly didn't see anything that could've looked like an air-catcher. And above all, if this air-catcher was their ticket to the surface and it wasn't there, then how were they supposed to go up?

"Wait," said Sammy, craning his head to look upwards. He pointed. "Is that it?"

WHAM! A heavy, metal contraption slammed into the stone ground only about a foot away from where Sammy stood. A familiar curly head came into view.

"Honestly!" shouted Noah. "Don't stand too close! You might have been squashed."

Sammy paid no heed to the tall fellow. "Wow! This is so cool!" he exclaimed, jumping aboard the metal craft and dragging the procession of pirates with him.

"Hold on, hold on! Are those the pirates, yeah?" Boss had an astonished expression on his face. He glanced between the unconscious pirates and Sammy.

"We can talk about that later, Hammer. Let's go up before we're stuck down here forever." Noah paused and swept a loose curl of hair from his eyes. "Where is Caprilla?"

Rummy had crawled to the upper platform and taken hold of a kite. He began to turn it.

"What about Sis, YEAH?" Boss shrieked, clearly panicked.

"Mommy says she'll be fine," Rummy replied. He locked the kite into place and the vehicle began to rise. Sammy did the same thing with the only remaining frame and laughed as the craft shot up to the surface.

"THIS IS GREAT!" he screamed into the wind.

"NO IT'S NOT!" screamed Noelle, her knuckles white as she grasped the railing.

The collision with the ceiling knocked everyone to their hands and knees. Noah forcibly shooed Sammy off the air-catcher, since the teen had wanted to ride it again, and led the way out. They were greeted with a cool breeze and the sight of Caprilla yawning while stretching her arms.

"SIS!" shouted Boss, running over to hug his sister.

Caprilla skillfully dodged and held up a small remote control.

"Don't tell me—" began Noah, but did not finish as Caprilla pressed a button, causing the ground beneath them to shake.

"E-earthquake?" squeaked Noelle before falling on her rear end.

The tremor soon ended. The former Mari City residents looked confused, bewildered, and frightened. They had yet to grow accustomed to the strange phenomenon of the aboveground world.

"_You_," said Noah, pointing an accusing finger at Caprilla. "You did this! Why?"

Caprilla shrugged. "I had some extra dynamite. Wanted to do something fun."

"Is this your definition of fun?" screeched Noah, casting an arm in the direction of the former Mari City residents.

Again, Caprilla shrugged. "Sure. A lot of interesting things happened."

"You were endangering lives! People could have died for your 'fun'!"

"But no one did, did they?"

Noah, too infuriated to continue the conversation, simply turned his back to Caprilla, crossing his arms in the same motion.

"So…I guess there wasn't an exploding volcano," Sammy said, slightly disappointed.

"No, there is," said Caprilla. She gestured northward. "An underwater volcano. It's far away from here, but you can still feel some of the tremors."

Sammy's eyes lit up. "Underwater volcano? That means there might be a new island!" He did a small happy dance in the sand. It was only then did he notice something very peculiar. "Hey, Noelle. Where's the _King Dan's Payback_?"

Noelle turned a full 360 degrees. "Not here," she answered.

"Oh, you need a boat?" Noah wandered over to a sand dune. He grasped a small metal ring and yanked off a tarp that had been covering three rowboats. "Go ahead a take one. You deserve it for putting up with someone like Caprilla," he spat bitterly.

"Awesome! Thanks a lot, Curly Head!" Sammy helped Noah drag it to the water. Noelle, though a bit reluctantly, grabbed an oar and took position beside Sammy.

Noah sighed dejectedly. He waved half-heartedly. "Be some good little pirates, now. And watch out for Marines. Especially Seventeenth Branch Marines. Especially those Three-Seventeenth Commodores. They're monsters, I hear."

"Yeah, yeah!" Sammy called out jokingly. "I'll beat them up! 'Cause I'm gonna be the next Pirate King! Yeah!"

"Stop saying 'yeah'!" Noelle growled, raising her oar threateningly.

Sammy just laughed. He dipped his oar in the water and began to row.

"What, what? They're just leaving, yeah?" Boss said, watching the rowboat get smaller and smaller. He seemed unsure of his emotions, and it showed on his face.

Noah sighed again. "I don't even know what they were doing here in the first place. Well, what _were_ they doing here in the first place, Hammer?"

Boss shrugged. The action bore much resemblance to his sister's own shrug. "I don't even remember now, yeah?"

Caprilla came over and punched Noah in the face. She took off her glasses and slipped them into a pocket. "Hey, Noah. I have an idea."

"I don't want to hear it."

"You know, that annoying kid was having a lot more fun than me."

"I said I don't want to hear it!"

"So I was thinking…"

"Not listening!"

Caprilla snickered at Noah, who had his hands pressed firmly over his ears. "Fine. I'll just become a pirate all by myself then."

"No! That is an absurd idea! It's dangerous, it's risky, it could end in disaster! You'll be wanted by the Marines! You'll be hunted down like a rabbit! Are you out of your mind, Caprilla? This is your fatal flaw! Think things through before recklessly springing into action!"

After his rant, Caprilla took a second to smirk in sweet victory before punching the curly-haired man in the face once again.

* * *

><p>To top off a long chapter, this is gonna be a long an. Also, it took a long time to write this. Too long. Way too long. But it was hard work trying to wrap things up in a satisfactory way (ARGH! THE FLASHBACKS!). If you look back on past chapters, you'll notice bits of foreshadowing here and there. There are a lot of unexplained things, but that's intentional.

Caprilla has said "annoying" 36 times, "shut up" 12 times, and has punched a person in the face 16 times in the entirety of this arc. Just some interesting statistics for thought. Oh, and now you can probably guess what her fruit is. Knowing that, you'd also know how she got to the surface before Sammy and Co.

Sammy and Tavvy have had ten chappies each! Hooray! My biggest pride in this story lies within the characters and the 2 o' clock humor. So who are the funniest characters so far? What are their funniest moments? If I could count as a character, I wouldn't choose myself! I wonder why...

And I removed all that character bio stuff because it took up too much space. Well, that's it for now. Thanks for readin' and stay cool (really? 100+ temps? Are the weather gods crazy?)


	22. Ravioli Island Arc: Troop

~Tavvy~

"Hey, Bailey," said Tavvy. He seemed concerned and kept glancing back towards the castle.

"Hmm?" Bailey responded sleepily. It was getting late. He wanted to go to bed.

Tavvy wiped away a milk mustache with his sleeve. "Uh…what do we do now?"

Bailey rubbed his eyes. He blinked rapidly, trying to dispel his fatigue. "No idea. Tundra was supposed to give orders, but, you know, he got eaten."

"_You could have called back to the branch. I've been waiting for a call for at least six hours_," said Rockwell's accusing voice. He seemed to be speaking straight into Tavvy and Bailey's ears.

Both Tavvy and Bailey jumped five feet into the air. They looked around frantically for the source of the voice.

"Whoa! Where's this voice coming from?" asked Tavvy, eyes wide.

"_Your earpiece_."

Tavvy felt his ear. He had forgotten about the mini-mini den den mushi. One of the sailors had explained that the super small snails were a recently discovered type of den den mushi. Unlike baby den den mushi, mini-mini den den mushi could communicate over an indefinite distance. However, they could only connect with other mini-mini DDMs whose radio waves must be pre-recognized.

"Sorry. The idea never occurred to us," Bailey apologized, the shock snapping him from his drowsy stupor.

The two thought they heard something along the lines of "Typical new recruits" before hearing a definite, "_Why am I only getting a signal from two of you? You mentioned something about Tundra getting eaten, but what about Greneland?_"

"He's dancing around with the rich people back at the castle," said Tavvy, casting another glance at the castle in question. In the back of his mind, he noticed how Rockwell did not seem at all surprised or worried by the news of a commodore being eaten.

There was a pause. "_What do you mean by 'back at the castle'? Are you implying that you are not currently within the castle?_" Rockwell's voice had risen in volume by just a tiny increment.

There was also a pause on Tavvy and Bailey's end. "Well, you see…" began Bailey, but he was unwilling to continue.

Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately, Tavvy finished what Bailey had been reluctant to say. "I spilled some wine on a lady, so we ran away from the ball. Then we got some milk and honey from a kind old man. Now, we're sitting on a hill!" he explained excitedly.

Rockwell made a choking sound. "_You spilled wine on a noble? Are you certain about that?_"

Bailey cringed as Tavvy shouted, "Yes! It was definitely a very, very rich person! She had loads of makeup!"

The two heard a loud, frustrated sigh. "_It's people like you who make my job so hard_." Rockwell sighed again. "_Go to the castle and _politely _apologize to the poor woman. Then find Greneland and report back. Understood?_"

"Yes, sir!" said Tavvy, saluting even though Rockwell could not see him.

"But what about Tundra?" Bailey asked. To his surprise, Rockwell laughed.

After his chuckles died down, Rockwell cleared his throat. "_Don't concern yourself in that matter. Focus on your mission. It should be easily accomplished…even for beginners_," the warrant officer said.

Bailey and Tavvy exchanged worried glances, but did not press the topic any further. "Okay. We'll head back now."

The lack of a response left them confused for a moment, but they soon realized Rockwell didn't wish to speak to them anymore. They set off to the castle at a hesitant pace.

~with Greneland~

He had not expected this to happen, especially not to himself. Thinking back, he affirmed in his mind that there had never been any implication of danger associated with the mission in the debriefing. Greneland let out a defeated groan. Why had he decided to join the Marines? He could have lived life happily in his palace without care of the outside world.

"Oh, yes," Greneland muttered to himself darkly. "My father."

"What was that, you stupid nobleman?" barked a gruff voice.

"Nothing your dirty commoner ears could possibly fathom!" spat Greneland. The butt of a gun bashed him in the back of the head. He felt the tiniest trickle of blood run between his hair follicles. It sent a shiver down his spine.

"Listen to me, you stupid nobleman, and listen to me closely," said the owner of the voice, a stout, clean-shaven man with heavy eyebrows and chubby cheeks. "If I hear another arrogant word out of you, you'll find a bullet in your brains!"

Greneland huffed loudly. "Don't you dare shoot me with one of those cheap bullets! My flesh will curl if it touches that fifty-beli junk! At least use high quality metal, preferably gold…but I will settle for silver if need be."

The chubby-cheeked man let out a low growl of rage. "Why you!" He set his gun to Greneland's head.

"Stop, Gurche. We did not come to needlessly spill blood," said a calm voice from behind. Greneland twisted his neck and stared in shock at the most muscular man he had ever seen in his entire life.

The man stood at around eight feet tall. Each of his limbs resembled a thick tree trunk. He wore a simple black suit with a dark gray undershirt. His pants were also black, though a bit too short, as they revealed his white socks and the tops of his shiny brown shoes.

"S-Sorry, Mr. Bursun," mumbled chubby Gurche. He reluctantly removed the gun from Greneland's head.

"Do not get carried away." Bursun's voice was muffled due to the colorful mask covering his face. It was mostly a vibrant purple with red, yellow, and green swirls. Small slits allowed for vision and breathing, but there was no opening for the mouth. "Anyways, where is Argunto? He was supposed to be here by now."

Gurche shook his head. "I haven't heard from him."

"He must be drunk somewhere! Isn't that what people like you do all day and night?" Greneland exclaimed.

"Shut it, noble guy. Argunto doesn't even drink!"

Greneland laughed. "He doesn't even drink? That's pathetic!"

As Gurche was about to shout a reply, Bursun walked over and landed a huge paw of a hand on Greneland's shoulder. "It would be wise of you to remain quiet. I cannot guarantee your life if you do not heed my advice," warned the heavily muscular man.

Greneland jerked away from him. "Do _not_ touch me! I am Prince Greneland of Rappelar. One word from me can result in the end of you, your family, and all your little friends!"

"You will not be able to say a word if you are dead!" Bursun stomped his foot into the ground, shattering the smooth tiles underneath his foot.

Somewhere in his consciousness, Greneland wondered how much it would cost to repair the tiles. Pushing away those thoughts, he turned his attention to remembering the faces of the people who had taken the ballroom under their control. The other nobles were deathly frightened and stood lined up with their backs against a wall. Greneland, King Ravioli, and Queen Lasagna had been pulled away from the others. The king and queen stood there wordlessly while Greneland had been quick to badmouth the ones who had the nerve to call him a 'stupid noble'.

"My family will _hunt you down_ if you so much as scratch the tip of my nose," Greneland said with a sneer. "Your very existence will be erased from the record books and no one will even remember you or your filthy antics!"

Bursun seemed to want to reply, but instead turned away to speak with another person. "Fiedel, have you found the other Marines?" he asked.

The man named Fiedel scrunched up his nose and looked to the side. "Uh…well…no…"

Bursun nodded patiently. "Yes? What seems to be the trouble?"

Fiedel threw his arms into the air in exasperation. "Their ship at the docks has vanished. The commodore and the two kids have also disappeared. This noisy noble guy is the only one left." He set a hand on his hip and flourished flamboyantly with his other. "I really don't get it. It's like they all just disappeared."

Greneland gulped at the news. He was alone. Alone with a bunch of unrefined men and terrified nobles. He knew he was not a good fighter. He had only been trained in basic self-defense martial arts, and he hadn't been very good at it. He couldn't even use his status; these people didn't seem to care. And he would never fall so low as to bribe criminals with his own money.

"So, uh, Mr. Bursun? Should we just proceed as planned, or should we continue to search for them Marines?"

Bursun scratched his chin thoughtfully. After a few moments of serious consideration, he said, "We will proceed. Alert everyone that we are moving forward with the plan."

Nodding, Fiedel pulled out a den den mushi and began making calls. Meanwhile, the other intruders herded the aristocrats out of the ballroom at gunpoint. Greneland also found a gun digging into his back. It prodded him sharply, causing him to stumble forward.

"Stop poking me with that crude—" began Greneland, but he was cut off when the barrel of the gun whacked him in the side of the head. "Ow! Stop that at once!" He whirled around to confront the impudent fool, only to find himself looking slightly upwards at terrifying, heavily scarred face. Intense, clear blue pools bore into his own murky green eyes. The scars only brought out those eyes even more. Greneland's imagination conjured up an awkward situation involving a deluxe blender and fruit smoothies. His stomach grumbled, reminding him of his foolish decision of kissing people's hands over eating some appetizers. Now that he thought about it, he hadn't eaten since lunchtime. His stomach growled again.

The scar-faced man didn't seem notice Greneland's hunger and Greneland doubted he would have cared if he had known. Again, the man jabbed the gun into the lieutenant's back. Greneland scowled, but decided it was best to step away from the reach of the gun rather than shouting something at the scarred man. This proved to be the criminal's intention, since he pursued Greneland with the gun and eventually pushed him all the way out a door.

As Greneland stepped through the doorframe, he turned to the man and gave the most irritated glare he could muster. "My father will hear about this. And when he does, all of you will suffer painful and humiliating deaths!"

The smirk that appeared in response to his words caught Greneland off guard. It wasn't cruel or otherwise malicious in any way. In fact, it appeared almost playful, as if the man knew of a clever prank. And Greneland despised clever pranks.

"Is this funny to you? Well it won't be funny when the Marines capture you and throw you into the deepest depths of Impel Down," spat Greneland, "since that's the price you pay for angering a World Noble."

But to Greneland's fury, the amused smirk persisted on the scarred man's face. The World Noble's son clenched his hand into a fist. He brought up his fist and punched his captor in that scarred face of his. A small detail triggered alarms in his head, but he soon forgot all about it as the butt of a gun slammed into the back of his neck. Greneland coughed, stumbling away from the oppressor. A few seconds later, that same gun poked him in the shoulder and motioned down the hallway. Greneland had no choice but to obey.

"I should have never become a stupid Marine," Greneland hissed under his breath.

~with Tavvy and Bailey~

"Why can't you let us in? We're Marines! We even have invitations to the Queen's ball if that's not enough!" shouted Bailey. He was just about ready to punch the idiotic guard. The boy couldn't be any older than fifteen, yet he acted like he owned the world.

The guard laughed. "If you want to get into Ravioli Castle, at least make up better lies. You two are too dumb to be Marines!"

Tavvy, who had been content to letting Bailey argue up until now, stepped forward and grabbed the young guard by the shirt. "Hey, you moose-riding cockatoo! Let us in before I make your world turn upside down!" Then, without even waiting for a reply, he flipped the boy and slammed him headfirst into the ground.

Bailey sighed, unclipped the keys to the gate from the guard's belt, and opened the gates with a slight push. He turned to Tavvy. "Really, mate? A moose-riding cockatoo?"

Tavvy simply shrugged and sauntered up the gravel walkway leading to the front doors of the castle. Bailey, realizing he was being left behind, jolted forward and slipped on the small rocks beneath his feet. He fell onto his front with a loud thump.

"Whoa! Bailey, are you alright?" Tavvy exclaimed as he rushed to his friend's aid.

Bailey struggled to rise to his feet. There were many small red marks dotting his face and hands where the gravel had pressed into his skin. "I've been better." He grimaced, rubbing the palms of his hands together. "Man, that was embarrassing."

"Don't worry, Bailey!" said Tavvy, slapping Bailey on the shoulder. "I was the only one who saw it." A sharp burst of laughter soon proved his words to be wrong.

A woman with short, curly brown hair graciously glided down the steps of the front door. She wasn't particularly beautiful, but she had a defiant fire in her dark blue eyes. She seemed out of place with the towering castle behind her, since she dressed in a plain t-shirt and capris.

Tavvy stood next Bailey and crossed his arms. "Bailey fell on purpose!" he said definitively, giving a curt nod.

Bailey hit himself on the forehead. "Yeah. I like to do that. It's exhilarating."

The woman seemed quite amused. "You two are funny. The Marines really are a goofy bunch." She produced a paper fan from her pocket and flicked it open.

"We're not goofy," said Tavvy, rather hurt.

"_You_ are," muttered Bailey, though not loud enough for anyone to hear.

"Oh, please. 'Accidentally' splashing wine in someone's face is goofy enough." The woman walked towards them and extended a hand, smiling slightly. "Princess Cannoli."

Tavvy grinned back. "Seaman Recruit Tavvy!" He took Cannoli's hand and shook it firmly.

"Seaman Recruit Bailey," said Bailey, also accepting the princess's hand.

Cannoli waved her fan a few times before brushing past the two and gesturing for them to follow. She walked out the gates and down a path which led to a luscious garden. Tavvy and Bailey trailed a few steps behind. They had just become aware that the person they had just shaken hands with was a princess.

"Hey, Cannoli," Tavvy called, ignoring her proper title and trotting up alongside the princess. "Weren't you blonde at the ball? You looked just like those other two ladies."

Cannoli didn't seem to mind being called without her title. "A wig. I was the only daughter born with brown hair. My parents think all royal women should be blondes."

"Wow. They're stupid."

"I agree."

Bailey gulped and glanced around to make sure no one was listening. Were these two crazy? Calling nobles stupid was about the stupidest thing one could do while at a noble's castle.

"Here we are. Please refrain from shouting loudly, as that would attract unwanted attention." Cannoli unlocked the door to a very large shed. She turned the doorknob and entered, Tavvy and Bailey close behind.

It was dark. There were no lanterns or anything of that nature available. The only light came from the moon, which managed to shine into the shed through a glass window on the ceiling. The wooden floor was strewn with dead leaves and dirt. The whole place creaked with every step the group took.

Bailey felt something twitch in his pocket. He pulled out Hodge's vivre card and stared. It kept twitching as he walked down a row of fat, closet-like spaces. The doors were made not of wood, but wire mesh. Most of them were empty, but as they neared the end of the shed, a few figures were visible behind the mesh doors.

"Uh…Hodge?" Bailey asked tentatively, stopping in front of the first occupied cage.

"Yeah, Fancy Pants. That's me," said Hodge. He chuckled. "So Rockwell finally got his ass around to getting me out of this place. That wily bastard sure took his time."

There was laughter from the other 'closets'. "Rockwell, that dog! Why's he sending kids to do the dirty work? Where's them commodores?"

"The commodores are too busy to deal with a little thing like this."

"Too busy fighting boredom, I say! They keep those three off as many missions as possible only 'cause otherwise they'd steal all the work in East Blue!"

"They should go to the Grand Line already!"

"Hear, hear!"

"Would the lot of you just SHUT UP?" cried Hodge. He turned his attention back to Bailey. "Hey, Fancy Pants. We know there's some kind of plan going on, but could you just get us out of these…umm…closets? It's uncomfortable being chained up in here."

Before Bailey could attempt to answer, Cannoli cut in. "I'm sorry, Master Chief Petty Officer Hodge, but you'll have to stay in there until everything is carried out."

Hodge sighed frustratingly. "Yes, yes. I understand." His face was cast in shadow, but Bailey could imagine a deep scowl on the man's face. He moved and Bailey could hear the jingling of his chains.

"So why are you chained up in a closet anyways?" Tavvy asked.

"Allow me to explain," said Cannoli. She brushed off a wooden bench and sat down. "First, you should know that my father and mother are supplying arms to many criminal organizations."

"Isn't that what all rich people do?" one of the captives growled.

Cannoli ignored him. "A few months ago, Commodore Tundra visited the island to investigate the murder of one of the officials stationed here. The official had found out about the weapon dealing, so my parents sent assassins after him. The commodore managed to catch a whiff of my parents' illegal actions, which put my father on edge. Then my father, being the stupid man that he is, banned all coffee from the island."

Bailey banged his head against a nearby wall.

"I felt so bad for the commodore. He absolutely loved the coffee here. He drank seventy-six cups of the finest blends before it was banned."

Bailey continued to bang his head against the wall.

"Not even I was allowed to drink coffee. Of course, I don't particularly enjoy drinking coffee, but it was just outrageous. Even coffee-flavored cakes were banned. Now, _that_ was taking it much too—"

"So then what happened?" Tavvy asked, interrupting the princess in the middle of her sentence.

Again, Cannoli seemed to take no offense from Tavvy's actions. "Well, the commodore left soon after the ban. The actual assassin had been found and arrested, but I don't know if the commodore knew about his connection to my parents. Either way, my parents did not let their guard down."

Tavvy picked his ear with his pinky. "What's that all got to do with a missing princess and people locked in closets?" he asked.

Bailey thought he saw Tavvy flick away a large chunk of earwax, but he couldn't be sure in the darkness of the building. He didn't want to find out anyways.

"Biscotti is not actually missing." Cannoli closed her fan with a sharp flick of her wrist. "Her supposed disappearance was supposed to draw the commodore back to the island so that my father's goons could demolish him."

"Eh? But Tun-san didn't go the first time."

Cannoli laughed. She opened her fan again. "My father thought that the commodore would still be suspicious and would come to investigate further," she explained. "But when the commodore didn't show up…" she trailed off and glanced towards Hodge and his team.

"This is why I hate rich people!" Hodge spat.

The officer was ignored. "Master Chief Petty Officer Hodge and his men were defeated by the Magnus Troop, a group of highly trained fighters who stayed in the Grand Line for a year or two before coming back to East Blue," Cannoli continued. "They do it for the money, but they're not completely rotten. Their leader, Magnus Bursun, is not a bad man. He just chose the wrong profession."

"They're strong!" shouted one of Hodge's team members. "They made Hodge look like a little kid against an army of Sea Kings!"

"Oh, shut up, Midomo!"

"So you ain't gonna deny it!"

"I said shut up!"

Cannoli accidentally dropped her fan. She retrieved it, shook it a few times to rid it of the loose soil, and continued to fan herself, seemingly oblivious to the turmoil between Hodge and the other prisoners. "With the master chief petty officer's team out of the way, my parents requested backup, specifically Commodore Tundra. Of course, with money and status involved, the Marines readily complied."

"Or maybe not so readily," mumbled Bailey, remembering how Tundra had been chained to a chair. The poor Marine had just wanted to drink his coffee in peace. Now, he was probably in some Sea King's belly. The more he thought about it, the more Bailey's sympathy for the commodore grew.

"They planned to ambush your entire team at the ball, but the commodore never arrived and you two left early. It was entertaining to watch them struggle over the setback. The commodore probably has plans to catch them off guard with a surprise attack."

Tavvy blinked. "Tun-san got eaten by a Sea King, you know," he informed the princess.

Cannoli regarded him dubiously, as if she thought he was joking.

"He really did! The Sea King was blue with pink blobs and had some pink fur running down its neck!"

The doubt in Cannoli's eyes did not dwindle, but she nodded and decided to go along with it. "I'm sure a Sea King won't stop a commodore. And Tundra is one of the Three Seventeenth Commodores, so worrying would be pointless."

Bailey rubbed his chin with the back of his hand. He felt uneasy about the whole situation they were in. Something wasn't right. "Wait. Why are you telling us about your parents and their evil plans in the first place?"

Cannoli gave him a bewildered look. "Isn't it obvious? I want to stop my parents. All the nobles on this island are so stuck up and disgusting. They don't even eat real food! I mean, who can survive off just those tiny sandwiches?" She gestured with her hand and fan to show just how tiny those sandwiches were.

"Not me!" Tavvy shouted. He turned to Bailey. "We have to stop her parents! Let's go beat them up!" He rushed to the door and was about to wrench it open, but it flew open in his face and another princess joined the party.

Cannoli rose to her feet. "Biscotti? What are you doing out here?"

Biscotti entered, oblivious to Tavvy, who had been squashed between the door and the wall. "Cannoli! The Magnus Troop is in the castle! They've already sent out the message," she said in a hushed voice.

"What message?" Tavvy managed to squeeze out from his uncomfortable position. The moonlight fell on his face and Biscotti gasped.

"He's soooo cute!" she cried, setting her hands on either side of her face.

"This isn't the time, Biscotti!" Cannoli hissed.

"HOW DARE YOU CALL ME CUTE, YOU MAD WOMAN?" Tavvy roared. He swiped the air with his fingers bent. "I'm ferocious! I'm your worst nightmare!" He glared at her menacingly.

"Look at him, Cannoli! He's like a cute little kitty trying to act tough!"

Cannoli rolled her eyes at her sister as Tavvy continued to act 'ferocious'.

Finally, Bailey intervened and stopped Tavvy's hysterical actions. "Alright, okay, we get the idea. Cut it out already," he said, grabbing Tavvy's arm.

Biscotti gave a squeal of delight as the moonlight lit up Bailey's face as well. "This one is cute too!" she shrieked, causing Bailey to pale considerably.

"Biscotti," Cannoli growled, "you think everyone younger than you is cute. Now, go and evacuate Tiramisu and Pizzelle from the castle. And don't forget to brew some coffee!"

Biscotti nodded solemnly and ran off, but not before winking at the two seaman recruits. Tavvy and Bailey were both aghast from their encounter with the bubbly princess. Tavvy shivered uncontrollably. Bailey's mouth was slightly open in terror. They realized a certain forgetful commodore had also been subject to such horrors and understood why he had expressed such unwillingness to return to Ravioli Island.

"I apologize for my sister," Cannoli said, shaking her head. "She is rather…eccentric."

"Crazy is more like it," Bailey retorted bitterly.

Hodge grunted in agreement. "All of them rich people are crazy."

"Hear, hear!" chorused the other captives.

Bailey sat down, exhausted. He shrugged off his tuxedo jacket and let out a long breath. "So, how are we going to stop the Magnus Troop and bring down two highly influential nobles?"

Cannoli smiled, though her fan covered it. "Well, I'll leave that matter up to you two," she said slyly.

Tavvy and Bailey just stared at each other in dumb shock.

~inside Ravioli Castle~

A figure ambled down a hallway. He opened a door and peered in. What he saw obviously left him disappointed since he slammed the door shut and stalked away angrily. He came to another door and displayed the same reaction. He scratched the back of his head in a frustrated manner.

"Damn it all! Where's the coffee room?"

* * *

><p>Hey, you only had to wait 15 days for this one! Be grateful! And wow, That is A LOT of dialogue...<p>

so Greneland insults some criminals, Tavvy and Bailey consult a princess or two, and Tundra is... being Tundra. And we meet Hodge, that person who doesn't like rich people. And Bursun, a really tall guy. Tundra seems to be quite popular among my readers. Don't worry, you'll see him kick some Magnus Troop arse in the next Tavvy chappie.

Next chapter, a new arc begins with Sammy and Noelle! Get ready for some new friends and awesome adventure!

* * *

><p>Read One Piece: Age of the Four Seasons! I know I've said this before, but it's an awesome story about 4 separate crews doing awesome stuff in their awesome way! It's even more awesome since I, the wonderful and magnificent person with a long pen name, beta for the Rift Pirates! So read it!<p>

Also, subscribe to the community I'm part of called The Real OC's. We have a great collection of stories which feature OCs. If you subscribe to the community, you get instant subscriptions to all the stories there. Okay, I'm done advertising. Peace out, folks! Have a good life!


	23. Target Arc: Trail of Destruction

~Sammy~

"Hey, look! An island!"

"Big surprise. Wait, what are you doing with that rope?"

~on the docks~

"Hey, look! A boat!"

"Hmm?"

~with Sammy~

"Hey, look! A person!"

"No! Don't do that! You're going to—"

"HOLY CRAP."

~on the docks~

"Hey, look! _Look_ already!"

"Yes? What is it?"

"LOOK!"

~with Sammy~

"Hey! WATCH OUT!"

Sammy collided with the man standing on the dock. The man's companion stared wide-eyed as the two tumbled past in a jumble of limbs and curses. They rolled all the way down to a nearby shop selling clay statues. The owner of the shop only gave a vague glance as the two struggled to detangle themselves from each other. It took a few minutes, but both stood up unscathed from the encounter.

"Sorry about that!" Sammy apologized, bowing to the man he had just tackled. "I guess it wasn't too smart to suddenly stop the boat when we were going so fast."

"It's alright, youngster." The man took off his jacket, shook it a few times to rid it of the sand, then shrugged it back on. He adjusted the position of his bowler hat, which had somehow survived the tumble, making sure it was perfectly aligned to his tastes. He turned and raised a hand in the direction of his companion, who still stood there, mouth agape, on the wooden docks.

"My name isn't youngster. It's Sammy," said Sammy.

The man gave him a quizzical look. "Alright…Sammy." He walked away without casting a backwards glance. His companion hurried along behind him, nodding in Sammy's direction before disappearing around a bend.

"What the hell were you thinking?" cried Noelle as she reached the docks in the rowboat Noah had given them.

Sammy waved at her jovially. "Hey, Noelle! I found a really cool restaurant!" he called out.

"I don't care about a restaurant! Don't just go lassoing a rock with a rope connected to the boat while you've just rowed super fast and gained so much momentum!"

"And it serves twenty different kinds of onigiri too!"

"You almost threw me out of the boat too!"

"And free drinks with a purchase of a thousand beli or more!"

Noelle crossed her arms. "You're not going to listen at all, are you?"

As if in answer, Sammy rushed off down a seemingly arbitrarily picked street, dust whirling in his wake.

"I thought so."

~at a restaurant~

"Another glass of…peach juice, please."

"Sure. Coming right up."

Mooko's Restaurant was having a slow day, gaining only three customers in the last hour. Two of those customers remained, sitting at opposite ends of the room. One was a huge glutton, wolfing down large amounts of food at a frightening speed. He couldn't have been more than a teenager. The other was a woman, half of her face hidden behind a veil of straight, jet black hair. She ate a meager meal of a small salad and a small cake, taking her time with each bite. And she also seemed to enjoy sipping peach juice.

Sammy glanced across the restaurant. He couldn't help but notice that the other customer kept staring at him with her only visible eye, a vivid circle of deep violet. As he caught her stare, he felt himself sinking into a vortex of shimmering purple rose petals. Then the woman blinked and Sammy snapped from his stupor.

"—going to pay for all that?"

Sammy looked at the waiter blankly. "What?"

The waiter sighed impatiently. "How are you going to pay for all that?"

"All that what?"

"All that food!"

Sammy burped loudly. "Excuse me." He surveyed the empty plates and bowls stacked precariously on his table. He turned his attention back to the waiter, gesturing vaguely towards the restaurant's other occupant. "Uh…put it on that person's tab."

The waiter's right eyebrow shot up into his forehead. "Do you even know her?" he asked, doubt heavy in his voice.

"No, not really," Sammy admitted. "But she keeps staring at me, so I know she wants to pay my bill."

The other customer didn't seem to take interest in Sammy's antics. Her eye did not wander towards his table. Instead, she occupied herself with wrapping a thin, black shawl around her shoulders. It was a bit chilly outside and her current outfit of a white tank top and short shorts provided little comfort against the biting winds, though Sammy wasn't sure how a simple shawl would remedy that issue.

The waiter turned his head towards the woman, then brought his dubious eyes back to Sammy. "I don't mean to be rude, but perhaps, young sir, that woman is simply staring at the tall piles of dinnerware surrounding you." The tone of his voice suggested he actually did mean to be rude.

Sammy shrugged. He slowly got to his feet, stretched, then bolted out the door.

"Wait!" screamed the waiter (pun completely intended). "T-thief! Someone get the police!"

"That won't…be necessary."

The waiter turned to the woman, who had risen from her seat. "What do you mean? He just ate and ran!"

The woman gazed at him for while before speaking. "I will pay…for his meal." She retrieved a thick wad of bills from her pocket and dropped it into the astonished waiter's hand. "You can…keep the change."

"Wow. You must be rich, lady!"

The woman simply walked out of the restaurant. Moments later, the foundations of the structure gave way and the entire building collapsed. Witnesses reported seeing white thorns surrounding the place right before it fell.

A piercing purple disk followed the movements of a spiky-haired teen from the top floor of the town's clock tower. A quiet, amused laugh resounded off the bells in the tower. "Joker…D. Samuel."

~at an artist's booth~

"That's weird," muttered Sammy as news of the unfortunate fate of the restaurant reached his ears. "I was just eating there."

"Did you say something, kid?" asked the man behind the easel.

Sammy barely moved his lips as he replied. "The restaurant I just ate at got destroyed somehow."

The man nodded. "You mean, Mooko's. Yeah, sad isn't it? It's been there for forty-six years. Most famous restaurant of the town." He moved the slender paintbrush in his hand with expertise, conjuring precise lines of vibrant color. After a few more minutes, he tucked the paintbrush onto his ear and sat back to admire his work. "There, all done. Come on, have a look."

Sammy broke from his pose and moved to the artist's side. "Wow! That's me!" he exclaimed. The canvas was only about as big as a large book. Sammy could have easily carried it under his arm and run away with it.

"It sure is. Like it?"

"You bet I do!"

The artist laughed. "You're quite a spirited fellow. You know what? I think I'll give it to you for free."

Sammy gawked at the man. "For real? Totally free?" He tried to keep the excitement from showing on his face, but just couldn't help but break into a huge grin. "Thanks, artist guy! You're the best!"

The painter grinned back. "Take good care of it, alright? I used some quick-drying paint, but it'll still take a few hours to completely dry. Once it is dry, wrap it with this cloth to protect the painting." He removed the painting from the easel and placed it into Sammy's hands, also presenting him with a roll of sturdy cloth from a nearby bag.

Sammy was on the verge of tears. Tears of happiness. "Thank you so much, artist guy! You don't know how much this means to me! You…you're one of the nicest people I've ever met!" he sobbed, the tears finally breaking free of his eyes. He hurriedly wiped them away with the back of his hand and sniffled while gazing at the artwork in his hands. "I'll take great care of it! I promise!"

As Sammy departed from the artist's booth, a small cloud of worry passed over the artist's thoughts. He quickly whirled around and caught glimpse of a tiny flash of purple in the depths of the town's clock tower. He waved frantically to Sammy. "T-take care of yourself too, ya hear?" he shouted, the volume of his voice much higher than he had intended. An odd sense of fear made his voice crack on the last word of his sentence.

The spiky-haired teen waved back cheerfully. "Don't worry!" he shouted back. And with that, he disappeared into the throng of people.

A couple minutes later, a few friends of the artist decided to visit. "Yo, Brandt! We've got tickets for a live concert later today. Wanna—"

The artist turned his head, then fell to the ground in a splash of red.

~somewhere else in town~

Four hours had passed since Sammy had acquired his painting. He carefully touched it, revealing the paint had dried. As the painter had instructed, he gently wrapped the painting with the cloth. After the canvas was wrapped, Sammy looked around saw a poster for a live concert.

"A concert? Cool!" Sammy decided it would be nice to listen to some good music. He found directions to the park where the concert was to be held and made his way there, bubbling with anticipation. He arrived just in time to hear the opening remarks.

"We'd like to thank our fans for all the support! We love making music for all of you! Now, let's ROCK AND ROLL!"

Following the intense screaming from the strew of fans, the band began to play. It was probably the loudest music Sammy had ever heard. Actually, he wasn't even sure if he was hearing the music since every noise blended into one huge, deafening roar of sound. Even when the song ended, Sammy could still hear nothing besides a loud ringing noise in his ear, so when he suddenly felt himself grabbed, he jerked away and punched the person in the face.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" screamed a young man with a bright red mohawk just as another song started up.

"WHAT? SORRY, I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" Sammy replied, unable to hear himself as well. In fact, he wasn't completely certain that he had said anything.

"YOU'RE A WINNER!" shouted the mohawk man, grinning broadly. "YOU'VE BEEN RANDOMLY SELECTED TO SING ALONG WITH THE BAND UP ON STAGE!"

"SORRY, BUT I STILL CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

"DUDE, JUST GO UP THERE AND ROCK!" The man pushed Sammy through the crowd and up a few steps until he stood right next to the lead singer. "GOOD LUCK, LITTLE MAN!"

The lead singer, a shirtless, average-sized man with very apparent abdominal muscles, slung an arm over Sammy's shoulders and pushed the microphone into his face. Sammy, not knowing what else to do, shouted random words in line with a half-hearted, impromptu melody. It was sensational. The crowd cheered him on with great enthusiasm.

"YOU'RE A NATURAL!" exclaimed the lead singer, bobbing his head along to the non-existent beat. "DO A LITTLE SERVICE FOR THE LADIES, WOULD YOU?"

"HUH? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?"

"TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT!"

"_WHAT_?"

"JUST TAKE IT OFF, MAN! GO WITH THE FLOW!"

"OKAY. WHATEVER YOU SAY!"

And so, Sammy flung off his shirt, causing a re-invigorated wave of screams to rise from the audience. He continued to 'rock' with the band until the very end of the concert. People wanted his autograph. People wanted his shirt. People wanted the random rectangular thing wrapped in cloth that he carried under his arm. People even wanted strands of his hair, which was very unnerving to Sammy.

"Hey, I gotta go now," he told the lead singer while fighting off creepy hands reaching towards him.

"COME BACK AND ROCK WITH US IN THE FUTURE, MAN!" the lead singer called after him as he ran away. The band retired to a small hotel, gathering in one room to have a few drinks together. One of them glanced out the window and saw a curious pinpoint of purple in the depths of the belfry.

"Hey, dude. Look at that weird light up in the clock tower," he said to his fellow band members. When he received no reply, he tore his gaze from the window to glare in annoyance at his friends. "Seriously, look at—" A blur of silver flashed before his eyes. He slumped in his chair, a posture shared with the rest of his band members.

~with Sammy~

Slipping his shirt back on, Sammy vaulted over a fence and hid behind a tree. Making sure no one had followed him, he dashed down a street and eventually came to rest at a wooden bench just outside a library.

"Phew! That was really tiring," he murmured to himself. His voice was a little hoarse, but it didn't hurt very much. Sammy realized it was getting late. He needed to meet up with Noelle and find a place to stay for the night. But…where was Noelle anyways?

"Hey, Noelle! WHERE ARE YOU?" Sammy called. The people around him stared, but none of them had silver hair and red eyes.

Sammy realized that however loud his voice was, it still wouldn't reach the other side of town where Noelle might be. Yes, he would just have to go to the center of town and shout from there.

"Pardon me," he said to an elderly lady, "but would you happen to know where the center of this lovely town is?"

The old woman simply pointed to the old clock tower protruding into the sky.

"Thank you, ma'am." Sammy set off at a fast pace, jogging through the people-clogged streets. He reached the building within fifteen minutes. It seemed normal enough. Sammy entered and sprinted up the steps, taking three at a time. The climb was longer than he had expected and he arrived at the belfry panting heavily. He leaned against an open doorframe to catch his breath.

"Hello, Joker…D. Samuel."

Sammy cried out in surprise as his eyes met a familiar purple eye. He pointed at her rather rudely. "You, from the restaurant!"

The woman slid off her seat atop one of the clock tower bells and moved closer to the young pirate captain. "I was given permission…to fight you without restraint," she murmured. "But I don't…feel like it."

"What the hell are you talking about?" growled Sammy. "You want to fight? Okay, let's fight!" He launched himself at the stranger. "Kizua—" But Sammy screeched to a halt a few yards away and even staggered backwards. He felt an unnaturally huge sensation of fear welling up inside his head.

"I do not…wish to fight you. I am…warning you."

"W-warning me?"

The woman nodded slightly. She brushed past Sammy and began to descend the stairs. "You are…a chosen target. Tread carefully…in this town."

Despite his earlier failed attack, Sammy pursued the stranger. "Hold on!" he cried.

The woman slowly turned around. "What seems…to be the problem?" she asked calmly.

Sammy thought for a moment. "Alright, I have two things I want to ask." He raised a finger. "One, who are you and why are you stalking me?"

"You don't need...to know that."

"Oh, okay then." Sammy raised a second finger. "Two, did you pay for my food back at that restaurant?"

"Yes…I did."

Sammy smiled in relief. "That's great. I usually pay for my food, but I didn't have any money. Thanks a ton!"

"You are…most welcome." And so the woman left and Sammy went back to what he had originally intended to do once he had reached the top of the clock tower.

Sammy cupped his hands around his mouth and took a super-deep breath before hollering, "NOELLE! IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, COME TO THE CLOCK TOWER, OKAY?"

* * *

><p>See? You didn't have to wait so long for this one. On a side note, I don't think I'll ever start another chapter like this again. And I apologize for all the caps with the concert scene, but that's just how loud they were yelling. Oh, great. This is gonna be a REALLY long an (again).

Sooo, I tried my best to make this as random as possible while still having a little plot behind it. And guess what? More mysterious strangers! This chapter was mainly about Sammy and his adventures in this new town, but Noelle will definitely get a bigger role next chapter. I'll tell you now, the purple-eyed lady's identity will not be revealed in this arc, but you will know about her before the arc ends. *laughs evilly* Try and figure that out!

And thanks to all my wonderful reviewers! 100 reviews! I know I don't make a huge fuss over reviews, but this just exceeds my expectations! In alphabetical order, shout out to Arashi-Storm-Guardian, msiSLoTH, Orrahn, SeaDevil, Shadow40000, and Whalebert! *sniffles* You guys are the best!

Want to know what pose Sammy struck for the painting? Too bad! You'll have to wait! Until then, look forward to some noble-busting action in the next Tavvy chapter! So, this is goodbye... for now.

P.S. I lied. This isn't goodbye. To Shadow40000, Boss said "yeah" exactly 123 times in the last arc. And to Arashi-Storm-Guardian, because of your pleading puppy eyes, I have made the lamest chicken-crossing-the-road-joke ever created in chicken-crossing-the-road-joke history:

Sammy: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Steggy: ...

Sammy: Well, you see, it wanted to get to the other side, but there were these things called cars going back and forth and they're really dangerous, so it needed the help of some traffic lights and crosswalks and he got them by asking really politely, but it took a long while and the chicken accidentally died from starvation because he couldn't get his food and no one wants to eat a chicken that died from starvation, but once the traffic lights and crosswalks were put on the road, some really nice guys carried the chicken across the road and fed it some food and the chicken was revived and ate a lot, but then it died from overeating, but people like to eat fat chickens so it was eaten by a large family and everyone lived happily ever after.

Steggy: ...

Sammy: And that's why the chicken crossed the road!

Steggy: ...


	24. Ravioli Island Arc: Failure

~Tavvy~

Bailey scowled in annoyance at the white-haired teen doing handstands among the flowerbeds. "Well? What do you think of the plan?"

"Huh?" Tavvy's bare feet reconnected with soft soil. Along with his shoes and socks, he had also taken off his jacket and tie, so that he only wore his dress shirt and black pants. He shook his hands, flinging off dirt. "What plan?"

Bailey snapped his pencil in half with just two fingers. "The plan I was just explaining," he answered, his voice gaining a frustrated edge.

"Oh. Sorry, I wasn't listening. Could you say it again?"

"I've said it four times already!" Bailey hissed. He yelped in pain as he realized his fingernails had almost cut his skin. He had been unconsciously digging his fingers into his arm. "Urgh! Okay, I'm going to say it one more time. You'd better pay attention or else I'll go on without you, alright?"

Tavvy nodded and sat down next to Bailey on a stone bench, looking as attentive as anyone could be. From another bench, Cannoli watched the two interact with an amused expression. She noticed Bailey had actually gone through his plan six times, but didn't think it wise to bring it up.

"Alright, so they've sent out the message telling most of the men on the island to gather at the castle, leaving only a few to make sure no Marine ships come around. Pretty soon, the place will be swarming with bad guys. Before they arrive, we need to get back into the castle and rescue all the nobles they have hostage."

Tavvy nodded again. "Awesome. So, what are we waiting for? Let's go!" he shouted, hopping to his feet.

Bailey yanked on his companion's sleeve, forcing Tavvy to sit back down. "Not so fast. You've got to remember the Magnus Troop spent a whole two and a half years on the Grand Line. They're tough," he said, his worry evident in his voice.

"So what?"

Bailey let out an exasperated sigh. "So if you go charging in through the front doors, you're going to get pounded into the ground!"

Tavvy frowned. "Nah, I'm pretty sure I can take them all," he said dismissively. "I'm tough too!" To prove this fact, he held up an arm and flexed it dramatically.

"Okay, okay." Bailey ran a hand through his short ginger hair. He glowered at Tavvy, but he quickly broke into a sigh. "I know you're tough, but we should play it safe. It would be better if we snuck in and took them out in small groups instead of taking on all of them at once," he explained.

There were a few moments of silence as Tavvy considered this. "Well…I guess that would be safer," he murmured.

Bailey smiled, slightly relieved. "It will. Now, this is how we'll—"

But Tavvy hadn't finished voicing his thoughts. "Sure it would be safer, but it'd also take a lot of time, wouldn't it? If I fight all of them and keep them busy for a while, you could just go in and rescue all of the rich people."

Bailey fell over, even though he was already sitting down. From his uncomfortable position on the ground, he stared incredulously up at Tavvy. "Are you an _idiot_?" he screeched. "There's no guarantee that every one of those thugs will come rushing out to fight you! What's more, even if every single member of the Magnus Troop decides to go beat up some random kid, there would be so many that you would be overwhelmed in an instant!"

Tavvy frowned again, though this time, it was a bit deeper. "I told you," he said. "I can take them all!"

"And how exactly do you know that?" shouted Bailey, rising to his feet.

Tavvy also stood up, anger flashing in his bright blue eyes. "Because I'm way stronger than a bunch of rich people's bodyguards!"

"Again, how do you know that for sure? Have you ever battled a bunch of rich people's bodyguards?"

The two stared each other down. Cannoli's eyes narrowed, concern beginning to occupy her mind. How did these two end up on the same team? Surely the person who oversaw the making of the group had considered how well the different members could work with each other. But the two seaman recruits were obviously not on good terms, or at least they weren't at the moment. At a very crucial moment.

"You're underestimating me!" Tavvy growled. Both his arms were tensed, as if he was going to punch something.

Bailey ignored Tavvy's stance and placed a hand on his own chest, taken aback. "I'm _underestimating_ you? Seriously mate, you are _overestimating_ yourself!"

"You're just jealous that I'm stronger than you! You just don't want me to show off my power while you can only watch!"

And that's when Bailey snapped. "Shut up! You're just an overblown idiot!" he snarled, removing the rings from his fingers and hurling them at Tavvy. The heavy first ring hit Tavvy, who was caught completely off guard by the sudden attack, square in the forehead.

Tavvy took a few quick steps backwards to avoid another swing by Bailey. "What? I already beat you up once!" he shouted, crossing his arms with a huff. "But, hey! If you want to get beat up again, that's fine with me."

Cannoli rubbed her temples and decided there must have been a mistake when the two were assigned on such a mission. Of course, the official objective of finding a missing princess hadn't been anything hazardous, but why had two seaman recruits been sent to do a noble's bidding? Seaman recruits were…well, seaman recruits. The lowest rank of the Marines.

The princess turned her attention away from the quarreling boys and happened to glance upwards. She saw someone fall from a window of the castle and land in the bushes of the garden.

"Oh, dear."

The person who had just fallen scrambled out of the flattened shrubbery and straightened his tie indignantly. He realized Cannoli was staring at him. He also realized Tavvy and Bailey were staring at him, the two having abandoned their argument to gawk at the strange sight.

"What?" Greneland demanded, picking a few leaves from his hair. He cast a disapproving glance at Tavvy and Bailey. "Well, fancy meeting you two here."

"Hey," said Tavvy, blinking a few times. He pointed at Greneland. "That guy just fell from a window."

Bailey raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, I saw."

The seaman recruits stood there for a while in silence. Then they slowly turned to each other and said, "I wonder what happened."

~a few minutes ago~

"Where do you think you're taking me, you outrageously scarred low-class gorilla? I command you to release me this instant!" Greneland wanted to go home to his cozy palace back at Rappelar. A palace where there weren't people prodding guns into his back.

The scarred man didn't say anything. In fact, he hadn't said anything at all during the time he had been prodding his gun into Greneland's back.

Greneland felt another poke and took another step. "You're the first one I will annihilate once I tell my father about all of you!" he threatened. Then he seemed to reconsider. "No, you'll be the last! I'll make you watch the deaths of all your little partners in crime before finally ending your life!"

Scar-face didn't respond. He continued to usher Greneland along.

"I said let me go, you—" Greneland broke off to ponder what he should say. He was running out of insults and death threats. Talking to the man was like talking to a wall. Greneland received almost no reaction besides a faint smile and another sharp jab into his back.

Suddenly, the scar-faced man opened a door and shoved Greneland through. The World Noble's son stumbled forward across a lavish bedroom with a very pretty carpet. However, before Greneland could take the time to admire the carpet, another powerful shove propelled him towards a large open window looking out over the castle's gardens.

"Wait!" Greneland shrieked, but one last blow caused him to tumble down from the window. His surroundings blended into a single spread of scenery as he fell. And it was a long, four-story fall. Luckily, there were some very springy bushes underneath to break his fall. Nothing broke, snapped, or otherwise was damaged…besides his wonderful hairstyle (and his pride).

The scarred man turned away from the window and headed out of the room. He rounded a corner and crashed into another person. They both sat down heavily on the floor from the force of the collision.

"Ow," groaned the other person, rubbing his forehead gingerly. "Watch where you're going!"

The scar-faced man blinked. "Tundra?" he exclaimed, hopping to his feet.

Commodore Tundra looked up hesitantly. "Umm…yeah. Who are you?" He accepted the hand of the other man and stood up unsteadily.

"So you don't remember me? Come on, Tundra. Your memory can't be _that_ bad."

Tundra scratched the back of his head. He couldn't find anything to say, since he honestly could not remember this person.

The scarred man rubbed his eyes as he noticed Tundra's confusion. "No way. You really don't remember me." He tapped his chin thoughtfully, then seemed to come to a revelation. "Oh! It's because of this, isn't it?" He pointed to his face.

At this point, Tundra was a little worried. He was talking to a crazy person. Tundra wasn't very fond of crazy people. His worry grew even more as the man in front of him peeled off his face. The commodore jerked backwards, completely unnerved by the spectacle before him. But then, he recognized the newly revealed face of the man. "Oh, it's just Daca Narvey."

Tears welled up in the eyes of the previously scar-faced man. "What do you mean, _just_ Daca Narvey? You're so mean, Tundra!" And he ran away with his face in his hands.

After a few shocked moments, Tundra shrugged. "What a weird guy." He walked down the hallway and opened a door. "Hmm, that's not the coffee room." He closed the door and tried the next one.

~with Tavvy, Bailey, Greneland, and Princess Cannoli~

"Your plan is ridiculous. Do you really expect to achieve anything with such a horrible strategy?"

A vein bulged near Bailey's temple. "Do you have any better ideas?"

Greneland sniffed and straightened his tie for the twelfth time in two minutes. "Yes. Call for reinforcements, obviously."

Bailey let out a long, tired sigh. "Okay, look. It takes at least seven hours for ships to arrive from our base. By that time, it's likely that we will have already been found and killed by some haughty nobles," he explained, trying to keep his voice level.

"We'll just hide for the time being," countered Greneland.

"Let's fight all of them head on!" suggested Tavvy.

"No! We've already been through this!" Bailey hissed venomously. "We are going to sneak in and take care of the Magnus Troop one by one."

Greneland sneered. "And who put you in charge? If I recall correctly, I am the team leader now."

Cannoli was reading a book while laying on her back on the bench. The moonlight allowed her to see the small text clearly. The gentle sound of rustling paper comforted her ears and the smell of an old book had always managed to take her mind off other things. And so she read, ignoring the bickering Marines.

"You're not the team leader! That's Tun-san!" Tavvy said.

"Well, that moronic amnesiac was eaten by a Sea King."

Tavvy set his hands on his hips. "Tun-san can take care of a Sea King easily! Tun-san's super strong!" he shouted defensively.

"And yet, he was eaten by a Sea King," Greneland said in a concluding tone. "I have trouble following your logic, oh inferior one."

Bailey sat down on a flowerbed. Once again, he attempted to reason with his supposed team mates. "My plan is the most efficient and effective way to rescue all the hostages and deal with the Magnus Troop," he said. Of course, this was followed by loud protest from both Tavvy and Greneland.

"The best way is to get all of the bad guys out!" argued Tavvy. "And now we have three people, so that's even better!"

"Senseless battle is not a good option," Greneland said, angrily brushing a few strands of oily black hair from his eyes. "We don't need to engage in violence when there's a risk of losing. We have a way to contact the base, so we can call for help. When help arrives, help will solve the problem. Then we go home happy. Is that simple enough for you two?"

Tavvy rounded on Greneland. "What about the rich people inside? They're all scared and stuff. What if those Mag-guys get angry and hurt them?"

"What if I get angry and hurt you?" snapped Greneland.

"Yeah? Try it, Greenland!"

"It's Greneland!"

"Shut up!" Bailey bellowed. "I'm going to do it my way! If you two can't agree with me, then I'll do it by myself!"

Tavvy gnashed his teeth. "Fine! You do it your way! I'll do it my way!"

Greneland flourished his hand dismissively. "If you two plan on moving along with your horrendous tactics, then I might as well use my own glorious one!" He pointed at Tavvy. "Give me your mini-mini den den mushi!"

Tavvy backed away. "No way."

Frustrated, Greneland turned to Bailey. "Give me your mini-mini den den mushi!"

"You must be joking, mate."

At that point, Greneland realized he had no way of executing his own plan. He didn't even know the number of the base if he managed to find another den den mushi to use. He cursed under his breath and planted himself on a bench, arms crossed in a defeated manner.

Tavvy and Bailey eyed each other warily.

"Our different plans can't both work," Bailey noted. "This is your last chance to back off, Tavvy."

Tavvy almost laughed. "You wish! My plan is gonna work. You'll see!"

Bailey rolled his eyes. "Do what you want, but I'll be the one to succeed." He swung his string of rings experimentally, then ducked into the shadows, padding off to the castle.

"Sure!" Tavvy grinned. When Bailey had left his sight, he turned and scowled. "Yeah, right." After waving to Cannoli, he headed towards the front gate of the castle.

Cannoli nodded at the young Marine and flipped the page. When she reached about halfway down the opposing page, she noticed Greneland move. "Oh? You plan on accompanying them?" she asked, mildly surprised.

Greneland grunted. He did not meet the eye of the princess who had so bluntly insulted him. "There is nothing else I can do. If they seem to be in trouble, I will try to help."

His words brought a smile to Cannoli's lips. As Greneland disappeared around a corner, she slowly closed her book and sat upright on the bench. She took out a notebook and a pen from underneath a rock and began to write in elegant cursive. After jotting down a few things, she clapped the notebook shut. She rose to her feet and began a leisurely stroll. Her destination was also Ravioli Castle.

~with Tavvy~

Tavvy burst through the doors and stomped down a random hallway, shouting, "I AM SEAMAN RECRUIT TAVVY! COME AND FIGHT ME!" To his disappointment, no one rushed out to meet him.

He continued to move through the castle, making as much noise as possible. He met not a single soul. Confused, Tavvy eventually stopped and looked around. A large painting caught his interest. It was of a man wearing a brightly colored mask. The man seemed very realistic. He looked three-dimensional. Then, the man's arm moved from its previous position at his side. In his hand was a gun.

Tavvy had no time to react. A dart penetrated his shoulder and a large hand grasped the collar of his shirt as he stumbled to the ground, the world spinning around him. Then, something hit him on the head and everything went black.

~with Bailey~

Bailey knew something was wrong. He had infiltrated the castle through the rear door that he had meticulously unlocked with a paperclip. Upon entering, he had heard the clamor of Tavvy's shouting, but that was the strange part. The loud noises all came from Tavvy and only Tavvy. There were no signs of fighting at all.

Uneasy, Bailey pressed onwards, creeping through the halls with great caution. He slipped from doorframe to doorframe, hiding behind gigantic potted plants and elaborately decorated urns. After about four minutes of this, Bailey arrived at an intersection without any cover. Just when he was about to take a step, he heard Tavvy's ruckus cease. He froze.

The silence was overwhelming. Bailey was sure his heartbeat could be heard a mile away. His breathing was far too loud for his liking. In panic, he hastily stepped forward. His heart pounded even louder as a groaning creak escaped from the wooden floorboards underneath his foot. Seconds passed, Bailey straining his ears in search for anything to indicate he had been heard. Finally he relaxed and let out the breath he had been subconsciously holding. He relaxed too soon.

"I thought I heard something. So it was another Marine."

Bailey whirled around at the sound of the strong, muffled voice, and stared in fright at the extremely tall with—could it be?—_Tavvy_ slung over his shoulder. The man raised a gun. Too stunned to react, Bailey felt something pierce his skin. His vision began to blur.

"This sucks," he murmured before collapsing onto the ground unconscious.

~with Greneland~

Greneland bit his lip. He had been waiting just inside the front doors of Ravioli Castle in case he needed to depart quickly. A growing sense of dread had developed in the bottom of his stomach.

He had heard the telltale signs of Tavvy rampaging through the castle, shouting and stomping like a madman. He had also noticed the abrupt silence of the young Marine without any sounds of a skirmish. Tavvy's plan had failed.

From Tavvy's loud stomping, Greneland learned that the castle's structure transmitted sounds easily. Knowing this, he realized if Bailey had encountered anyone, there would have been at least a small amount of noise. And he _had_ heard some noise: a loud creak followed by the thud of something, or someone, falling to the ground. Bailey's plan had failed.

There were really only two basic options he could choose. He could run and hide, or he could act heroic and try to save the two imbeciles. So Greneland had pondered and after his pondering, he had reached a conclusion. A very unappealing conclusion.

The doors to the ballroom loomed before him, daring him to open them and step through. They seemed to jeer at him with their ornate embellishments and solid sturdiness, knowing he lacked the latter at the moment. He wanted to turn back. Running would have been safer. He would have eventually found help and put an end to the whole mess. On the other hand, recklessly charging into danger usually ended in death or serious injury. There wasn't even any indication that the seaman recruits were still alive. The more Greneland thought about, the more he wanted to run.

Yes, he made up his mind. He would run…forward. Greneland pushed the doors open. They glided on their hinges without a single squeak.

King Ravioli and Queen Lasagna sat on a golden couch in the center of the ballroom. Servants peeled grapes and gently placed them inside the mouths of the royal couple. Members of the Magnus Troop milled around, looking as bored as cardboard. Bursun stood dutifully near the king and queen, hands clasped behind his back. Thick, coarse ropes bound a drowsy-looking Tavvy and an alert, super-angry Bailey to one of several marble columns supporting the ceiling of the ballroom.

All eyes turned to Greneland as the doors revealed his presence. The lieutenant gulped. "Oops. Sorry, I mistook this for the…umm…coffee room?" Coffee room? He was turning into that idiot commodore!

Before Greneland could turn around and flee, rough hands grabbed him and pinned him to the ground. His hands and feet were bound.

"How nice of you to join the party, _Prince_ Greneland," said King Ravioli in his rumbling baritone. "Of course, now you can stop pretending."

"Pretending?" Greneland asked as he was yanked to his feet. "What are you talking about?"

The king laughed. "I have to hand it to you; pretending to be a World Noble takes guts," he said, slinging an arm around Queen Lasagna's shoulders.

Greneland's eyes narrowed. "You, my dull-witted friend, are stupid! You dare laugh at my superior blood?"

"What superior blood? If you are a true World Noble, then why do you choose to breathe commoner's air? What are doing in East Blue? Why are you even in the Marines? Evidently, you did not do much research before assuming such a role."

"I am not a World Noble," Greneland said, a smirk playing on his lips despite his situation. "I am a World Noble's _son_."

His words obviously confused everyone in the room, but the king did not dwell on the matter. "You insist on keeping up this false identity? Fine." King Ravioli sighed. "Tie him up with the other two," he ordered.

Once Greneland had been situated in between Tavvy and Bailey, the two younger Marines glared at him.

"Nice job getting caught," Bailey muttered bitterly.

"You stole Tun-san's phrase," Tavvy accused.

Greneland ignored them. He was more concerned about what would happen if he were actually killed. His father would cause a storm. The entirety of East Blue would be in danger at that point.

King Ravioli accepted a glass of dark red wine from a servant. He took a dainty sip and smiled widely. "Bursun," he called to large man.

"Yes, your majesty?"

"Send out the ransom message to the Marine bases and the noble families of the surrounding islands. I trust you remember the amount?"

Bursun bowed his masked head. "Yes." He signaled to one of his men, who handed him a den den mushi. Just as he was about to pick up the receiver, the snail rang. Bursun answered the call. "Argunto? What's wrong?"

"Mr. Bursun! We're in trouble! Oh, shit. MARINES, MR. BURSUN! MARINES! Please, just ru—" The call ended abruptly, the snail falling asleep.

An uncomfortable silence fell upon the room.

"What are we going to do, Mr. Bursun?" one of the Magnus Troop asked quietly.

King Ravioli flung his glass of wine at the man who had just spoken. "Fight them, obviously! That's what I hired you for! Now, go out and get rid of those Marines!" he commanded, pointing towards the double doors.

And then, those double doors burst open with such force that they cracked, splintered and fell off their hinges. A tall man with spiky hair peered into the room.

"Oops. Sorry, I mistook this for the coffee room."

* * *

><p>Damn, I wanted to wrap up this arc in this chapter, but then it got too long. Whatever, you'll just have to wait to see Tundra in action.<p>

So, looks like the Marine trio is in trouble, but not for long! Tundra to the rescue... or not? And who could these attacking Marines be? WILL OUR BELOVED COMMODORE EVER FIND THE COFFEE ROOM? Those questions (except for the last) will be answered in the next Tavvy chapter!

Also, where have we seen someone peel off their face before? This just might be important later on. *hint hint*

Alright, look forward to some Sammy action next chappie! Thanks for reading, all of you!

*Note: OCs are no longer accepted due to changes in the guidelines. I'm not sure why, but I don't want this story to be removed (and hopefully neither do you), so I have taken down the OC submission form.


	25. Target Arc: Great cannonballs!

~Sammy~

Sammy grinned as he heard his own voice echo off the town's buildings. The bells in the belfry had also captured his sound, ringing with a fading, "Kay?" He waited for a while, watching as the sun's evening rays gradually disappeared from the sky. Perhaps half an hour passed before Sammy began to worry. The sky was now a deep purple. Where was Noelle? She sure was slow. Maybe she had bumped into some trouble.

"Well, I know she can take care of it!" Sammy said to himself, flashing another grin. His stomach growled and the grin faded. "Damnit! I'm hungry." The young pirate captain sighed heavily. He walked over to a corner and sat down with a tired groan. "Hurry up, Noelle…" he whined.

~with Noelle~

She had heard it, alright. She was pretty sure everyone had heard it. She knew who had shouted that and in all sincerity, despite the obnoxious person who was surely waiting impatiently for her arrival, she would have liked to go to the clock tower. The problem? She was a bit occupied at the moment.

"I remember that voice. What was his name? Oh, right. Joker D. Samuel."

Noelle didn't answer. She sipped on her drink.

After a long stretch of silence, the person across from her spoke again. "Oh, so you think you're funny, huh?"

Noelle blinked. "I didn't even say anything."

"No, no. I wasn't talking to you." Her companion pointed in the direction of another customer at the bar. "That guy. He's trying to pick a fight."

Noelle rolled her eyes. "He's eating a sandwich. He can't even hear you."

The person snorted. "That's what you think, but I can just _feel_ his itch to fight." He unwrapped a few pieces of brightly colored hard candy and tossed them into the air, catching them in his mouth with lax expertise. With his head tilted back, his auburn hair tumbled to the side to reveal his icy blue eyes.

"Are you sure that's not just your own 'itch to fight'?"

Her companion's head lowered and his hair settled back over his eyes. "Haa…no. He might be eating a sandwich, but he's been observing us this whole time. After all, we're his targets." The last sentence was followed by a most delighted smile.

Noelle had to physically restrain herself from punching the life out of this weirdo. First of all, she hadn't forgotten her first encounter with the pirate captain and his psycho crab of a crewmate. Secondly, he had almost gotten her killed by "accidentally" pushing her into the path of a runaway cart. Third, he had apologized politely (too politely) and carried her to a bar _on his shoulders._ And lastly, he was making her pay the bill, even though she only had forty-two beli.

"He thinks he's clever, he does," said the idiot, tapping his chin thoughtfully. "Eating a sandwich? Ha! I know just what he's up to."

Noelle studied the man eating his sandwich. He looked normal enough. Brown hair, brown eyes, simple polo shirt and khakis, a decent appetite. Nothing to suggest he was hunting them down. Of course, looks could be deceiving, as Noelle had learned earlier. That vendor who had offered to sell her some meat at half price? He had tried to blast her head off with a miniature canon. That nice lady who had given her free samples of her new hand lotion? She had tried to stab her with a silver dagger. This was more than a weird town. These people were all…

"Assassins, Skorp! Tauris just led a whole bunch of them this way!" shouted a psycho crab, bursting through the door of the bar and panting heavily.

The man who had been eating a sandwich jumped up in surprise, dropping his sandwich. Recovering a bit, he pulled out a sword.

"Good job, Kanser!" said Skorpio, hopping to his feet. The loose fabric of his black kimono flapped around him as an unnatural wind gushed through the bar. An image of a snarling, golden dragon rippled on his back with the moving air. "Run along and tell Pysces and Cross to come over and join the fun."

Kanser tried to leave, but the Sandwich Man barred his path. "Y'er a target," rumbled the assassin.

Kanser drew back his hand. It transformed into a crab claw and jabbed the Sandwich Man in the stomach, then in the eye, then in the jaw. Kanser finished him off with a sharp knee to the crotch. The Sandwich Man slipped to the ground, eyes watering in pain.

"Kanser disagrees. You are Kanser's target."

"Okey…got it."

Kanser exited the bar, but not before glaring at Noelle and hissing, "You still owe Kanser a glass of spicy ginger milk with diced strawberries!"

"I'll keep that in mind," Noelle responded, subconsciously counting how many pimples there were on the psycho crab's chin. She lost count at around twenty-three. Or was it twenty-five?

As soon as Kanser left, Skorpio turned to the rest of the ten occupants of the bar and extended his arms as if hugging something very large and round. "Come at me, everyone! Just try to bring me down!"

They all complied. Guns were produced from behind table. Swords were drawn from hidden sheathes. A lawn ornament flamingo was raised in an intimidating manner. Then the chaos began. A bulky, six-foot tall man with randomly spiked brown hair rushed into the bar. He grabbed Skorpio and Noelle under his arms, then rushed out to the street where a horde of around thirty more armed people were waiting.

"You know, Skorpio," said the man who still lifted the weight of both Skorpio and Noelle with ease. He looked as if he had been running all day, his dark tan skin gleaming with sweat. "There are lot of them and only, uh…one, two, three…three of us."

Skorpio did not seem concerned. "You mean six, counting Pysces, Cross, and Kanser," he corrected. "And put me down, Tauris. This is embarrassing."

Tauris obliged and let both Skorpio and Noelle thud to the ground. In the same second, he kicked away some advancing attackers. Sensing an attacker from behind, he turned and sent a heavy fist flying into someone's face. That someone wasn't too happy about that.

"That hurt," said the teenage boy who had just been hit. He calmly felt his nose to see if it was broken. After finding his nose safely intact, he glared at Tauris with golden brown eyes. His hair had been shaved down to dense fuzz on one side of his head, but the other side was a tangled mess of black locks accented with golden highlights. Strapped to his back was a large cross made of white stone. It was the same height as himself and the words _NULLI SECUNDUS _had been chiseled vertically into the stone.

"Sorry, Cross," Tauris mumbled, hanging his head in shame. He dug into his pocket and produced a yellow smiley face sticker. He peeled it off and gently stuck it onto his crewmate's black leather jacket. "All better?"

The smiley face continued to smile in a rather creepy manner. Cross stared at it in horror. "It's the thought that counts, I suppose," he finally murmured, his tone sullen. He managed to tear his gaze away from the sticker to gaze forlornly at his rusty-red boots.

A loud shout erupted from down the street. "WAHOO! WATCH OUT FOR THOSE CANONBALLS, SKOR-PI-OOOO!" howled a long-haired figure riding on a motorbike. Several other motorbikes with angry assassins followed in hot pursuit.

"Oh no! Pysces went Aquario on us!" shrieked Tauris. He looked around frantically. "And they even fired cannonballs? Skorpio, do something!"

But Skorpio was laughing. Maybe he thought the dozen or so steel orbs hurtling through the air contained jokes or something. Really explosive jokes. "This is where the fun begins! Can you feel the fun, Tauris?" he shouted, twirling around in circles with his arms waving in the air.

"No, I can't feel the fun!"

Skorpio stopped spinning for a moment. "Well, uh…can't help you there." Then he resumed his twirling with a maniacal grin.

Cross had busied himself with fighting off aggressors by swinging his cross around like a baseball bat, knocking people off their feet and sending them flying. Already, the snow-white stone was slick with crimson. The cross was merciless, smashing, bashing, and crushing multiple enemies in one sweep. It moved in graceful arcs, the user handling it effortlessly.

Meanwhile, the cannonballs grew visually larger as they neared. The first embedded itself into the street, hitting no one. The second and third crashed into buildings. The fourth barely missed Tauris and instead took down his opponent. The fifth also doomed an assassin, but the sixth was right on course for the captain of the Constellar Pirates.

Skorpio stared at the incoming projectile, his gleaming eyes hidden behind a mangled fringe of auburn hair. He raised a finger at the cannonball and wagged it tauntingly. "Sit down! **Zabuton**!" The steel ball suddenly stopped, only a foot or two from Skorpio's outstretched hand. It fell harmlessly to the paved ground, all its momentum lost.

The seventh cannonball created a crater in the road directly in front of the motorcyclist. With no time to swerve around, the rider was launched into the air along with the bike. Excited shouting could be heard as the figure flew, long, golden hair streaming behind.

"Oh, damn!" shouted Skorpio. "Tauris, go catch Aquario!"

Tauris's jaw dropped in shock. "Why me?" he called over the clamor of battle.

"Because you're the farthest away from her!" Skorpio replied, pulling an innocent smile. "Anyways, captain's orders! Do as you're told!" He then turned his attention to Cross. "Cross, got any weapons I can use?"

Cross shook his head. "Nope! Sorry, Skorp!" He threw his cross to his left side, wiping out four unlucky souls who were too slow to evade the stone missile. A chain connecting the top of the cross to his wrist forced Cross to sprint after his weapon.

Skorpio dodged a few swipes from an assailant. "Kanser! Where are you? I need a weapon!"

Seemingly out of nowhere, Kanser appeared with a wakizashi in hand. "Here you go. Kanser just got this from a nearby shop," said the crab, extending the sword to his captain.

"Did you buy it?" Skorpio asked, cautiously eying the weapon.

"No. Kanser forcibly removed it from the shop."

"Great! Good work, Kanser."

Both whirled around at the sound of someone crying out in pain right behind them. A slender, clean-shaven man collapsed. The tip of a kitchen knife was visible in the center of a growing spot of blood.

"Thank you," said Skorpio, bowing graciously to Noelle.

"Keep your thanks. I was just taking care of a nuisance," growled Noelle, her red eyes flashing. She yanked her knife from her victim's back. "But you should pay attention to what's going on around you."

Skorpio spat out what little remained of the candy he had been sucking on into the face of the person with the flamingo lawn ornament. He grasped the sword from Kanser's hand and in one swift motion, slashed the blade across his opponent's throat. "I'll take your advice to heart, Miss Noelle." He stabbed another person through the heart as he spoke.

"WAHOO! THAT WAS FUUUUN!" shouted a young woman currently standing on Tauris's shoulders. She had a wild look in her stormy, blue-gray eyes. Her hair whipped around her face as she howled into the wind. "LET'S DO IT AGAAAAIN!"

"NO!" Tauris vehemently protested.

Immediately, the woman pouted. She leapt to the ground and crossed her arms, refusing to look at the muscular man. "Taur-is-oooo, you're no fun at all! At least try to feel the fun!"

"I can't feel the fun!"

"WHAAAAT? WHY CAN'T YOU JUST FEEL THE FUN?" the woman screamed, furious. She stomped her foot angrily and threw a mini temper tantrum, yanking on her hair and cursing at her crewmate.

Skorpio hurried over to the two and faced the blond-haired woman. He put his hands on her shoulders. "Don't worry, Aquario! I feel the fun!" he said in a reassuring voice.

"Kanser also feels the fun!" Kanser said with a dutiful expression.

"I feel the fun as well!" called Cross, hefting his bloodstained cross into the air. His mouth fell open in dismay as he noticed the sticker still stuck securely to his jacket, undisturbed by battle.

Skorpio turned expectantly to Noelle. "Do you feel the fun?" he inquired, a sparkle lighting up his eyes. He jumped up and down excitedly.

"I'm not going to answer that," Noelle said, flicking a bead of blood from her cheek. She ducked as a silvery blade sliced the air where her neck had been half a second earlier. She elbowed the person behind her in the ribs, spun around, and stuck both kitchen knives into the assailant's chest.

"You're good with knives," Skorpio noted.

"I'm a chef. What do you expect?"

"Food, of course!"

Skorpio never saw it coming. The fist had already slammed into his head before he even knew he had angered the silver-haired chef.

After beating the auburn-haired boy into the ground, Noelle realized the battle had already concluded. The assassins who had attacked were either dead, unconscious, or had fled. Most of the damage had been dealt by Cross and his cross. Pysces (or was it Aquario?) was still yelling at Tauris, who had his ears firmly plugged with two fingers. Kanser tried desperately to dig out his captain from the ground. Finally, the last of the sun's rays had faded behind the horizon.

Kanser managed to yank Skorpio free. The latter lay sprawled in the middle of the street, staring blankly up at the dark sky. After a while, he bounced to his feet in one swift motion and clapped his hands together with a satisfying smack. "That was fun, crew! Now, let's go to the clock tower and have a party!"

The Constellar Pirates all roared in approval. However, Noelle had other opinions.

"Hell, no!" Noelle turned away from the disorderly crew. "Get lost. I don't need even more weird people in my life."

"Wait, what? I want to see Joker D. Samuel again! We have loads to talk about!"

"_No_."

"You're a mean one, Miss Noelle."

"Do I look like I care?"

No response.

"Look up there!" exclaimed Cross, pointing to the clock tower. "Someone's going to commit suicide!"

~with Sammy~

Sammy was not committing suicide. He knew perfectly well what he was doing when he jumped from the belfry, and it was not suicide. If he had wanted to commit suicide, there were flashier ways to do so. Besides, he had no reason to commit suicide. So why would he jump off a tall building? For the fun of it! Duh!

"What? Is that kid crazy? We try to kill him and he jumps instead?"

Well, he jumped for the fun and to escape the assassins who had blundered in on his nap. Sammy had grown so tired of waiting for Noelle that he had fallen asleep. When the assassins had burst into the belfry, waking him instantly, he made one of those quick decisions all sea-ready pirate captains would make.

"This is like flying!" Sammy yelled. He let out a scream of exhilaration before crash-landing on the stall selling fabrics at the base of the tower. He separated himself from the mess he had made with only a few scrapes and bruises to show for it. "Lucky me," he remarked as he jogged away cheerfully. "It's a good thing that stand was selling carpets and not kitchen knives!"

He wandered the streets, calling out for Noelle. People stared at him oddly as he passed by. One particular person stopped him. He rested under a large tent where two other people were forging iron pots and tools.

"Hey, you there!"

Sammy turned at the sound of the voice and bowed politely. "Hi! I'm looking for my crewmate! She has silver hair and red eyes and is really, really short!" he said.

The person stood and walked towards Sammy. He had a menacing air around him. His muscle-bound arms, nurtured through years of striking hot metal, were covered in tattoos. A grimy white bandana kept the hair from his eyes. "You're not from this town, I see."

"Yeah, we're just passing through," Sammy replied. "By the way, have you seen my ship? It's called the _King Dan's Payback_. It has a dragon head and my flag on it and—"

"You should leave," the blacksmith said, not even slightly hesitant at interrupting Sammy's speech.

Sammy frowned. "Why?"

The blacksmith gestured vaguely with his hand. "This half of the island is under the rule of the Blood Berry Pirates from North Blue. Their captain is a D-list with a bounty of thirty-two million beli."

Sammy shrugged indifferently. "So?"

There were a few moments of staring from the craftsman before he grunted and retreated back to his tent. "They've probably already made you a target. You're dead, kid," he said.

"Me? Dead?" Sammy laughed heartily. "You sure are funny, mister!" With a wide smile still plastered to his face, he marched off, humming merrily.

The man scowled. That scowl would become permanent as a thin blade sliced into his heart from behind.

~with Noelle and the Constellar Pirates~

"WAHOO! RUN FASTER, TAUR-IS-OOOO!"

Tauris was sweating like a monsoon. He desperately needed water.

"FASTER! FAAAASTER!"

Tauris skidded to a halt. "You're heavy, Aquario! Why can't you walk on your own?" he complained loudly.

"Onwards, Taur-is-oooo! I want to see the suicide guy!"

"But you're heavy!"

"I don't CAAAARE! Hurry up, Taur-is-oooo!"

Noelle clasped her ears in agony. This incessant shouting was going to drive her mad.

"Stop being such a spoilsport, Tauris!" Skorpio called as he pranced along the sidewalk. With each step, his geta-clad feet smacked into the ground, creating an infuriatingly annoying sound.

"S-sticker," Cross stammered, trying to remove the sticker on his jacket without touching it. His attempts proved futile. "Get it off! Get it off!"

"Let Kanser help!" Kanser ended up stabbing his crewmate in the chest with a crab claw.

Cross howled in pain. "Stop it!" he cried as Kanser made to try again.

"Hold still! Kanser will remove the sticker."

"No! Get away from me!" Cross glanced down at the sticker and immediately paled. "Too…smiley…" He tipped over and fainted on the spot.

Kanser turned to Skorpio with a grave face. "Cross has fallen, Skorp."

"Yes, I can see that." Skorpio stood still and scratched his chin. Over a minute went by as he simply stood there, thinking. His crew members waited patiently, but Noelle grew more and more irritated by the second. Her mood didn't improve as another pirate captain appeared from around the bend just a yard or two away.

"There you are! I'm starving, Noelle! Make me food!"

Noelle waited until Sammy drew closer, then aimed a solid punch into his gut. "Eat that."

"Ow!" Sammy rubbed his stomach, which ached with the pains of both hunger and forceful impact. He took a second to stare at his crewmate. "What happened, Noelle? You're covered in blood."

"I fought with assassins," Noelle answered, glancing back to the section of the street riddled with the destruction of cannonballs.

Sammy nodded. "Oh, I see…was it 'cause they called you a midget?"

Noelle's eyes blazed. She gripped one of her kitchen knives so tightly that her knuckles turned white. "Do you know what's on today's menu?" she asked in a quiet voice.

The spiky-haired pirate captain shook his head, confused with the sudden change of subject. "No. How would I know what's on the menu?"

"_YOU_!" Noelle screeched, pointing her knife threateningly at Sammy. "You'll be on the menu once I roast you over hellfire!"

"HELP! SOME CRAZY MIDGET GIRL IS TRYING TO KILL ME!"

~somewhere in town~

"They defeated all of you?" The voice that spoke those words was cold and menacing. It originated from a figure slouching in an armchair backed with green leather. His face was hidden in the shadows created by the several gas lamps situated around him. Next to the chair, a man with a droopy face and incredibly long eyelashes stood with a cigarette dangling from his mouth. He wore a sweater vest over a dark purple dress shirt and stark white trousers. The two men resided in the only furnished corner of a large, warehouse-like room. Above, large skylights provided a clear view of the night sky.

Another man, shabbily dressed with a large scrape across his cheek, stood awkwardly in front of the armchair. He wrung his hands nervously and kept shifting his weight from foot to foot. His voice was small and timid when he answered. "Y-yes. They were very strong. We d-didn't stand a chance."

The owner of the first voice gently peeled the light blue skin off a small fruit resembling a lychee. He slipped the fruit into his mouth and crushed it between his teeth, drops of juice splattering anything within range. "And you ran?" His frigid voice took on a jagged edge.

"It's like I s-said, capt'n," the injured man mumbled feebly. "We didn't stand a chance."

After a few moments of unbearable silence, the captain of the Blood Berry Pirates smirked. "That's good judgment on your part, then. Men who stand their ground foolishly don't deserve a spot in my crew."

The injured man smiled in relief. "T-thank y—"

"However, you still failed to kill the targets. Sorry, Tenhu, but failures also don't belong in my crew."

The man with the long eyelashes smiled with faint pity as he held up a golden pistol. Poor Tenhu could only gape in terror as the bullet penetrated his brain from between his eyes.

The seated captain used his thumb to wipe the juice from his lips and deliberately licked his finger, relishing the taste of the sticky, sweet liquid. "Rest in peace, Tenhu. You were quite useful while you lasted."

* * *

><p>Yep. Chapter 25. I have achieved silver.<p>

The Constellar Pirates make their grand entrance in full! As you all know, their names and some of their characteristics are based off constellations. They've also been made into 'targets' but what does that mean anyways? What is the motive behind the Blood Berry Pirates' actions?

Alrihgt, this whole story is by far the longest piece of continuous writing I have ever done, so I'm really proud of myself. To celebrate a quarter of a hundred chapters, I feel like writing a one-shot about either Marie and Kokie, the Constellar Pirates, Tundra, or Boss. There's a poll on my profile page where you can vote, or you can just tell me in a review which one you'd like to see. Or you can do both and get two votes...? Or you can not vote at all and make me feel dumb for even suggesting this (—do this)

Okay, then. Next chapter is the conclusion to Tavvy's first mission. How will King Ravioli and Queen Lasgna be stopped? Who will be able to take down the huge Magnus Bursun? WHERE IS THAT COFFEE ROOM!?


	26. Ravioli Island Arc: Brace Yourselves

~Tavvy~

Snapping from his stupor, Tavvy almost jumped up in joy. Sadly, he could not perform this action since he was a bit tied down at the moment. "Tun-san! You're alive?" he shouted excitedly.

Tundra scratched the back of his head. He had changed out of his formal attire, wearing a white fleece sweatshirt with the Marines' insignia on the front and navy blue sweatpants. "Do I look dead to you?"

"No," Tavvy admitted. "But your hair is spiky again!"

"What does that have to do with me being dead or not?" Tundra asked, perplexed by the teenager's complicated logic. He felt his hair self-consciously and confirmed that it was indeed spiky.

Tavvy thought for a moment. "I don't know," he answered honestly.

Still very much confused, Tundra turned his head to look at the perfectly fine set of doors he had just ruined. As he did so, a bullet whizzed by, just a hair's breadth from his face, completely unnoticed by the commodore.

"Those doors look expensive," he remarked, taking a step towards one of them. Several bullets passed through where he had been half a second ago. He then lifted one up and tried to fit it back on its hinges, blocking many bullets in the process. When he realized the door was beyond repair, Tundra set it down…onto a group of men who had been about to attack him.

"Kill him already!" hissed King Ravioli, both hands tightly gripping an armrest of his golden couch.

Tundra blinked. "Oh, I'm really sorry about the doors," he said, quickly moving away from the door he had tried to fix. Another round of shots missed the commodore. Then, he bent down to tie his shoe, causing more bullets to miss their desired target. Tundra straightened and looked at King Ravioli. "Uh…who are you again?"

The king's face had surely turned bright red under the thick makeup he wore. "I am your doom," he responded. "You will die here and now, Commodore Tundra!"

"Huh? How do you know my name? Are you some weird stalker? You look like one." Before the king could respond, Tundra sneezed, his head dipping below the paths of even more bullets. "Damn, someone's talking about me behind my back," he muttered, recovering from the sudden expulsion of air.

"You're going to get shot if you just stand there, Tun-san!" Tavvy reminded, straining against the ropes.

Tundra blinked in surprise. He finally noticed the vast array of firearms pointed straight at him. He recoiled. "You idiot! Why didn't you tell me sooner? I could have gotten shot!" he shouted, tugging on his hair in panic.

Gunshots followed the commodore as he sprinted out of the room at full speed.

"After him!" commanded the king, pointing a quivering finger at the entrance to the ballroom. "Bursun, do your job right!"

Bursun nodded towards a bunch of his men and led them in pursuit of the commodore, leaving only six of his troops behind with the Marine captives and the king and queen.

King Ravioli sank into his couch and breathed a deep sigh. "Can't even kill one measly commodore," he growled darkly.

"Hey," said Bailey, glancing at the two other Marines. "Did that guy just…abandon us?"

Tavvy shook his head violently. "No way! Tun-san is luring them away so that it's easier for us to get free!" he explained.

"Or he's just more interested in saving his own hide," Greneland muttered under his breath.

"Shut up, Greenland! Tun-san isn't some selfish guy like you!"

"It's Greneland!" The proud marine retorted at the defilement of his name.

~with Tundra~

"Damn, they're following me!" Tundra squeaked as he looked behind him to find a gigantic man chasing after him, not to mention the other people with the guns. "Somebody save me!" To the utter dismay of the commodore, no one magically appeared in front of him and fought off his pursuers.

Tundra continued to run through the halls of Ravioli Castle, trying desperately to lose Bursun and his men. He flew up a flight of steps, taking five or six at a time, and continued rushing around frantically. For some reason, no matter how many twists and turns he made, the chasers could track him down. When he stopped for a brief moment to catch his breath, he realized how.

"Damn carpet!" he hissed as the large frame of Magnus Bursun entered his field of vision. Tundra dashed away, scowling at the trail of footprints he left behind in the thick carpet. He clambered up another flight of stairs, aware that his pursuers were close behind.

When he made a sharp turn down one of the smaller corridors, Tundra was greeted by the sight of the gleaming barrels of a dozen or so rifles. He swiveled around, but came face to face with even more menacing guns.

"You'd better hurry up and surrender, Marine!" sneered one of the Magnus Troops.

Tundra raised his arms and slowly backed against a wall. Except it wasn't a wall. Suddenly, he threw himself backwards, knocking down the solid oak door and rolling to his feet. He seemed to have entered a storage room for chairs and other bits of furniture, which didn't really matter as long as there was an exit besides the door he had just broken.

The members of the Magnus Troop flooded into the room, peeking under the various chairs and throwing open closets. Bursun immediately noticed the open window and poked his head outside. Through the window, he could see clearly all the way to the harbor. There were no signs of the commodore.

Bursun withdrew his head and signaled to his men, who left the room with curt nods. The troop leader hid behind a stack of chairs large enough to conceal his massive form and waited. After exactly one minute, a pair of feet slowly lowered into view just outside the window. Tundra carefully clambered back into the storage room with a sigh of relief. The relief was short-lived.

A soft click was followed by the words, "Don't move, and I won't shoot."

Tundra nearly jumped out the window in surprise. He recovered from the initial shock and felt his heartbeat slow to its normal pace. "Don't startle me like that!" he snapped, slightly angry now.

Bursun was a bit puzzled by the lack of urgency in the commodore's behavior. Surely the Marine realized he was at a disadvantage, what with him being defenseless and Bursun holding a gun.

"I really hate surprises," Tundra muttered, scratching the back of his head. "And it's been a really awful day…and this place doesn't even have a coffee room." He had already forgotten the presence of the masked man. Complaining was much more important at this point. "And I can't find my cane! I'm going to get killed if he finds out I lost another one."

Bursun wasn't sure of what to do. It didn't feel right to shoot a person who was just standing there and talking to himself. Then again, this was an experienced commodore, so maybe he was acting?

Tundra finally re-noticed the super-sized man with the gun. He recoiled violently, frighteningly close to falling out the window again. "What the hell? Have you been standing there the whole time?" he asked, completely unnerved.

"Yes, I have," Bursun replied with instinctive politeness.

"Idiot! Why didn't you tell me? You scared the shit outta me!"

Bursun really didn't know how to respond to that.

"And stop pointing that gun at me! Don't you know those things are dangerous?"

Again, instinct made Bursun want to lower the gun, but he hesitated. That lapse of concentration would cost him several broken bones in the very near future.

In the small moment the hesitation had granted him, Tundra lunged forward, and grabbed Bursun's wrist, twisting the gun out of his grasp. Bursun responded by shoving the Marine with both arms. Tundra stumbled back with the sheer force of the blow, but managed to grip one of Bursun's arms, causing the masked man to teeter towards him. With the disruption of the larger man's balance, Tundra crouched down and flung his opponent over his head and out the window.

Tundra straightened. "Well, that was—" A huge hand clasped firmly onto his sleeve. Tundra yelped as he found himself hurtling towards the ground headfirst with a humongous weight pulling him down. He yanked his sleeve free from Bursun's fingers, righted himself so that his feet were pointed downwards, and rammed his knee into the criminal leader's chest.

The impact with the ground rattled Tundra's bones. Thankfully, the eight-foot tall man had made for an excellent cushion to soften the fall. Tundra remained kneeling on the unconscious man's body for a few moments until his racing heart had finally calmed down.

"Dumbass. Could have gotten me killed," he grumbled grumpily, hopping onto the finely mowed grass. As he did so, he accidentally knocked off Bursun's mask, revealing the most normal face Tundra had ever seen.

After staring incredulously for several seconds, he shrugged and picked up the mask, absent-mindedly spinning it on the tip of his finger. He nearly screamed like a girl when a heavy hand gripped his ankle.

"Please…I have a request."

Tundra was about to shake his leg free and run away, but something stopped him from doing so. He let the mask fall to the ground and knelt so that he could hear Bursun's voice.

After hearing what he needed to hear, Tundra slowly rose to his feet. Deciding he should find some medical help for the normal-faced man, he set off. He took a few steps forward, then halted as he felt something unusual under his foot. He bent down and retrieved a polished wooden stick from the ground. Tundra smiled and tucked his cane under his arm. With that, he strolled across the lawn, taking his sweet time to savor the fresh night air (and by doing so, completely forgot the events of the most recent fifteen minutes of his life).

"This has been a pretty good day," he said to himself with a sigh.

~with Tavvy, Bailey, Greneland, and whoever else~

Everyone could hear the thundering of heavy footsteps pounding into the floorboards. It was a tiring sound and soon became mere background noise. But when the footsteps stopped, everyone took notice.

"Oh, so that insufferable moron was finally cornered?" spat Greneland.

Tavvy elbowed Greneland. "No, Tun-san must have wiped out those guys!"

Bailey elbowed Greneland, since he couldn't reach Tavvy while bound to the pillar. "Be quiet!" he whispered.

Everyone listened intently. There was a crash, then some softer, less hurried footsteps. After another moment of brief silence, the same type of footfalls resumed and grew louder until the Magnus Troopers appeared in the (destroyed) entrance of the grand ballroom, their abnormally tall leader not present.

"Where is Bursun?" King Ravioli demanded, rising to his feet.

"He stayed behind to fight the Marine."

The doll-faced king scowled in annoyance. "Why would he do that?"

Before anyone could answer, loud shouting erupted and the sound of running feet could be heard. The people standing in the doorway were forced inside at gunpoint as around twenty Marines streamed into the ballroom. Leading them in was a man with a face covered in scars.

"Triataro? What are you doing with the Marines?" asked Gurche, his voice shaky. "You're betraying Mr. Bursun?"

The scar-faced man broke into a smile. "Well, you know, Gurche. If you unscramble Triataro, you get…_a traitor_." He peeled away a section of his face, but accidentally ripped it. He sighed in frustration. "Actually, I was never on your side to begin with. I've just always wanted to say that."

Another Marine hurried into the room and saluted the man who now had scars covering only part of his face. "Lieutenant Commander Narvey, sir! We found Magnus Bursun!" he said.

"Good, good. Get him onto the ship so we can finally depart from this stupid island."

The Marine shook his head hesitantly. "I'm not sure we can move him, sir. He's badly injured. He seems to have fallen from a window on the third floor."

Lieutenant Commander Narvey paused, then erupted into a spurt of anger and punched the wall furiously. "Damn you, Tundra! You ruin everything, don't you? EVERY SINGLE TIME! You're so damn mean to everyone! You bone-headed bonehead! I'll kill you!"

Following the outburst were several gunshots. No one was hit, though everyone's attention now focused on one thing. King Ravioli held a rifle with trembling hands. He pointed it at his wife's head. "D-don't move! I'll shoot her!"

"Dear?" squeaked Queen Lasagna, her voice rising to an incredibly high pitch. "What are you doing?"

The king dragged the queen to her feet and slowly backed away to a small door at the opposite end of the ballroom.

"Shoot them," Narvey ordered. "We don't need them alive."

The Marines raised their guns and fired. The bullets embedded themselves into the dozen or so members of the Magnus Troop who had formed a protective wall with their bodies, shielding the king and queen from harm. Once all of them had fallen, the royal couple had already escaped.

"T-that was…they just…" Bailey spluttered, struggling to find the right words.

Greneland could feel Tavvy tensing beside him. With a tremendous burst of strength, the white-haired seaman recruit burst free from his confines and stood, the pillar at his back crumbling. "I have some bad guys to chase!" he growled, rage lighting up his eyes. He pushed past the Marines who had been about to follow the nobles and ran through the back door.

"What is with that kid?" Lieutenant Commander Narvey asked of no one in particular before he also sprinted out the door.

"There he goes again," Bailey muttered. "That idiot."

~with Tavvy~

The back door opened to a narrow corridor which branched off in two different directions. Tavvy managed to catch a glimpse of the hem of a dress swishing around the left corner before disappearing from sight. He followed.

Tavvy was angry. Angry at the Magnus Troop. Were they stupid? Why would they through away their lives for dirty nobles who only cared for themselves? The Marines were there. The king and queen would unquestionably be caught. So why did they do it?

He rounded the corner and could now see the two fleeing convicts nearing another door. The king cast a backwards glance and saw the young Marine. He hastened his pace, forcing his wife to do the same, though she clearly could not run very fast in a long dress and high heels. Tavvy didn't bother to shout anything. He just stormed forward.

The two nobles reached the door. It opened to the side of the castle. A single moose harnessed to a glittering carriage waited outside. King Ravioli practically threw the queen into the vehicle and clambered to the driver's seat, grasping the reins tightly. With a single yank, the moose began a full-speed gallop. Tavvy managed to reach the door just as the carriage rolled down a well-worn path leading to the front of the castle. Tavvy would not let a moose outrun him. He continued to chase after the nobles, paying no heed to Narvey, who had called out for him to stop.

A moose can run up to thirty-five miles an hour. Tavvy was lucky to peak at around twelve, but he was tiring. The carriage grew farther and farther away as it headed out the front gates towards the town and its harbor. And then, the moose stopped completely in its tracks. Something, or rather, someone was blocking its path.

Tundra didn't make much of the clopping of the moose's hooves or the rumbling of the carriage's wheels. He dismissed it as mere background noise. It did not earn any space in his attention even when it had steadily increased in volume. He did not notice when it discontinued abruptly. He did not hear the moose snort. He did not hear a deep voice shout out something rude. He didn't hear the crunch of gravel as somebody's feet hit the ground. He didn't hear the click of a gun. Why did he persist in ignoring these sounds? Because it was all just background noise.

But then a vaguely familiar voice yelled, "Tun-san, watch out!"

Tundra whirled around and found himself staring at a moose, who stared back with mild interest. Unbeknownst to the commodore, King Ravioli lay sprawled across the gravel driveway, having been knocked down by the cane Tundra held under his arm. The rifle he had been holding skidded into the grass.

"What are you looking at?" Tundra asked the moose.

"You," the moose replied.

Tundra jumped back in shock. He hadn't expected the moose to answer. "What the hell? A talking moose?"

"Got a problem with that?" said the moose, sounding very threatening indeed.

"N-no…" Tundra stuttered, backing away from the talking moose and being careful as to not make any sudden movements that would provoke the creature. He accidentally stepped on the king, who cried out in pain as his hand was crushed under the commodore's boot.

"You!" hissed King Ravioli, trying to get to his feet. "If you hadn't come—"

Tundra didn't wait for the king to finish speaking. "Stop stalking me, you weird stalker person!" he snapped, determinedly whacking the noble several times with his cane. "Go stalk someone else."

Tavvy, his breathing heavy, jogged up to the carriage and leaned against its side. "Wow, Tun-san! You…caught…the ravioli king!" he said between gasps for air.

Tundra blinked a few times. "King? What king?" He noticed the moose glaring at him. "You mean the moose?"

"Not the moose!" shouted Lieutenant Commander Narvey, marching straight up to Tundra. He was more than a head shorter than the commodore. His fake rubber face was peeling off on its own and now only clung to his skin at his left cheek. He pointed to King Ravioli. "Him!"

Tundra realized there was huge a misunderstanding. "Oh, I see." He patted the lieutenant commander on the head in sympathy. "I know it's an easy mistake to make, Narvey, but that's actually a stalker."

"I am not a stalker!" the king cried out indignantly.

"Then why are you stalking me?" Tundra retorted vehemently, extremely frustrated with the supposed stalker.

Narvey held up a hand. "Calm down, Tundra. He's not a stalker." After seeing Tundra's dubious look, he elaborated on his words. "He's King Ravioli. You know, the one who banned coffee on this island."

Tundra scratched his head. "Naw, that can't be." He stared at the noble still on the ground, studying him intently. After a while, his conviction seemed to waver. "Well, maybe he is. But either way, he's still a stalker, so someone needs to arrest him for harassment."

King Ravioli would have none of it. "I am not a stalker!" he repeated in a squeaky voice that would be considered high for a baritone.

Narvey grumbled something under his breath, then fished out a pair of handcuffs from his pocket. "King Ravioli, with the authority of the Marines, I am arresting you on charges for illegal trading and the aid of various other crimes…" He trailed off, but reluctantly continued, "and for harassment of an officer as well."

Before realization began to sink in for the king, he was already handcuffed and hoisted to his feet. Tundra watched and nodded in approval. As Marines from Narvey's unit arrived at the scene, it was discovered that Queen Lasagna had mysteriously disappeared from the carriage. Her diamond-crusted high heels lay yards apart on the front lawn of the castle.

A disgruntled Narvey, whose fake face had already completely fallen off, was busy trying to convince the moose, who was frightening everyone, to go back to the stables. It refused, claiming it had been hitched to the carriage for so long that its legs were too tired to move. Even when Narvey had removed all the restraints of the carriage, the moose continued to moan on and on about hoof pains.

"That doesn't even make any sense! You don't have nerves in your hooves!" Narvey exclaimed.

"Got a problem with that?" the moose responded, glaring with its moose eyes.

Narvey faltered under the fierce gaze. "Well, not really…"

Tavvy decided to put himself to good use. He approached the moose in a relaxed manner and smiled kindly. "Hey, Mr. Moose! You're scaring everyone! Go back to the stables, alright?" He failed to notice the many people flailing their arms about, trying to tell him to shut up.

The moose snorted, but miraculously obliged. As it began to walk away, it turned its head and called out, "My name isn't Mr. Moose. It's Mighty. Mighty Moose."

"Okay!" Tavvy said, tears in his eyes as he waved goodbye. "I'll remember that, Mighty!"

Everyone stared at the departing moose, then at Tavvy. The young Marine sniffled as Mighty calmly trotted around a bend.

"That was…" began Narvey, but couldn't find a word to finish his sentence.

Tundra scratched the back his head, confused. "What the hell just happened?" he wondered aloud. Then he shrugged and signaled to a nearby Marine grunt. "Hey, can you get me some coffee?"

"Coffee is banned on the island, sir." The Marine tugged his collar nervously as he waited for the commodore's reaction.

"Not anymore."

Heads turned as the eldest of the Ravioli Island princesses strode down the gravel driveway. Her arms were loosely crossed and a slight, but confident smile played on her lips. In her hand, she held a notebook and pen.

"Cannoli!" King Ravioli hissed, struggling against the Marines holding each of his cuffed arms. "What are you doing?"

Cannoli smirked at the disheveled state of her father. "_What am I doing_? Oh, Father. I never realized you were so slow." She walked over to Tundra and smiled leeringly. "Commodore, did you find the documents I requested?"

"What documents?" the king demanded. The strong grips on his arms tightened in warning, but he ignored it.

Tundra rummaged around in his pockets. He finally produced a plain white envelope, albeit a bit wrinkled, and handed it to Cannoli. The princess opened it with trained expertise and removed a folded sheet of yellowing paper.

King Ravioli paled. "That's the deed to my entire estate," he murmured, stunned. He glowered at Tundra. "How…how did you manage to find that?"

"Oh, please father. It was under your mattress, along with those pictures of the women you've been having affairs with." Cannoli continued to speak as she examined the deed. "Of course, Mother wasn't too bright for not noticing at all."

"How dare you betray your parents, Cannoli? You…you won't be inheriting any of my fortune!"

Cannoli feigned shock. "_Your_ fortune? I think you mean _my_ fortune, Father," she said, flourishing the deed in her father's face.

Ravioli's mouth opened, but words did not come out.

"You see, Father. With you in prison and Mother in off running around somewhere, all your property, including your rule over the island, will fall under my care."

After several moments of silence, Ravioli sneered. "The deed says otherwise! Even if I'm in prison, everything is still mine!" he shouted triumphantly.

"Deed?" Cannoli said with her eyebrows arched. She looked at the paper in her hands and flicked open a lighter, letting the small flame engulf the deed. Then, from between the pages of her notebook, she took out an almost identical sheet of paper. "You mean this deed? The one you signed saying that if you were to ever leave the estate due to infringement of the law, you would forfeit the entirety of your properties to me?"

The sound that escaped from Ravioli's throat could only be described as pitiful and pitiful it was. Cannoli seemed to enjoy hearing it and simply giggled as ashes scattered into the wind. Narvey glanced down at his nails, uncaring. Tavvy blinked, uncertain about what he had just witnessed.

"I trust you have not seen anything out of the ordinary, Lieutenant Commander Narvey?" Cannoli asked expectantly.

"Everything seems quite normal to me," said Narvey.

"And you, Commodore?" Cannoli turned to where Tundra had been standing earlier, only to realize he had gone and dozed off in the driver's seat of the carriage.

Tundra mumbled something incoherent in his sleep, though it probably had something to do with coffee. A vein bulged on Narvey's forehead and he snatched a bag of ice from a Marine nursing a swollen ankle. He climbed up the carriage and promptly dumped the contents of the bag onto Tundra's face.

Instantly, Tundra sat bolt upright. "FUCKING DUMBASS! I WAS TAKING A NAP!" howled the commodore, launching himself at Narvey. They both landed heavily on the ground, gravel flying everywhere from the strength of the impact. Tundra scrambled to his feet, grabbed Narvey by the collar, and tossed the lieutenant commander into carriage. Due to a slight downward slope, the wheels on the carriage began to turn. Before long, the carriage had gained enough momentum and hurtled at maximum speed down the path towards the town below.

As Tundra busied himself with trying to remove all the ice cubes that had crept into his clothes, the other Marines were transfixed with watching the bounce along happily with its not-so-happy passenger screaming R-rated insults. They all cringed as the vehicle slammed into a lamppost, sending the lamppost crashing to the ground and waking the entire neighborhood.

Cannoli's mouth had fallen open slightly. She now closed it, disappointed she was no longer the center of attention. The disappointment soon turned to indifference as she folded the 'new' deed and sealed it inside a fresh envelope. She turned to walk back to castle and came face to face with a very grumpy Greneland.

"Why hello, Prince Greneland," she greeted him with a slight inclination of her head.

"Don't 'why hello' me! First those ruffians bash me in the head, and more than just once! Then, someone pushes me out a window! Then, I'm tied up and treated like a potato sack! I am a prince! I deserve better treatment!"

Cannoli stumbled backwards from the sheer force of the rant. She backed into a Marine, who backed into another Marine, who backed into another Marine, who backed into another Marine, who backed into another Marine, who backed into Tundra (who is yet another Marine), who backed into thin air (which is not a Marine) and fell to the ground, which couldn't really back into anything (and is not a Marine).

Bailey came up behind Greneland and almost instantly wished he hadn't. A cane flew out of nowhere. Greneland shrieked and dove to the side, narrowly escaping certain doom, leaving Bailey, who had not been able to see the incoming projectile, to take the blow in full. The cane hit him in the forehead and nearly cracked his skull open. Bailey blundered about, completely shocked by the unexpected turn of events.

A certain commodore brushed past Bailey in order to retrieve his cane. "Oh, there's blood on it. Anyone got a handkerchief?"

Tavvy rushed over to steady his ginger-haired friend. "Whoa. Are you okay, Bailey?" he asked, a concerned look in his eyes.

"I…I'm a bit dizzy," Bailey murmured, leaning against Tavvy's supporting arm.

Tavvy guided Bailey to a soft patch of grass and sat him down. "Wait here! I'll get you some help! Uh…keep your head up to stop the bleeding!" He dashed off in order to find a first aid kit.

"Keep my head up? No, I should do handstands instead," Bailey muttered sarcastically. He turned to a random person. "Seriously, what kind of advice is that?"

"That barbaric act was completely uncalled for!" shouted a ruffled Greneland, standing to his full height. He stormed over and jabbed a finger into Tundra's chest.

Tundra shrugged and swatted away Greneland's hand. "You made me fall down."

"That could have killed me!"

"Good riddance."

"Why, you!"

Tundra whacked Greneland on the head with his cane. "Your voice is too loud. Shut up."

Unexpectedly, Greneland yanked the cane out of Tundra's grasp and whacked the commodore a few times over the head. "Don't tell me what to do! I can have you executed anytime I want! You should be doing as I say!" he shouted fiercely, eyes glittering with a combination of annoyance and arrogance. The glitter died away when he realized how much he had angered the commodore. Well, you couldn't really call it anger. It was more of a severely-pissed-off-and-ready-to-kill kind of vibe.

Tundra snatched his cane from Greneland's trembling hand and raised it threateningly above his head. He was about to bring it down when someone said, "Calm down, Tundra. Here, have some coffee."

Immediately, Tundra whirled around, his mouth watering. "Did someone say…coffee?" Sure enough, the smell of coffee wafted from a glass coffeepot. Holding that coffeepot was a copper-haired warrant officer.

Rockwell calmly poured the steaming dark liquid into a blue mug and handed it to Tundra, who accepted it with greedy hands.

"Hey, what's that guy doing here?" asked Tavvy, pointing to the newcomer. He had led a Marine medic to Bailey and now stood awkwardly next to Greneland. Greneland inched away from the younger Marine with a detested look. Tavvy just blinked at the reaction, more interested in other business.

Rockwell refilled Tundra's mug, which had been emptied in less than thirty seconds. "I'm still waiting for Dohoman to show up. Do you happen to know where he is, Tundra?" he asked.

Tundra took a more restricted sip of his coffee before replying, "No idea." He took another, less restricted sip. "But thanks for the coffee. Who are you anyways?"

Rockwell ignored the question, merely tapping his toe impatiently and occasionally glancing at his wristwatch. "I did tell him to observe and take notes. He should be in the area," the warrant officer mumbled to himself. He strained his neck and peered down the castle's gravel pathway. "Is that…Narvey? What is Narvey doing arguing with those civilians?"

"The idiot knocked down their lamppost," Tundra said dismissively, gesturing for Rockwell to pour more coffee into his cup.

Rockwell sighed. He dumped the remaining coffee into Tundra's mug and shoved the empty coffeepot into the arms of a Marine grunt, who nearly dropped it since it was still scalding hot. The warrant officer muttered something about outlandish lieutenant commanders before beginning to pace with growing agitation.

"Uh…Mister?" Tavvy piped up. "Why is it so important to have the notes Dough-Man took?"

Rockwell abruptly stopped his pacing. "Well, why do you think?" he answered rather unhelpfully.

Tavvy began a reply, but just then, none other than Master Chief Petty Officer Dohoman came striding towards them through Ravioli Castle's front gates. When he reached his superior officers, he saluted. "Sorry I'm late, sir," he grunted. "I ran into a moose."

"A moose?" Rockwell raised an unconvinced eyebrow.

Dohoman nodded. "A moose. It said its name was Mighty. Mighty Moose."

Rockwell heaved a heavy sigh. "Of course. Mighty Moose. Now, what about the notes? You took the notes I requested, yes?"

"Yes, sir! They're right here." Dohoman handed Rockwell a spiral-bound book.

Rockwell flicked through the pages, then threw the book over his shoulder. "That's a recipe book, Dohoman. Where are the notes?"

"What?" Dohoman took a small step backwards. "No, that's…those are the notes. I swear, I took them!"

"You can say that however many times you like," said Rockwell, rolling his eyes with unconcealed annoyance. "But it won't change the text on the pages. Now, _where are the notes_?"

Dohoman gulped nervously. "M-must have lost the notebook, sir," he mumbled, bowing his head in shame.

Rockwell sighed and muttered something about insufferable ship captains with frizzy beards. He nearly lashed out when a hand touched him on the shoulder.

Princess Cannoli smiled. "Could you be looking for this by any chance?" She brought forward the notebook she had been holding in her arms.

The warrant officer swiped the book out of Cannoli's hands without a word of thanks. Rockwell shook his head in exasperation and flipped open the cover of the book. "Yes, this is it."

"I hope you don't mind, but I added some of my own notes. See? I even have their recommended scores next to their names," Cannoli said, pointing at the page.

"Oh, I'm blind so I can't possibly see what you wrote in your elegant and curly cursive," Rockwell growled sarcastically, shooing away Cannoli's hand. "Thank you, your royal highness. Now, go along and mind your own business."

Cannoli held her hands up in surrender. "Fine. I'll go. Sorry to bother you, Oh-So-Important _Warrant Officer_." She left with a flick of her curly brown hair.

"Uh, excuse me," Tavvy tried again, desperate to know just what was going on. "What's so important about those notes? What did she mean with the scores and all?"

Rockwell slammed the notebook shut, pretending not to have heard Tavvy. "It's too dark out here to read your awful handwriting, Dohoman," he announced, marching up the gravel lane to the castle, where several lights lit up extravagant windows.

Tundra held his cup upside down. Not a single drop of coffee fell from the ceramic container. Disappointed to the point of near-depression, Tundra tossed the mug to the side, shards of fired clay clattering to rest among the stone chippings and grass.

"Tundra!" Rockwell snapped irritably, pivoting on his heel to face the commodore a few yards ahead.

"What?" Tundra replied, just as irritably as the warrant officer, perhaps even more so.

Rockwell rubbed his temples. "Don't you have work to do?" he prompted, jerking his thumb towards Ravioli Castle.

Tundra stared blankly for a few seconds, but he soon seemed to remember something. "That's right," he murmured, hefting his cane onto his shoulder. "I need to find that coffee room."

Rockwell sighed. "Oh, well. This works too." He beckoned to Tavvy, Greneland, and Dohoman. "Well? Don't just stand there. Follow!" He turned back around and stomped up the gravel driveway.

"Someone's in a bad mood," Bailey remarked, cautiously tiptoeing up to the group. He eyed Tundra's cane warily, putting great distance between him and the hazardous wooden object. The wound on his head throbbed painfully under stark white bandages.

"He's always like that," said Dohoman. "Especially around Mister Tundra. The two just don't get along for some reason." He scratched at his beard without much enthusiasm.

Tundra peered at the group. "Did someone say my name?"

"Yes."

"Don't say people's names so carelessly!" The commodore almost threw his cane again, but decided against it at the last second. He tromped away, stabbing the wooden rod into the ground with every step of his left foot.

"Someone's in a bad mood," noted Bailey. He paused for a moment or two. "Didn't I just say that?"

Dohoman lit a cigar and blew smoke into the faces of the other Marines, initiating a widespread fit of coughing. "It's best if you three don't keep Rockwell waiting. He has serious things to discuss with you. And…well, brace yourselves." He shook his head sadly and tromped away towards the harbor.

Tavvy, Bailey, and Greneland blinked at the same time as they turned to the castle. "Brace ourselves?"

* * *

><p>So that was a long time. This is a kinda long chapter. Life's good, right?<p>

I know I said I'd finish the arc, but I really wanted to get a chapter out and couldn't get into contact with my beta reader for a long time because I was so busy. Oh, yeah. Everyone say thank you to my beta reader, Orrahn. He actually started his job on the last chapter, but I never mentioned it.

For sure, the next Tavvy chapter will be the conclusion of this arc. Already, you can see the focus has been diverted from Tavvy, Bailey, and Greneland. My intention is for them to seem very insignificant compared to Marines with higher ranking such as Rockwell and Tundra. Of course, that will change once they themselves start gaining ranks...

Well, thanks for reading, everyone! Don't get run over by a moose!


	27. Target Arc: I am psychic

~Sammy~

"So you lost your ship? Wow! You really failed!" Skorpio threw back his head and let out a long, howling laugh. "What kind of pirate loses his own ship?"

"Hey! I was underground!" Sammy exclaimed, frowning indignantly. He stuffed a slice of ham into his mouth. "What are you doing here anyways?"

Skorpio snatched a honey-glazed bun from Cross's hands (to Cross's great dismay). Munching on it, he thought deeply. "Hmm…now that you mention it…" He turned to his crew. "Hey, do you guys know why we're even on this island?"

The only answer he received was the sound of chirping crickets.

Skorpio turned back to Sammy. "I have no idea, but it's been really fun! There are assassins _everywhere_!" he exclaimed, gesturing madly. He stole another bun from Cross.

Sammy also robbed Cross of a bun and took a large bite from it. He then returned to bun to its original owner (to Cross's great dismay), chewing intensely. "What? This place is crazy! Why are there assassins everywhere? They interrupted my nap!"

"It's something to do with Très Bien, the captain of the Blood Berry Pirates," answered Tauris, picking through his plate of healthy foods. "I got that from a nice lady before she was stabbed in the stomach."

Sammy cringed, choking on the food in his mouth. "Is she alright?" he asked.

"Très Bien is a man…I think," said Tauris.

"No, I meant the lady who got stabbed."

Tauris scratched his head. "Which one?"

Sammy dropped his fork. The sound rang through the restaurant. "Wait…just how many people have you seen get stabbed?" he asked, his voice taking a dangerous edge.

Tauris was about to answer, but Skorpio cut him off. "Oi, Joker. You can't get mad about people getting stabbed." He waved a pudding-covered spoon in Sammy's face.

"You're right," Sammy said with a short laugh. "Okay, let me rephrase the question. How many people have you seen die from getting stabbed?" The expression on Sammy's face was dead serious.

Noelle could feel the tension in the air. Everyone had stopped eating by now…because they were busy counting.

"Five. No, seven. Yeah, I'm sure it's seven," said Kanser.

"Hmm, only four for me," Skorpio murmured.

Cross stared at the remnants of the bun in his hands while stuttering out, "F-f-five."

Tauris was examining the three fingers he held up. "Uh…one?"

"No, that's three," Skorpio corrected.

"Oh! Three, then."

"Yep. That makes nineteen in total," Kanser concluded. He looked around. "Wait, what about Aquario? Where is she?"

"I'm here! Sorry, I had to throw up in the bathroom!" A woman with long, blond hair rushed into the room. She bowed repeatedly to everyone. "Sorry! I'm just so worthless!"

"She went back to being Pysces," grumbled Skorpio. He let out a dissatisfied sigh. "Oh, _joy_."

"I'm sorry! My worthless self is just so worthless! I'm such a failure!" Pysces broke down into a sobbing mess, sinking to her knees.

Tauris moved to her side, wrapping a muscle-bound arm around her shoulders. "It's alright Py! No one thinks you're worthless," he said in a gentle voice.

"I do!" said Cross, standing. "You're worthless Pysces! You're as worthless as this bun!" He held up his mostly-eaten bun, then threw it to the ground.

"Worthless!" shouted Kanser, raising a clenched fist. "Worthless! Worthless!"

Noelle watched in morbid fascination as the word was chanted over and over again. Pysces continued to cry and Tauris couldn't do much about it. Noelle turned to her right and saw that Sammy had also joined in. She punched the pirate captain.

"What was that for?" Sammy whined.

"I should be asking you the same thing!"

"Worthless! Worthless!"

A reptilian head popped out from the locks of Pysces's golden hair. The head's serpentine body slithered down her face and coiled around her neck.

Sammy pointed. "What is that thing?" he asked, trying to be heard above the chanting. He gasped as the creature sank its fangs into Pysces's flesh.

Skorpio jumped up to his feet. "Good job, Draeco!" he said, nodding his head in approval and clapping loudly.

"Draeco!" Kanser echoed. He also took up the applause.

"Draeco!" howled Cross.

"No, not Draeco!" wailed Tauris. He scuttled away from Pysces and the reptilian animal, curling up into a ball with his hands over his head.

"DRAE-COOOO!" Aquario hollered, dispelling her tears with a toss of her hair. She yanked off the creature around her neck and tossed it into the air. "THANKS, BUDDY!"

Draeco hissed as he suddenly found himself airborne. He landed in Aquario's hair and made himself comfortable.

"What the hell is wrong with all of you?" Sammy shouted, rising to his feet. Once silence had settled, he broke into a grin. "Where have you been all my life? You guys are so awesome!"

"YEAH! I like you, Suicide Guy!" yelled Aquario. She and Sammy exchanged a complicated handshake.

"Suicide Guy for president!" agreed Cross. He then dropped his gaze. "But he made my bun worthless…"

Sammy set his hands on his hips. "Now, now," he said, striking a thoughtful pose. "President is such a low goal. That's why I'm gonna be…PIRATE KING!"

Aquario and Cross applauded the short speech. "Yeah! Suicide Guy for PIRATE KING!" they shouted.

"Hey! Wait a second!" interjected Skorpio, slightly worried. "I'm going to be Pirate King, remember?"

Aquario stuck out her tongue. "Bleh. I like Suicide Guy better! GOOOO SUICIDE GUUUUY!"

"Suicide Guy makes things worthless! Go Suicide Guy!" Cross bellowed with a loud hoot. He turned to Skorpio. "Sorry, Skorp. We're ditching you."

Skorpio paused as realization began to sink in. "Huh? You guys can't be serious…can you?" he asked. He looked expectantly at the two with large, watery puppy eyes.

Aquario shrugged. She turned away from the auburn-haired teenager. "SUICIDE!" she yelled, pumping a fist into the air.

Cross also shrugged. He turned away from his captain. "WORTHLESSNESS!" he screamed. He picked up a bun and tore it in half with a hoot of exhilaration.

Sammy high-fived the both of them. "Alright! Me for Pirate King!"

Skorpio stood there, his mouth hanging open, as Sammy led Cross and Aquario out the door to parade in the streets. He managed to stagger to a seat and sit down. He glanced at Kanser. "You'll stay with me, right Kanser?" he asked weakly.

"Of course!" exclaimed Kanser. "Kanser will always be Skorp's first mate!"

Grateful tears began to well up in the corners of Skorpio's eyes. "You…YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD FRIEND, KANSER!" He buried his face into Kanser's shoulder and wept.

Tauris sat upright and scratched his cheek with a stubby finger. "Huh? Where did Cross and Aquario go?" he wondered, looking about him dumbly. "Why are you crying, Skorpio?"

Noelle decided not to be shocked by the sudden turn of events. After all, these people were just a bunch of loud, obnoxious idiots. She calmly ate her soup and analyzed the flavor. It was a bit too salty.

~elsewhere in town~

A cloaked figure dashed into a narrow alley. His pursuers followed closely behind, though they ran in single file due to the constricted space of the alley. For a while, the only sounds were heavy breathing and hurried footsteps. Then, several cries of pain sounded through the night. The cloaked figure whirled around, only to see a trail of about half a dozen men lying on the cold ground. Arrows protruded from multiple vital spots on their bodies.

"What do we have here?" sang a cheery voice from somewhere above. A dark shape flew down from the roof of a building, landing solidly in front of the cloaked figure.

"I d-don't want to cause t-trouble," stuttered a small, yet confident voice. "I'm j-just looking for my friend."

"Your friend, hmm?Sorry to break it to you, but he's already gone from this island." A hood was flipped back and a familiar face revealed. "Do you need help finding him?"

It took more than half a minute for the realization to settle in. A scream rose from the throat of the cloaked boy. He stumbled backwards, hands clawing at his own face, his eyes wide with absolute horror. "YOU? WHAT DID YOU DO TO JEM?"

~with Sammy~

Sammy hit himself. How could he be so stupid? He couldn't believe he had forgotten his painting at the clock tower. That painting was an important gift. He had promised to take good care of it.

"Hey, I'm going to the clock tower!" Sammy called to Aquario and Cross.

"I'll come too," offered Cross. "You never know when you might need medical assistance."

Sammy blinked. "Medical assistance?"

"Yeah. I'm a doctor." Cross began to smile, but instead looked in dismay at the grease marks on his leather jacket.

Sammy grinned. "That's cool. I should get a doctor for my crew," he murmured. He pointed at Aquario. "Then what do you do?"

"Me? I'm the na-vi-ga-toooor!" shouted Aquario, pointing up at the sky.

"Oh, wow! That's amazing! Who makes all your food, then?"

Aquario looked at Cross. Cross looked at Aquario. They both looked at Sammy, then shrugged. "No one. We just buy candy and raid restaurants."

"WHAT?" Sammy almost punched a wall in disbelief. "That's not the way to do things! What if you get trapped in a storm for a year? How will you survive?"

"That's a good question," said Cross. He tapped his chin thoughtfully. "I guess we'd just hunt marine animals and eat them raw. Like savages."

"SAVAGES!" Aquario agreed.

Sammy shook his head, frustrated. "No, no, no. You'd get scurvy if you didn't eat fruits and vegetables."

"But where do you find fruits and vegetables in the middle of the ocean?"

"That…that's not important! The point is, you just need someone to cook things for you. That's why I have Noelle in my crew!"

"Oh, okay."

Sammy crossed his arms. "It's not just 'okay'. You've got to understand that the most important crewmember on a ship, besides the captain of course, is the chef because food is the most important thing overall," he droned with prideful confidence. "You've got to prepare for an adventure, you know. Seriously, it's like you guys just decided to hop on a boat and do whatever."

Cross glanced at Aquario, who glanced back with wild eyes.

-=Flashback=-

Aquario and Cross hop onto a boat. "Let's do whatever!" they exclaim to each other. Then, they each take an oar and row into the sunset.

-=Present=-

"That's exactly what happened!" Aquario and Cross shouted at the same time. "Wow! It's like you're psychic or something!"

"Psychic, huh? I like the sound of that." Sammy mused, tapping his chin thoughtfully. He smiled slyly. "I'm going to predict something, alright? Make sure you pay attention to see if it comes true!"

Cross and Aquario concentrated on Sammy as the pirate captain closed his eyes and placed his fingers at his temples.

"I'm getting something!" he called out after a few minutes. His eyes remained closed. "Yes, yes. It seems that…someone will attack us…right now!"

Arrows rained down on the threesome. Cross reacted by whipping his cross off his back and twirling it above him, whacking away any incoming arrows. Aquario dodged each incoming projectile, her movements fluid and minimal. Sammy just stood there, eyes still closed, as the arrows buried themselves hear his feet.

"Did it come true?" asked Sammy, finally opening his eyes.

"YEAH!" yelled Aquario. "THAT WAS AMAZING, PSY-CHIC-OOOO!"

"Sweet!" shouted Sammy. He then realized something. "Oh, shit! We're being attacked!"

Another round of arrows descended upon the group. Sammy rolled across the cobbled ground to the side of a building where he knew some of the arrows had come from. He hefted a conveniently located trashcan lid above his head and began to climb, using window ledges as his footholds.

Aquario and Cross had similar ideas. This was Aquario's ingenious idea:

"HEEEEY!" Aquario howled. She hung upside down from a fire escape ladder and amused herself with trying to punch the arrows out of the air. When she grew tired of that, she flipped herself upright and pranced onto the roof where the shooter stood. "You should do something more in-ter-est-ing! Buuuut…why do you look like a porcupine?"

And this was Cross's absolutely brilliant idea:

The young doctor swung his cross above his head in circles, powerful arm muscles controlling the movement of the heavy stone structure. When he had built enough momentum, he let his weapon fly, leaping on top of it and riding it to the roof of another building. He crashed into concrete, rolling off his cross to minimize damage. He yanked his cross upright and prepared to hurl it at an enemy. Unfortunately, he did not get the chance to do so.

"Huh? I don't shoot arrows," Cross murmured to himself, relaxing his stance. He then beamed. "Wow! I can shoot arrows without even thinking about it!"

~back with Sammy~

Sammy threw the trashcan lid at the hooded person. It glanced harmlessly off his shoulder.

"My, my. It seems children these days simply refuse to treat their saviors well. I even disposed of your attacker here, so why not show a bit more courtesy?" The tone was not serious, but there was a lilt to the voice that made Sammy squirm.

"Who are you?" Sammy felt the question was overused, but the words spilled out of his mouth before he could think deeply about whether he should use clichés or not.

A blazing white smile lit up within the dark recesses of the mysterious person's hood. "That is not your concern, Joker D. Samuel," he said, the smile growing wider and wider with each passing second. "I'm actually here to ask you a favor."

"Sorry, but I'm not taking favors today." Sammy heard his voice shaking. He felt an immense fear that was similar to what he had experienced from the purple-eyed lady from earlier that day, except the fear from this man was quite nauseating. And that smile was just too creepy.

The tension was broken as Cross crash-landed onto the roof. "Well, I've arrived! Don't worry, I'm a doctor." Cross flashed a sturdy grin at Sammy. His heart broke as Sammy only returned with a grimace. "You're not happy to see me, are you?"

Sammy set his hands on his hips. "What kind of an entrance was that? It should have had more awesomeness!" he berated, momentarily forgetting the other presence on the rooftop.

Cross sighed. "You're right. I suppose I have much to learn," he murmured. Finally, he noticed the cloaked figure and gasped in an overly dramatic way, pointing with a shaky hand. "You! It's…you! What are you doing here?"

Before anything else could happen, Aquario joined the party. "He was no fun at all! I don't like por-cu-pine-oooos!" she complained to Cross, whose mouth was wide open in shock. Aquario began to laugh at the weird facial expression of her crewmate, but the laughter died when she saw just who had caused the expression in the first place.

A high-pitched giggle caused all three pirates to jump five feet in the air.

"That's not a natural kind of laugh," Sammy commented.

"He's not a natural kind of person," Cross replied, gritting his teeth. "Let's run and hope he decides to let us go."

"Right-o, Cross-oooo!" agreed Aquario. Fear was evident in her wild eyes. She made to turn away, but a root of some sorts wrapped around her ankle, tripping her so that she toppled to the concrete rooftop. "Ow! That's meeeeeaaaan!"

More giggling could be heard before the jovial voice spoke. "You should stay, little ones. I'm not angry, so I have no reason to harm you," he sang. From within the folds of his cloak, he withdrew an ordinary-looking, silver key.

"A weapon!" shrieked Cross, diving to the side.

"I thought I told you," said the grinning stranger, "I am not here for your lives." He tossed the key to the ground and it clattered to rest in front of Sammy's feet. "There is a child in a storage shed. He needs help from kind boys and girls such as you three. I'm entrusting his safety to you."

"But I'm not a certified babysitter!" objected Sammy.

"That doesn't matter."

"Yes it does!"

With something similar to a shrug, the figure turned swiftly and leapt down from the roof. Sammy ran to the edge of the roof in pursuit (and nearly fell off) only to find an empty street below. He scoured the night for any signs of movement, but there were none.

Cross gingerly poked the silver key. It did not explode. "It's safe!" called the young doctor to no one in particular.

"What's safe?" demanded Aquario, pausing in her efforts to free her foot from the wooden tendril.

"The key! It didn't explode when I touched it!"

"Ooooh! That's a good thing, right?"

"I think so!"

Sammy sat down heavily, suddenly exhausted. He clutched at his chest and felt his heart pounding against his rib cage. Slowly, he rose back to his feet and joined Cross and Aquario as they examined the key.

Cross held the metal object in his hand as if it would come to life and attack him at any moment. "Be careful around this thing. It might seem harmless, but I'm sure there's some hidden trap," he told Sammy.

Sammy ignored the other pirate and grabbed the key. "Alright! We've got to find a storage shed and rescue some poor kid." He began to climb down from the roof.

"It's going to explode!" Cross and Aquario shrieked in unison. They waited for the inevitable sound of an explosion. It didn't come.

The two peeked down onto the street. Sammy stood there, his hands on his hips, tapping his foot. Noticing the two pairs of eyes watching him from above, he beckoned impatiently.

"Maybe it won't explode," said Aquario.

"Maybe it will," countered Cross.

They stared at each other for a long time before warily making their way down to the ground, giving Sammy wide berth. Sammy frowned at the two, but didn't say anything in response to their overly-cautious behavior.

"To the storage shed!" Sammy announced, jabbing a fist into the air.

Cross scratched his head. "But where is the storage shed?" he asked. "And why are we even going to a storage shed in the first place?"

Sammy shook his head in exasperation. "I can easily find a storage shed! And we're going because we need to rescue someone who was locked in there by that creepy guy," he explained.

"But what if it's a trap?"

"Then we'll just deal with it!"

Cross's face fell in dismay. "I'm bad at dealing with things," he mumbled, hanging his head in shame.

"Don't worry about it, buddy! I've got this covered," Sammy said with a reassuring smile. He patted Cross on the back and pranced forward a few steps. Concentration creased over his face and he closed his eyes.

"Whooooa. He's doing the same thing as Skor-pi-oooo," Aquario noted, eyes wide in wonder.

Cross blinked a few times. "I thought only Skorp could do that," he murmured.

After a few minutes in which Sammy concentrated and Aquario and Cross watched him concentrate, Sammy opened his eyes and grinned. Once again, he shouted, "To the storage shed!"

"To the storage shed!" Cross and Aquario echoed, enthusiastically following Sammy through the streets.

~at the restaurant~

Noelle had evacuated to a building across the street. Even then, she could still clearly hear those irritating voices.

"AND THEN I DIDN'T GET ANY CANDY!" Skorpio sobbed, leaning heavily on Kanser's shoulder. "Oh, Kanser. WHY IS MY LIFE SO MISERABLE?"

"Kanser doesn't know…BUT KANSER FEELS FOR YOU, SKORP!"

Skorpio faced his first mate with tears streaming down his face. "THANK YOU KANSER. You…YOU'RE THE BEST!" he wailed. His strength left him, and he returned to a leaning position.

Tauris did not want to be left out of the emotional melting pot. "What about me, Skorpio?" he asked, a hopeful tilt in his voice.

Without much interest, Skorpio eyed his large crewmate. "Uh…you're okay…I guess."

"I'm okay!" Tauris said gleefully. His happiness was soon replaced by disappointment. "I'm just 'okay'?"

"Yeah," Kanser affirmed. "You're just okay."

While Tauris sulked, a new wave of sorrow crashed down upon Skorpio and the pirate captain began a reinvigorated bout of sobbing. "HOW COULD AQUARIO AND CROSS DO THIS TO ME?" he asked of the skies, throwing his arms to the side. "I HOPE THEY'RE HAVING A HORRIBLE TIME DOING WHATEVER THEY'RE DOING RIGHT NOW! THEM AND THAT JOKER!"

Kanser nodded, eyes full of understanding. "And how does that make you feel?"

~with Sammy, Cross, and Aquario~

"This kid is CRAAAAZY!" Aquario shrieked, holding out a frying pan in a defensive position.

Cross skittered past and tried to properly wield a flamingo lawn ornament. "M-M-Mommy! I want my mommy!" he cried. There were three deep cuts in his shoulder. Blood from the wounds trickled down his leather jacket and dripped onto the ground.

Aquario blocked a punch with the frying pain, staring in horror as the fist broke through the metal. "Cross-oooo! Let's get out of here!" she yelled. She abandoned the frying pan and leapt to the side, avoiding another terrifying punch.

"Alright!" Cross agreed. He moved towards the storage shed's exit. "Don't forget Suicide Guy!"

Aquario hit herself in the head. "That's right! Suicide Guy is in troooouble!" She turned to where Sammy lay. His head rested in a growing pool of blood. The spiky-haired adolescent was unconscious, undoubtedly because of the deep gash on his forehead.

A loud yowl filled the storage shed with sound. Aquario and Cross both instinctively reached up to cover their ears. From the noise, they could make out a question laden with the utmost despair: _What did you do to Jem? _

* * *

><p>Wow. Yeah, long time no see. Hopefully, two chapters at once makes up for the wait. I don't think I've sent this to my beta reader yet. My bad, Orrahn. Just blissfully ignore any mistakes. I hope all of you had a fabulous Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and whatever else you might celebrate over the winter.<p>

Right, so here we have Sammy and he got beaten up by some random kid we don't even know the name of yet. Pretty pathetic, right? Anyways, Cross and Aquario are doing their best to make up for Sammy's lack of awesomeness, but they were even scared of some weird guy who gave them a key, so I'm a little concerned about them. Meanwhile, Skorpio is having a mental meltdown and Kanser has assumed the role of the crew's psychologist. Noelle just wants some peace and quiet. Oh, and Tauris is being useless. Where could all this possibly lead to? You'll find out... next next chapter.


	28. Ravioli Island Arc: Different Doctors

~Tavvy~

Rockwell's black eyes scanned the pages of the notebook in an almost robotic manner. He leaned back on the comfortable couch of the castle's lounge room, surrounded by puffy pillows. Across from him, Tavvy, Bailey, and Greneland sat stiffly on another couch. Between the couches, a glass coffee table stood, bearing a single vase of withering flowers. Tundra stood some ways away from the other four, sipping on coffee while trying to fend off an enthralled Princess Biscotti, whose eyes had turned into hearts.

After some under-the-breath muttering by Rockwell, he directed his gaze away from the notebook and onto the three in front of him. "You three failed."

Then began the blaming, accompanied with intense finger pointing. "It was his fault!" "No, it was his fault!" "Hell, no! It was all his fault!"

"SILENCE!"

Three mouths shut immediately.

Rockwell stabbed the notebook with his finger. "All of you are at fault. You were assigned to this mission as a team and you didn't act anything like one."

"That idiot commodore didn't act like part of the team!" spat Greneland with a finger-point at Tundra.

"Tun-san was eaten by a sea king, you idiot!" Tavvy retorted. "Of course he wasn't part of the team!"

"Well, if 'Tun-san' is so perfect, then why didn't he just kill the sea king?"

"SILENCE!"

Tavvy and Greneland closed their mouths. Bailey shifted uneasily.

"You three aren't very bright, are you?" Rockwell said with a sigh. He slammed the notebook onto the table, rattling the vase and causing everyone to jump in surprise. "In order to judge your abilities, I set up this test. Tundra purposefully let himself get eaten to get out of your way and to serve as backup if anything went wrong. And things went _very_ wrong, mind you."

"Wait, wait. Hold on." Greneland stared incredulously at Rockwell. "This was all a test?"

Rockwell's face displayed a most irritated expression. "Did I stutter?"

"You risked our lives for a _test_?"

"_Did I stutter_?"

Greneland rose to his feet angrily, hands balled into fists. "What kind of a base manager are you? My father will hear about this!"

Rockwell also rose to his feet. Although he stood a few inches shorter than Greneland, it was clear who had more presence. "He already has," sneered the warrant officer. "I could tell he wasn't too happy to discover you've been bribing Marie with money from his bank account. In fact, he has ordered your immediate demotion back to seaman recruit."

Greneland paled. He sat back down.

Rockwell straightened the cuffs of his shirt. "Now, let's go over the main errors of your performance, since it would take over a month to explain the little details." Hearing several crashing noises and splashing sounds, he pivoted on his heel and glared angrily at Tundra. "What are you doing back there?"

Coffee splattered the walls. A window had shattered. The remains of three ornate urns lay scattered in the carpet. Tundra ran around the room, dodging what seemed to be solidified, heart-shaped kisses blown by a certain blond princess, which would explode upon impact with a solid object.

"I want to marry you, Commodore!" sang Princess Biscotti, charging at Tundra with welcome (not really) arms. She blew a few more explosive kisses.

"And I _don't_ want to marry you, you crazy woman!" Tundra retorted. He ducked to avoid the kisses.

"But you're so cuuuute!"

"Shut up! I am not cute!"

"Aw, you're so cute when you say that!"

Tundra found himself trapped in a corner. He pointed frantically at Rockwell. "Why don't you go marry him? Your ugly faces would look perfect together on a postcard or something."

Biscotti actually stopped to consider. She studied Rockwell's obviously irritated face. "But he's older than me," she whined.

Tundra scratched his head, trading his fear for confusion. "Then why are you chasing after me? I'm even older than him."

"WHAT?" Biscotti's hands flew to her mouth. "But…you're twenty-something, right?"

Tundra snorted. "Try thirty-three."

A blood-curling scream arose from deep within Princess Biscotti's lungs as she ran out of the room. From the ear-splitting wail, one could make out the words, "I CAN'T BELIEVE I THOUGHT HE WAS CUTE!"

Once the ringing had faded from his ears, Rockwell cleared his throat and turned his attention back to lecturing on failure. "The very first mistake you three made was not even bothering to call me when one of the group's members had fallen. It's especially important to alert your technical assistance about this when your group is so small," he said.

"Oh! That makes sense!" Tavvy exclaimed, slamming a fist into his palm with an 'aha!' expression on his face.

"Of course it does," Rockwell replied, unimpressed by Tavvy's enthusiasm. "I can't say the same for any of your thinking processes."

"Well, we did have plans," said Bailey. He fiddled with his bandages.

Greneland scoffed. "What you called a plan was simply a preposterous delusion!"

"It was better than yours!" Bailey snapped back.

"See? He's still delusional!"

Rockwell sat down with a sharp exhalation of air. He hid his face in his hands and waited.

Bailey punched his couch cushion in frustration. "We didn't have time to do something like that, idiot! People could have gotten hurt!" he shouted.

Tavvy jumped into the argument, wagging his finger. "But you know, if you had all just agreed to my plan, those rich people would've been saved in no time!"

"_Your_ plan?" said Bailey, his voice shrill. "If everyone had followed my plan, things wouldn't have ended up so disastrously!"

Rockwell sighed. This was why he hated newbies. They were so noisy. "You three had a way to contact me through your earpieces," he said. "What you should have done was tell me that the initial grounds of the assignment were wrong. If it was a regular mission, I would have sent backup or withdrawn you."

The three of them fell silent.

After a few seconds of silence, Greneland found his voice. "That's what I said! These dunce buckets don't know any common sense." The newly-demoted seaman recruit sounded like a proud little boy who had just won the potty training award.

Bailey tried to come up with a good defense. "W-well, I figured it would take too much time to get here from the base," he spluttered.

Tundra spoke up. Miraculously, he had found another cup of coffee, which seemed to have calmed him down from his life-or-death fight with the princess. "Well, Marines aren't only on duty at the base. There are patrol units, regular stationary units on other islands, wandering units, the occasional idiot who goes from door to door selling Girl Scout cookies—"

"The point is," Rockwell interrupted, hiding a box of Girl Scout cookies behind his back before continuing, "you three didn't work as a team…not with yourselves nor with me. The Marines might be filled with egomaniacs and celebrities, but teamwork is vital to keeping order on the seas. If you can't work together, you'd need to be able complete entire missions on your own."

"I'm perfectly fine with working alone," Bailey muttered.

"Me too!" huffed Tavvy, scooting away from the others.

"I don't need to rely on other people," Greneland growled, glancing impatiently at the slowly widening gap between him and Tavvy.

All three suddenly found themselves drenched in scorching hot coffee. Squeals of pain soon followed. Rockwell calmly wiped a few stray droplets from his face with a discontent sigh.

"Now look at what you've done!" Tundra shouted, madly waving his empty mug around in the air. "You all are so stupid that you made me spill my coffee! I can't work under these conditions!" He stormed out of the room.

Rockwell leaned back and lazily picked up the receiver of a den den mushi. He dialed a number, ignoring the screams of agony from the seaman recruits sitting across from him. "This is Warrant Officer Rockwell. Do you have any medics available?...Yes, make sure they have the proper equipment for treating severe burns…Well, Commodore Tundra likes his coffee extremely hot."

~the next morning~

"I really must thank you for your services, Commodore Tundra," said Cannoli, flashing a radiant smile. She leaned against the doorframe of the front doors, her hair betraying the fact that she had only just woken up.

"Okay…whoever you are." Tundra scratched his head. "You wouldn't happen to know where the coffee room is, would you?"

Cannoli let the smile drop from her face. "We don't have a coffee room in the castle," she answered, her tone impatient. "You've asked me that same exact question sixteen times already."

Tundra stepped back and examined the castle with a critical gaze. "Your castle is this big and doesn't even have a coffee room? You must be retarded." He clicked his tongue disapprovingly.

"How must I be retarded?" Cannoli could barely hide the offense in her voice. "This castle was built long before I was born."

"You could always renovate," Tundra retorted accusingly.

"Why would I bother to spend any money on renovating a perfectly fine castle? Unlike you, I find coffee rather disgusting."

Tundra stuck up his middle finger. "Then you can go die in a—"

"Tundra!" Rockwell shouted, infuriated. He emerged through the doorway with a slight limp. "Why…just _why_ are there smashed teacups _everywhere_? It's extremely hazardous to walk through." He yanked out a shard of porcelain from his shoe.

Cannoli paled. "W-what? It couldn't be the…no, not the ultra-rare collection of china teacups from Mariejois. Please, anything but that!" The princess ran into the castle, eyes brimming with dread.

Rockwell turned to Tundra. He tried to speak, but his mouth only opened about half an inch before Cannoli came rushing back.

"What is the meaning of this?" she demanded, holding up a chipped teacup. "All the others are completely destroyed!"

"Oh, I missed one," Tundra murmured. He scratched the back of his head and frowned. "Sorry, I couldn't find a coffee mug, only those sissy teacups, so I kinda got mad and smashed them all with my cane."

Princess Cannoli almost died from heart failure.

Rockwell grabbed the commodore's arm and dragged him down the gravel pathway, leaving Cannoli to her misery. "You're being unreasonable," hissed the warrant officer once the two were well out of earshot from the princess.

To Rockwell's exasperation, Tundra yawned and flourished his hand uncaringly. "It's not unreasonable. Tea is just really disgusting," he remarked absent-mindedly.

Rockwell heaved a sigh. "Look, I know you're angry," he said. The warrant officer clasped his hands behind his back and marched towards town. "But it was part of the deal. She would provide evidence for Ravioli's wrongdoings and we would overlook her own illegal actions. There is no actual harm in having her as the queen of this island."

"I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm just mad because she didn't tell me where the coffee room was," Tundra said, pulling the hood of his jacket low over his face. "That, and I lost my cane. Again."

"That doesn't explain why you lied about your reason for destroying those teacups. I know you always carry at least three coffee mugs with you at all times."

The commodore stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Okay, fine. I was just…really bored. I mean, those teacups were obvious fakes anyways," he mumbled sulkily.

Rockwell took out a pack of cigarettes. "Honestly, you're too childish to be a commodore. They should have made you a permanent chore boy." He slid a cigarette into his mouth and lit it with a match, inhaling deeply through the tobacco-stuffed paper tube. "You and your antics! It's all too stressful for my liking."

Tundra waved a hand in front of his face, dispelling the smoke that had drifted near his nose. "Put it out! You're going to give me lung cancer!" he shouted with a slight cough.

Rockwell ignored his colleague's protests.

"You fucking dumbass, I said put it out!" Tundra frantically thrashed his arms about, trying to banish every wisp of smoke that strayed too close.

Rockwell sighed again, exhaling another cloud of gray smoke. "Sometimes, I wonder just who promoted him this far," he muttered under his breath. He rolled his eyes as Tundra fainted from holding his breath for too long. "I really do wonder."

~back at the castle~

Tavvy ran. Beside him, Bailey could barely keep up. They both tried to squeeze through a door at the same time, but the doorway was far too small for that. The two seaman recruits rebounded to the carpeted floor and yelped from their burn wounds.

"Aw, you two are so cuuuute!"

Bailey nearly screamed as the princess came fluttering towards them. He jumped to his feet and successfully made it through the door, slamming it shut behind him. He breathed a sigh of relief and proceeded with his escape. There was just a slight problem…

"Bailey!" Tavvy yelled, pounding on the door. He frantically glanced over his shoulder. "Open up! She's getting closer!"

But Bailey was long gone. He could hear Tavvy's shouting and wanted to help, but he was more fearful for his own life. Besides, he was still angry at Tavvy (and Greneland for that matter) about the whole pseudo-mission mess-up.

"BAILEYYYY! HEEEELP MEEEE!"

The princess was almost upon him. Just a bit closer, and he would be doomed.

"Just what is going on here?" exclaimed a loud, whiney voice. Greneland stood between the princess, who had halted in her advance, and the panicking Tavvy. He eyed both sides with pure distaste.

"YOU SAVED ME!" Tavvy cried, springing to his feet. He rushed over and hugged Greneland, tears in his eyes. "THANK YOU SO MUCH, GREEN-GUY! I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE!"

"Get away from me, you commoner filth! You're transferring all your filthy germs to me!" shouted Greneland, attempting to pry Tavvy's arms loose. "And my name is Greneland!"

Just then, Bailey came rushing back. "I'm here! I'm here! Sorry for abandoning—" His mouth stopped working for a moment as he saw Tavvy hugging Greneland with all his might. "D-did I miss something?"

"Aw, you three are soooo cute!" Princess Biscotti shrieked with the utmost joy.

Greneland finally managed to free himself from Tavvy's embrace by kicking the younger away. He angrily turned to the princess. "How dare you call me cute? I am handsome! I am drop-dead gorgeous! I am even godly! But I am absolutely, positively, definitely NOT CUTE!" he roared with a fire in his eyes.

Unfazed by the rage emanating from the seething Greneland, Biscotti waved dismissively. "Oh, nonsense! You three are too young to _not_ be cute!"

"I'm thirty-three!" shouted Greneland.

"I'm fifty!" shouted Bailey.

"And I'm one hundred years old!" shouted Tavvy.

Biscotti took an uncertain step back. Then, her expression turned to one of horror. She ran away, screaming, "EEEEW! OLD PEOPLE! I CAN'T BELIEVE I THOUGHT THEY WERE CUTE!"

Bailey raised an eyebrow. "She…actually believed that."

Tavvy shrugged. "At least she's gone."

Greneland was busy brushing his clothes with a disinfecting wipe, his nose scrunched up to its max extent. "Disgusting. Absolutely disgusting," he muttered to himself.

~at the harbor~

Bailey needed to itch his nose, but in doing so, he knew he would cause more trouble than it was worth. Tavvy also needed to itch his nose. Unlike Bailey, he did not stop to think about the consequences, which resulted in a loud squeak of pain. Greneland was not shy to voice his disapproval for his own situation of nose-itching.

"Stop complaining," Rockwell instructed, standing cross-armed next to the main mast. The salty sea breeze caused his curly hair to bounce up and down. He looked at a clipboard. "The burns aren't that bad. Mostly first-degree. Bailey has some second-degree burns on his shoulders."

"Why do we even have burns in the first place?" whined Greneland, wincing as he accidentally jerked his arm backwards.

Rockwell sighed. "Obviously, you were drenched in hot coffee. This is something you would remember, no?"

Greneland was about to shout an angry retort when Tundra boarded the ship, holding a heavy suitcase in his right hand. He was flanked by Dohoman and his crew. Greneland's attention and anger redirected itself. "You imbecile! How dare you injure me?" he howled, glowering at the commodore.

Tundra blinked, then scratched his head. "Uh…who are you?" he asked, genuinely confused.

Greneland nearly exploded in frustration. He nearly exploded again, in fright, when the ginormous head of a sea king rose out of the water. Small, beady eyes searched the ship's inhabitants for its desired target.

Everyone began backing away slowly, except for Tundra. The commodore found it odd that everyone had fallen silent so suddenly. He realized they were all rudely staring at him. He was about to scold everyone for their bad manners when he heard an animal-like grunt from behind him.

Tundra turned around and dropped the suitcase. His eyes widened in shock as a blue and pink tail shot out of the water and wrapped around him, dragging him under the deep blue waves.

"Tun-san!" shouted Tavvy, running over to the side of the ship. He was met with the seemingly grinning face of the sea king. Tavvy yelped and stumbled backwards.

Dohoman's cigar dropped to the ground. "Rockwell, sir! We have to save—"

"DON'T DO THAT EVER AGAIN!" Tundra howled, his head bursting above the water. He clung to the sea king's tail, which raised him so that he could step onto the deck of the ship. The sea king made a low, rumbling sound in its throat that eerily resembled laughter. Tundra scowled down at his drenched clothes, running a hand through his wet hair, which was plastered to his face. He glared accusingly at the sea king. "You know I can't swim, you big hunk of meat! Why the hell would you think that was funny?"

The sea king continued to laugh in its sea king-way.

"It's not funny! I could have died!"

"Stop!" shouted Bailey. "Stop talking!"

Tundra turned a both quizzical and irritated gaze to the seaman recruit. "What? Can't you see I'm busy chastising someone?" he asked rhetorically, accepting a towel from Dohoman and drying his hair with it.

Bailey, ignoring the pain, pointed a bandaged finger at the sea king. "You were talking to it! You were talking to a sea king!"

"Yeah. So?" Tundra's hair began to stick up as the moisture holding it down evaporated. He tossed the towel over back towards Dohoman, who fell on the deck in a scramble to catch it.

"It's a freaking sea king! Hello? A SEA KING!"

The sea king roared in disapproval. It extended its neck higher out of the water and opened its mouth, bearing its jagged teeth. Bailey reeled away, along with the other people on deck. Even Rockwell was frightened, shielding himself with his clipboard.

"Stop calling her names! You're hurting her feelings!" Tundra yelled with an obvious protective tone. "It's alright, girl. Don't pay any attention to those stupid people." The sea king lowered her head and nuzzled Tundra's face with her snout, producing a low hum that shook the entire ship. Tundra patted her nose and her tail began to wag, splashing salty water everywhere.

"I thought you were mad at it! You even called it a big hunk of meat!" exclaimed Greneland.

Tundra shrugged. "How can I stay mad at such an adorable face?"

Rockwell brandished his clipboard. "T-that's enough, Tundra! Tell it to go away," he said, his voice weak.

"Why? She isn't doing anything wrong."

At that moment, the sea king's thrashing tail slammed into another ship, sending it skidding though the water. It crashed into a boulder.

Tundra scratched his head as people on shore began to scream in panic. "Yikes. Hope no one's hurt."

"**Generic Attack #1**!"

The sea king found a foot in her face.

"**Generic Attack #2**!"

Tundra found a foot in his face.

"**Generic Attack #3**!"

Rockwell found a foot in his face.

Lieutenant Commander Narvey landed gracefully on the deck.

"What is the meaning of this, Narvey?" Rockwell demanded, trying not to look too pathetic with most of his face swollen.

"I feel like I just got kicked in the face," remarked Tundra.

"ROAR!" roared the sea king, shocked by the boot mark stamped into her leathery skin. Afraid of being kicked again, she retreated back into the rolling waves, bellowing mournfully.

"Shut up! I should arrest the lot of you, especially you, Tundra! You illegally brought a Sea King all the way to East Blue! Don't you know about the dangerous population levels in the Blues? And you're so goddamn mean! I come all the way down from the Conqueror's Half to see you—I mean—to apprehend Magnus Bursun for interrogation, but you don't even remember me!" Narvey ranted. "And you should at least be begging for forgiveness right now considering all the times I saved your sorry ass from those bucket-heads who always stole your coffee! You're ungrateful, you hear? UN-GRATE-FUL!" Then began the sniffling and falling of tears.

Tundra glanced around him with a clueless expression. He looked back at Narvey and pointed to himself. "Huh? Are you talking to me?"

"OF COURSE I'M TALKING TO YOU!" Narvey screeched, sniffling and tears forgotten.

Tavvy thought there was something different about Daca Narvey from the night before, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't quite place it. It definitely concerned the lieutenant commander's face. And in that moment, it hit him.

"You're a woman now!" Tavvy exclaimed, pointing rudely.

Several veins bulged on Narvey's forehead. "This insolent kid!" she hissed. She set her hands on her hips and raised her chin high. "I've…_always_ been a woman!"

"But your face is different!"

Narvey grabbed her hair…and yanked it off. She tore off her face. She then tore off another face. And another. And another.

"I'm confused," Tavvy admitted, trying to follow the sheer number of faces that eventually plopped to the deck of the ship.

"You should be!" shouted Narvey, slipping off a rubbery nose. "I am Daca Narvey, Mistress of Disguise! I can change into any person I desire!"

Tavvy had sparkles in his eyes. "Wow! That's so cool!"

Narvey chuckled. "Of course it's cool. I'm the ultimate spy! Bow down to my awesomeness!"

Bailey hid his face in his hands. "Someone shoot me."

Rockwell nearly dropped his clipboard from embarrassment. "Narvey…this isn't the time."

Dohoman puffed on his cigar and shrugged. "The Grand Line is a queer place," he murmured.

"Well, anyways," said Narvey, halting her face-ripping to hand Rockwell a tall stack of papers, "this is all the paperwork needed to verify Magnus Bursun's transfer to my custody. Also, there's info on the Magnus Troop's activity in the Grand Line, which will undoubtedly help you wrap up a few things here in East Blue."

Rockwell struggled to hold the papers. "How considerate of you, Narvey. May I ask why you must interrogate Bursun?"

Lieutenant Commander Narvey hefted another large stack of papers into Dohoman's arms. "He made a few powerful friends. Friends who have been eluding us for years," she answered. She pulled a wagon piled high with even more paperwork onto the ship.

"Is all this paperwork really necessary?" Rockwell dared to ask, peering at a flier for discounted chocolate milk.

"Well…probably. There are also some things for Marie and Kokie to fill out which are unrelated to this, but they're still important. My superiors want all of it mailed in by next week."

"Next week? Your superiors are too demanding," Rockwell replied, sighing as yet another stack of papers was carried onto the ship. "Unfortunately, Marie and Kokie cannot work at such a…fast pace. Besides—" A strong breeze caused Rockwell to take a hasty step forwards. He managed to trip on the cane mysteriously lying on the deck and threw the papers he had been holding into the wind in an effort to keep his balance.

It was a most serene sight: the countless papers drifting across the deep waters of East Blue.

"That's littering," Tavvy remarked.

"Yup," agreed Bailey. "That's super bad for the environment."

Awkward silence descended upon the ship.

Then, Narvey shrugged. "It's your problem now, Rockwell. I'll be heading back now. Have fun in this peaceful dump! And send my regards to Genesis and Gloria. G-5 misses them!" She waved jovially as she pranced off the ship.

Rockwell muttered something about waterlogged paperwork and peace being a rubbish word. He rounded on Dohoman. "We're leaving, Dohoman! Set a course straight to the base," he ordered, stomping off to his cabin.

"Actually," began Tundra, scratching the back of his head as he gazed out to sea, "could we take a little detour?"

Rockwell could only stare with a slightly puzzled expression as Dohoman moved to the wheel.

~Margerie Island, Polk's Hospital, 4th Floor~

A woman with short, ginger hair walked down the hospital corridor, her high heels clacking noisily on the tiled floor. She stopped in front of room 497 and reached for the door handle, sporting a small smile. A hand appeared in her field of vision and clamped over her mouth. Her arms were wrenched behind her back and handcuffed as a large man with a frizzy beard and a cigar in his mouth dragged her away.

Someone entered the room. The four patients in the room looked up at his arrival, then returned their attention to what they had previously been doing. The man sat down in a spinning chair next to one of the four beds. He tried to smile pleasantly, but it turned into a grimace of sorts. "Hello, I'm Doctor…uh, Doctor…" the doctor glanced around and saw an IV attached to the arm of a young boy. "I'm Doctor Ivy."

The woman sitting upright in her hospital bed looked at the doctor curiously. "You're not my usual doctor," she noted. She shifted away slightly from the stranger. He was strikingly handsome with almost completely white hair and kind, blue eyes. He slipped a pair of glasses up the bridge of his nose as he began to study the document in his hands.

"Ah, yes. Your usual doctor would be…Doctor Chelsea?" he asked, squinting at the small text.

"Yes, Iamagodi Chelsea. She has dark orange hair and—"

"What a weird name."

"It's not as weird as Ivy." The woman frowned at the doctor's odd remark. This Doctor Ivy was fairly rude and she wanted to be rid of him. "Why can't she be here? Is she ill? Are there no other doctors available?"

Doctor Ivy fiddled with his glasses. He read from his paper, "Iamagodi Chelsea was arrested for providing false medication to her patients. The exact reasons for her actions are not known, but the hospital will do everything that can be done to help the unfortunate victims of this horrible deed." Without looking up from the sheet, he nodded in the direction of the woman in the bed. "And you would be one of Iamagodi Chelsea's patients, Magnus Fralia, correct?"

The woman involuntarily raised a hand to her mouth at the suddenness of his words. "What? This…this isn't funny," she stammered. Then, seeing the seriousness in the doctor's eyes, she grabbed his hand, panicked. "No, no! She can't have! Chelsea isn't that type of person!"

"It doesn't matter if you believe it or not. The fact of the matter is that Chelsea has been removed from her job and is now in custody of the Marines," Doctor Ivy replied. He withdrew his hand from Fralia's grip.

"Well, Chelsea has at least given me my proper medications. I feel much better after all the pills and—"

Doctor Ivy finally looked up from the sheet, the most apathetic look in his eyes, and interrupted Fralia with a dismissive wave of the hand. "You're quite the idiot, aren't you? Obviously, she's just been feeding you painkillers." His lack of expression made Fralia falter. "You're probably addicted to them, actually."

Fralia's flushed in anger. "How dare you? Chelsea wouldn't…she's not—wait, but this means…this means…" she trailed off as she tried to formulate a complete thought. As realization settled in, the blood drained from her face far more quickly than it had come. "This means my condition hasn't been improving?" Her voice began to shake.

"Did you even hear what I just said? Your condition is probably worse than whatever terrible state it was in to begin with."

Fralia could barely contain her anger. Her hands gripped the bed sheets with frail fingers. "All my brother's hard work…was for painkillers? I should have known she was lying when she told me everything was going to be fine after just a few days! I should have known!" she growled. Her angry words soon turned into heart wrenching sobs. The other patients in the room watched with concern and pity.

"Stop crying. Really, it's not like the world is ending," Doctor Ivy said in what most people would interpret as a condescending tone. He lifted a large suitcase onto the bed, opening it to reveal several wads of beli notes arranged perfectly into a seemingly solid rectangle. "Apparently, it's not too late to start real treatment. There's a new, more effective drug to treat your disease that was recently developed on Drum Island. It's expensive, but this will cover it, along with rehab for your possible drug addiction." Doctor Ivy closed the suitcase and gave it a good pat.

Fralia gawked at the doctor, eyes wide. Tears continued to trickle down from the corners of her eyes, but she was more shocked than anything else. "You're just giving me all this?" she asked, disbelieving.

Doctor Ivy shrugged and leaned back in his chair. "It's not mine to give. I'm just delivering it." He found a pen in his coat pocket and clicked it experimentally.

Minutes passed as Fralia just stared at the man, who seemed far too interested in his pen (though it was _extremely_ clickable), trying to comprehend his words. Her tears dried and her hands released the bed sheets, the red marks on her skin from her fingernails fading away. Finally, she looked up into calm, blue eyes and asked, "You're not a doctor, are you?"

"There he is! He just punched me and took my lab coat and glasses!" shouted a balding man with a potbelly and too many chins. A nasty bruise had formed around one of his eyes. He pointed frantically at Doctor Ivy. "Get him! I need my coat! Otherwise, I can't be a real doctor!"

Security guards rushed towards the fake doctor.

Doctor Ivy stood and in the same swift motion, turned and kicked one of the guards in the chin, sending him flying into an empty hospital bed. He ducked under a swinging baton and punched another security guard in the face, rendering the poor man unconscious. Grabbing two of the guards' heads, he smashed them together and flung them to the side. More security guards arrived, though they stayed back, wary of the tall, intimidating figure.

"Ms. Fralia, you might never see your brother again," said Doctor Ivy, turning back to the patient. Fralia noticed a colorful object dangling from a hook on the Doctor Ivy's belt. The fake doctor removed a mask from the hook and handed it to Magnus Bursun's sister. He smiled gently. "Bursun says he loves you."

With only the sound of flapping fabric to signify his departure, Doctor Ivy jumped from the hospital room's window. The curtains fluttered once, then grew still. A small slip of paper floated into the hands of the nearest security guard. It read: _THE MARINES WILL PAY FOR ALL DAMAGES TO THE HOSPITAL BUILDING, MEDICAL BILLS FOR THE WOUNDED GUARDS, AND A PAIR OF GLASSES FOR THE FAT GUY, BUT WILL NOT PAY FOR THE FAT GUY'S REPLACEMENT COAT. ANY COMPLAINTS MAY BE MADE TO A WALL_.

Fralia held the mask to her heart as people swarmed the room. They asked questions about the mysterious man who had infiltrated the hospital, jabbering on and on about the oddity of it all. Fralia let out a small sigh as the window through which Doctor Ivy had escaped was shut. "I'll definitely see you again, brother," she murmured with a slight smile. "But did you really need to ask a commodore to tell me what I already know? You're so stupid, Bursun."

~epilogue~

"Tundra, you wouldn't have anything to do with the incident at Polk's Hospital, would you?" asked Rockwell, suspiciously eyeing the stark white coat Tundra had acquired from his trip onto Margerie Island.

Tundra just gave him a blank look. "I have no idea what you're talking about," he responded. He removed a pair of reading glasses from his face and tucked them into his pocket. His mouth contorted into a wince as he stretched his arms above his head.

"You don't sound the least bit convincing. What were you doing at a hospital?"

The commodore ignored Rockwell's inquiry. He plopped onto the deck, exhausted from a hard day's work. "Damn, I'm sick of jumping out windows. Someone get me some coffee."

Tavvy, who had briefly glanced in Tundra and Rockwell's direction, turned his gaze back towards the ocean, a thoughtful look on his face. There had been events from the mission that did not sit well with him. He knew something was wrong.

"You seem to be in a thinking mood," Bailey muttered, joining Tavvy at the bow of the ship.

With a small nod, Tavvy murmured, "Yeah, I've been thinking."

"About what?"

Tavvy narrowed his eyes. "It's just that…well, I don't know, but something just isn't right," he said.

"A lot of things just aren't right," Bailey replied with a snort.

"But this is really serious. We forgot something."

"Forgot what?"

"That guy called Hedge and the rest of his team. No one ever got them out of those closets."

Bailey's mouth fell open just the slightest bit. He racked his mind for the memory of when Hodge and company had been released, but could not find it. Finally, after much awkward silence, he was able to splutter out, "I…I'm pretty sure his name is Hodge."

* * *

><p>Every Chelsea I have ever met has filled me with the utmost hatred. Thus, the name Chelsea was chosen for the evil doctor lady. It makes it easier to create this kind of character when you already hate the name. That being said, be on the lookout for a Leland, Amanda, and of course, more Chelsea's.<p>

Daca Narvey was named after Dana Carvey, who starred in The Master of Disguise. I've never seen that movie, but it was the first thing that popped up on a Google search of 'master of disguise' so I used it. Narvey will certainly appear again and... eh, I'll just leave it at that.

So, with their first mission wrapped up, what other trials lie in store for Tavvy and Co.? Well, I will tell that the three famous commodores of branch seventeen will be properly introduced in the next Tavvy chapter. Two have been clearly named, but the last one has not, though he or she has already appeared in the story! *wink wink*


	29. Target Arc: Devil Hunt!

~Sammy~

Cross hurriedly wrapped a strip of cloth around Sammy's head in an effort to suppress the blood flow. He saddened as he looked down on his ruined shirt. "Well, it's for a good cause…I suppose," he murmured to himself.

"Cross-oooo! Where are you?" he heard Aquario yell.

"Shush! He's going to hear you!" Cross shrieked back. He quickly clasped his hands over his mouth, realizing how hypocritical he sounded, but it was a bit too late for such thoughts.

Carefully, but quickly, Cross unclasped the chain connecting his cross to his wrist. He stowed away his weapon behind a dumpster, knowing it would only weigh him down in his escape, especially since he had to carry Sammy. The suicidal teen was heavier than he looked.

As Cross hefted Sammy's dead-weight body under his arm, something slipped out from Sammy's pocket. Instantly, Sammy was awake, shouting, "STEGGY! NOOOO!"

Before Cross could even wonder what 'Steggy' was, a shadow-clad figure appeared in the entrance of the alleyway they had been hiding in. Slowly, he advanced towards the frantic Cross and disoriented Sammy. Each of his steps was accompanied by his ragged, shallow breathing, which echoed off the brick walls of the alley.

"Steggy? Steggy, where are you?" Sammy mumbled, only partially conscious. "Hey, who's carrying me? I don't like being carried."

"Never mind that, Suicide Guy! We've got to go!"

"SUE IS A GUY? I had no idea!" exclaimed Sammy. His brow then creased as he frowned, thinking deeply. "Wait, who's Sue?"

Cross took one good look at the kid nearing with an enormous killing intent and decided enough was enough. He was the doctor of the Constellar Pirates, the infamous 'Crimson' Cross! He wasn't going to let some weird, crazy person push him around.

As Cross reached to retrieve his cross, Aquario popped out from nowhere and pushed him to the side. She poked him in the nose and said, "What are you doing, Cross-oooo? We've got to ruuuun!"

Cross realized he had just let some weird, crazy person push him around. He hung his head in shame. "Aquario, we should just beat him up," he mumbled.

"What about Suicide Guy?"

"He'll be fine without intervention for another five to ten minutes."

Aquario stamped her foot angrily. "You should have told me that earlier, Cross-oooo! I'm all tiiiired now!" she complained.

"Well, you're the one who wanted to run!" Cross replied, rather hurt by his crewmate's accusatory tone.

"But Suicide Guy was injuuuured! We needed to—" Aquario broke off when she realized their attacker was only about two yards away. She pointed at him and let out a high-pitched scream, hugging Cross, who had dropped Sammy and was also screaming his head off.

You can imagine how Sammy felt about the whole situation. Being dropped on his head was not a pleasant experience. Also, he wanted to know just what was going on. He wasn't sure where he was, who he was with, or how those two people could scream for such a long time without pausing to take a breath. He did know, however, that Steggy was missing from his pocket, and that was enough to send him into full-panic mode.

"EVERYBODY, STOP MOVING!" commanded the spiky-haired pirate captain, a frenzied undertone in his voice. Without waiting for anyone to actually obey his orders, he began to run his fingers along the ground. Blood from the cut on his forehead flowed into his eyes, blinding him so that he could not locate his beloved stegosaurus. His present state of mind would not allow him to come up with a better plan.

"S-S-Suicide Guy!" Cross whimpered. Both he and Aquario had managed to squeeze into the space behind the dumpsters. They cowered there, afraid of the dangers that lay outside.

Sammy did not like being interrupted in his desperate search for Steggy. "What do you want?" he snapped.

"H-he's right in front of you."

Sammy lifted his head. He finally found the sense to wipe his eyes. With his newfound sight, he stared up at a fair-haired boy. Wordlessly, the pirate captain raised a fist, and then his middle finger. "I'm busy, you bastard! Stop standing there and help me find Steggy!" With that, he continued in his search.

"_What did you do to Jem?_"

"Shh! I told you I'm busy!"

"_WHAT DID YOU DO TO JEM?_"

"SHUT UP!"

A bare fist slammed into the ground only inches away from where Sammy crouched. Shouting profanity, Sammy leapt backwards, bits of concrete biting into his flesh. Cross and Aquario gasped, but decided to stay out of the conflict in fear of their own safety.

"Good luck, Suicide Guy," Cross whispered.

Of course, Sammy didn't hear Cross's quiet wishes. It wouldn't have mattered anyways.

"**Hidangan**!" Sammy growled, clasping his hands together and thrusting them towards his foe.

The small figure was blown backwards by an invisible, concentrated force that hit him square in the chest. He performed a backwards summersault to reduce the impact with the ground, springing to his feet in one connected motion. He was prepared for another attack, but found his opponent occupied with other things.

"Steggy! I'm so glad you're okay!" squealed an elated Sammy. He hugged Steggy close, not wanting to part with his friend ever again.

"_What did you do to Jem?_" hissed the boy, beginning to walk forward again.

Sammy frowned as his reunion with Steggy was interrupted. "Hey, I don't know who 'Jem' is, alright?" he said. He hid Steggy in his pocket, slightly unsure of whether it was safe enough for the stegosaurus.

"_What did you do to Jem?_"

"I told you! I don't know anything about Jem!"

"_WHAT DID YOU DO TO JEM?_"

Sammy's eyes widened as the boy hurtled towards him. Surprise quickly turned into anger. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

The kid didn't even see it coming. Sammy punched him smack dab in the middle of his face. A disgruntled cry escaped from the boy's lips, accompanied by the telltale crack of a nose breaking. He landed on his butt and sat there dazedly for a few moments.

"That's what you get for messing with me, the next Pirate King!" Sammy shouted. "And I don't know who Jem is!"

The boy blinked a few times. "Hmm? Where am I?" he asked in a much more nasal voice. He cautiously felt his nose. It was bleeding profusely.

"I don't know where we are, but you attacked me for no reason. Apologize!" demanded Sammy.

"I attacked you?" Bright, hazel eyes widened in shock and horror. "You mean, I actually _attacked_ you?"

Sammy sniffed indignantly. He gestured to the wound on his forehead. "Obviously! And you also attacked those two hiding behind the dumpsters."

Cross and Aquario waved jovially at being mentioned.

The boy immediately shrunk back, scrunching his eyes shut and hiding his head in his arms. "I…I'm so sorry. Something must have interrupted my meditation! I would never do such a thing on purpose!" he said.

Sammy laughed. "Oh, so that's what you were doing," he said with a small, sheepish smile. "I thought you were hurt or something because you were sitting so still. Turns out you were just meditating."

"Soooo…" began the boy, dragging out the word much like Aquario would. "It's your fault I attacked you."

"What? No way! It's all your fault."

"No, I don't think so."

"I don't give a damn about what you think!"

The boy opened his mouth to utter a reply, but only a terrified yelp escaped through his lips as Sammy suddenly collapsed.

Cross whistled quietly. "Twelve minutes. That's more than my estimate," he remarked to Aquario.

"You suck at es-ti-ma-tiiiing!" Aquario squealed in a jeering tone. She laughed hysterically at this, making Cross feel very bad about himself.

The doctor did his best to hang his head in shame, though it was a tough action to perform while squished behind a smelly dumpster with a laughing blond-haired woman trying to punch him in the shoulder. He wasn't sure why he had decided to hide in the first place. He was more than capable of taking on some kid with a problem of repeating the same question over and over again.

"We're stuck," Cross suddenly said. He had tried to move his arm, but it was wedged firmly between wall and dumpster.

"Huh?"

Cross squirmed without avail. "_We're stuck_," he repeated. The dread in his voice was not well concealed.

Aquario paled. "This is baaaad, right?"

"Yes, this is very bad."

The two looked at each other, then looked to where Sammy lay facedown on the ground. Then, they looked back at each other and began to panic.

"We'll be stuck here forever!" Cross howled.

"FOOOOREEEEVEEEER!" Aquario wailed, as if the world was ending and the store had run out of frozen burritos.

And then, a miracle happened. Well actually, the boy just pushed the dumpster away from the brick wall, but it seemed like a miracle to Cross and Aquario.

"We're saved!"

"We're saaaaved!"

They hugged the poor kid and danced a happy dance together. Of course, all this enthusiasm woke Sammy up. He managed to smile dreamily before slipping back into unconsciousness.

~at the restaurant~

"Candy," Skorpio whispered, his voice hoarse. "I…need…candy."

The pirate captain lay sprawled across a table, his face pressed against the hard wood. His hand twitched every six seconds or so. Next to him, Kanser sat upright in a chair, sporting an empty monocle frame over his left eye.

"I see," murmured the pimple-faced first mate. "And how does that make you feel?"

"Like I'm going to die," Skorpio groaned miserably.

Kanser nodded. "I see," he said again. He used a fancy fountain pen to scribble something down on a notepad.

The door opened. Four people walked in with a fifth lying on a stretcher.

Noelle had somehow been recruited to help carry Sammy back to the restaurant. She wasn't sure how she had ended up in that particular dark alley, but she had arrived just in time to help move her 'captain'. She had locked eyes with an unfamiliar boy, who had looked back with just as much bewilderment.

Skorpio was not too happy to see Aquario and Cross. "What are you two doing here? I thought you had gone off to make Joker the Pirate King," he sneered, still planted facedown on the table.

"Suicide Guy got beaten up," Cross explained.

Skorpio snorted. "Typical," he muttered bitterly. He pushed himself off the table and stood up straight. "You didn't bring any candy back, did you?"

"No waaaay!" shouted Aquario, snickering at Skorpio's misery. "But we escaped from a dumpster thanks to that kid!" She pointed to the kid in question.

"Oh? And who might this be?" Skorpio asked. He cocked his head to the side, icy blue eyes scrutinizing the small figure. There was quite a lot of blood on the boy's shirt and a roll of tissue had been stuffed into each of his nostrils.

"I'm Nai," answered the fair-haired child, meeting Skorpio's gaze with mismatched eyes.

Kanser spoke up, still in psychologist mode. "And how does that make you feel?"

Confused, Nai frowned. "I'm not sure what you're talking about," he said. He accidentally let go of his corner of the stretcher, causing Sammy to tumble to the ground.

"This is the SECOND time I've been dropped!" Sammy howled with a shaking fist. He then proceeded to black out again.

"What's his problem?" Skorpio growled. "Can't even take a few bruises? Lame!"

"Lame!" agreed Kanser.

"Lame!" agreed Tauris.

"Lame!" agreed Aquario and Cross.

Skorpio blinked in surprise. "Ah? I thought you two were on his side," he said, his eyebrows arched.

"Yeah, well, Suicide Guy is cool…" began Cross.

"But that was LAAAAME!" finished Aquario. She and Cross high-fived before shouting 'LAME!' once again at the top of their lungs.

A wicked grin spread across Skorpio's face. "I see, I see. And does this mean you'll make me Pirate King now?" he asked.

Aquario eyed Skorpio skeptically. "I duuuunnoooo. What do you think, Cross-oooo?"

Cross struck a cool thinking pose with chin resting between his outstretched index finger and thumb. "Well, Aquario, I think we both know the answer," he said in a mysterious tone.

Skorpio threw his head back and laughed. "Stop messing around! Spit it out already!" he yelled playfully.

Cross and Aquario broke into massive grins.

"Aw, Skorp! You know we'd never really abandon you!"

"Yeah, SKOR-PI-OOOO! We're totally on your side!"

The auburn-haired captain held a hand to his forehead, laughter bubbling out of him in a strong, continuous stream. He slung an arm around each of their shoulders. "Oh, you guys! What would I do without you? You're the best crew ever!" He howled to the sky. "This calls for a GROUP HUG!"

Kanser rushed over and tackled them all with a massive hug. Tauris also joined the fray, flattening his crewmates by jumping on top of them. Then, it somehow turned into a wrestling match.

"Are they really…pirates?" Nai asked Noelle hesitantly.

"Yes," Noelle grumbled.

Nai stared at the rambunctious crew battling it out in the restaurant. "And you? You aren't a pirate, are you?"

"I wish I wasn't."

"Oh, so you were forced?"

"Not really."

"Then I don't really understand."

"Well that's too bad for you, isn't it?"

Nai recoiled slightly. He realized he had found company with some _very_ strange people.

"I'm…still…here!" Sammy gasped. He flailed his arms around before falling back into unconsciousness.

No one paid him much attention, though Nai's brow furrowed with worry. "Doesn't he need help?" he said.

Noelle nodded. "He needs _a lot_ of help," she confirmed. With that, she proceeded to do nothing except stand there.

Nai decided to take action. He had received some basic medical training before, so he knew what to do. Carefully, he tended to the wound on Sammy's forehead. Cross eventually came over and unraveled all the bandages Nai had wrapped around Sammy's head, replacing them with his own. With the task done, the pirate doctor pranced off to do other, more worthwhile things.

And then someone burst into the restaurant. It was a man in his late thirties with large, frightened eyes and sparse stubble on his chin. "HELP!" he cried, stumbling towards the closest person, who just happened to be Nai. "Help me, please!"

The whole party came to a shuddering halt.

"I'm…I'm the cap'n of a pirate crew. We ran out of supplies, so we docked here! You've gotta help! They're after me! They already got my crew!" continued the man, clawing at Nai's feet.

"Who's after you?" Nai asked. He began to back away from the panicking man. Alarm was evident in his expression.

The man shivered. His eyes darted about as if he was surrounded by thousands of glaring eyes. "The _devil_! He wants our bounties!"

Skorpio walked over calmly. The only sounds in the room came from his geta clacking on the floor and the ragged breathing of the terrified newcomer. "And what happened to your crew?" His voice was even and betrayed no emotion, contrasting greatly with the hysterics he had been in moments earlier.

The man buried his head in his arms. "They're pro'ly all dead! I just managed to get away. Just managed to get away before that devil came!" he sobbed.

Nai's face displayed pure horror. The devil. The devil that ruined everything was now on this island.

Skorpio was affected in another way by the man's words. "You _ran away_?" he asked, anger seeping into his voice. "You _left_ your crew?"

Tauris tensed and landed a hand on his captain's shoulder. "Skorpio, he's scared," he murmured. He tried to pull Skorpio back by his arm, but the auburn-haired teen yanked free of his grasp.

Skorpio stood above the older pirate captain, staring downwards with his enraged, cold eyes. Below, the man squirmed with terror. "Hey. Don't you know? A captain is _nothing_ without his crew." Skorpio squatted down and took out a small knife from within the sleeves of his kimono. He regarded coolly it before grasping it firmly in his hand. "And if the crew dies…"

"Stop it!" yelled Nai.

"Then so does the captain!" Skorpio stabbed down. Blood splattered onto his cheek. Eyes narrowed, he let go of his knife.

"Ow," Sammy muttered. He lay on the ground, arm extended. Gingerly, he unclenched his hand and let the knife fall to the ground, its blade slick with blood.

The man's eyes were screwed shut. He didn't look as if he would open them any time soon. To the side, Nai stood, shocked, yet also relieved.

Skorpio chuckled. "You didn't really think I was going to kill him, did you, Joker? Hnn?" He smiled, rising to his full height.

"It sure looked like it to me," Sammy answered. He got to his feet rather unsteadily.

Skorpio shrugged. "Someone like him isn't even worth killing," he said, walking to the door. He opened it and stepped outside.

"Wait, Skorp! Where are you going?" Cross asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" asked Skorpio, turning around with raised eyebrows. "I'm going to avenge his crew. After all, it's not their fault they had such an awful captain."

"WHAAAAT? Then we're coming tooooo!" yelled Aquario.

"Yeah! Let's all go hunt a devil!" Cross shouted in agreement.

"Devil hunt! Devil hunt!" Kanser chanted.

Tauris hid his face in his hands. "Oh no," he groaned. "Not again."

Sammy turned to Noelle. "Hey, Noelle! Let's go hunt a devil!" he said, grinning from ear to ear. He was beginning to look like a mummy with his head and hand wrapped in strips of cheap tablecloth.

For once, Noelle could see something behind the cheery attitude of her 'captain'. The spiky-haired pirate was determined to get to the bottom of this situation. Noelle could tell Sammy was still unnerved by the amount of blood that had been spilled in this town. In fact, she had her own fears about what else was going happen on this island.

"Devil hunt! Devil hunt! Devil hunt!"

* * *

><p>I bet you thought I died. You did, didn't you? Don't try to deny it. Anyways, I know this is a really lame chapter to follow up a hiatus, and you'll have to forgive me for that. This semester of school has been unexpectedly rough on me and of course, there's a whole bunch of personal problems.<p>

So! The Constellar Pirates and the Joker Pirates are joining forces to hunt a devil! And what does the devil have to do with Nai, the weird meditating kid? Well, you'll have to stay tuned to find out!


	30. Net traps and glitter

~Tavvy~

Tavvy sighed loudly. He was utterly bored. After the Ravioli Island fiasco, he, Bailey, and Greneland had immediately been assigned to patrol duty in the city surrounding the base. They were all in separate units, however, and while Tavvy didn't mind not seeing Greneland, he sure missed talking to Bailey. He hadn't even seen his friend for the past three days.

"Hey, Tavvy! Where are you?" someone called.

Tavvy walked out from under the shade of a tree, making himself visible to his patrol partner, Petty Officer Conly. The petty officer always complained about his low rank, ranting on and on about how he should be at least be a lieutenant with his almost six years of service.

"There you are! I was worried you might have gotten lost," said Conly. He trotted over to Tavvy. "This is a big city, you know."

"Yeah," Tavvy replied plainly.

Conly straightened his Marine cap. He, like Tavvy, wore the standard Marine outfit, only Tavvy had lost his cap two days ago. The petty officer's front two teeth were both chipped peculiarly, endowing him with a unique whistle. He was a bit taller than Tavvy and nine years older and he often liked to make that very clear.

The two began to walk down a street. Tavvy stuffed his hands into his pockets and tried to look confident and assertive as he searched for trouble.

"Oh! That's right," Conly suddenly said. He turned to Tavvy. "Warrant Officer Rockwell called me just an hour ago. He wants you to go to the Mad Cat's Café down by the Pillar Fountain at noon."

"Isn't it already noon?" asked Tavvy, glancing at Conly's wristwatch.

Conly paled as he confirmed the time. "Uh…you'd better go."

Tavvy had no complaints. He dashed off towards Pillar Fountain, which was in the center of town. It was busy and crowded with people there. The Mad Cat's Café didn't stand out much, but Tavvy had often passed by the place, so he knew where to go. A bell on the door dinged as he entered.

"Howdy!" greeted Bailey upon Tavvy's arrival.

"Bailey!" Tavvy shouted, running over and taking a seat next to the ginger. "What are you doing here?"

"He's here because I told him to be here," Rockwell answered in Bailey's stead. He sat with his arms crossed and didn't look very excited.

To Tavvy's annoyance, Greneland was also there, though as soon as Tavvy had taken a seat, he had moved to the corner of the table farthest away from the white-haired teen.

"So what is this meeting all about?" Bailey asked. He dreaded the answer, but couldn't take the suspense.

Rockwell glared at Bailey. Without answering the question, he took out a pack of cigarettes and lit one. He slid it into his mouth, then resumed his cross-armed position.

Awkward silence settled in. The café's other inhabitants sometimes cast curious glances towards the Marines' table. They wondered why the four were just sitting there, doing nothing.

Finally, Greneland couldn't take it anymore. "Why are we here?" he demanded. Being demoted to seaman recruit had effectively cut Greneland's reputation into little bits and pieces. The little bits and pieces had then been thrown into a raging fire and after they were all warm and toasty, they had been eaten by a crocodile. Or an alligator. Either one worked. The point was, it had been Rockwell who had ratted him out, so Greneland put aside a special distaste for the warrant officer.

Rockwell sighed, blowing out a cloud of smoke as he did so. "I'm still waiting for some more people to show up before explaining," he said.

Right on cue, the door opened with a ding. A woman with long, jet-black hair tied into a sloppy bun stepped into the café. Her right eye was obscured by a medical eye patch. She seemed to glide across the floor as she approached their table.

"You're late, Gloria," Rockwell growled. "Where are the others?"

Tavvy found himself staring into the woman's only visible eye, a whirlpool of captivating violet. He felt as though he was falling into a bottomless pit. Deeper and deeper…

"The other two…are not here," the woman said in a quiet voice. She turned her head to look at Tavvy. A small, bemused smile crossed her lips for a brief moment before disappearing behind an expressionless mask.

"I can see that they're not here!" Rockwell snapped, very irritated indeed.

The door's bell dinged again, alerting everyone to another newcomer. It was a man with neatly combed, strawberry-blonde hair. After glancing around and spotting the group of Marines at the table, he walked over with his signature smile.

"Oh, dear. I seem to be a little late," Genesis remarked in his characteristically feminine voice.

"You don't seem to be a little late; you _are_ late!"

"My, my. What a ferocious temper." The squinty-eyed man tut-tutted disapprovingly at Rockwell.

Rockwell rubbed his temples. There was a reason why he smoked before taking on these people. "Yes, I have a temper when it comes to you three. And speaking of three, where is—"

The door opened once again. Someone darted in and hid under the nearest table.

"There…he is," said Gloria, pointing rather unnecessarily at the figure under the table.

"I can see that." Rockwell sighed again. "Tundra," he called, "what are you doing under that table?"

At the mere mention of Tundra's name, the customers in the café began to talk amongst themselves. "Tundra's here?" "OMG! It's totally him!" "No way! Where?" "Over there!" "Tundra's so handsome!" "And Genesis is cute too in a mysterious way!" "I love you, Gloria! Please autograph my forehead!"

A collective groan rose from the throats of Gloria, Genesis, and Tundra.

"You're a fucking retard!" shouted Tundra angrily, clambering out from under the table and stomping over to Rockwell. "Now look what you've done!" He gestured towards the gawking ladies that had begun to gather around him.

"Oh, Rockwell. This is why you don't have friends," Genesis said with a defeated sigh.

"No one wants to…be friends with a troublemaker," added Gloria, slowly shaking her head.

The three of them stood still for a little while longer before leaving…meaning they smashed through a window a made a run for it.

Tavvy nearly screamed in fright as a crowd surged forward to the window. Most of the people were not athletic enough to hop through a window, so they sprinted out the door. Those who could jump through the window did so and chased after the three escapees with burning-hot determination. Pretty soon, the café was deserted, except for the presence of four Marines.

Bailey blinked. He blinked again. He blinked one more time before asking, "What just happened?"

Rockwell couldn't even answer. His jaw hung just a tad open, allowing his cigarette to fall from his mouth. It burned his arm.

~six hours later~

"Hey, Bailey!"

Bailey turned around to see Oya, the brownie-loving idiot, rushing towards him from the cafeteria. Chocolate residue encircled his mouth, and as he ran, he occasionally licked at his lips to taste the chocolaty goodness.

Bailey had been surprised to learn that Oya was already a petty officer. Of course, he knew the shaggy-haired Marine was strong (even Tavvy recognized his strength), but the guy was so crazy that Bailey thought for sure he would be sent to a mental hospital at any moment. And unfortunately for Bailey, he had ended up as Oya's partner for patrol duty.

"Hey, Oya. What's up?" Bailey asked as Oya drew within earshot.

Oya stopped just in front of Bailey. His breathing was slightly labored, but he managed to grin mischievously. He gave Bailey a thumbs up. "Rockwell's lookin' for ya! Said somethin' 'bout unfinished matters! Ya hafta go to this address!" He slammed a folded sheet of paper into Bailey's hand.

Bailey let out a growl of frustration. He crumpled the paper in his fist. "What? Can't that bossy warrant officer just leave me alone?" he muttered.

Oya smacked Bailey's back in what he seemed to be reassurance, though Bailey wasn't very sure. Then, with a howl of laughter, Oya ran off, shouting, "Bailey's on Rockwell's bad side! Bailey's on Rockwell's bad side!" His dog tags tinkled as he sprinted away.

Wincing, Bailey rubbed his back. Oya really didn't know how to control his strength. Reluctantly and hesitantly, Bailey unfolded the sheet of paper. Despite the many wrinkles he had created, he could still read the address clearly. _2077 MOCRES STREET. BE THERE BY SEVEN._

Mocres Street was a small street that ran through a part of the city far away from the base. Bailey had studied maps of the city, so he knew the general direction of Mocres Street. He glanced at a nearby clock. He had a little over half an hour to get there.

~half an hour later~

"It's Bailey!" shouted Tavvy. He pointed at Bailey excitedly.

"Yes, it's me," Bailey grumbled. He did not point to himself and therefore, he could not point to himself excitedly. In fact, he felt anything but excited.

Greneland was there. So was Rockwell. Tavvy had taken up residence on the grand porch, rocking leisurely on a rocking chair. The porch connected to a house. Well, perhaps house was not the best word.

"What is this place?" Bailey asked, staring dumbly at the mansion before his eyes. He hadn't been aware that people rich enough to afford a mansion lived in this city.

Rockwell rubbed his eyes. "Hell," he answered. "Now that everyone's here, we can proceed." With a heaving sigh, he mounted the steps of the porch and knocked on the door. It swung wide open at his touch, its hinges emitting an eerie creak.

Tavvy peered inside, ducking under Rockwell's outstretched arm. "Whoa. It's pitch black in there," he remarked.

Greneland crossed his arms. "So no one is home. Can I leave now?"

"No." Rockwell stepped through the doorway, beckoning the others to follow.

Greneland scowled. His scowl deepened when Tavvy and Bailey both somehow managed to get stuck in the doorframe. He pushed their backs roughly and smiled smugly as they stumbled forward. Then, he walked through. Suddenly, the lights turned on.

"WHAT THE HELL?" cried Bailey. He, Tavvy, and Rockwell had been captured in a net. They hung from the ceiling in a tangle of limbs.

Greneland recoiled. "How did you manage that?" he shrieked, amazed by the stupidity of the three.

Rockwell found himself at the bottom of the net. It was a very uncomfortable position. "Why are these newbies so heavy?" he muttered to himself.

"Wow! I didn't know people still used net traps!" Tavvy exclaimed, absolutely thrilled with his current predicament.

"Why are you HAPPY?" Bailey demanded. He struggled to maneuver his hand out from under Tavvy's butt. However, Tavvy wasn't going to make it easy for him.

The white-haired adolescent let out a loud hoot and extended his arms above his head, somehow punching both Bailey and Rockwell in the face. "I've never been in a net trap before!" he shouted. "This is so cool!"

Rockwell lashed out, striking Tavvy on the shoulder. "Silence! Find a way to get out of this!" he ordered.

"But this is a once in a lifetime experience! We should savor the moment!" Tavvy countered.

Greneland shook his head in disgust at the scene above him. His eyes traveled up the length of the rope supporting the net. It led to a pulley secured to a high ceiling. The other end of the rope was tied to a metal ring located on the wall near the light switch.

And next to the light switch stood a man dressed as a butler. He looked like a typical butler, sporting a suit, a monocle, and a very large bazooka.

Greneland blinked. A bazooka?

The butler raised his bazooka and pointed it at Greneland and the three others. He adjusted his monocle. "Intruders must perish," he said in a perfectly smooth, butler-like voice.

"What?" Greneland said. He was very confused. Why was a butler pointing a gigantic gun at him? He didn't very much like how the man had said 'perish'.

Bailey had also noticed the man with the bazooka. Unlike Greneland, he did not find reason to ponder over the situation. Rather, he began freaking out. "OH SHIT! HE'S GOING TO FIRE IT!"

"Who's going to fire what?" Tavvy asked.

The butler cleared his throat in a sophisticated manner before beginning his countdown. "Three…"

"W-wait! We're not intruders!"

"Two…"

"Stop it! How dare you point that weapon at me!"

"One…"

"Yay! A countdown! Uh…why is there a countdown?"

"Zero." BOOM!

Greneland coughed, dispelling the glitter from his lips. He looked down at his clothes, which were coated in purple and pink glitter. It was also in his hair, as he confirmed by running his fingers through it and shaking free a storm of glitter.

Tavvy sneezed. He rubbed his eyes, trying to see. Beneath him, Rockwell was choking on the glitter. Bailey wasn't faring too well either. His mouth had been open when the glitter bomb had hit. It had completely filled his mouth.

"My, my. You four look absolutely fabulous!" exclaimed a creepy, feminine voice.

Rockwell's expression turned from absolute shock to absolute fury. "GENESIS!"

"Oh, dear. Temper, temper," Genesis murmured, failing to hide the grin spreading across his face. He gently descended one of the two staircases that led down from the second floor.

"I've been far too lenient with you three! This is THE LAST STRAW!" Rockwell roared. He looked rather pathetic in his current position, but his rage was not to be taken lightly.

Tavvy shifted uncomfortably. He felt as though a pit of hellfire was burning underneath him. He tried to climb a bit higher in the net, but Bailey managed to cough up a bucket load of glitter into his face, causing Tavvy to explode into a fit of sneezing.

"I told you it…was a bad idea, Genesis," came a quiet voice from upstairs. Gloria glided down the steps to join the dimpled man, nodding politely at the butler as she reached the ground. "Jared, please do not agree…to participate in such unruly behavior."

The butler bowed. "I apologize, Miss Gloria."

Gloria waved dismissively. She turned to Genesis, looking at him sternly with her only visible eye. "…Genesis," she began solemnly, "where did you…put my peach juice?"

"FORGET ABOUT THE PEACH JUICE! GET ME DOWN!" Rockwell demanded, his black eyes glaring with the utmost hatred.

With a nod of confirmation from Gloria, the butler untied the rope from the ring and slowly lowered the net and its occupants to the ground. Tavvy and Bailey quickly scurried away, giving Rockwell wide berth.

"I should just send you back to the Grand Line!" spat the warrant officer. "Or better yet, all the way to Impel Down."

Genesis grinned. "Oh, I'm _so_ scared. Please, Rockwell. We both know that is outside of your power."

"We'll see about that."

Gloria held up a hand, silencing a retort from Genesis. "You wanted…to talk, Rockwell. You said…it was important," she said.

"Yes. Yes, it is important." Rockwell sighed tiredly. He glanced around. "Where might Tundra be?"

A loud crash followed by a familiar voice shouting, "WHERE'S MY FUCKING COFFEE?" was his answer.

Tundra ignored the stairs. He vaulted over the banister and jumped straight down, landing in a crouched position. "Jared, I told you to brew me some coffee!" he growled, rising to his full height. He wore a dark blue bathrobe over a t-shirt and mottled gray sweatpants. The bottom of his bathrobe swished dramatically around his legs as he stormed over to the butler.

Jared, the butler, bowed respectfully. "I left it in your room on the bedside table, sir," he said.

Tundra scratched his head. Confusion replaced his anger. "Huh? Really?"

"Yes, sir."

"Oh. That's cool."

"Indeed, sir."

Tundra finally noticed the four strange, glitter-covered people near the front door. "Holy shit! Glitter people!" he cried, reeling backwards in horror.

Genesis took the opportunity to create more trouble. He gasped loudly and hugged Tundra's arm, his face displaying an expression of mock fright. "Oh, Tundra! These glitter people appeared out of nowhere! They are planning to take over the world with their…glittery-ness!"

"Their…glittery-ness?"

"Their glittery-ness."

Tundra stared at Genesis for a long time, as if debating his next course of action. Genesis waited patiently. Finally, after minutes of deliberation, Tundra turned and ran deeper into the house. Genesis followed, waving his arms and screaming, "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Jared, interpreting this as an order, calmly wiggled his arms around and ran away, leaving Gloria alone with the glitter-covered people. The one-eyed woman sighed reluctantly, stuck her arms into the air, and darted after the others.

The god of awkward silence entered the room.

"I don't even…that was…what the heck?" An intense headache had developed inside Bailey's skull. He found a wall and banged his head against it.

"Don't do that, Bailey! You could die, you know," Tavvy said in all seriousness. He sneezed again, creating a cloud of glitter around his head.

Greneland had taken out a handkerchief and was cleaning the glitter from his face and clothes. "Filthy! Filthy, filthy, filthy!" he muttered as he worked.

Bailey finally stopped banging his head against the wall. "What am I even doing here?" he moaned.

"You're here because you want to be my awesome Marine sidekick partner!" Tavvy answered.

Bailey glowered at the white-haired teen. "Yeah…no." He noticed Rockwell had disappeared. A trail of glittery footprints led under the left staircase. Hesitantly, Bailey followed them.

"Hey, wait for me!" cried Tavvy. He bounded after his friend.

The footprints continued down a long hallway, which was hidden by the staircase if viewed from the entrance to the mansion. The hallway ended at a glass door leading outside, but the footprints led to a set of double doors on one wall of the corridor. There was quite a lot of water on the tiled floor of the hallway. It had displaced much of the glitter. Bailey was about to reach out and open the doors when a square of the ceiling above him opened up and dumped ice-cold water onto him.

Tavvy was also captured in the torrent. He screeched with the sudden cold and began shivering uncontrollably. A towel landed on top of his head. Gratefully, he wrapped it around his shoulders. Bailey had received one too and did the same.

The doors opened. Tavvy and Bailey were greeted by a variety of gun barrels.

"Surrender, glitter people!" Genesis said with obvious glee. "We, GPES, have been assigned your immediate extermination."

Tavvy raised his hand. "I have a question!" he said.

"Oh?"

"Yeah. What does GPES stand for?"

"Glitter People Extermination Squad."

"Okay! Thanks for clearing that up."

Bailey grabbed his own hand to restrain himself from slapping Tavvy across the face. He wasn't sure why this was happening to him. After all, what had he done to deserve this? There were guns pointed at him by a butler, a creeper, a forgetful Marine, and a one-eyed scary lady. What's more, they were all wearing really cool shades.

"Hold on," said Tundra, relaxing his gunning stance. "They're not covered in glitter. How are they glitter people?"

"Hmm. Yes, it was a bad idea to wash the glitter away beforehand," Genesis murmured. He reached behind him and pulled out the same bazooka the butler had used. "Well, this can be easily resolved." He didn't even aim before firing.

Bailey dove out of the way and hid behind a couch. Tavvy barely dodged by making friends with a large potted plant. However, Greneland, who had decided to find where everyone had gone and had ended up in the doorway, was hit by the full blast. This was particularly tragic, since he had just ridded himself of the previous load of glitter.

For once, both Bailey and Tavvy felt bad for Greneland.

* * *

><p>What we have learned from this chapter: net traps are awesome, glitter is hazardous for your health, and never trust a dimpled man who sounds like a woman.<p>

This is more of a filler chapter, a prelude to the havoc to come, so bear with my slowness. Next chapter will have lots a' good ol' brawling with Sammy and co.


	31. Target Arc: A dude with six arms

~Sammy~

"We're going on a devil hunt!"

"Up the hills and over the streams!"

"We're going on a devil hunt!"

"To hear the devils scream!"

Noelle plugged her ears. Sammy and the Constellar Pirates were having the time of their lives singing their made-up song. What made it worse was that they were all exactly on pitch. They paraded down the street, not caring at all for the ruckus they made.

"We're going on a devil hunt!"

"Pack your bags! We're off on a trip!"

"We're going on a devil hunt!"

"Make sure you don't forget your sunscreen, your bug spray, your hand sanitizer, your shampoo, your—"

"Oh, shut up Tauris."

"You're ruining the soooong! You suuuuck!"

Tauris's shoulders slumped. He rubbed his arm subconsciously and couldn't look anyone in the eye. The big fellow proceeded to look absolutely crestfallen.

Sammy looked very pale, yet still very exuberant. He began a new verse: "We're going on a devil hunt!"

"Growl, cackle, tumble, and spit!" sang Skorpio.

"We're going on a devil hunt!"

Cross opened his mouth, but instead of lyrics, this came out of his mouth: "Holy crap! It's a dude with six arms!"

Immediately, Skorpio stopped and crouched low, his jaw clenched tightly. He narrowed his eyes at the dark form emerging out of an alleyway. Sure enough, it had six arms. Silently, Skorpio signaled to Kanser and Cross. The two nodded, but before they did anything else, the approaching figure split into three figures.

"Holy crap!" Cross repeated. "It just turned into three dudes with two arms!"

The three dudes with two arms attacked.

"Holy crap!" Cross repeated yet again. "They're attacking!"

"I would never have guessed," Noelle muttered to herself.

With an exhilarated hoot, Sammy shouted, "Everybody dance now!"

Everyone stared at him weirdly.

"Uh, I meant, everybody attack now!"

Cross pounded his fist into his other hand, a figurative light bulb appearing over his head. "That makes much more sense!"

"Of course it does! I said it!"

"Oh! That also makes sense!"

"I know."

By the time Cross and Sammy finished their short conversation, Tauris and Skorpio had already beaten the attackers into unconsciousness. Tauris hefted the three limp bodies over his shoulder, then thought for a while before dumping them back on the ground. He had had enough of carrying people around for one day. His back was sore.

"There's something weird about these people," Skorpio mused, tapping his chin thoughtfully. He squatted down and lifted the eyelid of one of the attackers.

Cross leaned in. "What is it, Skorp?"

"His eyes are brown."

Aquario also peered down at the man. "Soooo? What's so special about brown eyes?" she asked.

Skorpio let the man's eyelid slip back into its natural resting position. He tapped his chin again. "Well, they were golden just a few moments ago." He turned around to face Kanser. "You know what that means, right?"

Cross and Aquario and Sammy took some time to look very confused indeed.

"Yeah," Kanser answered, nodding slowly. It was hard to tell the emotion in his eyes. "Looks like there's Reikonshoku Haki at work."

~somewhere else in town~

"Captain."

Très Bien opened his eyes, a scowl appearing on his face. "What is it, Tristan?"

A man with incredibly long eyelashes stepped into the lamplight. "I'm afraid the capabilities of the crew we captured are not competent for this task," he said.

"I can see that, Tristan." The captain paused. "Do you have any other obvious things to say, or shall I just order you to send out those five?"

A meek smile graced the other man's lips. "Do I have to do it in person?" he asked, a twinge of fear leaking into his words.

Très Bien also smiled. "I do believe my question was rhetorical."

~with Sammy and co.~

"So, you can control other people with Haki?" Noelle asked, quite fascinated by this subject. For once, she didn't find Skorpio unbearably annoying as he explained the attackers' golden eyes.

"Yes. By dominating other people's wills, you can control them. To what extent you can control them depends on how much stronger your own will is."

Sammy frowned. "That's scary," he murmured. Nobody, save for Nai, heard him.

"Wow, Skorpio. How do you know about this?" asked Tauris, apparently in supreme awe of his captain. The large man's eye glittered in admiration.

Skorpio's face darkened. He did not seem so happy to have this knowledge. "My father." He didn't explain any further.

Kanser distractedly picked at a pimple on his face. "Oh, this is bad, Skorp. We're up against a Puppeteer. Puppeteers are bad, bad people to go up against," he said, shaking his head from side to side. His worry seemed to affect Tauris, who began shivering.

Nai's ears perked at Kanser's words. His eyes widened. "Did you say Puppeteer?"

"That's what people call Haki users who can control people."

"Oh!" Cross exclaimed. "I remember the doctors saying something about a really, really horrible Puppeteer who was once a king!" He turned to Aquario, who also looked as if she had just experienced a eureka moment.

"That was the day we had that big cotton candy PAAAARTY!"

"Yeah! That was awesome!"

Nai fainted right then and there.

Everyone stared at the fair-haired boy, unsure of how to react.

"Is he okay? Should we wake him up or something?" Tauris asked, lightly scratching his cheek with a finger.

"I don't know. He looks kind of skinny. Maybe he needs some food," said Skorpio.

"Yes, food! Everyone needs food!" Sammy agreed.

Kanser tapped Skorpio on the shoulder. "Uh, Skorp? Kanser could be mistaken, but it looks like we have more company." He gestured to the dozen or so people shambling forward.

Skorpio smirked. "They don't feel strong at all," he said with a flick of his auburn hair. "Kanser, you and Tauris can take care of them on your own. The rest of us can find a place to lay Nai down."

Kanser and Tauris nodded. Tauris cracked his knuckles and lunged ahead, only to be stopped by a figure from the shadows.

"You can't hurt 'em! They're my crew. You can't hurt my crew!" screamed the man who Skorpio had almost killed. He waved his arms around, as if he believed they alone could stop a crab and a big, muscular man.

Kanser punched the crazed captain in the face with a crab claw. The man fell, but managed to scramble back to his feet. He glowered at Kanser, then Skorpio, before running towards his crew with open arms.

"That idiot!" hissed Skorpio. He whipped around. "Cross, save him before his own crew kills him!"

Cross moved forward at his captain's orders, but it looked bleak for the other pirate captain, who hadn't seemed to notice the strange behavior of his crew.

"Hanson! Tertio! Oh, I thought I'd never see you guys ever again!" The man made to embrace one of the golden-eyed men, only to earn a jab to the stomach.

Cross hopped in before another of the golden-eyed pirates could slice off his captain's hand. He hadn't retrieved his cross from the alley where he had stowed it away, so he had to kick and punch his way through the controlled pirates. The doctor grabbed the collar of his rescue target and yanked him out of the fray, grunting with the effort. The pirates surged forward.

"Alright. I got him, Skorp!" Cross called as he ran back, dragging along the older pirate captain. The doctor dumped the pirate captain on the ground to join the other three unconscious pirates.

Tauris pointed at Cross's face. "Hey, Cross. You're b—"

Skorpio slammed his elbow into Tauris's gut. "Okay, let's move out. Remember, Tauris and Kanser, you guys are staying behind," he ordered. For some reason, he seemed desperate to get away.

Sammy couldn't understand why Skorpio was so desperate until he saw the Cross touch his own cheek and stare at the blood that had transferred to his hand.

"On second thought," began Skorpio, hefting Nai over his shoulder, "Cross and Aquario, you two stay behind. Kanser and Tauris, let's run!"

Aquario pouted. "I don't waaaant to stay behind!" she whined.

Kanser remedied the issue by pulling the reptilian creature from Aquario's hair and placing its head near Aquario's arm. The animal sank its fangs into the flesh of Aquario's arm. After Draeco opened its mouth again, Kanser hurriedly threw him back into Aquario's hair.

"Okay, let's go Skorp!" shouted the first mate. Then he realized Skorpio was already several yards ahead. A pimple on his chin popped as Kanser's jaw dropped in shock of being left behind. "Wait for Kanser!"

Sammy had also decided to run and Noelle was right on his heels. Both Sammy and Noelle really did not like the idea of running from their enemies, but in this case, it wasn't the enemies they were worried about.

Cross licked the blood off his fingers. Rage creased his brow. "WHO DID IT?" he howled. "WHO SPILLED MY BLOOD?"

Aquario's eyes seemed to glow. "Heeeey, Cross-oooo?"

Cross turned, his own golden-brown eyes gleaming in the dark. The anger in his features did not diminish. He gripped his own wrist, as if straining to keep himself in check. "Are you the one who spilled my blood?"

Aquario smiled. It was a horrifying smile and if Cross had been in his right mind, he would have run in terror. But he wasn't in his right mind, and neither was Aquario.

"PAAAARTY TIIIIME!"

~with Sammy and Skorpio~

"Where did you find those two people?" Sammy asked as they ran through the dark, abandoned streets.

"Insane asylum," Skorpio answered, only now beginning to feel the strain of Nai's weight on his back. His breathing became slightly labored.

Sammy frowned. "What's going to happen?"

"Aquario is a bit stronger than Cross, and she also has the most control over herself when she enters crazy mode. It'll be a close fight. They'll eventually calm down, but not before destroying everything around them. They'll also be really tired, so we can count them out of any further battles tonight."

Sammy suppressed the urge to turn around and break up the fight. He could tell Aquario and Cross were not your average pirates. He could also tell that if he faced the both of them at the same time, he would be killed, or at least severely injured. They were on a completely different level compared to what they were only a few moments ago.

"That's crazy! You have an awesome crew!" Sammy exclaimed.

Skorpio managed a grin. "You said it, Joker!"

They ducked into an alley. Skorpio's back ached. He now understood why Tauris disliked carrying people. With an exhalation of relief, the captain set Nai's limp form down onto the paved ground. A groan escaped from the boy as his face met the cold concrete, but he remained unconscious.

"Wait. Where's Noelle?" Sammy asked, realizing his chef was nowhere in sight.

"And where's Kanser?" Skorpio peaked out of the alley, finding only an empty street.

Tauris raised his hand. "I'm here!"

Skorpio looked at the large man. His face displayed no indication of approval at Tauris's presence. "Yeah. You are here and Kanser is not."

~with Noelle and Kanser~

Kanser screamed a fear-invoking war cry as he charged at the man with the baseball bat. Unfortunately, his war cry didn't seem to have invoked enough fear, for the other pirate blocked Kanser's claw easily.

"Hoho! This should be fun!" said the man with the baseball bat. "You're 'Crusher Claw' Kanser. Your bounty is three million beli. Not that much, but it will still count for something! Hoho!"

"What? Another weird person?" Noelle muttered.

"Don't say that, lil' missy. Figment isn't weird, he just has odd tastes."

Noelle whirled around and caught a glimpse of a flickering shadow. "And you are?" she asked into the darkness.

"Exactly what you see, lil' missy." Noelle felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up tall. "I am a shadow."

Noelle backed up until she her back met Kanser's. The two briefly glanced at each other over their shoulders before turning their attentions back to their respective enemies.

"Don't get in Kanser's way," Kanser warned in a low tone.

Noelle smirked as she strengthened the grip on her kitchen knives. "As long as you stay out of my way."

~somewhere else in town~

The man with the long eyelashes walked into the warehouse covered in blood.

Très Bien looked up from the wanted posters in his hands. He frowned at the sight of the other man. "Tristan. You look horrible," he remarked.

"I know," Tristan replied with a heaving sigh. "There was a rebellious prisoner. He ruined my shoes. I had to fix him."

"I see."

Tristan glanced down at the mess on his clothes before pulling his sweater vest over his head, folding it, then tucking it under his arm. He found a cigarette in his pocket and lit it with a lighter. After a few puffs, he moved closer to his captain. "The five seemed very excited. It's been a while since they participated in a hunt."

"Yes, I know. Keep your hunting dogs starved. That's how things go."

Tristan glanced at one of the wanted posters his captain held. "That's a high bounty for someone so young," he murmured.

Très Bien held up the poster with the highest bounty. "This one? They say his bounty is so high because he shattered the sheath of a commodore's sword."

Tristan raised his eyebrows. "They gave him a bounty for breaking a sheath?" He raised a dubious eyebrow.

"It's not about the sheath," said the captain of the Blood Berry Pirates. "It's about the commodore to whom the sheath belonged. A Three Seventeenth Commodore."

"The Impaler?"

"No."

"The Strangler?"

"No."

Tristan paled. "_Cavalry_?"

Très Bien nodded absentmindedly. "It's impressive no matter how much I think about it."

A twitch in Tristan's eye made his eyelashes quiver. "It's more than impressive!" he exclaimed, his hands gesturing wildly. "How are we supposed to take down someone who almost took down Cavalry?"

Suddenly, a chill entered the warehouse. A silver blade came to rest at Tristan's throat.

"Hello, Tristan," purred a soft, almost inaudible voice.

Tristan gulped. "Hello, Mirage."

The silver blade moved up Tristan's neck and tapped lightly on his cheek. "You won't have to worry about the targets. First of all, the boy didn't even come _close_ to defeating Cavalry. He was just lucky to break the sheath. Second…" A warm breath brushed Tristan's ear. "I'm stronger than Cavalry, so it shouldn't be a problem, right?"

In a movement too quick for the human eye to register, the silver blade left its owner's hand and sliced into the wanted poster that Très Bien had continued to hold up, ripping the paper in half. Très Bien, not in the least bit startled by this, watched as the bottom half of the poster drifted to the ground. It read:

_**WANTED**_

_**DEAD OR ALIVE**_

_**SASORIZA D. SKORPIO**_

_**21,000,000— BELI**_

~with Sammy and Skorpio~

Skorpio smiled. He removed his weapon from the now dead body and shook it clean. "Ah, silly me. I should have interrogated him first. What a pathetic fellow. He couldn't even stand a few stab wounds."

"You killed him." Sammy felt that painfully familiar tug on his heart that he always felt in the presence of death. He could never forget the first time he had felt that tug. Ten years, and the pain still showed no signs of lessening.

"Yeah, I killed him, Joker. What are you going to do about it?" taunted Skorpio, flourishing his oversized sickle in front of his face. The smooth metal of the sickle seemed to suck in what little light was available at this time of night.

Sammy slowly raised a fist, his face betraying no emotion, but his voice dripping with it. "I'm going to beat you up."

At this, Skorpio howled with laughter. "Go ahead!" he shouted, pounding his chest with his free hand. He fixed Sammy with a piercing, icy-blue stare, eerily clear through his long, auburn bangs. "Just try!"

So Sammy summoned all his willpower into his limbs and with a low growl, swung his fist at the captain of the Constellar Pirates. His punch connected solidly with Skorpio's abdomen. However, the auburn-haired teenager didn't even flinch. Instead, he grinned.

"Is that all you got, Joker?"

Sammy watched, his eyes wide, as a hand crept out from the folds of Skorpio's kimono. Another hand followed, then another, and another. Skorpio took a step back and shrugged off the upper part of his garment with the help of the hands, the silk falling to his sides to reveal his bare torso. Well, it wasn't exactly bare.

Sammy leapt backwards, gritting his teeth, completely unnerved. His breathing wouldn't calm and his eyes kept shifting away from the strange sight before him. "How did I not see it?" he hissed to himself.

With a soft chuckle, Skorpio stretched all six of his arms. "Surprised?" he asked, casually tossing out the word. Without waiting for a reply, for he expected none, Skorpio reached behind his back and produced seven more sickles. He kept five in his hands and tossed the remaining two onto the ground. He kicked off his geta and his feet, with their unusually dexterous toes, gripped the handles of the sickles tightly.

More often than not, surprises were very unpleasant. This counted as one of those unpleasant surprises. But another surprise for Sammy was the fact that he was not in the least bit scared. Compared to Cross and Aquario in their crazy states, Skorpio was definitely weaker. He was strong, but not terrifyingly so. As Sammy understood this, he began to smile.

"I can tell this is gonna be fun!"

* * *

><p>I'm alive! Sorry for being so slow, everyone! At least it's a double upload. You guys should probably reread the last few chapters to refresh your memory or something, especially for this Sammy chapter.<p>

Skorpio has six arms! Bet you didn't see that coming. And I think I promised brawling this chapter, but it'll have to wait for next time. I wasn't planning on showing scenes with Très Bien and that really broke up the flow.


	32. Mutual Suffering

~Tavvy~

"Ah." Tundra scratched his head. "So there aren't glitter people trying to take over the world?"

Genesis grinned. "I might have exaggerated a little," he said innocently.

Gloria sighed. "You…lied. You should…apologize to everyone."

The smile slid off Genesis's face. "Apologize? To everyone? I will do no such thing," he spat.

"At least…apologize to Tundra," Gloria said.

The smile reappeared. "Oh, of course!" Genesis turned to Tundra. "I'm sorry, Tundra. What I did to you was cruel and heartless. Won't you forgive me?" With every word, he leaned closer and closer, his smile growing wider and wider.

Tundra yelped and backed into Gloria. "You're creepy! Get away from me!"

Gloria slowly shook her head. She moved to the spot on the couch between Tundra and Genesis, to Tundra's relief and Genesis's disappointment. After that matter was settled, she turned her attention to the people sitting across from her. "I will apologize for…myself and for Genesis. But please do not blame…Tundra and Jared for this mess," she said, bowing her head.

"I'm b-blaming all t-three of you," Rockwell growled, his teeth chattering. There were angry red marks on his skin where he had been hit by foam darts. He sat in a large armchair. To his right, Tavvy, Bailey, and Greneland had been crammed into a couch meant for two. The three of them were too busy shivering to mind.

"You blame everyone for your misfortunes. Everyone except for yourself." Genesis glanced down at his fingernails before turning a squinty, taunting gaze towards Rockwell.

Rockwell glowered with his dark eyes, but did not lose his temper. He crossed one leg over the other and clasped his hands together. "We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way," he said.

Genesis grinned. "I didn't know we could have a choice," he sneered.

Gloria sighed again. "At least try…to cooperate, Genesis," she murmured.

"No."

Gloria went ahead and punched Genesis in the jaw with a quick jab of her fist. The squinty-eyed man seemed unfazed by the sudden blow, the smile persisting on his lips, but everyone could see that his jaw was dislocated. Genesis gently wrapped a hand around his chin and clicked his jaw back into place.

"Was that really necessary, Gloria?"

"…Yes." Gloria calmly picked up her glass of peach juice and took a small sip.

"Hey, uh, this might be a really stupid question," began Bailey, nervously picking at loose thread of a cushion, "but who are you people?"

A shrill giggle bubbled out from Genesis. The dimpled man's grin spread to an unfathomable width.

"What the hell is with this creepy guy? Can we get some kind of restraining order on him?" exclaimed Tundra, nearly toppling from his seat as he tried to move as far away from Genesis as possible. He shrieked in fright when Genesis leaned over Gloria's lap and gave Tundra a creepy grin.

"Genesis, there are…innocent little children here," Gloria said with a sigh. She pushed Genesis away. "Do I need…to punch you again?"

"Of course not, but I know you'll do it anyways."

"You know…me too well."

Gloria punched Genesis again. The squinty-eyed man barely acknowledged the blow. He opened and closed his mouth experimentally. After finding no serious damage, he licked his lips. "You didn't break it. I'm impressed, Gloria," he remarked.

"Could we return the main topic of this meeting?" Rockwell growled impatiently.

Genesis, Gloria, and Tundra all looked at Rockwell in surprise.

"Now that I come to think of it, why _are_ you here, Rockwell?" Genesis asked, sounding both curious and hostile at the same time.

Rockwell hissed through clenched teeth. "If you had just let me talk, we would have gone over this a hundred times already." He rubbed his temples, awaiting some snarky remark. When no such remark greeted his ears, Rockwell hid his shock and pointed to where Bailey, Greneland and Tavvy sat. "It's about those three."

Tavvy, who had been busy pulling the threads out of his cushion, looked up abruptly as the finger pointed in his general direction. "Us three?" He glanced to his right and left, noticing Greneland and Bailey. "Wait…you mean _us_?"

"Ah…the children," Gloria murmured.

"Yes. I want you to teach them how to work together."

Genesis grinned. "I see. So you want us to—" He broke off. The smile slid off his face like a soaked sponge sliding down a window.

Gloria choked on her peach juice. "…_What?_"

"Looks like someone took the wrong drugs today," Tundra grumbled, scratching the back of his head.

"I'm serious," Rockwell stated, a deep crease starting to form in his brow.

Genesis grimaced. "You do know that only makes it worse, don't you?"

"And how exactly is it a bad thing?"

Genesis shot Rockwell an incredulous look. "We read that report, Rockwell," he said. "We know what happened on Ravioli Island."

"It was like reading…a manual for failure," Gloria elaborated.

Rockwell rolled his eyes. "People can improve," he said bluntly.

Gloria and Genesis both shook their heads.

"Teamwork isn't something that's taught, Rockwell. You of all people should know that," Genesis countered with a sinister smile. He leaned back on the couch and clasped his hands behind his head.

"I know that!" Rockwell snapped irritably. He remembered to keep his tone in check and cleared his throat. "Teamwork is something that is facilitated. You three are the best trio in East Blue, so you of people should know that." He raised his eyebrows in challenge.

Gloria narrowed her eyes…er…eye. "Do not…flatter us, Rockwell. This is…an impossible task," she murmured.

"We know your career as a Marine has just about reached its limit, but that is no reason to take your frustration out on innocent people," Genesis added. He flourished his hand aimlessly. "You should relax for the next few years. Pick up a good hobby. Dog breeding, perhaps?"

Rockwell stood up abruptly. "Well, now you're just mocking me," he hissed.

Genesis's smile glittered in the light. "And what if I am?" he taunted.

"This is…going nowhere," said Gloria, sighing again.

Bailey also stood up. "Wait. Hold on. I'm not sure what's going on, but there's no way I'm working with _those _two." He pointed at Greneland and Tavvy.

"Well, it's not as if I want to work with you either!" Greneland spat with uncontained disdain.

"I'm okay with working with Bailey, but there's no way I can work with Green-Guy!" said Tavvy.

Bailey rounded on Tavvy. "I'm _not_ okay with working with you! You and Green-Guy are both stuck up and insensitive. I'd rather be with Oya!"

Tavvy gasped while Greneland shouted, "What kind of a nickname is Green-Guy?"

"But Bailey, we're best buddies! You're going to be my ultimate sidekick!" Tavvy said, his eyes beginning to water.

Bailey threw his hands into the air. "This is exactly what I mean! I don't want to be a sidekick, let alone _your_ sidekick! You always think you're so great when all you really did at Ravioli Island was MESS UP!"

"YOU MESSED UP TOO!"

"You both messed up! If you two had followed my plan, which, by the way, was the correct plan—"

"You can shut up!"

"How dare you speak to me like that?"

"I can speak to you however I want."

"Oh, really?"

A familiar wave of scalding-hot coffee drenched the arguing threesome, also splashing onto Genesis, Gloria, and Rockwell.

Amidst the screams of agony, Tundra scratched his head and peered into his coffee mug. "Damn. Need to get more coffee," he muttered. He walked out the room, opening the double doors with just one foot. "Jared? Where the hell are you? Jared, I need more coffee!"

Gloria used a cushion to dab at her arm, wincing as the fabric irritated her newly burned skin. Using another cushion, Genesis did the same.

"No concept…of friendly fire," Gloria murmured to herself.

Genesis simply grinned, though the grin broke into a grimace as he accidentally brushed too hard with the cushion.

Luckily for Rockwell, he had managed to escape the worst of the coffee with only a stain on his leg to show for the incident. He muttered something about inconsiderate commodores and decaffeinated coffee before straightening himself and facing the three Seaman Recruits, who had suffered the worst from the coffee. Naturally.

"I can see that this has been a waste of time. Honestly, I don't know why I thought this was a good idea," said the Warrant Officer, though he sounded rather reluctant.

Gloria sighed. "There are times when it…is best to simply give up," she agreed.

"Especially when it comes to three children who cannot play together without spilling my sweet Tundra's coffee," Genesis added. He turned his squinty gaze to the Seaman Recruits. "Such a pity, darlings."

Gloria shook her head. "It should have been…obvious after Ravioli Island, Rockwell. It isn't normal for three…people to create such a catastrophe."

Greneland couldn't take the insult anymore. "At…at least we tried!" he spluttered, momentarily forgetting his burns.

"Yeah!" Tavvy said, loudly and confidently. Then, his voice dwindled. "We tried."

Bailey, who had been glaring at the floor, suddenly looked up. "Ravioli Island wasn't even fair!" he said, jabbing a finger into his other palm. "We didn't have any experience whatsoever. How were we supposed to know what to do? You seriously need to reconsider your management."

Rockwell rolled his eyes. "Life isn't fair and complaining won't get you anywhere," he retorted. He made towards the doors, only to have them burst open in his face.

Tundra lowered his leg. He had obviously kicked the doors open. Upon seeing Rockwell lying on the ground, dazed by his sudden encounter with the wood, the commodore said, "What are you doing lying on the ground like that?"

The warrant officer, finding some kind of inner strength, managed to sit up. "What are doing kicking doors open like that?" he hissed.

"I just wanted to tell you that we'll do it."

"Well can't you do it more…" Rockwell trailed off as he began to comprehend Tundra's words. "What did you say?"

"I said, we'll do it."

Rockwell blinked. "Do what?"

"The whole annual-bible-study-campfire-animated-series-theme- song-remix-reloaded-with-squirrels-and-acorns-thin gy."

Rockwell continued to stare blankly.

"Or was it teaching three dumbasses how to work together? I don't know. I forgot." The commodore scratched his head, which only served to deepen his confusion as he pondered over what he had just said.

Gloria and Genesis seemed to not want Tundra to straighten his thoughts.

"Don't be silly, Tundra. We've never been to bible camp before," Genesis said. His tone was so creepy that Tavvy only barely detected the nervousness underneath.

"And you…don't like squirrels," said Gloria.

Tundra narrowed his eyes. "I don't like squirrels?"

"You hate them!"

"Uh…alright."

Unfortunately for Genesis and Gloria, Rockwell had no intention of letting this opportunity pass. "You'll really do it?" he asked.

Tundra shrugged. "Sure."

Rockwell looked dubious. "Why?"

"Yes. Why, Tundra?" Genesis asked in a defeated voice.

"…Why?" Gloria seemed ready to commit suicide.

"Why?" At this point of time, Greneland looked even more confused than Tundra.

"Why?" Bailey also wanted to know why.

"Why!" Tavvy said it just for the heck of it.

"Why?" Tundra was very, very confused about why these people were saying "why".

"Why?" Jared had appeared in the doorway holding a pot of coffee.

Awkward silence.

"I don't even remember why I asked why," Bailey said with sudden realization.

Tavvy laughed. "Wow, that's funny."

Jared poured Tundra a cup of coffee.

"Thanks, Jared."

The butler bowed. "You're welcome, sir."

Rockwell ran a hand through his coppery hair, sighing as he did so. After muttering something about squirrels and memory loss, he said, "I asked why you agreed to my request."

The room fell silent once again.

Tundra sat down on a couch and sipped his coffee while raising an eyebrow at Rockwell. "You're not even as smart as Jared…whoever you are. Jared, you tell him."

Jared bowed. "It would be a pleasure, sir." The butler cleared his throat, sounding very official indeed. "In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue." He then bowed again.

"That is not…what he meant, Jared," Gloria murmured, placing a hand to her forehead in exasperation.

Jared frowned, then cleared his throat again. He turned to Rockwell. "Sir Tundra has agreed to your request because the three Seaman Recruits have the potential to act as a team. If you would recall their words from several minutes ago, all three referred to themselves as 'we' instead of 'I'. This demonstrates the recognition of a group and as we all should know, this is the very basic element of forming a team. Thus, there is the possibility of success if effort is put into strengthening the bonds between the members of this group and transforming the group into a team." The butler bowed once again and pivoted to face Tundra. "Was that a satisfactory explanation, sir?"

The commodore scratched his head, obviously confused. "Uh, I didn't understand what you said…but you sounded very professional, so good job."

"Why thank you, sir."

"Don't mention it." Tundra took another sip of coffee.

Rockwell couldn't help but smile smugly, despite the confusion of his colleague. He pointedly looked at Genesis and Gloria, who couldn't meet his gaze. "Well, it's settled then. Do you two have anything else to add?"

"I do," said Bailey. He pointed at Genesis and Gloria. "No one ever told me who those two creeps—I mean—people are."

At this, Genesis instantly brightened. "Oh, my. The little one doesn't know who we are, dear Gloria." The grin returned to his face, as creepy as ever.

"These are such…sad times, Genesis."

Rockwell rolled his eyes. "I hate to break the suspense, but shouldn't you already know who your superiors are in this base?" he asked of Bailey.

"I don't get what you mean."

"They're the commodores! The Three Seventeenth Commodores!" Greneland yelled, unable to handle the constant delay. "The most pretentious idiots in East Blue! Everyone knows that!"

Bailey paled. These two were commodores? Who promoted these creepy people to commodore status? The same person who promoted Tundra? If so, where was this stupid promoter and why hadn't he been executed yet?

As those thoughts whirled around in Bailey's head, the ginger-haired Seaman Recruit couldn't help but shiver. Now that he knew the identities of these three people, they seemed to give off a certain aura that drew out the worst of his fears. Even Tundra, who Bailey wanted to believe was just a lucky idiot, looked much more menacing with the two creepers at his side.

And to think he would be taught by them to form a team with Tavvy and Greneland. Of all the people in the world, he was stuck with these freaks.

~the next day~

"My name…is Gloria. I am in…charge of laundry. My specialty…is impaling."

"My name is Genesis. I'm the janitor and my specialty is strangling."

"My name is Tundra and where's the coffee room?"

Gloria sighed. Genesis giggled. Tundra scratched his head.

"Alright! Introductions are over. Any questions?"

"What am I doing here?" Bailey wondered aloud. He was dangling upside-down from a rope. Underneath his head, a vat of green goo bubbled. Tavvy and Greneland were in similar situations.

"Free yourselves in an hour, otherwise it's game over!" Genesis sang. With a departing wink, he sauntered out of the laundry room, followed by Gloria, then Tundra.

Greneland tried to reach his feet where the rope had been bound, but it proved too difficult, so he let himself hang freely again. "So this is mutual suffering," he said dully.

"I guess this is the best they could come up with," Bailey offered.

"No, they just want to torture us."

"Yeah, you're right." Bailey paused. "Am I actually agreeing with you? Holy shit, is this mutual suffering thing actually working?"

"I honestly don't care! Just find a way to get free before we all die."

Bailey began swinging himself back and forth. The rope around his ankles was attached to an overarching metal beam, which was supported by two wooden posts anchored to the ground. If he could just swing himself onto the beam, he could untie himself and avoid the nasty fate of death by toxic waste.

Tavvy had a similar idea, but he was swinging side to side and hoping to grab onto one of the wooden poles before climbing up to the beam.

Greneland was too tired to do anything except wait for someone to rescue him from this predicament. It would have been a very solid plan if not for the doubt in his mind that neither Tavvy nor Bailey would help him if and once they freed themselves.

With that happy thought, Greneland stared at his surroundings. He saw someone hiding in a washing machine.

"You! Yes, you! Why are you hiding in a washing machine?"

The person cautiously opened the washing machine door and stepped out. He glanced around before letting out a sigh of relief. "Oh, good. They left." He walked over to the vats of goo and the people suspended above them. "Hello, I do believe we've met before. I'm Liber Freed."

Tavvy pointed at the man, his mouth hanging open despite the laws of gravity. "You're the one with the scary underwear!" he shouted. With his concentration broken, the white-haired teen smacked into one of the wooden poles. "Ouch. That hurt."

"Careful now," said Freed. "But yeah, I was the one on the ship. The one who got tossed to the Sea Kings. Yep, that's me." He tried to look upbeat, but only succeeded in making a very sad face. At least he had clothes on instead of just some scary underwear.

Bailey brightened. "Hey, could you free us? We'll…uh…reward you if you do," he offered.

Freed mulled over it. "I guess I could help you guys, seeing as we're all suffering right now. But I just don't want to get further into Commodore Genesis's bad side. He already hates my guts, you see," he explained.

"Don't worry. We'll cover for you," said Bailey, rather too quickly.

Freed continued to look unsure. "I don't know…" he mumbled.

Greneland nearly tore his hair out in frustration. "Just act now and regret later. Get us down, already!"

Freed hesitated one moment long before finally nodding his head. "Okay. Hold still. You're first, Lieutenant."

"He's actually a Seaman Recruit now," said Bailey, snickering at the distress on Greneland's face at being reminded of his nine-rank demotion.

"Is that right? Well, I can just call you by name then, seeing as I'm your superior now." Freed looked very smug at the moment. He found some crates stacked beside one of the washing machines and built a makeshift flight of stairs to the metal beam. He clambered onto the beam and pulled Greneland up by the rope. Once Greneland had settled onto the beam, Freed took out a pocketknife and swiftly cut the rope, freeing Greneland's legs.

Reluctantly, Greneland thanked Freed and descended the crate-stairs. Freed then repeated the process with the other Seaman Recruits.

"Well, this means you three each owe me a favor," said Freed. He flashed a triumphant smile, glad that at least something was working out in his life.

Bailey rubbed his ankles. "Yeah. A big favor. Thanks, man."

Tavvy didn't say anything. In truth, he had wanted to escape with his own power, but he didn't want to be the only one struggling when the other two had escaped through a much easier solution.

"Now what are we supposed to do?" Greneland asked, glancing around the laundry room. The uniform rows of washing machines were somewhat intimidating.

Bailey shrugged. "Stay here, I guess. They'll probably be surprised to see us not dead."

At that moment, someone decided to burst into the laundry room. The door was nearly ripped off its hinges as a man barreled through, panting heavily.

"HEY, YOU MOTHAFUCKAS! WHERE'S CAVALRY?" shouted the large man, whose face was obstructed by a welding mask.

Tavvy shook his head. "He's not here."

The stranger bent backwards, as if yelling to the heavens. "WHAT? THAT SON OF A BITCH TRICKED ME." He straightened. "YOU GALS KNOW WHERE I CAN FIND BIKE BOY?"

"No, sorry. He just left," said Tavvy.

"ARGH! DAMN! NOW I HAVE TO LOOK FOR THAT MARIO ANTOINETTE."

"Why do you need to find Tun-san?"

The newcomer turned to the side, displaying the sword sheath buckled to his belt. "I FIXED HIS STUPID SHEATH. HE NEEDS TO PAY ME."

"Oh."

"I HAVE TO GO FIND COFFEE MAN. IT WAS NICE TALKING TO YOU LADIES." The stranger in the welding mask left, slamming the door behind him.

"That was one of the strangest moments of my life," Bailey remarked casually.

Freed snorted. "What, him? He's just Mura, the local blacksmith. Trust me, he's not the strangest guy in town."

This piqued Tavvy's interest. "Who is?"

Freed rubbed his chin, deep in thought. "That's a tough question. In a competition, I think Commodore Genesis would win. But if I were to base my judgment on rumors, I'd say the strangest is Deo, the base's chief doctor. He seems normal enough, but the rumors say he randomly disappears at times and goes to cabaret clubs dressed as a woman."

"That's not strange. He's just a cross dresser then," said Greneland, dismissing the comment with a wave of his hand.

"That's not all!" Freed said. "The rumors also say he's Commodore Gloria's long lost brother and is bent on killing her at all costs. He stalks her in the middle of the night and pretends to love her too."

"Now that's just making stuff up," Tavvy interjected.

Freed shrugged. "As I said, they're rumors. Strange, strange rumors."

"Rumors you shouldn't be spreading."

All four Marines looked to the door. Genesis stood there, his arms crossed, his lips twisted into his classic creepy smile.

Freed hastily saluted. "Commodore! I was just talking to these people," he said in a loud, clear voice.

Genesis's smile widened. He turned his head to look at something in the hallway, out of sight from the four other Marines. He eventually directed his attention back towards Freed. "My, my. Freed, you might have hurt the doctor's feelings." Accompanied by a shrill giggle, the creepy commodore casually indicated the wall, where the metal mesh cover of an air vent was clearly visible. "I'm sure the whole base could hear you."

Freed paled. "Oh damn."

Genesis licked his lips. "Why, Freed, I think you need some discipline. Perhaps something to keep that tongue of yours in check. Maybe spending the afternoon as Rear Admiral Kokie's personal slave will make you a better Marine."

A lump formed in Tavvy's throat as sympathy for Freed flooded his mind. He shrank back against a crate in the hopes that he would blend into it and not be seen. Bailey had already scooted behind the same crate and was counting the seconds until Genesis left.

"W-with all due respect, sir," began Freed, his voice quivering, "I think that's a terrible idea."

That only served to widen Genesis's smile. "Good. That will make it all the more...fun. Wouldn't it?"

Freed hung his head. He did not look very happy.

"And as for you three…"

Tavvy squeaked in fright. Bailey gulped. Greneland grimaced.

"Congratulations! You passed!" It was Genesis's turn to not look happy and his voice sagged with false enthusiasm. "Great job on using the available resources to get free in an optimal time! That was swell!" He slightly inclined his head towards Tavvy and the white-haired adolescent couldn't help but think Genesis could read minds.

"HEY, CREEPY FACE. WHERE'S BISHIE FACE? I GOT HIS SHEATH!" the unmistakable voice of the masked blacksmith boomed from farther along the hallway.

"Well, he's not here. I'm sure he went off to find the coffee room," Genesis answered.

"WHAT? THEN WHERE'S THE COFFEE ROOM?"

A brief frown crossed the commodore's face. He was unused to being asked that question by anyone other than Tundra. "We don't have a coffee room," he called. "But why don't you leave the sheath with me? I'll give it to my sweet Tundra when I see him again."

"HELL NO! I'M NOT LEAVING THIS SHEATH IN DIRTY HANDS LIKE YOURS! I'LL TAKE MY CHANCES WITH THE COFFEE ROOM, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. BYE, SHEEP DOG."

A faint grin remained on Genesis's lips, but his hand gripped the edge of the doorframe with such force that the metal twisted under his grasp. "Sheep dog?" he hissed. He turned his head to the four Marines inside the laundry room. "Tomorrow, be at the bridge by noon. If you're late, you. will. die."

Without looking back, he slammed the door behind him as he left, the slab of metal bouncing off the doorframe due to the deformity the commodore had caused. The door hummed for a good ten minutes as it strained to return to an equilibrium state.

"Wow. Never thought I'd live to see the commodore genuinely angry," muttered Freed.

Bailey could only shake his head. "Why am I here?" he wailed to the sky, or rather, the ceiling.

Tavvy's eyes lit up. "Because you want to be my—"

Bailey groaned and smacked himself in the face.

"—awesome Marine friend!"

It took a few moments for Bailey to comprehend those words, and when he did, he turned to Tavvy, slightly surprised and with a hand-shaped red mark covering his face. Then, he grinned. "Yeah. You finally got it right."

Tavvy gave his friend a double thumbs up.

"Oh, please. Save the tear-jerking moments for when someone dies," Greneland said with an exasperated sigh, interrupting the moment with a bored wave of his hand. Ignoring the venomous looks from Tavvy and Bailey, he moved past the other Marines and exited the room, grumbling to himself about the poor treatment he, a prince, was receiving.

Freed exhaled loudly, then slumped to his knees. "Well, my humanity will soon disappear. Kokie's going to work me like an animal," he murmured.

Tavvy and Bailey didn't hear him. They went off to play some pinball at the arcade.

A single tear ran down Freed's cheek. "Such a cruel world."

* * *

><p>Hey, it's the scary underwear guy! Ensign Freed saves the day! Such a noble sacrifice! In case you're wondering, yes, Skorpio broke Tundra's sheath. That's why Tundra wrapped his sword in cloth all the way back in chapter 14. And in case you're wondering, yes, I am a genius. *evil laughter*<p>

So how will the unlikely trio of Tavvy, Bailey, and Greneland survive the 'mutual suffering' training from the commodores? Well, stay tuned to find out!


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